As soon as Nate dropped me off, I ran straight up to my apartment needing to talk to Claudia.

I was freaking out inside. This wasn't something I could just text about or say on the phone. We needed an in depth discussion, I needed to lay my head on her shoulders and tell her my problems so we could work it out together.

I unlocked our apartment to find her keys in the bowl by the door, but no Claudia in sight. She must've gone to Jordan's. I dropped my bags in my room and headed straight across the hall.

Jordan never kept his door locked. While Claudia and I negotiated keeping our doors open from 2-10pm on weekends, Jordan took his open door policy seriously.

His apartment was of course bigger and better than ours. The square footage allowed his expensive furniture to spread out nicely instead of being cluttered in a near claustrophobic state like ours was.

"Claudia? Jordan?" I looked around the empty living room searching for my friends until I heard the faint sound of voices coming from his bedroom.

"You will not believe the weekend I had." I raised my arms walking into Jordan's room. I stopped in my tracks and turned quiet when I saw the scene before me; a dejected Jordan laying his head on Claudia's lap as she massaged his scalp with an empathetic look.

"Leah, you're back." Claudia ushered for me to join them on his bed.

"Yeah, is everything okay?" I looked at her then over at Jordan with worry. Something was wrong, I could feel it in the energy.

'"I gotta use the bathroom," Jordan lifted himself off of Claudia and disappeared into the connecting room.

Claudia grabbed my arm and rushed back to the living room a second later.

"What's going on?" I asked.

"I lot." Claudia huffed out a breath. "I hadn't heard from Jordan the last two days, which has obviously never happened before, so of course I tried to come over and see what's up, and to my surprise, his door was locked. I texted him and asked why his door was locked and he didn't respond so I called him back to back and he continued to not respond which led me to straight panic. After threatening to ram through his door and knock it down myself, he finally opened up. He'd been laying on his bathroom floor in a depressive state for days, Leah."

"What? Why." We rarely saw Jordan be anything but happy. It was hard to get him mad, hard to crack the positive shell he built so well.

"He's been taking his performance at the exhibition game hard. His dad has been harder on him than he's ever been, which is saying a lot, and he expects results. Jordan is terrified he won't be able to deliver them to him. He's afraid he won't be able to prove himself. I've been doing my best to comfort him, I think it's helping."

I nodded, understanding the situation and knowing the role I needed to take up to help him as well. My problems were nothing at that moment, all that mattered was helping my friend.

We spent the rest of the day by his side, giving words of encouragement, soothing his worries, feeding him and comforting him with our presence.

All three of us had our moments over our years of friendship. We joked with each other, teased each other, and most importantly, looked out for each other.

I felt this urge to shake him, to make him realize the potential he had. Sure, he had a rough time, and sure he wasn't born with this natural super talent like some other athletes, but that didn't mean things were ruled out.

"Listen, Jordan," I said. "No matter what, you can't deny the way you've pushed yourself this past year alone. Not everyone is born with natural talents and opportunities. A majority of people in life have to work their ass off to get anywhere, and that's exactly what you're doing. Don't psych yourself out. Take some of that pressure off yourself and let your love of the game fuel your success the next time you get the chance to play."

This wasn't just a pep talk to him, but to myself as well. When I felt down and trodden, when I felt like I'd never reach the career goals I had for myself, I had to remember not to fall in despair and give up. The good thing about a pep talk like that is that it could be applied to anything.

We left the next morning, spending him off to practice. He looked lighter, somewhat in a better shape, though I knew it would take more inner work for him to get out of his hole than anything we could ever do.

***

"What?" Claudia's eyes nearly bulged out of her head as I finally got the opportunity to share how my weekend went. "Are you not into him? Cause if you say you're not im sorry, I'd have to call your bluff."

"It's not about if I'm into him or not, it's about not messing up our deal. Romance was not a part of the agreement, him ace-ing his classes and thus, giving me an internship at his daddy's company was what we agreed on. We shouldn't muddy it with outside stuff, it would only lead to disaster."

Claudia sucked her teeth. "If that's how you feel..."

"If you were in my position, you'd do the exact same thing. This opportunity is too important." I felt the need to further prove my point.

Claudia knew more than anyone the life I wanted for myself, she knew the struggles I faced trying to gain experience and opportunities with my limited connections. This was a goldmine, my lifeline— especially since my chance at Stevens & Winslow was essentially dead— I couldn't let feelings get in the way of that.

