There will be a lot of crying in this so get your tissue ready cause my shirt is soaked.

Lightwood (Few Days later)

"Hey man." Jace knocked the door before he entered and Alec looked up from his iPad on his lap towards his brother. He sat on the bed with his back propped up with a pillow while his blanket pulled up till his stomach. The oxygen wire still attached to him along with his cardiac monitor that goes to his chest but it was pulled under his sleeve connected to the monitor.

The beeping sound echoed in the cold quiet room since Alec is in the private room, no other patients with him, his parents couldn't handle Alec was unable to rest from the last admission, he couldn't sleep the whole night being roommate with an old guy snoring till morning.

"Hey, what's up?" Alec asked after greeting his brother and saw Jace took a seat next to his leg on the bed. He put his long legs on the bed next to him while Alec still scrolling his iPad. "Feet off." His eyes didn't leave the screen but Jace knew better not too piss his older brother off. "Whatcha doing?" He asked while laying on his side on top of Alec's legs, bending his elbow so he could support his head on his palm.

"None of you business." He trailed his words off still scrolling through his iPad but in sudden movement, Jace snatched the iPad from his hand earning him a groaned, "Give it back." He asked but Jace refused and got off the bed and stood far away from him knowing he won't be able to get it.

"Woah." He said looking at the screen scrolling it up and down with his fingers. "Capri huh? Someone's going to Italy?" Jace questioned still scrolling the iPad. Alec turned to his side trying to get his legs out from his blanket while staring at his brother with a scowled on his face. "Give it back!" He raised his voice a little.

"Nice, beautiful beaches, great gals too, boy I would love to-"

"Give - it - back!" Alec screamed but Jace still ignores him and grinning like an idiot.

"I swear if I fall from this bed, it's on you Jace, answered that too mum." He threatened and soon as he heard the word mum, he flinched and quickly handed him the iPad and Alec smirked returning his legs back into the blanket.

"Thought so." He added while Jace sat by his side again at his earlier position and his face looks more annoyed, "Why are you looking up beaches? Shouldn't you be finishing Mrs Wilson's assignment?" He asked and Alec went back scrolling his iPad.

"I did, I submitted it this morning and she asked me about yours and like I said earlier, it's none of your business." He snapped and his eyes went back to the iPad. "I'm still working on it." He answered and plopped on the bed. Alec heard Jace huffed and lay down on the bed across his legs with his arm sprawled out.

"I wish you weren't this secretive around me. We always tell each other everything. I feel like you're going further and further away from me Alec." He said still staring at the ceiling but he had his arm folded under his head. He heard Alec shut the iPad off and sighed.

"I know, I'm sorry." He whispered and when Jace looked to his side, Alec was looking outside from his window, the sun shine directly in the room since it's already four in the evening. "I need to tell you something." He said still keeping his eyes on the window shield and he heard movement from his legs, he looked forward and Jace already sitting with his one leg crossed on the bed and the other dangled two feet from the floor.

"I don't know how much time I have." Alec started and Jace looks disappointed at his choice of word. "No! We promised not to talk negativity remember? Think positive and only positive vibes are in the house. Remember?" Jace reminded him and Alec stared at his face for a while, his tone is so desperate that for a while, he didn't want to tell him the truth, he wanted to nod and smile telling him everything will be okay but how long should he sugar coat his siblings. They deserved to know the truth, they deserved to know so they could enjoyed every single moment with the littlest time they had with him.

"Jace, we know this time it won't be like last time." He said and Jace shook his head. "No! You're stronger than before, you'll recover, there will be a donor Alec, trust me." He said holding out his palm for him on his knee. Alec looked down and grabbed it with his, their hand clutched together in a fist and Jace smile.

"I've been dreaming." Alec started and Jace's smile faded, "Every time I-" he stopped himself before he could continue, "When I collapsed, I always had a same dream. Ever since the accident." He looked up to meet Jace's eyes and he could feel how scared he looks and feel about this.

"I dream I was floating, on the ocean. But it wasn't a bad dream, it was actually rather good." He said, with a little smile and he continued.

