---- [Proof God is dead] ----

D: Barbara.
D: I know you're hiding Timmy in your dorm room.
B: wow. that's so incredibly rude.
B: you think i? am hiding? tommy?? in my room????? wow. how dare you. how dare you.
B: i'll have you know i have been an avid enjoyer of *looks at writing on his hand* caffeine dependency and ugly scrunches.
B: and- and frankly, dick, how do we know you're not hiding in my house? hmm? didn't think of that one, did you? check and mate, old man.

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T: Dickie gives off "oldest daughter" vibes and no I will not elaborate because I'm fucking right

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B: Imagine if biting people was a normalized reaction to people
K: So like knowing Timmy

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J: Dickie introducing Bruce and Wally and Roy: Walls, Roy, this is my adult
J: Dickie: adult, this is my Wally and Roy
J: Dickie, realizing: wait no– i meant... fuck. wait no! not fuck! i meant–
J: Wally and Roy: *both clutching one of Dickie's hands*
J: Wally and Roy, in sync and offering their free hands: hi, we're his Wally and Roy
B: As his childhood friend I can confirm this is how it happened

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D: Is he crying? Is he crying?
W: No
D: You should be WAILING, you stone-cold bitch!
R: What the fuck
W: Dickie is making me call Jay and tell him he's dead to see how he reacts

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W: since i don't know when i'm going to die, i've decided my entire life is just an ongoing crisis

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D: me when Bruce and Clark got married: Apperently we're getting a new brother
D: Timmy: Are we stealing them?
D: Jason: New or used?
K: I mean, technically-
D: For the last time, we didn't kidnap you!

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J: Someone at the coffee shop overheard Timmy's order and said "what the fuck just do cocaine"

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T: Do you think different paints have different tastes?
W: They do
T: ...why did you say that with such certainty?

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W: Roy, raising his voice slightly to a reasonable level so he can speak to Dickie down at the other end of the grocery store aisle: Do you want any chips?
W: Dickie, screaming: I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR DORITOS

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D: Babs: hello officer. i'm uhhh colorblind, i couldn't tell the light was red.
D: The cop: ok but you stole this car

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T: life hack: you dont have to be a wolf to yell sad noises at the moon.

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D: Can you tuck me in?
W: You just handed me a shovel
D: Yeah, just spread the dirt over me as evenly as you can, thanks

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B: Be the reason that you're haunted. Go someplace forbidden. Read something in an ancient language. Straight up fuck a demon.

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J: recipe says to beat three eggs
T: at what? Hand to hand combat?
D: must be. Alfred banned swords in the kitchen, remember?

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D: I remember when I met Roy and Wally and I was like "I really like this whole 'good guy, bad guy' thing you guys have going on" and Roy was like "It's not an act, it's just that I'm mean and Wally isn't"

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B: "I hate that guy"
B: - too general
B: - lacks fervour
B - meh
B: "I would eat his heart at the funeral" on the other hand
B: - specific
B: - actionable
B: - metal as fuck

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R: but soft, what brick through yonder window breaks

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B: Wait so, Jay, what was coming back from the dead like
J: I tried to kill all my friends
J: It was pogchamp
J: Then I cried

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K: favorite shit humans do is when someone gets them a wearable gift (i.e. jacket or jewelry, shirts, etc.) the human wears it around the other one that gave it to them and is like "notice! wore for you! look! look!!!" and then the other human is like "yes!! i see! you look nice :) i am happy i made you happy :)"

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W: GUYS PLEASE

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T: my entire life is just me thinking things only to find out Charles Bukowski has already said them
T: "I didn't have any friends at school, didn't want any. I felt better being alone. I sat on a bench and watched the others play and they looked foolish to me."
T: I see u
K: "I wasn't lonely. I experienced no self-pity. I was just caught up in a life in which I could find no meaning."
K: like damn dude ok me too
R: "Frankly, I was horrified by life, at what a man had to do simply in order to eat, sleep, and keep himself clothed. So I stayed in bed and drank. When you drank the world was still out there, but for the moment it didn't have you by the throat."
D: "And it seems people should not build houses anymore / it seems people should stop working and sit in small rooms / on second floors / under electric lights / without shades; / it seems there is a lot to forget /and a lot not to do / and in drugstores, markets, bars, / the people are tired, they do not want to move, and I stand there at night / and look through this house and the house does not want to be built"
W: "The problem was you had to keep choosing between one evil or another, and no matter what you chose, they sliced a little bit more off you, until there was nothing left. At the age of 25 most people were finished. A whole god-damned nation of assholes driving automobiles, eating, having babies, doing everything in the worst way possible, like voting for the presidential candidates who reminded them most of themselves. I had no interests. I had no interest in anything. I had no idea how I was going to escape. At least the others had some taste for life. They seemed to understand something that I didn't understand. Maybe I was lacking. It was possible. I often felt inferior. I just wanted to get away from them. But there was no place to go."
B: y'all are sleeping on "We don't even ask happiness, just a little less pain."

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W: Hey king ‼️I can't do this today <3

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B: Sure hope I do not get stabbed

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