Chapter Twenty-Five

You know that saying, 'the grass is always greener on the other side?' I think that can be applied to relationships, too.

This entire time I had been comparing Harry and I to Niall and Lizzie and their amazing relationship, how I thought that they never fought and they worked so well together. Even Zayn and Perrie or Liam and Avery, I would parallel us to them and look at how perfect they were together, and then there was me and Harry and our insanity. Of course it never seemed as good, everything looks shiny and beautiful from the outside. 

I learned something from Lizzie's little speech, though. Harry and I would never be them. We were always going to be different than everyone else and their seemingly perfect relationships. I guess I already knew that, but now I knew that was okay. It was okay not to be perfect and it was okay for our relationship, or whatever you wanted to call it, to be different than theirs. Just because it didn't seem as good on paper, didn't mean that it wasn't perfect in its own special way.

And besides, we had no idea what went on behind closed doors.  For all we knew, everyone else could be just as crazy as us. Maybe we were just more open about it.

*****

Lizzie and I were catching up on this week's episode of Bake Off when we heard a knock at the door. 

"Come in," I yelled, wondering who it was. It definitely wasn't Harry, Niall, or Louis, who were liable to barge right in without asking. 

Liam strolled his way into our hotel room, hands in his pockets. He sat down on my bed and looked at the both of us with a coy smile. "You guys wanna come somewhere with me?" he asked.

"Where?" Lizzie replied without looking away from her laptop. I saw the orange background and figured she must have that amateur writing website up again.

"Oh, nowhere. Just to pick up Avery from the airport." He grinned at the both of us while we sprung to life, jumping up in excitement. Avery, Liam's girlfriend, was probably the sweetest person to ever live, and we both adored her. We had gotten to know her since she didn't live too far away from us, and she was a frequent guest at Casa de Ally/Lizzie/Niall. We were more than ecstatic at the chance to see her again.

Liz and I simultaneously grabbed pillows and started thwacking Liam with them. "Why didn't you tell us she was coming?!" I yelled over the sound of cushion hitting skin.

"She wanted it to be a surprise!" he cried, placing his hands in the air and squirming to try and get away through bouts of laughter.

Lizzie gave his one last smack before leaning back on her heels. "Are we going now?" she asked excitedly. Liam nodded before we leapt up to go get shoes and purses, ready in less than thirty seconds. You could say we were a little bit excited to even out the estrogen to testosterone ratio a bit more. Especially if it was Avery. 

We took the elevator downstairs to the lobby to the car that was waiting outside. The lads were excited about her coming, too, but there was a less chance of being seen if just one of them went. And since Liam was the one actually dating her, he got to go. 

Avery was so shy about the fame. She loved Liam enough to deal with it, but she just really wasn't a person that enjoyed being in the spotlight. She was more the quiet girl who stayed in the background. Or at least she tried. She was so unbelievably stunning that people couldn't help but stare at her as she walked by.

"What has she been doing?" I asked Liam on the way, fumbling with my twisted seat belt.

"She auditioned to be in the pit orchestra at a small production company and got in, so that's been keeping her occupied for the most part." Av was also an amazing pianist. "She loves it there. And she's still working at the music store," he said with a small smile on his face. That was where the two of them met. 

On paper, they didn't really have much in common besides a love of music. He was rich and famous while she had a past that haunted her every move. Somehow, they were perfect for one another, though. She made him happy, she really did.

We pulled up to the airport and rushed inside as quickly as we possibly could so Li wouldn't be spotted. It looked vaguely like it was about to rain outside. Thankfully airports weren't that full on a Tuesday afternoon and Liam had the sense to wear a hat. He stuffed his hands in his pockets and looked down at the ground so as not to be noticed.

Unfortunately, it turned out that her plane was late so we were stuck in the uncomfortable airport seats playing the lamest game of I-Spy known to man. After waiting in the terminal for a good forty-five minutes,  I spotted a familiar head of white-blonde hair near the luggage claim.

"AVERY!"  I screeched, running towards the wispy girl in front of me. She whirled around, dropping her luggage and opening her arms to Lizzie and I. We literally tackled her to the ground, hitting the thin carpet with a thud.

Avery laughed as we moved off of her, taking the outstretched hand only to be pulled to her feet by Liam. "I knew you still needed me," he said with a wink.

She was awestruck for a minute, stunned at the fact that he was actually able to be there to greet her instead of just me and Liz. A blush crept across her cheeks as Liam pulled her into his arms, hugging her tightly to his chest as if he never wanted to let go. She buried her nose in the crook of his shoulder and took in his scent, the two of them forgetting about the rest of the world for a moment.

