Chapter Four

The odd thing about Harry is that he's actually a really sweet lad. I know I ride him off as an asshole, and he is, don't get me wrong, but it's only to the people that have done him wrong. He's actually quite charming and has a big heart along with his pompous personality.

Maybe that's why I fell for him in the first place. He just seemed like a big teddy bear, really, and I liked that about him. I figured he was one of those guys that wouldn't hurt me. He cared about others too much.

That changed drastically after we broke up. He went from greeting me with kisses and surprise  biscuits when I got home from Uni to barely being able to look me in the eye. And it wasn't long after that before our tempers got the better of us and we put an embargo on seeing or talking to each other altogether for fear of starting a screaming match in the middle of happy hour. 

What made it even weirder with Harry, at first anyway, was that I was so used to him not being like that. I was so used to him being a perfect gentleman. This other side of him was a total opposite, it was almost scary how rare and specialized towards me it was. 

Just goes to show, people can turn on you.                                     

*****

My eyes opened and then snapped shut when I felt the bright light piercing through the window. I groaned and pulled the cover back over my head in the hopes of falling back asleep. It was no use, though. By now I was already awake and it was too bright to fall back into the bliss of sweet slumber. Rubbing my eyes, I threw a leg over the side of the bed and jumped down to the floor with an oompf.

It was strangely quiet, since almost everyone else was asleep. I snuck a quick peek into all of their beds. The ones on the bottom anyways, it was too early to exhort that much energy to reach the top ones.

Sometimes it's a real pain in the arse being short.

Zayn was out like a light, snoring softly. He looked sweet while he slept, almost childlike as he clutched his pillow. Louis was curled up into a ball, actually looking like he was a child. Niall and Lizzie were being their adorable selves, par usual. Niall had his arm around Lizzie, holding her close to his chest. He wasn't asleep himself, though, just laid in bed playing on his phone, since he hadn't wanted to wake her up. He threw me a wink as I walked past. I grinned at him.

Unfortunately, Harry was the only other one who was awake and in the kitchen. I groaned internally at the sight of him so early in the morning. He sat in the kitchen, shoveling cereal into his mouth. It looked suspiciously like Cocoa Pops, but I wasn't quite sure.

He looked a bit different since the last time I had seen him. His hair, though still a wild mess of curls and infested with a bad case of bedhead, was a tad longer and flipped up at the ends. He was a bit tan, too, from beginning of summer. Though I hated to admit it, his new look sort of suited him. His eyes were the same, though. Still big and bright and clear and able to see right through me.

"Hey," he said as I sat down and I nodded curtly in greeting. "Hungry?"

"Do you really have to ask?" I responded with a slight smile. At least I would try and act civil, for the sake of the rest of the lot.

He motioned with his head to the other side of the bus. "There's some cereal in the cupboards. Not quite sure which one." He studied the bowl as if it would give him the answer. "I think this came from Liam's."

"You mean you guys don't actually follow whose food is which?"

Harry shrugged. "We put our favorite foods in our cupboards, so at least we know where it is. But for the most part we just share everything. If you really want to save something, you have to label the food itself. And even that might not work because we eat each other's stuff just to mess with them," he said with a grin. 

"So my best bet is just to eat what I want when I have it, I suppose." That came out a lot less friendly than it sounded, mostly because my tone of voice was somewhat cold. It wasn't like he sounded any better, really. He just sounded impartial, flat, as if he was just stating facts.

Still, it was something. I decided to leave it at that, walking over and pouring myself some breakfast. Harry was right, it was from Liam's cupboard.

My mum, whom was a notorious health food nut, never let us have any kind of sugary cereal when I was little. The closest we came was musli with dried fruit, so it always felt like a treat when I got to eat something that was loaded with sugar and fatty acids even though I had been out of the house for years. I had two decades to make up for. 

"So what's new with you, Al?"

I gave him a look. "How many times have to I told you not to call me that?" I always regretted telling him that story. My brothers, in an attempt to squash any of my feminine qualities, always used the nickname on me since they had wanted another brother instead of me. I had hated it ever since, and Harry knew that. Bloody arseholes.

