SCREAMING WAS NEVER one of Myrina Mai's preferred activities, but it was one of the few things she felt like doing as she sat in her office at Crown Prince Ryan's Eastern Palace. The Eastern Palace was right beside the main Palace, where the Emperor and Empress resided, and had historically been the home of the heirs to the throne.

Of which Ryan Gu was the latest one.

But it wasn't the Prince who was making her frustrated. It was her relatives, and the latest missive she had received.

She'd returned from Arecia two months ago full of hope and energy. She wanted to come back and make things right. To finally get her relatives out of her estate, to get her brother back to Hong Cheng and to make her life more than simply tolerable.

So far she'd achieved none of those three goals.

The latest missive was from the erfang, the family of her eldest uncle and the younger brother of her father. Her er shu, as she called the uncle since he was the second oldest, was also the person most against her completely regaining control of her inheritance and forcing them all to move out.

She did not like him.

It said:

Niece,

I understand your frustration. However, no can do. We simply cannot leave the estate within such a short notice—a year or two's timing must be needed at the least. The erfang, sanfang all reside here. That is more than thirty people in total, and we'd have nowhere else to go.

Besides, Zihan has not yet returned from his studies. I think it is best for him to return before you make any brash decisions, my dearest niece. You are still young, and with your duties at court, you ought to leave the estate in our capable hands. We are your relatives, after all, and your closest family. This is what your father would want.

It would not be very filial of you to have us all removed from the estate. I am sure you understand. Perhaps in some time, we'd find a new place to relocate, but the estate is more than enough to house us and you in my opinion.

Your uncle.

The message was quite clear from the relatively short letter. Myrina gritted her teeth. Her uncles and their family would not move out. They did not trust her judgement and wanted her brother to return before making any decisions—an outright indication that they did not yet respect or accept her position as heir rather than her brother or any other male relative, that they would not be returning power over the estate (and thus any other real privilege that came with the title of Countess of Li Han) to her anytime soon, and that by suggesting this, she was being disrespectful to her late father and all the ancestors of the Mai family.

It was horrific.

Two months, and she still hadn't managed to solve this issue by the slightest. She remained exactly where she started. With her relatives unwilling to bulge, and her with nothing to do.

As things had been for the past seven or eight years of her life, ever since her father had died.

Sometimes she wished her father was still alive, or had died later so that he could have appointed someone who wanted to be heir. But he hadn't, and now she was stuck with the burden with nothing she could do about it.

Not to mention that she was now regularly serving under someone who disliked her to her very core.

Myrina was fine with it, really. Ryan had rarely been open about it ever since she'd started working directly under him, perhaps having realised how unprofessional that would be. But it still didn't mean Myrina didn't occasionally regret her decision to stay in the Scarlet Palace when she'd been offered the choice.

But she was done running now. Myrina Mai was twenty-two and done running. She'd been doing it for the past two decades of her life, and it was time to put a spot to it and face all the problems she had head on.

But there were so many.

And she couldn't even solve a single one.

She supposed she could ask for help. Ryan would provide it no matter what as long as she asked. But she simply couldn't bring herself to do it. She had her own pride too, and she wanted to do just this one thing by herself. She really wanted to. And she believed she could do it, no matter how difficult it may seem.

Her goals were simple. Get her relatives out of her estate. Get her brother back into Hong Cheng, or at least into said estate, which by then would hopefully be clear of her unwanted relatives. And then, to somehow aid Ryan until he was fully accustomed to his position and responsibilities (as if he wasn't already), and perhaps semi-retire from life at court to enjoy the simpler life she'd always wanted to.

Three short goals. Three simple goals. And she was somehow failing so miserably.

The letter from her uncle, she burned. She could memorise it after a single read anyways. There was no need to keep it. Having it as a physical copy on her desk would only make her blood boil every time she saw it.

That was one other thing she wanted to improve. To stop stressing herself out every time because she thought she needed to keep it in, rather than letting it out. It wasn't healthy. Besides, she was a countess. No matter how accidentally she'd gotten the title, it was hers now to keep, and she couldn't give it away if she tried. Myrina might as well used the power that came with it.

