🔒 @yvannugh

there's nothing regular about you, jem vargas.

jem vargas

9:23 PM

i came to lunch with a very specific idea of who you were from two years of games and presscons and articles and read receipts. i came prepared for 1 version of you and got something i don't have a category for.

and now i don't know what to do with that. and i'm a journalist. i always know what to do with information.

The reporter I know is hard-nosed, straight to the point, no filter, no softballs.

Ah, and hits people.

let that go, please

No.

Today, she ordered her food without looking at the menu because she'd already decided before we sat down, spent ten minutes explaining why Young Justice is criminally underrated, why Twilight and One Direction were cultural resets for supernatural fantasy and pop music, and then immediately pivoted to asking me if I actually like the people I follow on social media or just never got around to unfollowing them and telling me her very strong opinions on airport food.

i...contain multidudes.

Apparently. And so do I. That's the point. We've never really spoken to each other outside of the UAAP context and now we have.

I just didn't expect you to talk about very different topics very fast.

ah

sorry

my thoughts move faster than the conversation sometimes.

it's a lot of effort. staying in one place.

ang gulo ko ba?

No.

Just talk. I'll keep up.

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🔒 @yvannugh

may naramdaman akong iba sa tiyan ko

jem vargas

9:39 PM

Will that make it easier?

yeah

when i'm listening to someone i'm usually half-fighting not to zone out

it's not because i'm bored or not interested or anything, i just struggle with sustained attention during conversation, especially passive listening

but today i didn't have to try as hard. which is

i don't know. weird.

Weird bad or weird good?

...weird new

Ah, I'll take it.

New is good. New is nice.

i'm still not sure you're being like this so i can write better things about you

Get to know me more, then. I don't think getting close to something has ever stopped you from writing about it honestly.

And I told you wala akong karapatang sabihin sayo kung ano isusulat mo o hindi. Write what's true. Write what you see. You've never needed my permission for that before.

hmm

What?

most people say that and then get upset when i write something they don't like

Like who? Another UAAP player?

🔒 @yvannugh

yeah. yep. exactly.

jem vargas

9:48 PM

Who else has your attention, Reporter Barbie? Aside from the Football and Chess Teams, of course.

ah, you're updated. thanks for the clicks

Just returning the favor. You watch me play. I read what you write. Balances out.

And I'm older now than the one who got offended by the nepotism article. I'd like to think I've grown past letting words get to me.

hah. noted. i'll remember you said that

May oras pa ba ako sayo?

huh?

It's past 9:30.

oh. di ko nga napansin

You can start at 10. Just a suggestion.

why are you asking

Because I'm giving you my answer to one of your interview questions.

You asked me if this team was genuinely a contender or if I was the only one who needed us to be—because of my father and my new title.

you took it as an insult to your teammates and coaches

I did.

But I thought about it more.

And my honest answer is both. This team is good enough. That part, I've never doubted.

The part I couldn't answer then is—yes. I need this more because of my father and because I'm captain now.

That's not the same as the team not being ready. It just means I have more riding on this than the guy next to me does, that the stakes are different for me than they are for everyone else on that court.

It means my name makes this season mean something different for me than it does for Teo or Russ or anyone else. And that's not their burden, it's mine.

Because the expectations are louder now. Because after how many years of losing seasons, another Vargas is captain.

People are watching to see if that means something different, and I want it to mean something different.

So yes. Contender. Genuinely. And yes, I need this more than I let on. Those aren't separate things.

I've never admitted this out loud before, but that's the real and honest answer.

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this is on the record?

Yes. You can quote me on that.

🔒 @yvannugh

but why does it feel wrong to?

🔒 @yvannugh

may permission naman ako. wala nang journalistic ethical issue, pero. aghhhh.

jem vargas

9:56 PM

thank you for that.

but just because you said 'quote me' doesn't mean everything makes it in. i'll decide that

Pagkatapos mo 'kong habulin ng two months? It won't make it in?

the best journalists know what to leave out

pag-iisipan ko pa

Mm.

Fine, but write me the same way you always have. Don't go easy on me because of today.

unfortunately not my style, jem vargas

Good, my ego can handle a few more bruises from you.

Metaphorically.

We both know how hard you can pack a punch.

well, you deserved it

The kiss was worth it.

But thank you for today. For once, I was just a person at a table.

and for once i was the one talking too much instead of asking questions. weird day

Told you I can keep up.

Mag-aral ka na, I won't disturb you anymore. You need to focus.

And get some sleep after.

umuwi ka na

They'll be finished at 11. I have my Airpods.

Goodnight, Yvanna.

goodnight, vargas

*jem

Ah. That's better.

Weird new and weird good.

:)

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