This is horrible.

The smell of bleach-based cleaners, antiseptics, and sterility twitched my nose while I stood in between the end of two hospital beds. My chin tipped low as my eyes took in my two unconscious friends.

I don't know who looks worse.

Raina's body was battered, bruised, and covered with dried mud and bandaged cuts, like she'd been through a war battle. Her swollen, closed eyelids fluttered rapid bats of her lashes. I wondered what thoughts ran wild through her brain at that moment.

Elena, however, looked drained and lifeless. Her bouncy brown curls hung in limp strings on either side of her hollowed cheeks. Her skin was pale, except for dark circles pressed around her eyes, and looked like it sagged off her body. The bones in her collarbone protruded and her cheeks looked more like a skeleton's.

Since the moment I arrived at the hospital, Cole hadn't left her side. He was quiet, although the storm in his eyes said internally he struggled as he dealt with her condition. He clasped both of her hands in his and mindlinked her over and over. Every few minutes, his lips trembled or twitched slightly.

I turned away the moment he laid his head over her sunken abdomen. Even in a shared recovery room, I invaded their privacy.

The Western territory's hospital, attached to the medical and pharmaceutical research lab through a glass-covered walkway, was renovated but the room we were in looked like any other standard recovery room. Soft tan walls enclosed two standard beds, separated by an overhead sheet, and guest chairs sat on each bed's side. A set of large, expansive windows showed the impressive mountains around us.

Over the past hour here, a slow burn of anger and guilt had built up in me. My emotions surged up from nonexistence to searing my tongue to escape. The pent up sensation burning my veins increased the longer silence hung around us, thickening the airspace. Only the rhythmic beeps of monitor machines broke through, in an alternating, exchanged conversation.

As I walked over to Raina's bedside, I knelt down. Taking her nearby hand in mine, I placed the back of it against my cheek. Her skin was warm but her movements were still, except her fluttering lashes.

Hot tears pooled in my eyes and spilled over my cheeks. "It should've been me."

At my whispered words, Cole's head snapped up and his eyes narrowed. "No."

My eyes stayed fixated on Rain's face as I objected, "If it meant my friends hadn't gotten hurt -"

"They knew the risks," he reminded me in a monotone but steady voice.

I couldn't imagine what went through his head but he sounded on autopilot. My tired eyes stared over Raina at him for a moment, impressed by his selflessness. His mate laid unconscious because of me and he didn't have any emotion except remorse.

Guess I don't know as much about Cole as I thought.

In particular, he wasn't angry. He hadn't lashed out, or blamed me when he had every right to.

I don't deserve his friendship.

I laid Raina's hand by her side, then stepped over to the large window and cupped my palms around my elbows. The view of gray and white rock peaks dotted with dark evergreen trees blurred from my vision.

Lumi offered a soft whine in the back of my mind. She obviously felt my emotions since I couldn't keep them in check, but stayed silent until now.

'Friends.'

Yeah and my friends are hurting because of me.

'No, Zara. My friend.'

I don't think we have a choice, Lumi. We're kinda stuck with each other.

She snuffed at me, which I'd come to realize was her way of rolling her eyes at me. My lips twitched at my ruining that moment.

But thanks. I'm glad I have you.

"It happens." Cole released himself from Elena's side and joined me at the window. "There's always casualties in war."

"War." I exhaled the word, forming a cloud of condensation on the window. I watched it evaporate. "Is that where we're headed?"

"That's the direction and preparations some packs are taking." His steady tone filtered into my left ear. No part of him sounded in favor or against that idea, remaining neutral like he stated a fact.

"Like the South?" I turned to Cole, bearing my shoulder's weight on the window, and stared at him.

His brown eyes were darker, but clouded over. After a closer look, he wasn't in a mindlink, but lost within his own thoughts.

He reached over and grabbed my upper arms in his palms. 'Not the place to discuss this, Princess.'

I hadn't forgotten about all of those security detail warriors who died protecting us. While serving my father's interests was their duty, their ultimate sacrifice felt in vain, and discomfort chewed inside my stomach like acid.

'I should hand myself over to the rogues, if it prevents more people from getting hurt or killed.'

'Princess, then everything we're working toward goes to shit-'

As Cole's expression and grip on my arms hardened with tension, the room's door flung open. Cole released me like a hot potato as a doctor in a white lab coat and teal colored scrubs walked inside.

His gray eyes, eerily similar to his hair color, shifted between his patients in bed and Cole and I. "Everything good here?"