Until she chickened out every time she actually wanted to do so.

In her soul, Myrina Mai was a coward for whom running away was second nature.

That would not be easy to change. And every time Myrina failed, she thought that it would slowly become more and more impossible.

But there was no time for pessimism.

It was almost time for their weekly meeting. What had once been a bustling network of young nobles and politicians had dwindled into a pathetic round table meeting once a week where they discussed what they had been up to and felt nostalgic about the old days. For all her friends liked to talk about change and moving on, no one had really at all.

And Myrina thought it all started when Irina left. Irina, who was their cornerstone for so much of their lives, who'd been the ones giving the orders even though Ryan was the heir. At first Myrina hadn't been able to comprehend why Irina would think her cousin needed Myrina's help of all people. But after a few weeks she'd gotten it.

Ryan was a good leader. Yes. But he was good and kind and often indecisive. Nothing like Irina, who was able to make decisions that would haunt nightmares without blinking an eye. Irina operated on a strict do first regret later policy. Ryan did not.

And now everyone and everything just felt lost.

She'd finally accepted the offer of a few close maids in her apartments after she'd returned, and one of them, her favourite, a quiet girl by the name of Chunyi who had worked in her Palace for a few years already, was waiting outside her office. Myrina called her in, and without a single question, Chunyi helped her up and started making sure she was presentable.

"We have time before we go to the meeting," Myrina said softly. "No need to rush."

"Yes, ma'am."

It felt weird to have someone dress her and serve her. She'd refused all of that ever since she had inherited the title. It hadn't felt right. This hadn't felt like what she was meant to be. But she'd be lying if she said she hadn't started getting more comfortable in the past few years. There were some problems that money could solve, and this seemed to be one of them.

Chunyi smoothed Myrina's flowing silken dress, pulling straight her large sleeves and ensured that her head was properly tied up in a ji with a zhanzi, a hairpin. After that, the two began to slowly make their way out of the office. It was located within the palace where Ryan worked, so it was only a few steps as she left her room—on the left of the main building—and went to the back.

They had a small pavilion there. Once upon a time it would not have been large enough to house all of them. But now, with so few of them left, it was just enough.

The Diao sisters were in Arecia with Irina. Dom and Rhys were on a mission outside the city. North had returned to his estate after his own father had died in order to properly inherit, and from his letters it seemed he would not return until at least the beginning of next year. Danna was on a mission with her paramour, Io was gone as well, and among the girls, only Asteria, Myrina and Justine remained. With the men, it was only Malcolm and Ronan.

They weren't in their teens anymore. They were now adults, with actual responsibilities. They could not remain in the safe walls of the Scarlet Palace forever. And once some of them left, they never quite returned.

That was just how life worked.

Once upon a time Myrina would show up at these meetings behind Irina, a mere lady-in-waiting, never as her own person. She did little except listen and memorise everything that was said, and see what Irina decided was suitable and what was not as she debated with Ryan. If she opened her mouth, she'd either be served wide-eyed surprised looks, or her ideas would be swatted to the side.

It was better now, but she still didn't like to talk much. It was simply awkward, and she had no doubt that almost everyone present at the meetings knew far more than she ever would.

Her presence was always a bit of a mystery. People had always wondered why Irina kept her around. No one could really figure it out. She had no special skills to recommend herself—in fact, her overall personality did not fit life at court at all. More often than not she was invisible, and on some rare occasions, she could even be considered a liability.

But that was just because Irina wanted her to hide. Irina wanted her to be her secret weapon, a secondary plan just in case the first one went wrong.

But no one else knew that.

And so Myrina Mai acted more like an accessory than an actual member of the court.

She sat down, and Chunyi gave a small bow before heading off to where she'd stay until the end of the meeting. They didn't like having people around to listen in. They were still rather careful people, at the end of the day.

