---- [Proof God is dead] ----

R: all i did this year was sweat, stand there gayly, act out while wearing nothing but boxers and a t shirt and suffer tremendously

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T: can you believe will graham was a cop and then decided "fuck cops" and ran away with a serial killing cannibal. redemption arc

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D: Oh so now your free? Twenty minutes ago when I called a team meeting you were "busy"
R: I was busy, I was watching Brave

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R: yes I use violence as a coping mechanism. and what about it?

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B: Watching Jason interact with the people of the real world is so fucking hilarious because everyone's like "nice to meet you, I heard your fucking insane" and Jason's like "yeah :/"

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T: last night I dreamt that someone leaked Dickie's phone number to me and I was like Fuck What Do I Do so eventually I decided to text the number and I was like "hey I'm really sorry but if this is Dickie this is just a heads-up you should probably change your number because someone online is giving it out to randos" and he texted back "don't give me unsolicited advice"

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D: Me: i loved your performance at the oscars Timmy! You totally got robbed though
D: Timmy: Me? Robbed? I'm Afraid You Must Be Mistaken. I Checked My Person As Soon As I Arrived Home That Night And All My Possessions Were In Their Rightful Places. My Pocket Watch, My Embroidered Handkerchief From My Good Friends Etsy Online Store, The Small Birch Mouse Who Lives In My Pocket, My Satchet Of Lucky Beans, My Feather. Everything Was Right Where I Left It But Thank You For Your Concern.

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J: I'll have you know I was rooting for Mephistopheles and contemptuous of Faust
R: jason truly only had a small amount of function brain cells when he repressed every and all feelings he had for Tim. Once he stopped doing that, it was a free fall into intellectual oblivion
T: I'm gay AND dumb now

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B: cmon' don't be like that. What do we always say?
C: Keep your friends close (locked in the basement), but keep your enemies closer (imprisoned in a cursed amulet)
B: Exactly, so do that and you'll be fine

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T: if your happy and you know it, your even more removed from reality than we feared

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W: This is a good week to vanish mysteriously into the scrublands if anyone's interested

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T: What's your fortune cookie say Kon? :)
K: "Listen carefully to old friends this week. One has been replaced by an android; you can hear their cooling fan when they sit still."

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T: What'd you say? IVE BEEN GETTING BETTER, I GOT A 47 ON MY TRIG TEST

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D: Timmy do u wanna come over or are you watching x-files again?
T: Sometimes I just get obsessed with how lonely humans are, as a species. We see faces everywhere. We have stories about beings living in the things of our world that go back as long as we've been telling stories. We've been sending out songs and dances up to the sky for a millennia, and when we figured out there was something beyond our sky, we started sending songs out there too. We tell each other about fairies and bigfoot's and worlds lying under the skin of our own. We name robots and look for personally in code. We tamed dogs to have friends to hang out with and we dream about aliens. We see life everywhere. What is it, exactly, that we're trying to replace? What left us alone in the first place?

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B: Hey Timmy, how are exams going?
T: caffeine no longer keeps me awake so instead I have Jay periodically send me texts saying "we need to talk"
T: it gives me the right amount of fear and adrenaline to keep going

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C: How could you guys possibly get into so much trouble in one day?
D: it... it didn't take us the whole day

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W: Switching from a system of exploiting children's screams to exploiting children's laughter does not make you good guys, you are still exploiting child labour. Ethical capitalism doesn't exist

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T: Disrespect me again and I'll eat your shower curtains
W: We have glass doors?
T: crunchity munchity

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D: I hope you have the day you deserve :)
R: this is extremely threatening
W: that depends entirely on your actions, Roy
R: yes that's why I find it so threatening
R: this is essentially a death threat

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K: Tim, breathlessly: I need a copy of how to kill a mockingbird right fucking now
K: The librarian: whats the big hurr-
K: *a giant winged shadow shadow darkens the doorway*

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D: if a demon wants to talk to me, he's going to have to wait in line with everyone else

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T: I wake up. I consume media. I wish my life was different. I make no effort to change it. I consume media. I go to sleep.

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B: What the fuck is going on
B: literally like 5 random events just all happened in the last few hours

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W: Just realized there's nothing stopping me from drinking a lava lamp

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R: obsessed with the idea of reckless behavior crimes. got ticketed for reckless driving. arrested for reckless galloping. tried without jury for reckless bounding

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J: i am a calm man
T: *exists*
J: HOW FUCKING DARE YOU

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B: You are literally just some rat saying your silly little things on the internet
D: And look at my kingdom

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T: i started typing all important Wayne Enterprise reports in comic sans as a joke but nobody has the balls to say anything about it and suddenly it's been three years and everyone at WE uses comic sans now

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R: love characters who are superficially dumb-coded
W: always knew you were a narcissist
R: If you're gonna murder me on my own message do u wanna just take my name & social security number while your at it? Loot my body for the spoils of war? Go right ahead buddy I'm done this job is fucking thankless

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K: obsessed with the way Tim speaks in rpg dialogue options sometimes

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W: acorns and mushrooms i think are the most important life forms on this bitch of an earth be cause they got little hats send tweet
D: i see an acorn & im like thats baby. i see a mush room & im like Thats god

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W: [lawyer voice] mothers and fuckers of the jury-

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C: if anybody needs me I'll be acquiring skills

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