 "Numerous. But the look you give me when I do something you don't like always makes me laugh." 

My eyes glanced up at the ceiling and then back down at him. Come on Allison, bite your tongue, be the bigger person. "I've been fine." I took a bite of my food, savoring its sweet chocolatey flavor.

"Got yourself a new bloke, or so I hear." He raised one of his eyebrows mischievously.

How did he...? I turned around, glancing over my shoulder. Lizzie. She could keep your darkest secrets and somehow have such a big mouth at the same time.

"His name is Zach," I replied defensively.

"How long? A month, two?"

I paused for a moment. "Six weeks."

He held his empty bowl in his hand, tipping it towards me slightly. Harry always spoke with his hands. "My condolences to the poor chap." He walked over to the sink to rinse out his dish.

I pressed my lips into a thin line. I don't know what gave him his unwavering arrogance, but it annoyed the fuck out of me. He always acted like he was the best thing that had every happened to me and it was my fault our relationship crashed and burned or something. Honestly.

My blood boiled, and it wasn't from the heat. I was fine with him bugging me (okay, I really wasn't all that fine about it, but I could deal with it), I wasn't, however, okay with him suggesting that I was some kind of horrendous relationship sadist. Why? Why did he always have to make everything sound like it was my fault?

I stood up from my seat. "Just who the fuck do you think you-"

"Morning!" Louis interrupted in that Doncaster accent of his, pulling me in a side hug and pressing a kiss to my cheek in an attempt to ease the tension. Always so cheerful. He pointed to the table. "Liam's?" Harry and I nodded as Louis grinned, bending down to the cupboard to claim his prize.

Just then, the bus lurched, sending me flying forward. "Bloody-" I started, smacking into Harry's chest, which felt roughly like slamming into a stack of bricks. He caught my wrists with his hands firmly, steadying me as our eyes accidentally locked. For a second he looked concerned, but it was just a flash before he was back to normal.

I expected just to see anger and dislike in the sea of green, and I did, but there was something else there too.  Something unusual and I couldn't put my finger on it. I cocked my head, trying to figure out exactly what it was when I heard footsteps. Suddenly, I became very aware of the fact that Harry still had a grip on me and that I really wished that he didn't. We were far too close for comfort. 

Harry released me when I started to yank my wrists away and I moved back as Liam walked into the room and sighed. "Seriously, did you guys eat all of my cereal again?"

*****

After a long day on the bus, we finally arrived at our first destination. I dived onto the ground the second the driver threw the door open, breathing a sigh of relief.

"Land!" I said exasperatedly, falling to my knees and bowing to its glory. "Sweet mercy."

You could say being trapped on a bus with them for hours on end hadn't exactly been my favorite thing, even if it was a tricked out bus with wifi and a Playstation in the back. I hate long car rides and at all times I was within 30 feet of Harry. This was sweet relief.

Louis, never to miss out on a joke, came charging after me, landing with a flying leap. "FREEDOM!" he shrieked as I giggled. "Quick, Alley-cat, run before they catch us and lock us in there again!" He took my hand and started pulling me towards the building before us.

"Oi! Wait up!" Niall called as the rest of them stepped off the bus. Lizzie squinted against the last bit of sunlight as Harry folded his arms across his chest, watching us. He was wearing a pair of thick, dark sunglasses so I couldn't fully see his expression.

"We were just going to sneak a quick peek inside," I replied. Louis pouted, obviously upset that we had to wait for the others. Sometimes I have to remind myself that he's actually older than me. He stuck his bottom lip out in mock protest. 

That's an understatement. I constantly have to remind myself that he's actually older than me.

"Cool, we'll come with," Zayn said excitedly as we all walked towards the venue together. Harry still hadn't said anything. And I think Louis is immature. At least Harry actually is younger than me, even if its only by less than a year. 

The stadium was massive. It sort of suddenly hit me, just how big the boys were to actually be playing in a place like this. I mean, I knew they were famous and I had had my own quick run-ins with the paparazzi thanks to them, but it never really sunk in. I just sort of had this vague idea. Seeing where they were playing, with numerous seats for thousands upon thousands of fans, though, you sort of start to realize that the individuals you think of just as people are actually something more.