A few minutes after she'd sat down, the back door of the main building slid open, and out came Ryan. Today the Crown Prince of Sai was dressed in dark green, with a long robe that reached the ground, his hair tied half-up in a bun, the rest flowing behind him. He held a feather fan in his hand, and nodded as Myrina swept into a low curtsy.

She'd been told she didn't need to long ago. But she always thought that it was more right. Rules existed for a reason.

Some people were fine with neglecting customary manners if given the permission. Myrina was not one of those people. She liked to stick to formalities, because it reminded her of her position, of whom she must respect and who she was above.

"You're early."

Myrina was always early. So at Ryan's words, she simply raised her head and met his gaze. "Yes, Your Highness."

"Don't. Please, Myrina, please. Not the titles."

"I greatly prefer—"

"And I greatly prefer you calling me Ryan directly. Or Ruge. Either works. But the Your Highness and the Prince can be omitted. It truly is not necessary."

Myrina bowed her head as she stood, dusting her silken gown. "Of course. My apologies."

He looked like he was resisting the urge to scream. Sometimes, Myrina wondered why she felt the need to vex him like this. But no matter how many times he told her to stop being so formal, she simply couldn't bring herself to do it. She was raised in a household where rules were rigid. And had she become a priestess like she'd wanted to, the rules would be how she lived her life. It was not a part of herself she could shed easily, and it wasn't a part she necessarily wanted to shed in the first place.

So instead, she sat down and poured herself some tea.

The others came trickling in a little while later. Asteria strolled in, as elegant as ever, offering Ryan a nod of greeting before settling besides Myrina. The two shared a smile. They'd always had some sense of camaraderie. Asteria was probably the second most quiet person among all of them, so the two of us enjoyed each other's presence greatly.

It was then Ryan said, "Oh, I forgot to mention. Naeva is coming in today."

Myrina turned to the Prince, blinking. "Does today's topic concern her?" That would point to their discussion involving Gira, of which Naeva was now a leading expert on according to Irina and the others. Sometimes, Myrina wondered if the interest was genuine, or if she just wanted to escape.

She knew what that felt like.

"Slightly, yes, Countess."

Myrina dipped her head and said no more.

Justine came in with Malcolm, the two leading military figures in the nation. Next came Ronan, who raised one brow as he swept the people already gathered and sat down without another word. Somehow, he still had not yet escaped his rebellious stage. At this point, Myrina was tempted to think it was his personality all together, full stop.

At least, until Rhys came back to get him back in line.

He'd been like that for a while. A little bit disturbed, a little bit not there. Myrina recognised that too. Trauma. He'd gone through something bad—Myrina wasn't sure what—and had never quite recovered himself. Whatever it was, she'd never been informed of it, and she knew better than to go around asking and prying.

Besides, he didn't seem to have it nearly as bad as someone such as Io, who hadn't been the same since a mission a few years ago. Once again, she hadn't been informed what had happened, but she'd heard that it was about another agent. A boy.

That was one reason why she'd wanted to become a priestess. She'd never have to worry about issues of the heart. Never have to worry about having her feeling stomped in the mud. Her pride, she could take. Her heart? She'd always been a soft child. She'd never been strong, never been like Irina or Justine. She was not a survivor who fought. She was a survivor who'd ran and hid until she'd somehow managed to make it through alive.

That was nothing to be proud of.

It was why she'd always kept so quiet around these people. There wasn't a single one of them who wasn't far better than her. She knew why Irina kept her around. Knew why she had a use, but at the same time, she'd never done anything. She'd never been great, and she'd never be great. All her friends will go down in the history books as heroes and legends, and she'd be forgotten. No one would record down Myrina Mai, Countess of Li Han, because she was not capable of achieving anything great. Or anything at all.

She couldn't even get a few relatives out other own estate. Her birthright. Her entailment. It was all hers, and she had no control over it. None at all.

Was there anything more pathetic than that in this world? Myrina did not think so.

But that was enough self-pitying. She had far better things to be doing than thinking about how sad her life was.

And at last, Naeva Li came, dressed in a silken dress of the palest yellow, a colour that only made her pallour look more sickly and sullen. She'd never been a happy girl. Myrina could see that much. But she hadn't looked nearly this bad a few years ago.