"We're hoping that's the news you have for us, Doctor..." I stepped closer, extending one hand.

"Dr. Edwards." His eyes dropped down to my hand as if he were surprised, but he shifted the clipboard he held and shook my hand.

His eyes shifted to Cole momentarily, then paused back on mine. They held weight in them, like he asked an unspoken question of whether or not I was okay. I looked back to Raina, then over to Elena.

I wonder if they felt as helpless seeing me in a similar state.

"Ahh, a Miss -" Dr. Edwards flipped over the top page on his clipboard and his eyes scanned over it quickly. "Raina has a mild concussion at this point. Initial scans have shown that's already healed, so she should wake up in a few hours. Her body took quite a beating but she's young and healthy, maybe a few scars but she'll live to tell the story."

At that news, I exhaled a breath I didn't realize I clenched inside my lungs.

Dr. Edwards paused when he flipped the page over again. "Miss Elena, however, she is in pretty rough shape... for altogether different reasons."

"What's wrong?" My eyes glanced over Elena, who looked less beaten up than Raina. She had minor scratches or bruises, more looking like life had been drained from her.

She'd also mindlinked us... So she has to be okay. Please be okay, Elena.

"Symptom-wise, she's extremely dehydrated and almost malnourished."

"She's been... sick for about a week," Cole confessed as his eyes shifted to Dr. Edwards. "She was sick in the car. Can you give her something for that?"

"Of course." Dr. Edwards jotted on his clipboard. "I'd like to run some tests, including bloodwork to make sure it's not an infection."

His eyes traveled to Cole, who nodded. Dr. Edwards nodded, then exited the room and left us back in silence.

An hour later, in a flurry of activity, a phlebotomist and ultrasound technician came into the room. At the increased voices in the room, a groan escaped from Raina's lips. I rushed over to her bedside, slipped my hand in hers, and gave her a small squeeze.

"Even that hurts," she moaned in a dry, cracked voice.

"Shh, Raina," I shushed her. "I'll get you some water. Stay here."

As I leapt up and rounded the foot of her bed, I caught a muttered, "Where the fuck would I go."

A wide smile stretched across my face as I left their room and walked down a sterile white hallway. I passed by room after room until the hallway ended perpendicular to another one. A nearby sign indicated vending machines on the left and the research lab on the right.

I followed the left hallway until I found vending machines that hummed, got a cup of ice water, then rushed back to Raina. By the time I returned, Dr. Edwards followed me.

"Here..." I pushed the button on the side of Raina's bed and inclined her.

She groaned, but fluttered her eyes open. She blinked until the haze lifted off her eyes and she shifted. I passed the cup of water to her outstretched hands. With shaky fingers, she tipped her head and drank the entire contents, including the crushed ice cubes.

"Save your voice," I told her as she passed the cup back to me. "If you want more then nod."

She shook her head but leaned back against her bed pillows and closed her eyes. I patted her hand, then glanced up at Elena.

A quick shudder rippled through my shoulders and upper back at the sight of six vials of blood resting on a small metal cart near Elena's bedside, as the phlebotomist bandaged up the inside of her left elbow. Cole's hand intertwined with her free hand and his eyes glazed over with a mindlink.

The sounds of movement and machinery beeping directed my attention to an ultrasound technician. The short, plump woman with black hair pulled into a tight bun at the nape of her neck wheeled a small screen on a portable cart to the end of Elena's bed, then faced it away from me and Cole's line of vision.

"Check for some internal damage," Dr. Edwards assured us.

After the technician rolled up Elena's hospital gown and applied some conduit liquid onto her exposed ribs, she rolled the wand around per Dr. Edward's directional instructions. She went over Elena's entire torso, stopping around her liver and kidneys for additional scans. His fingers jotted absent notes on his clipboard papers for Elena's chart, but his gaze never wavered from the screen.

"I see," he murmured, then nodded at the ultrasound tech. She removed the wand, cleaned off Elena, and exited with her equipment and head tucked down. Dr. Edwards hit a button on the screen, which printed off a small report.

His face was stone still when his eyes shifted over and locked on Cole's. With a silent tip of Dr. Edward's chin, Cole left Elena's side and followed him out the room. After a few silent, uncomfortable minutes where I rubbed Elena's cold forearm, Cole came back inside.

I almost fell over at the tears glistening in his eyes. A small piece of white paper dangled from his fingertips, fluttering to his side when he stopped. Stopping at the end of Elena' bed, he stood as still as a statue, his eyes wide and lips parted. His skin was so pale, I shot up to my feet.

