If I was asked how I felt to be a werewolf, with my human soul intertwined with that of a wild, near feral animal, I would describe it as what I imagined multiple personality syndrome disorder patients experienced. We existed like two separate consciences trapped within the same body. While we didn't fight each other for control, we were both capable of controlling that body, including its form. When I allowed Lumi to take complete control, I watched from the corners of my mind.

Correction, our mind.

After the slivers of truth about my brother and mother cut through my heart, I receded until I saw and felt nothing but black emptiness. I didn't know how it happened but I shut off my consciousness. Resigned myself into the dark shadows from where Lumi often hid, where she lived suppressed for at least four years, I saw and experienced nothing outside the nothingness I surrounded myself with.

Like a dreamless sleep, the stillness and quiet of infinite blackness offered a rush of relief. With nothing here, no nightmares or demons to confront, the sensation felt like a dreamless dream.

Unfortunately, like some dreams, the wakeup process was unpleasant. I didn't even forcibly wake myself up. Lumi's consciousness was thrust inside. Like a dreamspace, her form swirled past me, like two colors of dye mixed within a single pool of water. The ice blue of her eyes shone at me for a second, but one that felt like an eternity.

Lumi.

'Zara.'

I felt how she wanted to say more but, like an invisible muzzle placed on her thoughts, she vanished. My hands extended but a pulling sensation drew the darkness away. An invisible rope tethered around my waist and my limbs sagged under the strain that pulled me out.

Lumi!

"Zara," a jumbled, unfamiliar voice echoed in my ears.

"Mmm..." My eyes squeezed against a pounding headache sensation in my temples.

Blackness filled my vision but my other senses fired on overdrive. My skin tingled with a cold numbness, my body's muscles frozen and locked in place. Only my fingers and toes capably twitched. A sharp ring pierced my hearing like a direct line into my brain, wrenching my eyes tighter. A metallic scent filled my nostrils, coating my tongue with a dry, unpleasant taste.

"Miss Zara," the voice continued, which I recognized as a male's. "We need you to slowly, calmly wake up now. Open your eyes."

Although my eyelids felt as heavy as concrete, I pulled them open. My lashes fluttered wildly at the blurriness around the corners of my vision. My torso felt weighted, with a heavy object pressing me down. My muscles and joints ached, and thoughts within my brain seemed like they moved in slow motion. If it were possible, even my eyes felt heavy.

Blink after blink, the blurriness went away. A fuzzy figure in front of me, who spoke somewhat encouraging words for me to wake up, shifted from side to side. Eventually, the face of Alpha Fenris came into focus, surrounded by white walls.

"Miss Zara...." He paced back and forth, blurring his gray clothes. "Wake up slowly, carefully. I need you not to move"

My eyes stared at him. Numb and swollen, I couldn't feel my lips, and my mouth dry like I'd attempted a chubby bunny challenge but with cotton balls instead of marshmallows.

"If you hear me clearly now." He stopped and his dark eyes stared into mine. "Blink twice."

I blinked as he requested. My eyesight returned to normal, taking in four white walls and white tile floored room. Despite the dizziness throbbing between my eyes, my orientation felt upright but my entire body from the neck down felt numb and disconnected.

Why can't I move?

My brain wasn't functioning either. Thoughts formed slowly, took a lot of effort to process, and I couldn't feel...

Lumi?

My breath hitched in my lungs at the emptiness in my mind.

Lumi!? Why can't I -

"We have a problem, Miss Zara." Framed by his thick, black lashes, Alpha Fenris' eyes narrowed and his arms crossed over his chest. "Do you know what happened? Blink twice."

This time, my eyes didn't move. His shoulders and chest lifted with what sounded like a sigh and his fingers squeezed tightly into his upper arms. "The problem is, your wolf destroyed half of my research lab on this floor."

Even with my delayed reactions, a tremor of shock rippled through me. Goosebumps raised the fine hairs on the back of my neck.

Lumi?

"We tried to contain her within the examination room, but she was stronger than we were aware," he continued. "Fortunately, they were on a low production cycle, but she caused quite a bit of damage to our pathology department."

I barely registered Fenris' words from how hard my mind strained. Reaching for my wolf I stumbled within the confines of my own mind.

Lumi!?

Why aren't you answering? What did they do to you, Lumi?

