Phantom had his hands folded behind his head and stared up at the stars. His shirt had ridden up a little, and Ezra had immediately taken advantage of that. His fingers traced lazy patterns over his stomach, calm, almost absent-minded, with the kind of ease that suggested they'd done this a hundred times before.

The kiss still tingled on Phantom's lips.

He wanted to kiss him again, to get lost in him—anything to stop thinking about what lurked at the edges of his mind: Ezra's brother.

Ezra wasn't the real reason he'd brought his favorite band here. That reason was his brother. A thought that made his stomach churn, because lying came way too easy these days. The words found their way to his mouth on their own.

Unlike with Lola, this wasn't an act. Not even a little.

His heart was pounding like crazy. His body ached for Ezra's, his mind craved his presence.

Because whether Ezra's brother was a murderer or not, Ezra was amazing. Handsome, funny, confident, magnetic—and there were a hundred other reasons Phantom could fall for him.

Was falling for him.

Balancing that with the weight of revenge was getting harder by the minute, and he knew it would only get worse from here on out.

But maybe it wasn't one or the other.

Maybe he could have his revenge and keep Ezra.

Could he keep it from him, if he ended up killing his brother? It felt fucking unfair that that bastard might cost him not just his brother, but Ezra too.

So maybe he wouldn't let that happen.

This thing with Ezra—it had potential. It could turn into something real. He could help him through losing his brother. He knew what that was like. Yeah, it was fucked up to keep something like that secret.

But his whole life was already fucked up. And he didn't want to lose Ezra. Guys like him didn't come around twice.

That helped ease some of the guilt.

He wasn't playing Ezra. He really liked him.

The fact that Ezra could also lead him to a killer was just a bonus.

So yeah, the trick was just making sure Ezra never found out. Be careful. Be patient—don't go diving into his phone the first chance he got, hoping to find some lead.

Ezra liked him. He just had to make sure Ezra kept liking him—and sooner or later he'd cross paths with Jacob, and find a way to take him out without Ezra ever knowing. In fact, the closer they became, the less likely Ezra was to suspect anything.

The hand under his shirt slid up and came to rest on his chest. "What are you thinking about?"

Phantom turned onto his side. He propped himself up on his elbow and looked at Ezra. Moonlight spilled across his face, and his bright eyes reminded Phantom of the stars above.

Stars that had always been his anchor.

Always out of reach, yet always there.

"It still feels kind of unreal. You and me, here. From the moment I showed up at your door, I've been running on adrenaline. What if you didn't give me a chance? What if it wasn't like last time between us?"

Every word was true. He'd dreaded this day—especially because there was so much more riding on it than Ezra knew.

"And now... the adrenaline's wearing off."

"Is that your cryptic way of saying you're tired?"

He chuckled. "Yeah. But I don't really want to get up. And I doubt it's smart to fall asleep out here."

Ezra smiled and pressed a kiss to his lips. "I'll stand guard. No one's gonna rob you."

Phantom felt himself melt. Again. "I don't think anyone would dare rob a Mayan."

"Is that how it really feels?"

"Hm?"

"You can tell yourself you're safe now, but would you really be able to sleep out here peacefully? You're from the same city I am. Same background. It took me a long time to feel safe outside—and I've been out of the gang world for years. That fight-or-flight thing never really goes away."

He hit the nail on the head. All his life he'd felt like he had to watch his back. Even when he moved. Even as a prospect. Even after he got his patch.

But lately, that feeling had faded. The fire he'd stoked after deciding to avenge Travis had consumed all those other thoughts.

"It was there for a long time," he admitted. "That constant fear. But since Lola died... since I showed my brothers who I really am?" He shrugged. "I just got sick of it. That feeling of always being watched."

The way Ezra looked at him—so thoughtful—made him squirm. Like he knew Phantom was hiding something. To shift the focus off himself—and to get some intel—he asked, "How's your brother, anyway? Last time you said you were afraid he'd go off the rails again."