To me, they were just my close friends. Well, my four close friends and the other one with stupid hair. I didn't think of them as anything beyond that. Hell, I had seen them scratching their balls and chewing with their mouths open and obsessing over shows on the telly. To me, they were human. But then again, they weren't. They were also super-human. It's easy to forget.

Some security guards nodded at us as we walked inside. They had already been notified that Lizzie and I were on tour too so they didn't confuse us for crazy fans or something. Oh god, how far from the truth that was. I had no idea how I was actually going to sit there at the concert with insane girls screaming their names. His name. How did Lizzie do this 24/7?

I glanced over at her and Niall. He had his arm loosely around her waist as they walked. I guess normal humans (ie, not me and Harry) do a lot for the people we love.

Making my way in-between the aisles, I finally found a seat that I deemed appropriate to park my arse. Fumbling in the back pocket of my shorts, I pulled out my phone triumphantly. Seeing Niall and Lizzie had made me think of Zach.

I missed him. I had only really been gone for two days, but still. There's just something different about knowing the person you want to be with is right there, even if you don't see them. It's a comfort, almost. Now he was miles and hours and minutes away, stuck in his own little world in London.

After unlocking my phone, I clicked the button to see my messages and saw he had called me, twice. I quickly hit the call back moment and waited as it rung.

"Hello?"

I smiled into the phone; I loved the sound of his voice. "Hey, it's me."

"Hello, love. How's the trip so far?"

Despite the fact that he couldn't see it, I still shrugged. I talk with my hands, like Harry. "It's pretty good. I haven't killed anybody yet and I just spent eight hours confined in a space roughly the size of a broom closet." The tour bus was actually pretty big all things considered, but it started to feel smaller and smaller as the hours progressed. For the first five minutes it was an eight-wheeled truck, by the last hour it was one of those goddamn smart-cars.

I can't stand those things. The point of having a car is to have a car, not a matchbox toy.

"How's the chap?" I had told Zach about Harry. Less to make him aware of the situation, and more that I just wanted to complain to somebody about the certain hell Lizzie was forcing me into.

I grimaced. "He's been okay. We were sort of talking about you this morning." Absentmindedly I rolled my eyes at the thought of Harry. 

You know, no one ever believes me when I say I hate him. I don't know why, it's not like I make any effort to be nice. All the manners my mum taught me go out the window when I'm talking to him. 

"Is he jealous that I have the most stunning girlfriend in the world?" My cheeks started to heat up and I smiled at the ground. He was always saying things like that to me, but I never got tired of hearing it. I twisted a strand of hair around my finger.

I adore Zach, I do. I like him a lot, but I push him away. Sometimes I prefer to be by myself in my free time and turn down all the nice things he offers.  I know I do it, but I can't help myself. It's not him at all, it's me.  But I do think about him a lot, even if I have a sorry way of showing it. Real life me is just way worse at being a girlfriend than the Ally in my head. 

"No, he's just an arrogant arsehole." Zach chuckled. He thought my cynical nature was funny. I never really said his taste in women made sense.

I saw Lizzie down at the bottom of the seats crossing her arms and giving me a knowing look. I made a face at her. We always liked to give each other shit about our boyfriends, it was way to fun to pass up.

Zach proceeded to tell me about his day as I watched Harry stride over to my best mate. He kind of clomped when he walked, like a horse. "Who's she talking to?"

"Her boy-toy," Lizzie replied, smirking at me.

I made shushing motions at them as Zach continued on. My head snapped to the other side of the arena when I heard someone yelling. "Hey guys, we're gonna do a sound check. Why don't you get onstage, yeah?"

I groaned. I had hoped I could get out of listening to their music as much as possible. "Zach? I gotta go. They're doing a sound check and then probably a rehearsal and I won't be able to hear anything."

"Oh, okay." He sounded disappointed. I suppose he had hoped he could talk for longer. I had too, but I've learned by now that nothing ever goes the way I plan.