"The water was so warm, so clear blue that I could see my own body swam in it. The white birds are flying over my head and the breeze is captivating. There was no sound except for the ocean and the wind, it was so quiet. Then I look to my side, you guys are standing on the boat, waving at me with the widest smile on your face. I thought that was it, that was my queue to say goodbye. That I would wave off and you guys would leave me in peace, but then I got scared. What if-"

He stopped himself again and tears began to pour out from his eyes. "What if I was afraid to be alone? What if I was drowning? What if I got lonely? What happened to mum if I leave? I couldn't leave her crying over me? I need to work harder as she is and every single time my thoughts went to that, I was pulled from the water and I woke up. Then I would said, not yet. I need more time."

Jace kept his silenced until Alec grabbed his hand again and he looked down holding back his tears, "I need to be in that water so I won't be afraid of drowning, that I know you guys would be okay if I leave."

Jace stood abruptly and start to pace back and forth, rubbing the back of his neck with his hand, he chewed his lower lips together. "You can't leave me Alec, it's not fair." Jace said and Alec looked at him with a sad look, "It's not up to me Jace, life isn't fair. There one person here waiting while his life being taken away from him while others ended theirs with no benefit of doubt."

Jace stopped pacing himself and stood in front of him holding the bed rails with both of his hand letting Alec continues. "I don't want to die either but if this is my fate then so be it, I will go with a bang." Jace scoffed before smiling at him but then when he looked at Alec's face, his tears starts to spill, his mouth chatters trying to hold his tears back.

"Come here." Alec hold out his arm for him and he stood his ground for a while before he went to Alec's side and hug his older brother in a tight embrace. "I can't let you leave without a bang." He said in between their hugs and Alec laughs.

The pulled away from each other and went back through the internet to search for the beaches that Alec found similar to his dream. They haven't been to many beaches yet but surely millions of google found search would help them find one to Alec's liking.

Bane

"Magnus." Asmodeus called as he saw him walking passed the hallway from the kitchen. He turned back and catches his father at the dining table with his - fiancé. "Join us." He said and Magnus looked to his father side and saw Charles with a look on his face pleading for him not to ruin the night.

He huffed before he scratched his neck and strolled into the dining area. A set of plate that complete with the silverware was placed next to his father which means across from the woman he despised.

He took a seat that Charles politely offered with a groaned and soon as the wine was poured, he gulped it down like water. "How are you Magnus?" Anna asked looking anxious as ever but kept her self calm like any of situation she deals with Magnus.

"Fine." He answered shortly and played with the food in front of him. "Thank you." Anna said and Magnus shot her a looked, "For what?" His eyes went back to his plate and the food was as dreadful as the atmosphere.

"For agreeing to come at the wedding." She said and Magnus scoffed. "Bet you couldn't wait to get your hands on my father's money." He replied and Asmodeus slammed the table hard with his fist. "ENOUGH!"

"What? Mad cause it was the truth?" He asked cynically and Anna wiped her mouth with the napkin on her lap before she tried to defend herself.

"I assure you that my interest was only your father's being. I'm not in for his money." She answered and again another scoffed from Magnus. "Tell that to the big rock on your finger." He spoke and earning his father another glare.

"Stop it." Asmodeus said but Magnus is having fun teasing his future mother, step- mother. "Come on father, aren't you a little curious? How would she react if you didn't have all of this money huh? If he would proposed to you with nothing but a plain cheap fake ring to you, what you say?"

He was good at bringing people down and he's planning to do that on her but she isn't any ordinary woman that being let down, not even a teenage brat who didn't even finish his high school to stomp her beneath his feet.

"As the matter of fact, I couldn't care less. I was born in poverty so I won't let some kid who had silver spoon feeding him for the rest of his lives to think I was below him just because his father wants me to become part of your life." She snapped and it made Magnus infuriated. He stood from his seat looking at her angrily but she wasn't threatened at all by him.

"You know nothing of me, of us." He snapped back at her and this time Asmodeus stood on his feet, "I said ENOUGH! Magnus apologized, now!"

He looked at his father with a scowled face and smirked, "I would rather have her apologized to me for ruining my life." He said with a smug look on his face.

"What's with you? What I did wrong to you that you have to be like this? I have given you everything you wanted in this world. Everything that you have asked. Things that other kids are dying to have, but couldn't and you could. Your car? Your money, your clothes, roof over your head, full plate for you to eat. What else you want? Why would I bother giving you chances to change. You are nothing but selfish and spoiled brat like you ever will." Asmodeus began to question his son but Magnus kept his eyes towards the wall in front of him before he shot his father a stare.

