Laurie, a lorry
I can't say I'm sorry
I must be on my way

Don't ask where I've been
Or whom else I've seen
You were just a really good lay

Brett, what the fuck
Like I'd been hit by a truck
My arse was sore all day

Still I'll allow
I enjoyed your plow
I simply cannot stay

Gerard was a whiner
Mary gave me a shiner
Fred got me covered in hay

Call me a slut
I'll admit nothing but
My love has drifted away