"Well, bye I guess." My fingers combed through the top of my hair along where my parted.

"See ya, gorgeous." My cheeks started to burn again and I hung up. Lizzie was waiting for me at the bottom. 

I don't know why Zach always calls me beautiful, I'm not even close. Lizzie, on the other hand, is exquisite without even trying. She just wakes up and looks perfect. Bloody muppet. I love her, but I look like a total munter next to her. No one ever said life was fair.

"Do we have to stay here and listen to this?" I whined.

Lizzie linked her arm through mine. "Oh Al, it won't be that bad. Besides, we can go exploring in the meantime."

I grimaced at her use of my nickname. I don't like it any better coming from her, but I far surpassed giving up on her and Niall calling me that years ago. "You're pretty much required as my best friend to say that to make me feel better."

"At least I'm doing my job right. Your mum gives me a good fifty pounds weekly to hang out with you!" she joked, winking at me.

 *****

I was just coming out of the bathroom when I ran into him again. What is it about life that always makes that happen? We stood across from each other, awkwardly acknowledging one another's presence as I rubbed my hands on my cutoffs to dry them off. 

There was an uncomfortable pause as we both stared, the kind where part of you wants to say something to be polite but really you just want to leave. We sized each other up, me in my tank top and shorts and him in skinny jeans and a t-shirt with The Who logo. It hugged his figure ever so slightly, outlining the traces of his muscles. 

Hmph. Wannabe hipster.

"Hello, Harry," I said, placing my hands behind my back and clasping them together.

"Hey," he said shortly. His hands were stuffed in his pockets. Yup, we had reached the textbook definition of awkward. I scratched the middle of my back. "Afternoon going okay?"

"Can't complain," I said. "Except that Liz and I haven't found the food table yet." 

Harry nodded. "Lizzie tells me you were talking to him, er, Zach. He doing okay without you?"

Not being able to help it, I smirked slightly at Harry bringing him up in conversation, unprompted. He couldn't be jealous, could he? I suddenly got that rushing adrenaline feeling that always came when I knew I had something to hold over him.

"You wouldn't happen to be jealous, now would you?" My tone was a little bit more than slightly condescending.

"What? Of him?" Harry snorted. "No way. I mean, he has to spend quality time with you."

 I raised my eyebrows, noting the hypocrisy. "As far as I remember, so do you. Now anyways." I should have stopped myself, by now I was being downright catty, but I couldn't help it. There was something about making him mad that made me feel really, really good. It was a rush of energy.

 He sighed. "Look, just because Lizzie invited you to come with us doesn't mean I have to enjoy it."

I nodded, my blonde hair falling out of my bun. "I know. But you can also still be jealous. I mean, someone likes me, while you, on the other hand, well I'm pretty sure you're alone." The sound of my voice was high and chirpy, like a twittering little bird.

His nostrils flared again. He always does that when he's mad. He walked over to me, slowly, until my back pressed against the wall and my hands, still behind me, touched cold stone. My breath started to quicken, but, I wasn't going to back down from our fight. He didn't intimidate me. He never did. Beyond the fact that he would never harm a hair on my head, I was way better at arguing than he was. 

He placed a hand above my head, grinning mischievously, and bent down so his face was just above mine. His lips looked soft and plump and pink, not chapped or dry at all. They were just perfect, and my cheeks flushed from noticing. What was the matter with me? My heart was pounding and I couldn't control it.  He was so close that I could feel his warm breath on my face. It smelled weird, like mint mixed with some sort of sandwich.

"See, to be jealous of you and Zach, I'd actually have to care." He leaned in even closer so his mouth was next to my ear and every single hair on the back of my neck was on end. "I'd have to care that you were with somebody else, and for that I'd have to care about you." The air from his nose tickled my ear as I felt the heat from his body and suddenly I felt weak at the knees for no reason at all. I steadied myself against the wall, suddenly feeling in way over my head at the whole situation. 

His voice lowered down to a whisper. "And, well, frankly my dear," he continued, quoting Gone with the Wind. "I don't give a damn."

Song: In Too Deep by Sum 41