He hit a nerve. Ezra pulled his hand back from under Phantom's shirt and sat up, drawing his knees to his chest and resting his arms on them.

"Well, he hasn't exactly been keeping his head down. Though it wasn't really his fault this time. Some gang members weren't happy he left and saw him as a traitor. They planted drugs on him and tipped off the cops. He got arrested. With his record, they were talking life in prison, so I convinced him to take a deal. Eventually, he did. Now he has a new identity."

I convinced him to take a deal. The words echoed through Phantom's head, then settled like a weight on his chest.

Ezra wanted his brother to have a second chance.

A chance he didn't deserve.

Would Ezra still feel that way if he knew what his brother had done?

Before those thoughts could drag him under, Phantom searched for a response. "Wow." Not the best reaction. "That must've been rough. Are you even allowed to stay in touch with him?"

Ezra stared into the distance and sighed. "I don't even know where he lives now. How he's doing. We're not allowed to contact each other for the first three months because of all the court stuff. My mom's taking it hard. She's had fewer panic attacks now that he's not going to prison, but it's killing her not being able to talk to him. And she doesn't trust the system."

Three months. That was longer than Phantom had hoped, but it also meant they had time. Time to go slow. Time to set the doubts aside—for now.

"Intense," Phantom mumbled. "But better than rotting in a cell, I guess."

"Yeah. For sure." Ezra looked out over the water. "I just hope he doesn't screw up again. He stresses Mom out so bad, and I always have to be the one to calm her down. I don't mind doing it, but sometimes... sometimes it feels like I don't get to live my life." He turned his head toward Phantom. "So just so you know—if we keep doing this, there might be moments I get called away because Mom's having a panic attack or a psychotic episode."

"I get it. Family matters." The words tasted bitter. Before Ezra could pick up on it, Phantom added, "It's kind of like that with the Mayans too. I always need to be ready if something goes down. It's been calm lately, but a few months ago we had some serious trouble."

Ezra gave a crooked smile. "Well, at least neither of those things ruined today. That's a good start."

Phantom leaned into him. For a while, they sat in silence, listening to the hum of cars and the distant murmur of voices. Across the lake, someone walked two dogs on a leash.

A raindrop hit his arm. Then another on his ear. He sighed inwardly. It wasn't the club or Ezra's mom that ended their night—but the weather.

Phantom got to his feet. "Afraid we will be soaked when I drop you off home."

Ezra stood too. "Your place too?"

"Less likely." He hesitated. "Do you want to?"

Ezra shrugged. "I'm not scared of a little rain." He held Phantom's gaze. "But I wouldn't mind spending the night with you."

The rain picked up, but Phantom barely noticed. Ezra's eyes held him still, made him feel so warm it was like the raindrops evaporated right off his skin.

He had considered this. He'd even made sure he was somewhat prepared. But still, his heart was thudding in his chest.

They had to last at least three months.

And Phantom wasn't exactly experienced. What if Ezra found that a huge turn-off? That could ruin everything.

Something in his expression must've given him away, because Ezra chuckled. He leaned in and kissed him gently. "We don't have to do anything. Not unless you're ready. I can sleep on the couch."

"That's stupid," Phantom muttered. He felt his cheeks growing warm.

With Nathan, he had been anything but shy, though that was mostly because of the alcohol. He wasn't sure if that was really the case now – there was just so much at stake.

And yes, he had still considered those three months manageable not long ago.

Now he realized that a lot could still go wrong during those three months.

Ezra hooked his fingers alongside Phantom's. "If we stand here, we'll get wet anyway."

Ezra's palm pressed against his. A small gesture that had been taboo until very recently. Phantom tightened his grip and stepped away from the water.

Lola was the only one who had stayed the night with him.

And during all those nights, he had fantasized that it was Ezra lying next to him.

Tonight, that would finally happen for real.