"Don't you think it's too early for the sun to rise at this hour?"

Snooty Guy and I left the house at 5:04, but it wasn't that dark. The sky was a bit lighter than dark blue. It was enough for us to see the path without relying on any lamps. We were already halfway through at 5:21, which meant that the lights from the ancestral house no longer reached the paths leading to the garden.

"October na, gano'n talaga. Maagang sumisikat ang araw."

I woke up at four. It was so early for me to wake up at that hour since I usually got out of bed at six. I took a hot bath and did my other morning routine. Changed into a comfortable red tank top and denim shorts. Since we would be walking, I wore my running shoes for safety. And there was Snooty Guy wearing a loose shirt, denim jeans, and a pair of thick rubber slippers. He woke up earlier than me, and by the time I went out of my room, he was already waiting for me in the foyer.

"You know, when I was kid, my friend and I used to go to that old garden," I said, telling him about Billy.

"Um-hmm. Kahit bawal?"

"We know na bawal. But!" I pointed my finger at him. "It was fun! That was the best part of my childhood!" I exclaimed in excitement. "And besides, my friend was the one picking me up every morning so we could watch the sun rose on the garden. I couldn't go there alone. Kaya nga ako magpapasama sa 'yo today since I'm not as reckless as you think. They said that garden was the portal to the world of the engkantos."

Snooty Guy chuckled and shook his head. Kung ayaw niyang maniwala, ayos lang. I know it wasn't true, but still, a lore is a lore. And it was a magical folklore for me.

"By the way, did you grow up here?" I asked as I watched my step on the rocky path. "Like, really, I was wondering about that kasi parang close kayo ng lola ko. I used to visit this place every month until I was ten, so I'm not sure if dito ka lumaki, and I just happened not to know you during those visits."

Palingon-lingon lang ako sa kanya kasi ayokong madapa na naman habang kasama siya. So I had to watch where I stepped if I didn't want him to mock me again for being clumsy.

"Hindi ako tagarito. Sa Manila ako lumaki," sabi niya.

"Really? Where sa Manila? Sa Manila rin kasi kami dati."

"Sa may Bel-Air. Hindi eksaktong Manila City. Sa Metro Manila ba."

"Bel-Air? I've never heard of that. Pero dito ka sa Laguna nag-elementary and high school?"

"Hindi. Sa San Agustin ako. Makati."

"Oh! San Agustin? That friend I was talking about, sa San Agustin din siya. His name is Billy."

"Billy what?"

"Just Billy. Si Tita Cel, she's a Claveria, so maybe he's Billy Claveria."

"Akala ko ba, friend mo. Tapos hindi mo alam ang pangalan? Friend mo ba talaga?" natatawang sabi niya, so I defended myself.

"Okay! For the record, I wasn't aware na dapat alam ko ang full name ng friend ko no'ng bata ako. I knew my classmates' full names! But my friends outside the school? I just know their names, like . . . the first name or something. They didn't even know mine, so . . . you get me?" I explained, pointing my fingers in the air as I detailed things on my end. "We can be friends and not know all stuff about you. I know you're William! They call you Gimo. That's all! Anyway, what's your last name?"

"De Chavez."

"William de Chavez. Okay, so I know at least one legal stuff about you. Do you know my name?"

"Esther."

"Correct. We can start from there. So don't call me 'psst' or 'hoy' 'cause that's so annoying. I'm not a cat. You can call me Esther or Ada. In Scottsdale, they call me Ada from my last name, but not ah-dah. It's Ey-da. But not Ey-da-har. Still, Adah-har."

"Chichi."

I gasped, my head snapping toward him, eyes wide as I processed what he had just said. "You called me what?"

He grinned at me, enjoying my shocked reaction. "Chichi."

"Where did you get that?" I stopped walking and rested my hands on my waist.

He stopped walking as well and stared at me. "Wala. Narinig ko lang."

"Narinig mo from whom?"

"Ewan ko, basta narinig ko lang. Mali ba 'ko?"

He wasn't wrong, but Billy was the only person calling me Chichi. It came from "small chicken," and it was an inside joke between us. No one called me Chichi in this place. I used to go by Teray here, but Billy didn't like that, so I became Chichi instead since it sounded cuter.

"You're a freaking weirdo, dude." I continued walking.

The sun was peeking at the clouds, and I was hoping it wouldn't be as cloudy as last night. Snooty Guy wore a silver watch, so we reached the front of the old garden nineteen minutes before six. Mas maliwanag na rin pagdating namin sa lumang gate. Bluish pa rin ang paligid, pero kitang-kita na ang buong area.

"We used to climb up this gate," I said, holding the rusty metal. In my memory, it was higher, but now, I am taller than it. It barely reached the height of my eyes. I was only five feet six.

Billy and I used to climb this gate, but now, it could hardly stand on its own. The rust ate almost all of it, and a few of the stronger parts of the grills remained on the lower part.

"Ang alam ko, kapag nabenta na 'tong lupa, ipagigiba na rin 'to," Snooty Guy said, lifting the gate to open it.

I felt a pang of sadness upon hearing it. After waiting so long to return and see this place, that was the last thing I wanted to hear.

The hinge of the gate was broken, and the thick vines were the only support it had to stay in place.

Pumasok na kami sa loob. The vines of the pretty blue morning glories covered all of the spaces of the stone wall. The flowers bloomed so lovely even in subtle sunlight. Some of the perennials inside the garden were blooming. The corners and walls were filled with blue, red, yellow, and purple flowers. I walked near the old fountain. The ground was full of dry leaves and water, maybe from the rain. Even the middle statue of a mermaid, where the water was supposed to flow, was full of dry leaves. Behind the fountain was the gazebo with a podium in the middle.

