Percy Flynn

"I'm Brenda, I'm a freshman in college. I'm bipolar and I once pushed my sister down the stairs during a manic period." Her green eyes darted around the circle. "She didn't die and I'm getting better. Taking my drugs now."

There was silence and then everybody clapped for her, I looked over at Spencer and he wasn't looking as tensed as he was when we first got in here.

"Okay, thank you Brenda for sharing that." The guy that led this group, Gideon said, and then his eyes moved and rested on me. "Now, how about you, mind sharing what brought you here?"

I gulped looking over at Spence one last time, before clearing my throat. "I'm Percy, I'm a junior in high school. I-- um, my girlfriend cheated on me and I know it probably isn't a big deal compared to other things but, I guess it kind of lowered my self esteem a bit. I don't let it show but... I'm really scared of not being enough." I gulped, holy shit. "--not being good enough to be loved."

The room fell silent again, and then went up in applause. I looked over at Spencer and he was already looking at me. I smiled at him and he did.

"Thank you for sharing that Percy and no problem is too big or too small in here." The man said, then turned to Spencer. "How about you?"

Spence was biting hard on his lip and I nodded at him silently telling him that he could do it. "I-- I'm Spencer, a senior in high school. I spent most of my life being an orphan and going through foster homes, then I found my mom and then I lost her to cancer." He gulped. "I have abandonment issues. I get attached, some times more than I should and I do stupid things. I'm probably depressed and..." He looked over at me, our eyes locking. "I guess, the bottom line is I want to get better. I want to be a better person for me and for the ones I love."

*

We walked into the gym, spotting James immediately as he stood giving orders to a group of guys and girls lifting dumbbells. He was sweaty already, his muscles bulging out from everywhere.

"Oh hey Percy, long time no see." He said walking over after we waved.

"I can't say I haven't missed you. Unfortunately," I replied smiling and taking note of his darker red hair.

"Awe. Give daddy a hug." He said opening his arms wide and I cringed dodging out of the way.

"Um, no way in hell," Spencer's chuckle brought James's attention to him.

"Oh hey, brother. How's it been?"

"Fine, nice to see you," Spencer said shaking hands with the sweaty piece of meat.

"Sorry, I was just trying to catch up with my wife over here." He winked at me and I rolled my eyes.

"What was I saying about missing you? I take back everything."

He ignored me. "And, I'm really sorry about your mum."

Spencer shrugged. "Thank you."

"Great, now that all is said and done. Get back to work boss." I put my arm over Spencer's shoulder directing us to our destination.

"I should be telling you that!"

"Are you sure I'm not going to be a distraction to you. I could just sit out there and watch." Spencer said adorably.

"Spence, I'm here because of you. You are not going to sit anywhere unless by my side." I paused. "Not to be possessive or anything. Just saying."

He smiled. "Okay..."

We entered into my usual practice area. It was mine and James, it was where he trains anyone that wants it private and that was not all the time so it's usually empty. I took off my jacket and watched Spencer take his off too.

"Wait, we're not going to..." He trailed off looking around the semi dark empty room.

I rolled out the punching bag, until it was hanging in the center of the room. "Going to what?"

His face turned red. "N-nothing, forget it."

I grabbed the wraps for our hands and walked to him, taking his hand and gently wrapping it up. "Going to what? Say what you wanted to say."

He shook his head. "No. It's nothing really."

I nodded, pecking his lips and going around him. "Okay." I showed him the hair band I got. "May I?" He nodded and I proceeded to run my fingers through his hair, gathering it up and tying it with the band.

I walked back to his front and examined my work. Wasn't my best, he still had locks hanging out a bit. His face was flushed and his hazel eyes looked so perfect. I didn't know when my fingers found his cheek, and his lips. His eyes closed briefly and I smiled. "You know when I first saw your picture on Facebook you had your hair up like this and looked like you were in photo shoot. I thought you were some celebrity or YouTube star I haven't heard of." I exhaled, unable to look away from his eyes. "Anyway, my thought was; God, he's so beautiful."

Spencer bit his lip, shyly looking down at his feet and back at me.

"God, you're so beautiful." I couldn't help myself but say. He didn't say anything, his hand just moved until it was resting on my neck. He gulped, closing the little space between us until his lips were on mine. My eyes closed shut and I kissed him back, my mouth opening up to let his tongue in. He moaned a little and I very much lost it.

"Fuck!" I pulled away, trying to think of things that I can think of to reduce the entire blood flow going down to my dick. Not now.

"What?"