"Honestly, if I were in your position, I'd have the same hesitations as you, sure, then I'd weigh things out. Are our mutual feelings strong enough that it would be worth taking a risk on, or is it just a casual attraction that can be brushed off and forgotten about. If it's the former, I'd probably pursue it, but if it was the latter, sure, I'd react the same way you did. Having a lucrative and well paying job is amazing, no doubt, but it won't fulfill everything. You need more in life to look forward to, love and companionship, and great sex... need I go on?"

"No, you need not," I said. She was right.

I didn't want to, but I knew I had things to think about.

"What about you, though? Your sharp change in attitude is a little suspicious. Anything going on that I don't know about?" I raised my eyebrow at her.

She laughed nervously, scratching the corner of her face. "Only thoughts and dreams, my friend. Thoughts and dreams."

"What does that mean?" I asked.

"I don't know." She waved me off, and it was so typically of her personality that I accepted it as a valid response.

***

Nate and I met up after his practice and my shift at work. Instead of our usual study room in the library, we decided to study in his room for a change.

I'd never been to his house before. For some reason it felt daunting walking up the steps of the porch. I wasn't sure if I should knock on the door or simply walk in. Right as I approached it, the door swung open and one of his roommates walked out with a large garbage bag.

He moved past me then took a look back, startled by my appearance.

"Oh hey, Leah." He smiled, waves of his hair floating past his shoulders from the breeze.

"Joey? Is it?" I asked, smiling back, still not too familiar with his teammates.

"Yeah, what's up? You here for Nate right?"

"Uh, yes." I began to stammer. "Just for some studying, you know."

"Cool." He went back to his task without a second look.

I walked through the door and sent a text to Nate, letting him know I arrived.

I looked around the space, surprised by the look of it. It was moderately furnished, rustic and manly, yet clean with even a pleasant aroma that wafted through the air. This was rare for a household full of college guys, and I was impressed.

Nate rushed down the stairs in the smooth way he always walked. He wore a pair of jeans and a white sweatshirt, looking freshly washed with his semi-damp hair.

The smile that always spread on his face when his eyes first reached mine, it was, I hated to say, intoxicating.

I smiled back, feeling shy in a way I'd rarely been before. I toyed with my fingers and shifted my eyes away until he reached me.

"Hey, how was work?" His deep voice sounded raspier than usual.

"Same old. How was practice? Let me guess, a lot of screaming?"

"Had to set my guys straight a little, they were lacking today." He wrapped his arm around my shoulders, filling my nostrils with the scent of his peppermint soap as he led me upstairs to his room.

His room was modest, a simple bed and desk to the side and various photos on his drawer. It was clean in here as well, with a smell of fresh linen so strong that I was sure he sprayed a good amount of air freshener right before I arrived.

"Your house is nice," I said.

He plopped himself on his bed, laying back casually and picking up a small toy basketball. "Thanks."

I hesitated then decided to sit on the very edge of his bed. After I made the move, I took out my laptop, and we began quizzing each other on the study guide.

"What's the age of the consumer?" I asked.

He tossed the toy ball back and forth in his hands, focusing his eyes on the action of it bouncing up and down. "Businesses recognize the power of the consumer and cater to their wants and needs," he said.

"Does playing with that ball help you focus on the subject?" I asked.

"Sorry, I'll stop." He dropped the ball down beside him guiltily.

"Oh, no, I'm not reprimanding you, I'm genuinely curious, do sensory objects help you focus on school work?"

"Sensory objects?" He asked with confusion.

"Things you can touch and hold in your hands."

"I don't know, it was just laying around, I don't need to hold it or anything." He threw it across the room towards the small toy basketball hoop he had connected to his closet. The shot made it in and the ball rolled to a stop a few feet away.

"You can keep playing with it, especially if it helps." This was a good thing to know. A possible new way to work through his short attention span and focus.

"Why do you get like this sometimes?" He said. He didn't necessarily have an angry tone, but it had a slight edge to it.

"Like what?" I genuinely had no idea what he was talking about.

"Like, I don't know, you start acting like a doctor or something. Sometimes it feels like you're a scientist in a lab and you're just observing me waiting to tell me I have some condition."