"I once fell here inside the fountain," I uttered as I ran my fingers on the marble rim.

"Lagi ka palang nahuhulog, pero sinisi mo 'ko no'ng nahulog ka sa palayan?"

I immediately glared at him kasi hindi ba niya nakikitang nagre-reminisce ako? Couldn't he shut his mouth and let me have my time to appreciate an old memory?!

"I'm being emotional right now!" I yelled. "Give this moment to me, okay? I waited for this for thirteen fucking years!"

Snooty Guy was still grinning, but he lifted his hands in the air, giving up. "Oo na, sige na."

"I hate you." I rolled my eyes and sighed. Now, he ruined the moment.

I was now looking at an old fountain with dry leaves and dirty water. Damn it.

Ang sama tuloy ng tingin ko sa kanya.

"Ano?" natatawang tanong niya.

"I'm starting to regret bringing you here."

He was chuckling at me, halatang nang-aasar talaga. He started to walk around the fountain.

"Ang sumpa ko . . . sa iyo'y asahan . . ." he sang in his low, baritone voice. "Paborito 'yan ng lola mo. Lagi niyang pinakakanta sa 'kin," he said in his normal voice before he continued, "Ikaw lamang ang aking iibigin mapakailanman . . . kantahin ko raw 'yan sa pakakasalan ko na sana maabutan niya."

My eyes followed him as he traced the rim of the fountain with his right hand.

"Ang sabi nila, ito raw ang dating ballroom area ng mansiyon n'yo," kuwento niya, at hindi ko 'yon alam. "Pinagawa 'to ng asawa ni Lola Ditas para sa kanya. Naabandona lang kasi hindi pala gusto ni Lola Toyang ang idea nitong hardin. Hindi na rin nila na-maintain, o sinadyang hindi na i-maintain kasi dagdag gastos lang. Napabayaan na nila kaya plano na ring i-demolish kapag nalipat na ang titulo ng lupa."

"They told you about that?"

"Malalaman mo naman 'yan basta magtagal ka rito," mabilis na sagot niya. "Bawal nang pumunta rito dahil maliban sa may nalaglag na sa fountain, na mukhang nakaka-relate ka naman, malamok din tapos malayo na sa puwede kang makatawag ng tulong kung sakaling maaksidente ka. Saka ano ba'ng gagawin mo rito, puro na nga baging 'to rito sa loob?"

"I'm here for the memory . . . and the sun."

He cringed at me and nodded as if he had just accepted my nonsense reason. "Sige, sabi mo, e."

I sat on the brink and waited for the sunrays. In my peripheral vision, I saw Snooty Guy walk near me, and I only glanced at him when he sat beside me.

We sat there silently, waiting for something he surely couldn't understand.

It didn't make any sense telling him that I was here for the sun. I literally could see the sun in my window, but I was here to recall a moment. His wristwatch made a tiny beep, telling us that it was already six. The sun had risen, but not enough for the rays to reach the leaves.

"Naniniwala kang gate 'to papunta sa mundo ng mga engkanto?"

I suddenly glanced at him. "I know that sounds weird. It didn't look like one this time."

"Underwhelming bang ganito ang maabutan mo rito?"

"I remember it to be magical . . ." I sighed. "Or maybe I grew up."

"Marami ka lang nakitang bagay saka alam na ng utak mo kung ano'ng mga dapat paniwalaan sa hindi," paliwanag niya. "Noong bata ka, magical pa siguro dito kasi inosente pa ang utak mo. Ngayon, malabo na 'yon. Kung ano lang ang makikita mo rito, 'yon na 'yon, literal."

"I'm still hoping," I murmured.

After an hour of waiting, the sun finally blessed the garden with the rays I was longing to see since last month. It was slowly peeking at the green leaves of every vine, showing the small grains passing every streak. I let one ray pass my eyes as I closed them. The morning sun wasn't as hot as the afternoon sun. It was giving a different warmth. A kind of healthy and safe warmth for the skin.

The light was enough to paint a roseate veil behind my closed eyelids. I smelled his manly aroma once again, and it made the feeling warmer because of his body's natural scent. It only took a few minutes for the light to leave my eyes as the sun rose. It gradually shifted from my eyes down to my cheek and jaw. When I opened them, the morning light bathed all the foliage before me.

Nilingon ko sa kaliwang gilid si Snooty Guy nang maalala kong may kasama nga pala ako. He was staring at me with his soft brown eyes. It was the softest expression I've seen so far from him—not sarcastic, not grinning, not mocking me.

"I'm here for that sun," I gently murmured.

Maybe I missed Billy a lot, I saw my friend's eyes in him.

He softly brushed the strands of my hair resting on my cheek. My eyes followed his movement, and it took a second of my breath away when he reached for my lips. My right hand held his shoulder to push him away, but I failed at doing so. I left a thin line on my hardly closed eyes just to see things around me. The warmth I was feeling earlier turned into something hotter. I felt his hand grasp my nape, pulling me close to him. His lips were soft and asked me to welcome them. I parted my lips and let his tongue play against mine. A part of me was telling me to knock him off, but a huge part inside my chest asked for more from him.

His warm breath was brushing against the side of my lips every time he tilted his head to kiss me deeper. I pulled away to catch my breath. His eyes were asking why I did that, so I intentionally let him hear my heavy breathing.

"Wait." I stood up and brushed my fingers through my hair. I was confused, but I didn't want to care about it. I bit my wet, numbing lips and took a few steps away from him before I looked at him again. Nakatayo na rin siya at mukhang naghihintay.

Fuck!

Maybe I should think about this later, but now? Fuck it, I need more.