I ran my hand through my hair. "I don't think James, no matter how much he likes you, is going to appreciate us doing what that kiss was putting in my head, right here in his gym."

"Oh, sure."

I smiled, moving to the bag. "Come on, let's punch this baby."

"Let's?" He started shaking his head. "No way, I can't."

"You can and you will." I dragged him forward. "It's easy, it's just about channeling your thoughts, emotions and feelings through your muscles and to the bag. Like baggage in, baggage out."

"I've never done this before."

I nodded. "Yeah, neither had I until I actually started."

He rolled his eyes. "Why do you want me to do this again?"

I shrugged. "I just thought it'll be good for you. Like a better way of letting things off your chest, transferring the hurt and anger."

"So instead of cutting myself, I punch the bag."

I gulped, "Basically."

He looked at me, "Is that really fair to the bag, I mean, it doesn't really deserve it."

"Well, I'm not in love with the bag so I don't really give a shit to what it deserves in this context." He giggled. I moved to position in front of the bag. "Watch." I fisted my hand and threw it forward, sending the bag swinging.

"Whoa." Spencer exclaimed. "Do that again." I did. "Again please." I did. "Again--"

"Come on." I laughed, dragging him to position in front of the bag. "It's easy, just punch the bag."

"I'm doing this." He said, positioning himself like we was about to tackle someone. I burst out laughing.

"God, Spence no need to keep your legs like you're a wrestler."

He blushed. "Oh and fuck you for laughing." I laughed some more. He glared and I shut my mouth.

Hit.

"That's it— aim and hit harder." I advised like James. I've heard James do this more than a couple times.

Spencer concentrated and started hitting the bag harder and harder and harder. I watched his skin change shade and the different emotions passing across his face. I had to stop him before he injured himself.

"Okay, let's work together." I removed my shoes. "There this thing James taught me once. It's amateur and not really part of taekwondo or any other fighting skill but it's something. He called it the First Step of Dodge James."

"First Step of Dodge James?" Spencer repeated after me. "Why did he have to put his name after?"

"I asked the same thing but never got an answer." Spencer nodded. "So basically, I try to punch you and you Dodge. Then I try to kick you and you Dodge. Get it?"

"I think so."

"Okay, throw punches at me. Like we are in a fight," He raised a brow at me and I encouraged him to come at me. "Come on, right hand punch, left hand punch, then a kick. I'll be okay."

He nodded, fisted his palm and throws a punch at me. I raised my left hand to block his first punch and when he punches with his left, I block with my right. Then when he kicked, I jumped a step back avoiding his leg.

"Whoa."

"That was good but I'll need you to take your leg up higher when you kick," I explained, then demonstrated by myself. "Aim for my chest or head if you can."

"I don't think my leg can go that high," He said, looking a bit put off.

"It can, just try."

He nodded, inhaling deeply and then we repeat the whole thing again and when he kicked, I bent backwards watching his leg pass over me.

"Shit." He smiles widely, "I thought... Wow."

"Well you thought wrong." I said smiling because he's smiling. "Do you think you can do that?"

"No way."

"Are you willing to try?"

"Hell yeah."

"There's the risk of me hitting you..." I said, just remembering that and wondering where I got this idea.

"I'm up for it Percy."

I nodded, "I'm going to go slow." He nodded too getting ready. I threw a small punch, his hand went up and blocked it, I threw another one and he blocked it. Then I kicked so slowly, I almost fall and he dodged it too. This happens two more times, until...

"Come on, I'm okay. Get serious with me." Spencer said bouncing on his feet. I contemplated it and decided to test it. I punched harder and he blocked it, eye wide and looking at me. I didn't give him the space to breath before throwing another but he blocked it too. He was smiling proudly until my feet flew hitting him on the side of his face and sending him down to the floor.

"Shit." I ran to him, kneeling on the floor to inspect his face. It was getting red already. "Fuck it Spencer, I'm so sorry."

"It's fine." He sat up, touching it and hissing a bit.

I felt so bad. This idea came from the devil. "I'm so sorry Spence."

He smiled, kissing my cheek. "Really it's fine. Let's do that again."

"No fucking way." I stood up and gave him a hand, pulling him up. "I might hurt you again. No way."

"Percy, we're doing that again. If you hurt me, so be it. I'd just learn to be better."

"I can't hurt you. I don't want to. I shouldn't."

He smiled. "Thanks boyfriend, now stop over thinking this and just punch me already."

