this is what it feels like:

painting for the first time and feeling the smooth wooden handle of the brush against your shaking fingertips,

discovering that your eyes isn't actually black but the deepest hazel,

touching a piano key and suddenly be overcome by some great unexplainable emotion

so deep, it felt alien and unhuman--

to read words so simple yet so loud etched on white, prestine paper

words that somehow felt mine, but not quite

to look at a face and hold your breath in order to fight back tears that came for no reason,

to suddenly remember, then forget

like an attempt to imprison smoke --or smell

to lapse into sleep while awake

this is what it feels like.