My chest panged, I nervously laughed. "You caught me. You've been diagnosed with—"

He stepped in finishing my sentence for me. "Moron-idice. Congrats, I won't get through university, but clown school will accept me just fine."

"Nate.." I scolded.

"Leah..." He replied playfully.

"Stop it," I said.

"Okay." He conceded.

We returned to our studying, and while I was mostly focused on it, a small part of me was focused on Nate himself. The way he laid comfortably back, hand behind his head. The way he'd continuously poke my elbow with his sock covered foot and laugh to himself when I'd ignore him.

I enjoyed his presence, I did. Now did I long for something more? That wasn't a question I needed answers for at the moment.

It was past midnight when we decided to call it for the night. We took some breaks of course, grabbing snacks and then a few sandwiches for dinner. By the time we finished, my brain started to become foggy and fatigue ran through me.

"Just on time," Nate said, shutting his laptop.

"You ready to get some sleep?" I asked.

"No way," he said, "we have a show to catch tonight."

"What are you talking about? I was amused and ready for clarification.

"Mason Kelleher and his strip teasing teammates."

I let out a laugh. "No way, I completely forgot about that."

"So you wanna go?" He asked.

"Hell yeah."

His face dropped and he waved a finger at me. "Well don't look too excited about it young lady."

****

Nate kept things under wraps just like he said he would. The same amount of people that were at the exhibition game were in the quad waiting for the honored guests to deliver their punishment.

I found Claudia and Jordan in the crowd and we joined them by the lamppost.

"This is so stupid yet funny," she said, rubbing her hands together with anticipation.

A gush of cool air whipped through us, and I secured my jacket, glad I had layers of clothes that would stay on all night.

"Are they even here yet?" Jordan asked Nate.

"Yep, Mason and his crew are behind those bushes getting ready to take their clothes off on my cue." Nate didn't sound as enthusiastic as Claudia for some reason.

He got a call from Mason and picked up. "Everyone is here, most of faculty is home and the ones on campus overnight are on a break for the next half hour, it's now or never. Are you ready?"

"Fuck, Holloway, let's just get this over with." Mason hissed on the line.

Like clockwork, someone began playing sexy R&B music and the guys jumped out of the bushes one by one, stark naked, running for their lives.

My mouth dropped open, the sight of the act shocking me even though I knew full well what was going to take place.

Mason led the group, muscular arms, sculpted legs, tight ass, and abs on full display. His face was fully serious, he kept his eyes starkly ahead of him, and his hands strategically covered his most private area with his hands.

All the other players followed suit, except for one rogue and shameless teammate who seemed to be having the naked time of his life. A full beaming smile covered his face, and he unabashedly let everything hang loose, even stopping for the crowd and doing a sexy dance for the audience. When he approached me and Claudia with his slow moves, we screamed in laughing terror, and I began shielding my eyes, scared of a closer look.

I couldn't see Nate and Jordan's reaction, and the guy soon grew tired of our screaming, going to another corner where the girls' reactions were more welcoming.

When I looked up, Nate was covering his eyes with his hand awkwardly and when I laughed, he pulled me into him with his other hand and covered my eyes as well.

"Too late. I already saw everything." I joked.

" Don't worry, I'll flush your eyes later," he said.

He took his hand off my eyes but kept his arm around me and I liked the warmth of him, I couldn't lie.

It was a short show. They did the three laps rather quickly and everyone dispersed soon later. Nate didn't allow anyone to take out their phones or anything that could record, so this truly stayed between us lucky patrons that got to see the game.

After they redressed, Nate Congratulated Mason on actually delivering his punishment and remained friendly despite Mason's groans and complaints.

Nate then walked me back to my car, a few minutes walk from the quad at a nearby parking lot rather than the street parking that most of the attendees took up.

We walked slowly, enjoying the quiet serenity of the late-night campus.

"So about the eye flushing," he said.

"Nate, I've seen a naked man before. Calm down."

"I don't like that." He shook his head.

"Well that's too bad." I whispered.

"It is." He agreed, and he leaned into me, pushing my back against the door of my car.

"It is." I repeated, swallowing hard to get rid of whatever it was that suddenly appeared in my throat.

I thought back to what Claudia said earlier and in a move that was impulsive and completely unlike me, I reached up for Nate's face and kissed him.

Crap, I think we were the former.