"Cole?" I rushed closer, then squeezed his biceps with my palms. The movement snapped him out of his trance and his eyes dragged to mine.

"Elena..." he croaked out her name, then paused as if his throat swallowed his words.

I frowned as hundreds of thoughts, each possibility worse than its predecessor, flooded my mind. He kept his vacant, unblinking stare, so I shook his arms until his head bobbed. "Elena what!? Is she -"

The small movement of the corners of his lips curled up interrupted my words. I fell silent, my lips remaining parted.

As if in slow motion, his face shifted. Lightness filled the dark that hung in his eyes since we arrived here. His smile grew into a full-sized beam, radiating a happiness I'd never seen him express before.

"...is pregnant."

Elena's blood work confirmed two aspects of her health. First, she was pregnant, approximately seven weeks based on the ultrasound. Second, her low iron, vitamin D, and potassium levels indicated she suffered from a condition that Dr. Edwards rambled off but I missed.

Even better, she woke up overnight. Physically, Elena showed no improvement but her eyes were open and her dry, cracked lips wore a slight smile when she saw me and beamed at Cole. Once I went back to the packhouse for a few hours of sleep, I returned with her beloved chapstick, a few pairs of pajamas, and of course a gigantic stack of books.

"Zara..." She patted my back when I pressed in for a hug.

Cole hadn't left her side since the ultrasound technician had given him a blurry black and white picture that resembled a gummy bear. I, on the other hand, had gotten my bearings while I wandered around the hospital and tracked down the cafeteria for him.

"So happy to see you're okay," I whispered, stepping back and shoving Cole a bag that held a hot sandwich.

He nodded, tucking the back under his elbow. Frowning, he asked Dr. Edwards, "What does she have again?"

"Hyperemesis gravidarum. It's severely bad morning sickness," he explained while he injected medication into her IV line. "In addition to as many saline bags as she'll take, I'm giving her unisom, vitamins B-six and B-twelve, and lots of rest. She'll be fine in a couple of days but I want to keep her here for a few days of monitoring."

"Did I hear some exciting news?" An excited voice squealed from outside the room.

All our heads swiveled in the direction of a tired, battered, and happy couple.

"Rose! Idris!" I leapt forward and grabbed each into a big hug. Upon inspection, they had a few healed over cuts and bruises, nothing like Raina's battlescars.

Idris pulled back a step, then shifted his gaze to Raina. "Okay there?"

"Yeah," she muttered, pouting because two nurses already told her she wasn't ready to be released.

"Good." He nodded. "If it was anyone else, my ass would get skinned for you being the Alpha's daughter."

"Fortunately for you," she joked with a gleam in her dark eyes. "I'm me."

"You guys look good." I ran my eyes over their appearance but they looked tired. Absent the blood smeared over her, Rose was also back to her long, auburn waves.

"We got discharged today." Idris squeezed his arm around Rose's waist, tucking her chin into his shoulder. "Although, I think the nurses got tired of someone's persistent questions."

"Hush." Rose patted her palm on his chest before she winked at me with her lower lip extended in a teasing pout. "Zara, the worst thing that happened is they took my wig. I enjoyed being a blonde."

At that, we all burst out into a much needed laughter. Even Elena giggled and settled down against Cole, who inhaled his sandwich in loud gulps.

The sight of everyone's smiles, reuniting with teasing jabs at each other, I sagged into the doorway. With the positive vibe in the room, my lower lip trembled and the vision of happy reunions around me blurred. The relief in seeing my friends were okay chipped a tiny crack into the rock of guilt that had weighed on my chest ever since Alpha Fenris informed us we arrived first.

"Zara?" Elena looked at me as my fingertips dragged over my damp eyes.

"You're pregnant!" I deflected the attention with a clap of my hands. She and Cole looked at me, then each other, as if the news hadn't fully sunk in yet.

"If it's a girl..." I drawled. "Zara is my vote for a name."

Cole's eyes narrowed at me. "Princess."

"Zara means princess," I teased.

"Congratulations. On that note..." Raina grumbled, wincing as she shifted her legs over the side of her bed. "I'm outta here."

"Wait!" I dashed over to her bedside and pinned down her shoulders so she stayed seated on her bed. "The doctor said one more day for you to rest."

"I can rest when I'm dead." She glared at me, then shifted her heated gaze to her own IV line. "Which I'm not. I let you hug me once I woke up, hands off."

