Hiiiiiii doing another boyfriend application cus I'm sad bored and alone on Christmas

Changed my mind, answering kinda philosophical questions because why not. I'm in the mood to overthink

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1. When was the last time you tried something new?
I cooked tilapia yesterday and it came out pretty fire.

2. Do you think crying is a form of strength or weakness?
Weakness...most of the time.
Come on, you never look at someone sobbing their eyes out and thing "dayum...that guy's strong" unless they've just accomplished something super difficult.
For me it's a sign of vulnerability.

3. Are you living or existing?
As of right now...existing.

4. Are you holding something you need to let go of?
Yes.

5. How old would you be if you didn't know your age?
My mind, I feel, fluctuates between seven and thirty-five.

6. What makes you smile?
Plenty of things.
And people tell me to frickin smile more all because when I don't I look like I'm mad at the world. They don't understand 😒

7. When was the last time you listened to your own breathing?
A very...very long time.

8. What has life taught you recently?
My overthinking habits and my history has made my emotions fairly self-centered...and that's a problem I need to fix.

9. Can you describe your life in a six word sentence?
One long & interesting stream of consciousness.
(The & isn't a word, shuddup -.-)

10. If we learn from our mistakes, why are we so afraid to make mistakes?
Because, a lot of the time, what comes with learning the lesson from the mistake comes pain and consequences...and a lot of the time we don't know if it would be worth it.

11. If life is so short, why do we do so many things we don't like and like so many things we don't do?
We do so many things we don't like because, possibly, we think it'll be worth it and give us that thing we're craving because it seems to work for everyone else.  That's one possible reason.
And we like so many things we don't do because...I dunno, we're too scared to do it ourselves (could be because of society, our environment, or self-consciousness) and so seeing other people do them can satisfy us enough.

12. Is it more important to love or to be loved?
To love. You can receive all the love in the world but if you don't love yourself or other people or anything for that matter...what's it all for. You'll be numb for nothing. How are you going to enjoy the love if you can't love yourself?

13. What small act of kindness were you once shown that you will never forget?
A teacher gave me a piece of candy when I was having an extremely shitty day and I had to keep from breaking down into tears in front of him. A light in the seemingly endless darkness my mind was in.

14. What is your #1 goal for the next six months?
I guess make it through my sophomore year...?

15. If you could live one day of your life over again, which day would you choose?
Instantly my first thought goes to the day I went bowling with my friends for the first time. Seriously one of the best days of my life. I felt no anxiety, I wasn't self-conscious, and I wasn't thinking about school. I think I nearly cried when I went home that night because I hadn't been that happy in a long time and I couldn't believe the day didn't crash and burn in the end. I'm about to cry now lol. Thank you for the invitation, Oui Oui Papi, you don't know the impact that day had on me 🤍