Dusk: This is probably the second weirdest way I’ve almost died.
Sunset: What was the first?
Dusk: It’s very complicated but, long story short, my family is banned from every Olive Garden in the state.
(Source: Tumblr)

“If a guy calls you ‘princess’ in a condescending matter, assert your newly appointed loyal status and have him beheaded.”
– Bloody

(Source: Tumblr)

Silence: Imagine if you came home one night and everyone was like, quietly reading.
Bloody: I would be suspicious.

(Source: questionable content)

Bloody: I scared them, didn’t I?
Secret: They’re terrified of you.
Bloody: That makes me so happy.
(Source : great news)

Bishop’s parent: You want to grow up to be a lady/gentleman, don’t you?
Bishop: Not particularly.
(Source: to kill a mockingbird)

“Alcohol tastes better when you’re underage because the secret ingredient is crime.”
– Bishop

(Source: Reddit)

Director: Cut! Silence, you have to be angry at Dusk! You’re supposed to be fighting in this scene, remember?
Silence: I can’t be mad at Dusk, though! Look at them! It’s like trying to be angry at a goddamn cinnamon roll!

(Source Tumblr)

Bishop: I’m giving out rotisserie chickens to trick or treaters tonight.
[across town]
Bloody: Who the fuck gave Secret a rotisserie chicken when they went trick or treating?

(Source Tumblr)

Secret: If Bishop and I were both drowning, who would you save?
Bloody: I don’t know, both of you.
Secret: No, if you could only save one of us.
Bloody: Well, I would probably save Bishop, because they can’t swim and I happen to know you’re an excellent swimmer.
Secret: What if I was holding an anchor? Who would you save then?
Bloody: Well, why don’t you just let go of the anchor?
Secret: It’s a family heirloom.
Bloody: I’m leaving.

(Source: Monk)

Bloody: Secret, not that I don’t appreciate your efforts, but exactly where did the money for these come from?
Secret: I did a thing.
Bloody: A thing?
Secret: Best not talk about the thing.
Bloody: We’ll talk about the thing later.
(Source: criminal minds)

Bishop: I’m good.
Bishop: I haven’t slept in a solid 83 hours, but yeah I’m good.
(Source: Adventure time)

Secret: Why are you helping me so much?
Bishop: Because my life is a mess right now and I compulsively take care of other people when I don’t know how to take care of myself.

(Source : Bojack horseman)