I melted. Melted. I was a puddle on the ground. Those two would be the death of me, I swear. Next to me Lizzie was one step away from aww-ing out loud, you could tell by the look on her face. Avery was the first to notice us and she blushed as she moved out of Liam's grasp, shy at all the sudden attention.

"Shall we get going?" Lizzie asked. Avery nodded as Liam grabbed her suitcase in one hand and Av's hand in the other, interlocking their fingers. He had missed her so much.

I watched them as I walked behind, thinking about how she was the only other one of the girlfriends that was able to come on the tour, which stunk. I knew Zayn and Louis missed Eleanor and Perrie a lot. But they were both too busy with their careers and education to come this time (which is probably a good thing, because Liz has the biggest girl-crush on Perrie and would have had to hold in her inner fan-girl. She loves Little Mix). So it was just us. 

My eyes widened as I walked, realizing I just lumped myself in with the other girlfriends. What? I wasn't a girlfriend. I was dragged here because of my best friend that was a girlfriend. I hadn't even wanted to come here in the first place, and I was currently stuck in the land of unrequited love with a stupid crush on a stupid boy. 

I looked over at Avery and Liam again laughing and talking with Lizzie, while a familiar pang made itself evident in my chest.

*****

We were in Liam's hotel room that night, deciding after a while that we wanted to watch a movie. Shocker. Louis had wanted to go out to celebrate Avery coming to visit, but that would mean paps and fans and I'm afraid that Av really wasn't the sort of person that enjoyed that (or clubbing, for that matter). Thus we were stuck in the hotel room without much to do except stir up trouble and watch a movie.

I kind of wish we had gone out, though. The last time I had been at a club was when-well, I didn't particularly like to relive that experience. Everyone knew what it was, we had very few secrets in this group.

Louis and Zayn were sitting on the floor in front of the couch. Avery sat on Liam's lap beside them. The rest of us were a few feet above them on the sofa. I was on the end, next to Harry. Or course.

There wasn't any space between us, thighs touching. My eyes were wide and I sat stiffly, completely aware of the feeling of his skin against mine. It sent tingles throughout my body and I couldn't seem to concentrate on anything else, moving myself as close to the armrest as I could to get away from him. I didn't want to be too close to him and risk being obvious about how I felt, but I also didn't want to seem like I was intentionally being weird and trying not to touch him. 

Harry, on the other hand, didn't seem remotely dazed, locking his eyes on the screen and resting his arm along the back, behind my head.

I looked over at Liam and Avery, sat peacefully and content to be with one another. Was it too much to ask for a nice, normal relationship like theirs? Harry and I weren't even capable of buying ice cream without shoving it into each other's faces. 

It was him, it was always him. Everything always related back to Harry, and I had only known him for a few years! Even when I hated him, he just kept popping up because his best friend was dating my best mate. Harry, Harry, Harry. I couldn't stay away from him. It was like I had known him for all of my life, or at least that's what it felt like. He didn't even know what my life in Ireland had been like, and that was most my time on Earth. It was like it didn't matter until I met him.

I woke up from my trance to find out that the movie had ended, and everyone was asleep. Even Lizzie, infamous for taking eons to fall asleep, was snuggled into the Niall's chest, eyes closed. That must have been one boring movie, I thought to myself. I couldn't even tell you what it was.

Something poked my side. Harry. His face peered over at me, only a few inches from mine. "Hey, are you asleep?" he whispered.

I shook my head, but just barely. "No," I replied quietly.

"Knew it." He stood up and offered me his hand to pull me up. "Come on, let's go do something."

I raised an eyebrow, looking up at him. "I don't know..."

He smirked at me, still holding his hand out. "You're telling me you would really prefer to sit here and fall asleep and mess with the alignment of your spine than go do something stupid with me? I know you, Al. All too well."

His words played over and over a few times in my head, how he knew me. "Okay," I said, taking his hand slowly, like I was afraid it would move away if I went too fast.  It seemed like at every sleepover there were always those few kids who didn't fall asleep and went to go do something stupid. I guess that was us, this time. 

Okay, it was usually us. One time we had put shaving cream on everyone's hands before waking them up. 

Carefully, we stepped over Zayn and Louis. Zayn was stretched out of his back, while Louis was on his side squeezing him like a giant teddy bear. I stifled a giggle at the two of them, not wanting to wake them up. 

Harry was a few steps in front of me, so I kept my gaze on his upper back while he towed me along with his hand before stopping to wait for the elevator. I liked how his hand felt in mine, much as I hated to admit it. 

"You're not supposed to leave the floor," I hissed at him. The only other places they were allowed to go were the lobby and the dining area, and only then accompanied by a security guard or two.