"Because it isn't what I NEED! You could have given everything that I wanted but never what I needed! I needed a mother when I was growing up but she left, I needed my father to show me how to ride a bike, or how to shave or how to fall in love. But you weren't there, you were never there for me! But instead you shoved a fucking butler to attend all my need and you dare asking me what you went wrong?!" Tears spilled from his eyes as he ended his sentenced. His father was stunned at the words as well as himself.

He never thought he had it in him to tell him that but he guesses that its about time for them to have this conversation, only if it would be a different circumstances rather than in front of his fiancé.

"Magnus.." Asmodeus tried to say something but Magnus held his finger up silencing him.

"I told you I'll be at the wedding, but I didn't say I'll make it easier for both of you. You may promised her an eternal life of happiness but I promise her an eternal life of misery." He pushed the chair back harshly and let it fall on the ground with a loud noise and headed up to his room.

Asmodeus was left stunned at his own son behavior and finally fell on the chair with tears in his eyes. "I failed him so many time." He whispered and Anna stood wrapping her arm around his shoulder. Tears spilled from his eyes as he said those words and the words pierced through his heart like knives.

"Sir, if I may?" Charles spoke from the door as he heard the whole conversation with him being dragged into it. Asmodeus looked up and nodded, Charles stood with a white towel on his arm, he always looked so lean and his face never showed any expression. If he is happy or sad or angry, it will always be this stoic expression that confuses people sometimes.

"The boy is hurt, telling that you were never there for him. Its a simple solution. Take him out for a vacation as a family. Showed him that you still care like you always do but failed to tell him so. You two need to work things out before this house start to become a building instead of a home."

"All three of you." He said the last word before he exited the room and leave them alone to console each other while he went to check on Magnus.

As he knocked the door, he could hear nothing for an answer so he entered anyway. He was the only person in the house that could do it without receiving any lashes from Magnus. As he entered, the room is dark and clutters with books, papers and the chair by his table were upside down but Magnus were not around.

He trashed his place in anger and Charles sighed before heading towards the balcony seeing it opened wide letting any stranger to enter and the wind from the outside send shivers to his bone in his body. He stepped outside and saw Magnus stood on the rail like he always do whenever he had an argument with his father.

He could hear him sniffed before wiping his face quickly with his hand. He wasn't surprised to see him since it has been that way in forever.

"Good show." He said and Magnus snorted, wiping his nose with his hand again.

"I hate him Charles. I hate what he did to me. I just wish I wasn't born in this kind of family. I just want a stable parent who loves me and remembers what I like or dislike. That they would tucked me in bed and kiss me a goodnight kiss. That would tell me how much they are proud of me. That would cook my favorite food instead of not knowing what I like the eat." More tears spilled as he wiped them harshly with his sleeves.

"Maybe you should. I would trade you for some kid in China, he won't even notice. That liver was hard to cook and thank you for not eating them." Magnus chuckled with a smile but kept his gaze down to his legs. "Not funny." He said and saw Charles took a step closer and leaned against the rail.

"Some people are gifted with what you have in the world but in exchange, they have other problems. There always the triangle of life." He explained and Magnus looked at him intensely waiting for his words.

"You were gifted with money, health but never the time. Time that consumed by your father not showing how much he cares for you. There are other people who had other gift. They were gifted with health, the time but never the money. But there are few of them, who had been gifted with poor health, some money but little amount of time left to be in this world. Never got a chance to see the beauty on this world right before their eyes."

"Your father may not be able to show you how much he loves you, but he showed you by showering you with everything he had, getting you out from trouble. Doesn't mean that he couldn't be the father you wanted he wasn't the father you needed. Other's crave for a father, just like yours, although his foul mouth need to be fixed a little. But, rather than to have an abusive one, or maybe a drunk one or worst, the dead one, he's a catch." He winked at him and he looked down at his hand wrapped around his knees before he looked into his eyes again.

"What would I do without you?" He said after a while of silenced. "You'll perished and die." He answered and Magnus chuckled and then it turned into a laughter which then followed by Charles snickered.

"Dad?" Magnus called after he knocked the office door and found his father sat on the leather couch in front of the fire staring deep into his thoughts.

"Where's Anna?" He asked his father that look stuporous with a drink on his hand. "Left." Was the only thing he said before sipping the last drop of whiskey in his hand.

