Chapter 141 - "Guilty Conscience..."

Clara's PoV

'What do we tell the girls? What do we tell them?' Richard asked as Lilly and him snuggled on the double bed in the spare room that evening.

It had been one hell of a day. One hell of an emotional day for Richard.

'I don't know. Was it that bad?'

'You didn't see it' Richard hummed hiding his face in the crook of his wife's neck. They were really this intimate - especially since Lilly had found out Richard had been lying to him.

But there was something about this situation that just seemed - and was so familiar to Richard.

'It was awful. I nearly had to witness two people kill themselves' he mumbled not sure what to think or where to turn.

The events that unfolded after it all were extremely dramatic.

John had realised what the hell he had done. He had stabbed his girlfriend with a razor. With a Fucking razor. Not only was he harming himself now - he was harming the people he cared the most about.

Doctors had warned Richard when they got to the hospital that she had lost an awful lot of blood which meant they had to do several blood transfusions - warning them that Clara could be unconscious for days.

When Richard left - Clara had, had an operation and that the reason she had lost so much blood was due to the smallest blade in the world hitting an artery.

It was to be confirmed how and when Clara would actually come around. It could be days.

John had spent every moment from the minute the Clara had passed out to the minute they got to hospital holding her hand and by her side - apologising. Whispering apologies in her ear as if she could actually hear them. Begging her not to die and begging for her forgiveness.

Richard doubted it would be that easy.

He had seen this kind of thing happen before and he knew now that John was not only a danger to himself through all of this but he was now a danger to other people.

In the last 15 hours social services had been warned about John's mental state and the kids had been removed from his charge.

It clearly stated on a number of documents that if anything was to happen that Richard and Lilly were to take charge until one or either parent was released back into their care.

The worst part for Richard was that John didn't even put up a fight. He handed them over like it was the easiest thing in the world to do.

'We'll work this out Richard. I promise. He'll get better. He'll come back for his kids' Lilly promised but she wasn't sure how true it was or how true she could make it. 'He loves those kids more than anything'

'He loves Clara more than anything... And look what he's done to her' Richard mumbled.

- - -

'What happens now?' John hummed as a nurse was cleaning and stitching up his hand.

It was the first word that he had actually said in hours. The wound on his hand was pretty deep and so out had to be assessed for any vein or artery damage.

To his advantage there wasn't which just made John feel even worse about what he did to Clara. 'You won't put them in care will you?'

'No. It clearly states in several documents that you should have them looked after by a Richard and Lilly Madden correct?' A lady said who was sat next to Alice on the other side of the hospital room.

'What about Clara?'

'Whilst she is in the hospital she is incapable of caring for them. You unfortunately have now been proved to be a liability'

'I wouldn't go that far. He's just sick' Alice scoffed at the woman in her ridiculous pant suit who thinks she can make all the rules and ruin people's lives.

'But he injured his girlfriend'

'Not on purpose, he was scared. As would you be if someone you loved or cared for had fallen off the top of a building. This is my fault anyway' Alice said taking some of the bland away from John as he rose an eyebrow.

'How can any of this be anyone's fault other than mine?' John hummed, as a bandage was attached to his hand and some pain relief injected.

'I never should have let you leave. I should have insisted you come to the unit immediately. You have a problem. It's treatable but not curable' she explained.

'Treatable?'

'With the right amount of rehab with specially trained staff and the right dosage of medication for the next few years - yes - completely treatable'

'And my kids?'

'With social services now involved - it's going to be a long road - but I can't see why there would be any problems' Alice smiled giving John some relief.

'What's wrong with me?'

'A few things. Defiantly a depression. Hence the self harm and crazy outbursts of neediness - yes I've been speaking to Clara - and anxiety. It's called panic disorder. When your not in control of what's happening or can't calm a situation your brain resorts to panics. With therapy it's easy to push them away to happen far less frequently' she explained. 'But aside from that I would put you at border line bipolar'

'What happens now then?'

'You come with me. To a special rehabilitation centre I have briefed on your condition that will help. You have to however want to go. Your unstable - so we can't force you. You have to check yourself in and want the help'

'Will I have freedom? Will I be able to see my kids?'

'Under supervision' the woman in the pant suit pointed out of whose name John hadn't even bothered to remember even though he was pretty sure he would be seeing more of her in the coming months.

'And Clara?

'Will be informed at where you are and you will be told every single movement. There might even be a way of getting you to visit her when she wakes up' Alice winked, invested in John's case now.