She glanced at Malcolm, who was one half of the reason for all this, and noticed that he was desperately trying to not look in his young fiancee's direction.

Neither of them wanted to marry each other, Naeva and Malcolm. But there was family and friendship and blood in this engagement. Neither of them could back out now, not even with Malcolm's womanising and Naeva's apprehension. It was far too late. Their fate had been set in stone the moment that engagement had been announced and made.

Sometimes she wished she could scoop up Naeva and give her a hug, to protect her from the rest of the world. Give her the protection Myrina herself had never gotten.

Both of them had lost their mothers early on. But while Myrina at least still had her brother, Naeva's had died in battle a few years ago, one of the unfortunate casualties of the war waged against the Meliqueans. And while she'd never quite liked the elder Li, it did not mean she wished for him to be dead. It was a loss, and it was one Naeva felt more severely than anyone else.

"Ah, we're all here." Ryan had grown into his role a bit more now than when Myrina had first returned from Arecia. Sometimes, though, she could still see him glancing around in the awkward silences, ones that Irina would usually fill. But the Princess was not here now, and he was their sole leader.

"Apologies for my tardiness," Naeva said, dipping her head in a nod. "I underestimated the amount of time it would take to get here from the main Palace."

"It's alright," Ryan said with a wave of his hand. "This is your first time here anyways, is it not?"

"I've been here once before, long ago. Though I was only brought to the main building, and not the back."

"Ah, well, it is here where things actually happen," Ryan said with a warm smile. If Irina was the iron fist, Ryan was the velvet glove calming her down, balancing her out. And now, somehow, Irina expected Myrina to take her role. It was almost absolutely ridiculous. Asteria would be far better for that, but Myrina knew that she'd been chosen instead because Asteria was likely to marry a Caershireen, which would not be good for national security. Justine had not been chosen because she did not have a mind for politics—she was a general. Danna had been chosen for much the same reason as Asteria, not to mention her own temper, and so Myrina had been the only real choice left.

It didn't make her a good one, though. In fact, if you put everything aside, she was the worst choice out of all of the people who could have been chosen. But Irina had wanted a member of her own close circle aiding Ryan, and there was not much anyone could do about it.

Besides, Myrina didn't have to stay here forever. In a few years she'd most likely be gone. She just had to make sure she fixed everything she had in hand for now.

It would take some time, but she had to at least have a little faith in herself.

"I am honoured to be here, then," Naeva said swiftly.

Feeling the change in her tone, Ryan slowly sat down and began, "Well, let's get into business then. A few issues to discuss today—the first being the war."

And the air instantly turned somber. Asteria shared a glance with Myrina, who let her eyes shut and sighed. The war. Maybe a part of her had been hopeful enough to believe that the truce would be longlasting, but the rational part of herself had always known it was impossible.

"Any updates from the Meliquean side?" Justine asked, leaning back. "There's military activity at the borders of Lasyan, but nothing that's a real cause for concern just yet, I think."

"There's reports that Contreras is moving part of his army towards the Vayantean borders. It looks as if he wants to push further into Vayante. Which was what triggered the war in the first place."

Malcolm swore under his breath. "Well, shit. How long do we have?"

"The reports say two to three months before we pick up our guns again. Maximum."

Myrina felt her blood chill. Two to three months. Two to three months before the war horns sounded again. Far too soon. Far too soon.

She felt herself asked, "Could we not push it a bit further?"

Ryan's eyes flickered towards her. "I don't think so, no. If we try anything, we might make it even faster. If the Meliqueans are doing this, it means they're clearly prepared for battle to start immediately. We're not."

"We'll have to start now, then," Ronan growled. "We can't let them have any edge on us. And are our allies aware of this?"

"The Arecians know. I'm not sure about the Caershireens."

Asteria raised her chin. "I'll send a message."

"Thank you," Ryan sent her a look of gratitude. "I've already sent word to Irina either way, but I'm certain they already know. They have more eyes in Melique than we have."