"C-Can we talk?" Magnus asked slightly frightened at his father still haven't decided to turn and looked at him. He nodded for an answer and it was enough for him.

"I-I'm sorry daddy." He said and Asmodeus quickly turned his head to his side and found Magnus, his only son stood behind the couch with his hand wrapped around his body and tears spilling on his face. He looked so broken and he was half at fault.

He stood and went to him not saying another word but wrapped his arms around his son body. He break into a sob and his body shudders under his father's warm embrace. "I'm sorry too." He said and Magnus pulled back from their hug.

"I know it wasn't your fault for mum but I -" he was cut off by his father finger on his lips.

"You were right, I was never there to help you grow up and I felt guilty about it. It feels like overnight when I watched you grow. It happened so quickly and by the time I realized it, you already hating me. I know I should be there to guide you into manhood but every time I looked at you, I looked at myself and how my marriage ended you by being motherless and I could never let myself being heartbroken again."

Magnus stared at his father's face before he could comprehend what he just told him. His father was hurting too, he never let anyone into his life because he was so focus on raising him. Just like he did to his own life now, never let anyone into your heart or you'll end up getting your heart broke and the feeling was agony as what people told him. He never did experienced what its like to love someone that they could take your breath away.

"I was thinking, maybe we could take a little vacation together and you get to know Anna a little better, just the three of us. Maybe Charles so four of us." Magnus chuckled and nodded, "Where?" He asked and his father shrugged, "I don't care, you picked and I let my people know. It's your choice but not too extreme, I need to walk on my wedding." He added and Magnus smiled, "Okay then."

Few days later.

"Have you decided where we should go yet?" Asmodeus asked as they were enjoying their breakfast before sending Magnus off to school. "I did." He pulled out his iPad for his father and showed him the plan.

"You sure?" He asked and he nodded, grinning ear to ear. "You don't want anything else? Across the country maybe, money is not the issue you know." He asked him again handing his iPad back but he shook his head, "Nope, positive with this one, plus summer break is few weeks away. We could spend maybe around five days the least?" He asked and Asmodeus took a sip of his coffee before he answered.

"Yeah sure." He said. "Hawaii it is. There goes my plan to bring her there for our honeymoon." He commented the last one with a smile but quickly covered it with his coffee cup.

"Don't be cheap, take her some place nice, Hawaii is cliche for romantic getaway." Magnus added before he took the last sip of his coffee and stood from the chair strapping his bag across his chest.

"So family-moon isn't cliche for you?" He asked as Magnus was about to reach the door, "By that word itself already a cliche father, bye!" He shouted as he turned and headed out from the house.

"Thank you Charles." He added as he poured him another cup of coffee. "My pleasure sir." He said hiding his smile behind him but the heaviness in his chest lifted immediately after their conversation.

Lightwood

"Ready?" Maryse asked Alec as he saw him trying to get out from the bed. He fixed the wrinkle on his shirt as he stood wiping some of it off but failed and choose to ignore it.

"Yup." He said. He was discharged by the doctor at his own request promising that he would not returned again ever. The joke may be old but somehow its a hope he still grasp on edge.

Jace brought the wheelchair inside the room and Alec stood carefully with the help of his mother. He doesn't need the oxygen anymore and slowly the color has returned back to his skin and from pale bluish to slight pink and white. His lips aren't so blue but the doctor still afraid he might had another episode but Alec guaranteed it would hold it off till his vacation is over.

"Dad's waiting at the car in the lobby. Let's go then." Jace wheeled him out followed by Maryse and they left the hospital ground in minutes.

Alec couldn't help but feeling his heart fall in the pit of his stomach when he saw his father turned on the road and the hospital view became further away from him. He couldn't help but to think the next time he saw this building, it would be his last. He might went in alive but who knows how he would come out after. Probably in a body bag from the basement, he thought.

The thoughts somehow frightened him and the look on his face was actually readable. When he turned to his side, Jace was looking at him as if he knew what he was thinking but instead he looked at him, assuring him that everything will be okay. He smiled his half smile before he exhaled a long breath he didn't know he was holding. Jace tapped his shoulder lightly before returned his gaze to his side of window.

As the lane changed, the streets vary from the previous one he saw and he knew his home is closer.

When his father pulled by the driveway, he saw Max running out from the house with Izzy followed behind. They were so happy he was finally back home and Alec could smile happier. His face was sincere since he misses home and he would rather be here than anywhere else.