I held up my palms. "At least tell us what happened before you go tearing out your IV."

"Not much to tell. That one over there." Raina jerked her thumb at Elena. "Stopped every few hours to puke on the side of the road. Understandably, Idris and Rose's group passed us after about ten hours."

"I'm sorry," Elena looked down at her lap.

"No one thinks it's your fault." I turned and smiled. "Blame Baby Zara, but not yourself."

"Zara," Cole's voice snapped at me, but I threw him a sweet 'I'll say it however many times until it sinks in' look at him. He rolled his eyes, then nodded at Raina. "When did the rogues attack?"

"Right when we crossed over from the Central territory into the West," was her grumbled response. "They took out three cars before we realized what happened."

My heart stung at the idea of how many security guys were affected by her admission.

They didn't deserve that.

"They pinned us down between the side of a mountain and an overhang. I took a few of them down but -" Raina gestured to her battered body. "Obviously not enough. Once they found Elena, they abandoned us. I didn't make it much further after they left when I passed out but guess we limped the rest of the way here."

"Did you recognize any of them?" My eyes were as wide as saucers.

My thoughts traveled to the rogue, or the weird blonde guy I imagined when stoned out of my mind in the Eastern territory.

Couldn't be the same ones... Could it?

Raina shook her dark-haired head, then frowned. "No. There were roughly twenty, but they didn't attack in wolf form though which, for lack of better words, dragged things out."

"Did you..." My voice trailed off at the idea Raina had fought them in human form, but she cut me off.

"Nope. I shifted. Tore into as many as I could but there were too many at that point." Her eyes darkened and she clenched her jaw. "They tied me to the other vehicle when they found Elena. Beyond pissed off when they found she wasn't you, Flower."

"I'm so sorry," I whispered to Elena.

Hugging her arms around her stomach, she threw me a small smile. One look back at Raina showed her bored expression.

"Part of the job description, I guess," she mumbled as her shoulders lifted. "Now, if you'll excuse me, I'd like to get the hell out of this hospital bed. Mist is going insane, clawing at the inside of my mind for some fresh air."

"I'll go with you," I offered. "Only if you rest today in the packhouse."

"Me too," Idris offered. His gaze softened at Rose when he asked, "You'll be okay?"

"Of course," she smiled and pressed her lips into his. I smiled but Raina gagged, so she pulled back and informed us, "Dr. Edwards is going to show me around the hospital, their new equipment and medicines."

"I can't go anywhere without Dad-to-be in charge of security." Raina scowled at Cole. "But Idris and I can meet with Alpha Fenris, to coordinate that mine retrieval expedition asap."

"Thanks." Cole offered her a smile, making no attempt to budge from Elena's side.

With one yank of her fingers and a low grunt, Raina pulled out her IV line. My eyes fluttered at the blood that trailed out, dripping over the inside of her elbow.

Stepping closer, Rose gasped, "Don't do that!"

She got one step before Idris caught her shoulders with a chuckle. Raina slid out of bed with a low grumble, looked around the room, then scowled. "Where the hell are my clothes?"

"They, umm..." I started, scratching my head. "Threw them away. They were pretty dirty. Sorry, I would've brought some of your clothes but all your luggage was locked."

"Then I'm keeping these." Raina slipped a pair of hospital booties over her bare feet and padded to the door in her back-tied hospital gown. "And I don't give a damn if I flash my bare ass on the walk back if it means getting out of here."

"Wait! I'm... glad you're awake," I tossed to Elena and followed behind Raina, whose gown fluttered open. "Cole, mindlink me if you're leaving, I'll come back and stay here."

Cole nodded and I hid the bright smile threatening to crack my face at his tender look at Elena, leaned over, and pressed his lips against hers.

I still couldn't resist adding, 'Make sure you pull that privacy curtain shut if needed.'

'Goodbye, Zara.'

The Western territory's rugged mountain beauty surrounded us as Raina, Idris, and I walked back to the packhouse. Neither could have cared less about the gray peaks that formed a natural protective backdrop, keeping their heads down and eyes fixated on the ground. Every few steps they mindlinked each other, with identically sullen expressions.

I broke up the silence with a cough. "What's wrong?"

"It's our mindlink," Raina muttered, rubbing her forehead. "Mine is so weak and now limited to my family. Idris can only link with his father."

"Oh..." My face fell as I realized the impact of this.

Physically, we were much closer to the Northern territory border, so a logical assumption would be that their mindlink would be stronger. "But you can link each other?"