"The Caershireens have plenty of spies there," Asteria pointed out.

"But not in the borders, I've realised. Most of them seem to dwell in the capital, near Ovienada."

Myrina, who was not well-versed about the topic of spies and where they were placed, did not question that. Not asking questions when they weren't wanted was one thing she'd been taught when she was younger.

You might be able to tell by now, but Myrina Mai did not have a very enjoyable childhood. After her mother died, her father had become distant, his temper volatile. He did not like her, or her brother, whom he blamed for the death of his wife. Looking at Myrina felt like looking at the woman he loved, who he'd failed to protect. Myrina understood his grief, but he'd handled it so horribly that he'd ended up pushing everyone away, even the people who needed him the most.

Myrina had practically raised Zihan, or Zach, her younger brother. And she'd been the one supporting him when he chose to leave Hong Cheng and their country estate to study elsewhere under a well-known but secretive master. Their father could not have cared less.

In that kind of environment, the two siblings had grown up under the greedy eyes of their relatives. Greedy eyes that wanted a taste of the earldom, of the title, and all the privileges and honours it brought.

It hadn't been a good time.

"If war's starting... how many would we send?" That question was from Justine, who looked concerned as she met Ryan's eyes. Myrina watched quietly.

"Match their numbers at the minimum. We need more information before we decide on that."

Justine gave a nod. "But we'll need to give the soldiers some kind of reminder and warning first. That it is time to prepare."

"Yes," Malcolm agreed. "We need to send out word that all the soldiers need to prepare to return."

Naeva heaved. "What if word gets out? That would only warn the Meliqueans that they have no time to spare. It might speed up the start of the war. We'll need to be careful with how much we let out."

A few years ago, Malcolm would have been nothing short of surprised with the words coming out of Naeva's mouth. These days he was more used to it, but he was still clearly uncomfortable. Myrina supposed that after all these years, Malcolm was unaccustomed to Naeva being... herself. Rather than the meek, placid young lady she played in public. But the Naeva in private, who was calculative, intelligent, and extremely bright.

Malcolm said, "I think we should risk it. We are prepared. Perhaps not to start the battle in say, the next week, but most definitely within a month. And if we start ramping up preparations, they will figure it out anyways. There's no real point in trying to hide it."

"But not yet." Naeva was insistent on that. Myrina wondered if her disagreement was due to an actual viewpoint, or simply because she did not want to agree with Malcolm on anything.

While she'd been passive about the engagement before, her signs of resistance had become more clear in the past while. Everyone was changing, and Naeva Li was one of them. Myrina rather wondered when Naeva would start her final stand, her final chance at blocking the engagement.

Her mother was dead and so was her brother. The only person she'd logically have to get through is her father, Sir Li. And, from what Myrina had observed, Malcolm himself.

Because as much as Malcolm does not get along with Naeva, or at least doesn't see her any more than a younger sister, he felt guilty for Naeva's brother's death. And with the Li family fortune dwindling and the Mans rising daily, Malcolm saw it as his duty to make sure the Lis remained alright. After all, Naeva's brother and Malcolm had been thick as thieves back in the day.

"That's a good point, Naeva." That was one good thing about Ryan. He did a good job making sure no one was left out. Not even her, even though she could practically see his teeth gritting every time she spoke and he didn't like it.

They didn't used to be like that. When Myrina had first came into the Scarlet Palace at age thirteen, as a companion for Irina and Justine and a fellow student in the Imperial Study, they'd gotten along. Back then, Myrina had been a little bit louder, a little bit more brave, a little bit more opinionated. Well, at least she'd been willing to show it. They'd gotten along for a year or two, until her father's illness had started worsening.

That was when the relatives had started coming in. And slowly, more and more, Myrina had wanted to escape.

And when she had nothing, she'd stumbled upon some old stories of mythology and religion. And she'd fallen in love with it. The idea of being able to live far, far away from her troubles, with her only duties being to pray and serve a goddess who might not even exist with all her heart...

It had sounded like heaven.

Myrina liked to think that was when she'd started changing.

here we go,,,,,