Despite how my arms felt like lead weights, I attempted to move them. A tingling sensation tickled down my shoulders to elbows, into my wrists, then palms of my hands. My hands flinched, met with a hot restriction that seared into my skin. A hiss escaped my dry mouth and my movements stilled.

"I wouldn't do that if I were you." Alpha Fenris frowned. "Unless you'd like silver burn marks on other places of your body, Miss Zara."

Despite my fuzzy thoughts, I attempted to reach out to the only two people I could mindlink.

'Elena? Cole?'

'Anyone? Help me!!'

My plea was met with stoned silence. Moving my eyes moved around to my peripheral vision limits pulsed them with strain, like they swelled larger out their sockets, when he continued his pacing back and forth.

"The problem is, we have our pack's outdoor ceremony in two days and my guest of honor seems like she's not appreciative of our hospitality." Alpha Fenris ran his hands over his short, black hair and spoke down to the floor instead of directing his voice to me. "I've taken the liberty and contacted your father -"

My mouth twitched to respond but again the dry restraint prevented sounds from forming in my vocal chords.

"Don't try to speak, Miss Zara. Under his permission, we've got you quite subdued. The silver nitrate and wolfsbane should keep your unstable wolf at rest for the next three days, so don't try to shift into her form either."

"The tranquilizers restraining your human form will wear off over the next twelve hours. You have two options. We can put you under a medically induced coma for the next three days if you don't want to cooperate, upon which your father will collect you."

The tickle of tears pricked the corners of my eyes but I felt nothing when they tipped over the edge of my eyelids and trailed down my cheeks.

"Or..." his expression softened. "You can spend the next two days within your room, smile, and exchange pleasantries at the ceremony."

Leaning forward, his face approached so close that his eyes blurred from view. "You will not engage with a single member of my pack without my permission. You will say nothing about this lab or attempt to leave your security escorts. In three days, Tobias and Meredith will escort you to the Central Territory. Your father will proceed how he sees fit."

Neither option, placating his wishes or sleeping in a coma, sounded ideal. Both delayed the inevitable wrath from my father.

While I knew nothing that happened after I closed my eyes, Alpha Fenris flashed up a small tablet screen in front of my eyes. Lumi's white form snarled and thrashed violently. As fast as white streaks, her jaws and claws tore through room after room. Electric sparks lit up the dark rooms as she disconnected and destroyed machines, overturned office furniture, and shattered glass storage containers.

Between the crashes of destruction, screams echoed in the background.

"Blink once for your first option, twice for the second." Alpha Fenris flipped the screen off with a jab of his finger. "I won't offer again."

More tears tingled my eyes before they slipped out, their sensations disappearing as they hit my cheeks. With the only movement I had control over, my eyes blinked twice.

"So be it," were his last muttered words before a cloak of darkness surrounded me.

"Zara?" A soft female voice echoed in my ears, accompanied by a gentle shake on my shoulders.

A groan vibrated my lips.

My lips? My... shoulders? I felt that!

My eyes flipped open as waves of panic sizzled through my body, locking me up stiff as a corpse. Blinking up at the ceiling, I wheezed raspy breaths. After my stomach clenched, my body tensed, and I shot up to a seated position. Taking in the interior space of my guest bedroom in the packhouse, I looked down to where I laid in bed under the covers, dressed in my pajamas.

A warm pat on my shoulders brought my eyes up to a concerned, familiar pair of hazel eyes. They blurred under the hot tears that rose in mine.

"Elena." I gasped and flung my arms around her.

My shoulders and spine shook with the sharp, violent sobs that ravaged through me. Raspy breaths heaved in and out of my chest when her arms tightened around me.

"Shh..." she whispered, one palm rubbing over my upper back. "Are you hurt, Zara?"

"I... don't think so?" I paused, then did an internal check. My fingers and toes wiggled and my head felt much clearer, but...

Lumi?

Still nothing.

"Fine, except I can't even feel Lumi." I bumped my palm against my forehead like that would shake her back into consciousness, which of course didn't. "Why... can't I feel her?"

"My guess is you got a dose of whatever they gave you for years suppressing her." Elena's voice was thick and strained, like she fought to say those words. Her eyes narrowed and she pressed her lips together, then released them.

Rubbing my forehead, I whispered, "What happened?"

