Fuck.

This was awkward. And it should probably be embarrassing, but it wasn't? It just felt like a remarkably intimate thing.

Intimate. No. No! No! No! Stop!-

"I don't want to! Please don't do this! Stop!"

I crumpled to the floor, my arms crossed over my chest, tears streaming down my face as the flashback faded away. Then I felt his hand on my shoulder, something that made me flinch away violently.

"Calm down, breathe, I won't hurt you, Sam." his voice, the sound of his voice, so handsome, so masculine, so much like a guy's. Like that guys.

"D-Don't-"

"Would I be able to better aid you as a female? I recognize what you are feeling."

I didn't have time to answer as I heard a shimmer like little bells jingling.

A hand rested on my cheek, my head still down, sobbing at the floor. I almost flinched away again until I felt the gentle feminine nails on my face, the nimble, soft fingers wiping away my tears.

A dominant but soft voice filled my ears, the sound coming from Loki's mouth. I looked up to see the most beautiful face I'd ever seen on a woman. Her jawline so sharp, her eyes so vibrantly blue, her hair the same as before, but my god, those cheekbones.

"Are you alright, dear? We don't have to address it but I need you to be safe if you are to be left alone."

Fear bubbled up in my chest, the thought of being alone was terrifying right now. I just wanted someone to be close, to comfort me, but I certainly needed that shower.

That's why my words came out without thinking about them first.

"Then don't, don't leave me alone, please, stay with me."

I put my hand delicately laid over her's in an instant, the buttery smooth skin against mine being such a comfort.

She was tall for a woman, holy shit, she could throw me across a room, couldn't she? What an amazing protector.

"Are you sure you are okay with that? I don't want to subject you to something so intimate after what just happened if it could have negative effects."

I nodded quickly, sure of myself.

"I'll start the water. Do you mind if it isn't as hot as you would normally use it? I'm a tad sensitive to direct heat, that and it would help you after a panic attack."

I nodded again and turned away, getting undressed the rest of the way. A small hiss coming from my lips when I took off my binder.

Shit, I was bruising.

I decided to focus more on the fact I was covered in bruises rather than the fact that I was about to be taking a shower, naked, with a goddess and god both in one.

Well, can't back out now.

Loki was already in the shower, waiting for me I assumed.

I stepped into the shower slowly, gazing upon her damp face, the glow of her skin, the way she looked so perfect. Time felt like it stopped. My eyes trailed down her soft neck, following the water down her collarbone and her breast. I wanted to embrace her so badly, but her voice brought me back to reality.

"If you wanted a show, you could just ask, Dear."

My cheeks flushed and only then did the temperature of the water hit me. It was slightly warm, something about it reminding me of the temperature of a pool in summer. Just cool enough to not bother her but just warm enough to keep me from discomfort.

"Can I...?"

She seemed to read my mind, handing me the shampoo with a nod.

"Go ahead."

I put some in my hands, lathering them up before smoothing it into her scalp, my hands weaving gently through her hair with ease. I guess she liked it because she returned the favor, her hands in my hair.

It ended up escalating slightly, washing each other tenderly, admiring each other and whispering sweet reassurances to the other.

When we got out, Loki looked as relaxed as I felt, the white towels around us both at the chest.

I tried not to remind myself of the bruises as I looked in the mirror, brushing my teeth.

"Do you have any allergies?"

Well, that was interesting. Wait? What are my allergies? Oh, yeah, I can't eat peanuts.

"Peanuts. You?"

"Nothing. I was simply curious. I'll be in my sleeping cha- er, bedroom, reading your books if you need my assistance."

I nodded, washing out my mouth and heading to my room.

Laying in bed, I remembered the whole showering experience, the feeling of her skin, the sweet way she caressed my sides with slippery hands. I'd mapped out her whole body in my mind with a couple of exceptions. That's what I thought of as I drifted off to sleep.