"And you're not supposed to be acting like my mum," he shot back, continuing to look upwards at the elevator sign while I stood behind him. When he saw nothing was happening he turned to face me, letting go of my hand. "Come on, where's Alley-cat, always up for an adventure? What did that other guy do to you anyways?"

My face fell and he realized he had taken it too far. "Oh, Al, I'm sorry. It just sort of slipped out and--"

I waved his hand off. "Don't worry about it, I'm over him anyhow," I mumbled, rubbing my hands on my biceps to keep warm. The air-conditioning was freezing in here.

He opened his mouth and closed it again. "It was a dick move, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said it." He took one last look at the elevator before heading in the other direction towards the stairs. 

I stood there for a moment before following close behind, trotting to keep up with his long stride. "Where are we going?"

He shrugged. "Truthfully I was just going to pick a floor and see what we find. But I think I have a better idea." Continuing down the hallways he entered the stairwell and stepped inside, silently handing me his sweatshirt without looking back. He must have noticed I was chilly while we were waiting. 

I put it on, getting the familiar drowning feeling just by the sleeves that extended far beyond my hands. What was it with this boy and buying oversized jumpers?

It was soft, though, and it smelled like him.

I looked at Harry and grinned. "Race ya?" I yelled, taking off up the stairs before he had a chance to say no.

It wasn't exactly a clean fight, with my cheating head start and our constant banging of each other into the wall and throwing out limbs to hold the other one back or trip them. Our laughter cascaded off the walls, projecting down floors we had long since passed, along with our constant shushing of each other so as not to wake the entire hotel up. 

My heart was pounding furiously from the physical activity and the drunken feeling of being with him. We started to reach the top and I probably would have won, but a few steps away from the landing I suddenly I felt my feet being picked up from beneath me as Harry threw me over his shoulder. I beat at his back while shrieking and laughing at him to put me down.

We approached what we thought was the top. The stairs ended, but there was another door that read 'Authorized Personnel Only'. Harry put me down and I turned to look at him, beaming.

"Scared?" he said, smiling back at me with a mischievous glint in his eyes, daring me to open it.

I scoffed. "Of course not!"

He chuckled and pushed open the door, which by some miracle was unlocked. I rolled my eyes at the cliché before following him out onto the rooftop.

It should have been dark, I mean, it was 2 am. But the light from the city was so bright that we could still see each other, at least somewhat clearly. The wind whistled around my ears as I walked over to the edge to see how high up we were. I placed my hand past the ledge, over the nothingness below just to see what it felt like. 

"What are you thinking?" Harry's voice scared me and I jumped, clutching the ledge with my fingertips.

I turned around to face him. "I'm thinking," I started, tapping my chin like I was continuing to ponder it. "One of your best friends just picked up his very serious girlfriend from the airport today. In fact, all your friends are starting to get settled in happy relationships, and then there's you. And me. We're the last holdouts," I joked.

He leaned forward so his elbows were resting on the railing, chin draped over the edge. "That whole thing is overrated." He arched his head to look up, attempting to find the trace of a star in the light pollution.

"Oh?" I teased. "I'll have to break it to Charlie."

He chortled softly. "Does Charlie really seem like the settling down type to you?"

I shrugged, moving so that my body mimicked his beside him. The concrete was cold against my elbows. "I don't know," I said, thinking about how she moved around all the time. "Not really. But with the right person, maybe." 

He laughed again. "Lemme rephrase that. Do I seem like the settling down type to you?"

"With the right person, yeah," I repeated in a mocking tone. I didn't know if it was just that the thought that I could be that person excited me, but for some reason I believed what I said. Harry could be a player or just not think he was cut out for all that, yet there was something that told me that in the end that wasn't really what he wanted. He wanted a romance written in the stars, just like what he was staring up at now. He just would never admit it in a million years.

I looked down at the traffic below, trying to muster up the nerve to say what was really on my mind. My eyes squeezed shut and opened again before I finally opened it up.

"Harry?" I asked after a moment.

"What?"

"What's it like to have it all?" Just for a moment, I wanted to know what it was like to live the life where everyone adored you and you had more money than you could ever spend and you were living your dream. There was nothing to want or wait for. I knew it cost him, he could hardly leave the house some days for fear of being recognized, but all jobs came with some sort of stress and caveats. For a moment there I wanted to forget about everything and feel what it was like.

"I wouldn't know, because I don't have it all."

"What more could you possibly want? You have the career and the looks and the fans and more money than god and you just got done saying you're not the settling down type. What more is there? You have everything." We still weren't looking at each other, staring into the black oblivion as the sounds of late night cars and traffic played from below.

"Not everything," he said softly, not offering any more or less.

Look idk why but this is debatably my favorite chapter they're just so cuuuute. 

Song: Rules by Nat & Alex Wolff