"Rose and I were in the hospital wing when the alarms went off," she explained with a sigh, sagging her shoulders. "Everyone who wasn't a critical patient or emergency staff member, so anyone who wasn't Dr. Edwards, were escorted out."

Her eyes glossed over with tears as her hand moved from my back to my head, where it stroked over my hair. "I tried to mindlink you but it was like a blocked wall. I was so concerned."

"But you're okay?" My eyes shifted over her appearance.

Over the past couple of days, she'd gotten more of the color in her skin and less saggy appearance, but she still looked thin and tired. Dark gray circles pressed depressions around her eyes.

"I'm fine. Baby's fine." One of her hands moved over her lower abdomen and a smile tugged across her pale lips. "Wiggling around today."

My chest lifted and fell as I breathed a slow, deep breath. "That's good. Can you reach Cole?"

"Barely, they're a bit far away but yesterday I told him to wrap up whatever they're doing immediately. Apparently they just got started but it's going faster than they'd anticipated but not something that anyone wants rushed."

"I understand," I mumbled while my fingers traced random patterns on the comforter over my lap. "Wait... yesterday?"

''You've been out for sixteen hours Zara. What do you remember?' Her eyes shifted to the closed doorway while she moved the conversation private. 'They've got guards outside your door. They let me in, but they're watching us, so best to keep it between us.'

My head and shoulders leaned away from her, and rested against the headboard. The view of Elena's concerned expression blurred from view as my eyes slid closed. Drawing my knees up, I clasped my hands and clenched my thighs around them.

"It's bad..." I whispered. "Beyond bad."

After a few deep breaths, I rehashed everything I remembered via mindlink. Everything.

She said nothing but didn't hide her reactions. Her skin paled at first mention of my lab information on Simon's tablet and her lips trembled when I spoke about Solomon's past here. Ghostly white, her mouth dropped into a silent gasp and her hands fisted the blanket when I described the vaccinations. Both our eyes filled with tears when we got to the last part, about my mother's true passing.

'The last thing I remember before I woke up and couldn't move was the room where... they...' I couldn't even think the thought before tears dribbled out my eyes. Tightness coiled in my chest, suffocating my lungs like a vice.

"Oh, Zara," Elena whispered as a lone tear made a similar path down her cheek.

"It's, umm... is what it is." I hugged my knees into my chest, then rounded my spine and rested my forehead against them.

"For someone who's been trapped inside a mansion for most of their life," she continued in a raspy whisper. "You've been dealt an usually large amount of cruelty."

My head stayed pressed against my knees, muffling my voice, "Lucky me."

'The genetics thing though...' At her thoughts, I lifted my head right when her eyes widened. 'It's not your fault but someone has to do something.'

''It kinda is my fault.' I tilted my head back and fixated my sheepish eyes on hers. 'I don't know how I blacked out during it, but guess Lumi did a number on their pathology department.'

'It's a start.' Her mouth twitched, but not into a smile. 'The entire building should be burned to the ground for what Alpha Fenris is doing.'

'Fenris is a puppet,' I relayed what I suspected since arriving here.

While I was relieved he hadn't punished me in the short-term, by his hand or Alpha Fenris', no part of me wanted another confrontational punishment from my father.

I wasn't sure about Tobias or Meredith's angle, but one thing was obvious. 'Again, my father pulls the strings.'

She leaned back and propped her weight onto her palms. 'Hopefully not for much longer.'

I studied her clouded expression for a moment. Her eyes darkened and her mouth set in a firm line. 'What do you know?'

'Only that we need to get you out of here as soon as we can.' She reached over and smoothed a few strands of hair off my forehead. Without a blink, she added, 'We will, trust me.'

I swallowed at the intensity burning in her eyes. 'What do I do until then?'

'What you've been doing so well since we've been here,' was her simple response. 'Play the part.'

Recoiling, my head bumped against the headboard. The contact rolled vibrations down the back of my neck. My fingers coiled at her suggestion, which strained my wrists and forearms. Dipping my chin down to my chest, my eyes closed and shoulders slacked. My feet twitched with the desire I put as much distance as possible between me and this wretched pack. The horrors they hid behind a veil of wealth and opulence sickened my stomach, almost as much as how they bent to my father's bidding with no sense of moral backbone.

'We'll get you out of here, Zara.' Elena's hand patted my forearm. 'I promise.'

I rolled my lower lip under my teeth and nodded.

'I trust you.'