It took a lot out of me but I finally punched, he dodged. I punched again, dodged. Then I kicked slowly and he dodged. We continue, my pace increasing steady. "Right. Left. Duck!" It continued until he successfully dodged a really fast kick from me. We both looked at each other in surprise, chest heaving up and down, painful smile on our faces.

"Yes! Yes, I did it!"

We burst out laughing.

*

I knew what I wanted but I didn't know exactly how to ask or go for it. It has never been this confusing; I always knew how to ask Janis for sex. Did I have to propose porn again? Was it stupid that I was thinking about it so hard? Wait, was it too soon for him? Or...

My train of thoughts came to a halt as our door knob rattled and then opened up, Spencer coming in dressed in sweatpants and a tee shirt. His hair was wet from the shower he just had and he kept on toweling it.

"D-do you need a bl-blow-- blow-dryer?" I asked. Since when do I shutter?

He looked at me, "do you have a blow-dryer?"

I shook my head. "No."

He smiled. "So?"

"I'm sorry, it's a stupid question."

He chuckled. "I don't need one anyway. My hair dries quickly." Silence fell around the room. I just watched him towel his hair some more and make his bed. "Did you really mean it?"

"Huh?" I asked distractedly, turning my eyes away from his ass.

He sits, fixing his hazel eyes on me. "What you said at the group, did you really mean it?"

Oh.

"Maybe."

"You weren't just making it up?" He asked looking a bit surprised. "You sometimes feel like you're not enough?"

I sighed. I really don't know where all I said there came out from. I was just really looking for what to say when my time came and I couldn't find anything with me to match theirs. I didn't want to say I was just there for my boyfriend before they start seeing me as an invader or Spencer as a showoff for bringing his boyfriend along. Like they didn't have theirs to bring along too. I panicked when he asked me and I opened my mouth and words started pouring out. Now that I think about it though, I guess they came out from somewhere.

"Truthfully, yeah. I think the feeling has always been there, like I just had to be good at things. I put on this facade like I don't care but I really do. I try really hard to be good at everything I do." Pause. "With Janis, I really tried to be the best boyfriend she could ever have. I've never done it all before but I didn't want to be bad at it. I really thought I was... perfect." I ran my hands through my hair. "Then she cheated and suddenly I didn't know anything anymore. It's like no matter how much I put in, it is not good enough. I don't want to disappoint anyone. I don't want anyone disappointed in me. I know I can't please everyone and I shouldn't care about other people's bullshit thoughts but... I do. With Paxton, it's so easy you know. He's perfect. I want... sometimes. Many times, I want to be like him." I smiled. "I guess we've all got our insecurities somehow."

Spencer got up and sat with me on my bed, our legs touching. "How come I never knew all this?"

I shrugged. "I didn't know myself."

"Percy, I don't know if this is going to help but you're the closest thing to perfection out here in this very imperfect world." He held my hands in his. "You're the perfect friend. The perfect brother, I can bet my liver Paxton sometimes wants to be like you. You're the perfect boyfriend and Janis... Janis is a frog for not seeing that."

I laughed, "A frog?"

He shook his head. "It's even insulting to frogs to say that."

I burst out laughing. "You're the best too. I couldn't ask for anything more." I touched his face, seeing the bruise from this afternoon. "I'm sorry I hurt you."

"Shut up about that already." He said, pulling my face to his and kissing me like we haven't kissed in months.

We kissed slowly for like the first time in ever, exploring each other's mouth like trying to find a map. My fingers moved into his hair and holding his head in place as our tongue danced to the tune of passion. His hand crept up my body, warm fingers resting on my chill skin and making me shiver. I bit his lip and he moaned, prompting us to stand up the bed.

He pulled off his shirt as I pulled off mine. "Let's go on a date tomorrow." I rushed out, staring as his wonderfully tanned skin. I closed the distance between us, making our now equally warm bodies touch as I kiss and bite on his neck.

He moaned hands holding tightly to my hair. "Where?"

"I don't know yet," My lips found his again. "You'll just have to find out tomorrow."

Spencer nods, fingers quickly undoing my pants rope. "Okay." He then gently pushed me back to the bed, with my pants pooled by my feet. With his eyes still on mine, he went on his knees.

"Wait Spence," I stopped him. "Is this okay?"

"I don't know." Was his answer before he nodded. "I guess?"

"Okay... I guess." We smiled and in less than a minute the smile was gone from my face replaced by my lips shaping into an 'O' as one of my hand slapped on the bed, back arching and the other hand on Spencer's hair.

"Oh fuck!"

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