"Alec!" Max jumped up and down for his arrival and how he wished he was strong like he used too to carry him around but he just pat his back while they both walked inside side by side.

The doctor warned him not to walk a lot or do any physical activities as much so they moved his room downstairs and after he entered the house, the scents finally hits him hard. He's gonna miss this, more than anything, but again, they will miss him more than he is, who knows what happened to people when they die.

"Are you hungry?" Isabelle asked him but he shook his head declining her offer not to be rude but he just wanted to be alone.

"Thanks Izzy but I think I'm gonna lie down for a while." He said as he walked to his room leaving his family behind questioning their own thoughts.

Little do they know was that, as soon as he closed his bedroom door, he bursted in tears, leaning against the bedroom door. He can't imagined what it's like to not see all of this anymore. He couldn't figure out why this time was any difference. Why is it this time he became so emotional in everything he sees and touches would be the last one he did.

After his sobbing faded, he climbed to his bed and lay on his side before letting sleep took over him.

"Family meeting in five minutes." Robert said to all of them at dinner table and they all looked at each other before turning to Alec. Dinner was quiet and it seems like everyone is in their own thoughts, few conversation exchanged but then again silenced, Alec mostly.

After the dishes, all of the Lightwood gathered around their living room sitting on the couch. Alec sat in between of Jace and Isabelle with Max on Jace's lap while Maryse and Robert on the couch next to them. They all waited for what their father had to say but Alec knew what he was actually going to say.

"Alec had proposed an excellent idea for all of us to go on family vacation. It's been a while but I think its what we all needed. He suggested we should go to Hawaii together. It's still reachable if they called him for donor so we could be there in time." Robert started looking at his children before him with his arm wrapped around his wife's shoulder.

"Wait what?" Isabelle asked and Max was already cheering in happiness, unaware of the idea behind it.

"But shouldn't you be resting instead of traveling?" She asked concern of her older brother but Alec looked to his side to assure her. "I think it's a good idea Izz." Jace added but she glared back at him.

"What are you not telling me? Why this time is so different? No one barely said any word at the dinner table and Alec was discharged early? Earlier than usual." Isabelle was actually a clever girl for able to pick up all the pieces and put together. "Izzy." Alec tried to talk to her but she already on the verge of crying.

"Why Alec? Just tell me please." Her begging was too convincing and Alec couldn't bear his heart to let her cry.

"It is different this time. Cause the next time it happened, I won't make it out." He said and Izzy bursted into her tears. "Then maybe you should be at the hospital, not here." She suggested but Alec smiled pulling her to his chest.

"Because I don't want regrets, I want to spend every seconds I have with you guys." He said and he couldn't let his tears fall, he has too smile, for her, for them.

"Alec, where are you going?" Max asked and Maryse couldn't bear his heart anymore, she stood and ran to the kitchen trying to hold her tears but failed. She sobbed into a full sobbing as she pressed her palm on her mouth silencing her sobs.

"Max, come here." He asked him to climb on his lap while Izzy break from his hugs and sat facing them. Robert had gone to the kitchen trying to console his wife. "You know I'm always sick, and I have been going to hospital a lot right?" He asked softly and he nodded.

"Because soon, someone will need me up there." He pointed towards their ceiling and his five year old brother looked up literally, "Upstairs? Who?" Jace and Isabelle chuckled at his innocence but their eyes are red with tears.

"Up as in heaven Max, they need me there." He told him silently, trying so hard not to break. "Why? I need you here." He asked again. "I know but you will have Jace and Izzy so they will help you, they don't have anyone else but me. I was chosen." He tried to explain but this boy was not stupid, he had more bow in his quiver of whimsey.

"But what about mummy? She will be sad if you're not here." He said and Alec inhaled sharply trying not too break. "She has you." He said but his lips trembled in those words. "What about you? You won't have any of us there with you." Alec smiled cupping his cheek, "I'm here, and I will always be here with you." He said pointing at his chest.

For some reason, he didn't say anything else but nodded. Alec pulled him to his chest and Izzy rested her head on Alec's shoulder. Jace stood wiping her face with his finger and turned quickly before anyone noticed his tears but Alec saw and heard him sniffled.

He let him left the living room and the house has yet became silenced again.

A/N: If I had a dollar for each tears shed from my stories, I would be rich.. Just kidding. Hope you guys love this.