Returning back to Rivendell from Lorien on the heels of Haldir's revelations as well as my own, I had nothing left. I got off Sunset at the stables and disappeared into my wing and bedroom. I did not come out for days. When I finally did, I went alone to the waterfall where I first made the wish to the Elven Gods regarding my relationship with Legolas. Just as the sun hit the water, a leaf softly landed there and remembering my first little gift to him along with the letter, I could not take it anymore. I started to weep. My tears flowed out of my eyes like rivers mixing in with the water of Rivendell. My sorrow was so total and complete that I did not think or know how I could ever stop. I sat on the rock for what seemed like an eternity, just letting all of these feeling wash over me.

My heart was broken; into many jagged pieces. I had lost the only man I had ever loved to lord knows what and probably another elven woman. To make matters more complicated, the one person I considered to be like a brother to me, had feelings for me I could not reciprocate so therefore I had lost him too. I did not bother wiping away the tears as they fell in a steady waterfall onto my dress either. There was not anyone there to see me anyways. I would suffer alone in silence; only nature to keep me company. I would grieve and then I would move on. I could not even think that far ahead. Just the thought of never seeing Legolas again, never holding him, never having him kiss me or look at me with that piercing gaze again like I was a woman treasured; was enough to send me over the edge again and more tears to come flowing out.

What if I never stopped? What if these tears would flow forever? Would I become a statue; like so many we had around Rivendell? My aunt's haunting words came into my head just then. 'Your destiny is a path you must walk. It will lead you to your true soul mate. That does not however mean your path will be an easy one. It never is. Just be strong, be you, and you will find your way'. Easy was one thing. This was sorrow beyond my wildest dreams. But how could I find out what really happened? What if he was dead? That brought a new fear into my chest. Even if he chose Tauriel over me; as painful as that was, it would still mean that he was alive somewhere in our lands. I could learn to live with that.

Aunt Galadriel never said he was dead and I know she would have told me if that was the case. He could handle himself well with goblins but who knew what else was out there now. With this 'Necromancer' and what not. Another something I had to think about but I could not even wrap my mind around it all. It was just too much. I was one simple elf. My heart was not equipped to handle that much pain. I had realized that during my last weeping fit, I had slid from the rock to the ground and just lay their crying. The pain had become that overwhelming. As I started to think clearly, I knew I had to get up and go clean myself up. After all, I looked unkempt and a mess and that is just not how I ever presented myself.

I had no idea how long I had spent weeping by that waterfall. So I got myself up, brushed the leaves and brush off of my dress and dried my face with a kerchief I had with me always. I had decided to make my way back to my rooms and take a bath and make myself presentable in case someone was to see me. Especially, what if God forbid my uncle saw me. I could not let him see me like this or even Arwen or her brothers. Unfortunately for me, the first person I ran into on my way to my wing was indeed my uncle. His face was set in a worried frown and his eyes narrowed as they took in my appearance.

"Hedraliel." Uncle Elrond said my name.

"Please uncle, do not look upon me now. Let me go back to my quarters and make myself presentable before we are to speak." I turned my back to him as more tears squeezed themselves out of my eyes before I could stop them.

"Hedraliel, look at me." His voice was a command but a soft one.

I had to obey him and so I slowly turned towards him as my face was again awash with tears. When our eyes finally met, his softened. He slowly walked toward me and opened his arms toward me. I stepped into them as his strong embrace enveloped me in love. I tried so very hard to keep strong but I just could not and I felt myself let go and start to weep again. My heart just could not be strong anymore. If he had not held me up, I probably would have faltered and fallen to the ground but his strong arms held me steady just like they had all my life.

"Shh. Shh dear one. It hurts my heart to see you in so much pain." He said quietly as my sobs subsided.

"I-I.."

"No no, do not try to speak now. Just think about breathing deeply and letting it all go through you." He said wisely. I listened to him and concentrated on slowing my breathing. When I was finally able to think rationally and everything subsided, I stepped away out of his embrace to look at him. His eyes were still filled with quiet concern.

"I am sorry uncle, I did not mean to worry you; it is all probably silly anyways considering what is going on and about the world."

"Never say that. The feelings within your heart are as important as any evil that may be crawling toward us."

"What is going to happen?" I asked in a small voice.

"I do not know as of yet."

"Will we.....will I need to fight?"

"If it comes to that, which I hope it does not....we will do what we must to protect our lands." He said fiercely then.

"Gandalf said....that I am now connected to this. Though he said it was not my fault."

"Yes he was correct, it is not your fault. But do you feel yourself ready to fight a foe you know nothing about? I refuse to sacrifice my kin to any evil." He said frowning again.