"Like normal." Idris' eyebrows squeezed together.

"My father is so distant," Raina muttered. Even with her eyes cast down, I saw concern in them. "He's planning something. I don't know what. I can feel it but he's blocking it from me."

"Is Lucus okay?" I asked.

"As far as I know," was her response.

"All I've heard is that my father said they've amp'd up their warrior training." Idris sighed. "Arlo's never been busier. We're surprised that they hadn't called us back up but Faelon wants those mines recovered."

The three of us fell into silence and walked through the front of the packhouse doors. A heaviness filled my heart because I got the sense that both of them returned to the Northern territory once their task was done. I walked them to their separate rooms, where we parted and agreed to meet up again at dinner.

After my bedroom door closed behind me, my chest lifted and fell with a slow sigh. My friends' safety and health was most important to me, but I couldn't shake the sense of guilt from how many others along the journey here hadn't been so lucky.

I didn't even know most of the security guys' names.

I can't make this trip in vain. It's affecting so many more than me now.

A knock on my door interrupted my thoughts. I opened it to Meredith. Her black hair was pulled into a bun on the top of her head, putting her scowl on full display.

Before my lips parted to greet her, she grumbled, "I've been sent to fetch you for dinner."

"Fetch?" My blonde eyebrows lifted at the odd choice of words.

"That's what it feels like, so come on." She turned and left me in the doorway.

After I blinked at her retreating steps, I shut the door behind me and hurried after her.

I followed her down the hallway, to a small, eight-seat dining room. The cozy space was a sharp contrast to the North's large hall setting, where the entire pack ate family-style, or large, open kitchen with all-day access in the East.

Alpha Fenris and Luna Diana stood with Tobias near one end of the table. While his parents offered polite smiles, Tobias wore a similar expression to his sister's as she joined them and looked like she wanted to be anywhere but here.

Makes three of us.

Alpha Fenris' dining room was as lovely and sterile as the rest of his packhouse. The black-and-white tiled floors continued through the space, and two crystal chandeliers hung over the center of a dark wood table. The walls were bare except for one abstract black and white painting on one wall and a silver-gilded mirror on another.

"Tobias is quite talented." Luna Diana caught my gaze lingering on the expressive, near tortured strokes of paint upon the canvas.

"You did that?" Not that I expected a kind reaction, but he deserved the truth. "It's beautiful."

If I ever had a way to describe shifting into wolf form, then that's it.

I got no reaction, unless his perma-scowl counted. My footsteps slowed to a complete stop when I saw five place settings at the table.

Oh boy. At least I have you, Lumi.

She didn't answer, of course. I swallowed against the dryness creeping up my throat as Luna Diana nodded at a single setting on one end of the table by itself. I sat down and they clustered around the other end. While the table was much smaller, the setup felt similar to when I ate with my father.

And not in a good way.

As if Alpha Fenris read my thoughts, he cleared his own throat. "I heard from your father. He's pleased with your unscathed arrival and I assured him that you're under good care."

His words froze my thoughts like my brain was plunged into icy water, since I knew every word was a lie. Not that Alpha Fenris himself lied but passed along what I now identified as false information. Instead of speaking, I nodded before I realized how rude that must have looked.

"Y-yes," I sputtered. "I can't thank you enough for the amazing care for my friends."

"Duly noted," he replied curtly, before his eyes narrowed slightly. "You'll forgive me for the absence of Miss Raina and Mister Idris tonight. We prefer to keep our dining party quite small. I will meet with them later, of course. In a few days, Tobias will accompany them and Mister Cole to the Northern border."

"I understand." Sadly, I did. "That's my father's preference, so I'm quite used to small dinner parties."

My words earned me a bigger smile on his face, as if I touched upon a personal admission.

"Tomorrow Tobias -" Scowl number one on his left nodded and wrenched his fist around his silverware. "- will escort you to the silver mines and weapons range. Then Meredith -" Scowl number two patted her napkin on her lap. " - will give you a personalized tour of the research lab. The pharmaceutical manufacturing company is in an off-season, so as long as you're escorted then you shall have access to whatever your father sees fit to be inspected."

Him again.

"Thank you," my voice croaked out the words. "I appreciate how accommodating your pack and family have been. As does... my father."

Alpha Fenris nodded, then shifted his eyes to his family. "In trying times, we must all focus on strong alliances to protect our pack's best interests."

While every part of me wanted to choke myself at his words, I tipped up my water glass and forced a tight smile.

This is going to be a long trip.