"I know I am ready to fight but I do admit I need to sharpen my training. That is why I went to Lorien; well the other reason anyways. Not that that went well." I said looking down then away as fresh tears glistened in my eyes.

"My dear child, I love you like mine own and have raised you thus. Whatever or whoever has caused you the unneeded pain; may they come to their senses and soon. I will not have any of mine children weeping for days. It is unnatural. Please be at ease. Focus on the path Galadriel spoke of. You will find your answers there."

I nodded and with a final hug, went off back to my wing and personal quarters. I took the much needed bath and tossed my frock into a corner for it was dirty and had twigs and such clinging to it along with tree sap. It needed a proper cleaning. We had elven maids that did that for us. As my hair was drying, I lay on my chase lounge chair in my robe by the window lost in thought. After I was ready to get dressed, I decided on a dark purple gown which matched Arwen's, I tied my hair back simply with a piece of ribbon like I used to when I was a young girl; it kept the hair out of my face.

I was clean of all the debris and in clean clothing. I could make an appearance at dinner now; even though my eyes were still a bit red and puffy. We had family dinners frequently and though lately, my chair was empty because I was just not into having people stare at me especially given everything that I had experienced. I felt more like myself as I walked down the paths and alley ways to the main house where the massive dining area was set up for our family. Uncle Elrond sat at the head of the table. Arwen would sit on his right side with her brothers on his left and I would sit next to Arwen. I was looking forward to having a nice dinner with my kin. As I was walking over the last bridge in the main forest before entering the house, I heard someone call my name. I turned and to my surprise saw Haldir standing there.

"Wha-what are you doing here?" I stammered as I crossed my arms across my chest. I was preparing myself for more pain but at least here I could run away if need be and I also knew my uncle would kick him out.

"I wanted to speak with you." He said quietly, looking me over especially the redness of my eyes which did not need to be explained.

"I think you said enough." I replied in a rather cold voice but I could not afford to fall apart again.

"No. I came here to apologize. I acted rudely and you did not deserve that. I should never have just thrown my feelings on you like that and expected you to feel the same. I knew also that the chances of that happening were slim." He exhaled.

"Is there a problem here?"

Just as Haldir finished speaking, one of Arwen's brothers Elrohir also on his way to dinner saw us, knew that something unpleasant had happened between us two in order to make me look the way I had before and had every intention of kicking Haldir out. Arwen and I were both very protected by her brothers (Elladan and Elrohir) and father here. I shook my head and touched his arm.

"No everything is fine Elrohir. Go on to dinner, I will be along shortly." He nodded, gave Haldir a sharp look and continued on his way.

"I guess I am not well liked here at the moment." Haldir said looking down.

"Can you blame them?"

"No I cannot." He said honestly.

"So what do you want from me? I cannot give you what you seek." I said quietly.

"I realize that but you were right. I am glad you told me the truth instead of pretending you cared the same way. I know he is your only true love and I will not get in your way with that." As he said that last sentence I winced. He misunderstood and said:

"No no, I mean what I wanted to say is that I do not want to lose your friendship over this either. I would rather have you in that capacity and that of an annoying younger sister, then nothing at all." He said with a small hopeful grin cocking his head to one side; hoping I would not cast him out of my life permanently.

I thought about it for a while, looking out into the gathering dark. Would things not be just too awkward now? But at the same time we had grown up together. I did not want to lose our friendship as I had mentioned it in Lorien to him. We have been through too much plus I could train with him which is something I needed to do urgently; considering what was coming upon us.

"I too do not want to lose your friendship. That means more to me than anything. You are my older brother. A royal pain but still that nonetheless." I said with a small smile.

"And I promise it will not be awkward. We know how the other feels and we can move on from that. I give you my word princess, I will move on from it and shall never cause you pain again." He bowed to me then and I hit him on the arm. He knew how much I hated to be called princess.

"Do not call me that."

"But you are such. You have to start getting used to it." He said seriously then.

"I know but let us take it slow. For starters, I need to train and do it hard. Will you help me?"

"Anything you need. Will you come back to Lorien with me?" He asked.

"I shall come back but in a few days, I have to clear up some things here first."

"I understand."

"Meanwhile, my family and I are having dinner, would you like to join us?" His eyes grew wide.

"Are you sure that would be proper?"

"Of course it will be. You are my brother after all, right?" I said winking at him.

With that we walked toward each other and hugged; after which we walked arm in arm into the main house where no one questioned my guest at the table. They just saw that at least a little part of me was happier then I had been for weeks. Happiness was hard to come by sometimes and considering what was to come, much much needed.