Word Count: 1893

~Lavelle

Everything feels distant, like my head is submerged underwater.

Vaguely, I'm aware I'm at my wedding reception, in Avi's ballroom. I know I'm in his arms, sharing a dance with him while every watches from the side. I'm aware of the weight of my new wedding ring, of the marriage contract I numbly signed.

Vaguely, I'm aware that nothing in my life will ever be the same.

My vision is fuzzy, blobs of colour forming non-distinct shapes in front of me. The breast of Avi's royal blue jacket, the bronze filigree on his shoulder, and the gold of his smoothed back hair.

His voice rumbles through me as he speaks, but I can't make our his words.

I'm married, the day after I kissed Zyre. I've sealed myself to another male, and I cannot go back. I am Luna now, and this is my life.

Avi leans his head close, chasing clarity back into me.

"We married, can you believe it?" He twirls me around, my pale white dress swaying against my legs. I received dancing lessons all the way up to the wedding, so I feel less like I am publicly humiliating myself in front of all these noble people.

Even if I still feel violently out of place.

"It doesn't feel real yet," I admit, hoping he can't feel how clammy my hands are in his.

No one is treating me as I did before. Avi walked me around the reception earlier, introducing me to important nobles and others I've seen at passing at his parties, and each one of them drenched me in compliments, bowing and scraping for my approval.

Is this what power feels like? It's already making me uneasy.

"It will." He looks over my shoulder, smiling. Somehow, it feels a little patronising, like he's amused I'm not catching onto what he's saying. "Are you happy?"

I frown a little, tightening my grip on him.

Am I happy? I'm overwhelmed, and a little frightened for the future. But I will be happy, soon. I'll settle into my new life, and come to love it, as well as Avi.

He ducks his head into my view, his brows raised, trying to get my attention.

"Um, sorry?" I shake my head a little.

"Lavelle, are you happy to be married to me?" He looks a little hurt, recoiling a touch.

"Of course," I jump to say brightly. "I'm looking forward to getting to know you even better."

Maybe that's where my reservations are coming from. I feel like I've spoken to Avi so much, yet I don't know him at all. Not in any way that truly matters. I can only hope he will be more honest with me moving forward, letting me deeper into his life.

"As am I. You're the most interesting person I've ever met," he breathes, tucking me closer against him.

I glance up at his face. "I am?"

He doesn't really know that much about me either. There's only so much I can tell him without explaining my situation with my father. I intend to get to it very soon, I'm just waiting for all the wedding celebrations to die down.

"I get the feeling I haven't learnt much about you yet, and I like that." We brush past another couple dancing, who are gawking at us. "We have so much of our lives together to explore that."

I sigh, relieved. At least we're on the same page about that.

"That's exciting. I can't wait," I tell him earnestly.

The music settles, transitioning to a new song. Avi lets me go, putting a step of space between us. I resist the urge to move closer, not wanting to be left alone at this gaping reception where I only know Mel and Zyre.

"I better go speak to some more of our guests," he says, stepping back. "Enjoy the party, alright? It's all for you."

I respond with a tentative smile before he walks away, joining a group of his friends I've only been introduced to once.

Stepping off the dancefloor, I shrink back into the far wall.

Everyone here wants to appease me, but no one wants to get close to me without the Alpha by my side. Instead they stare from a distance, examining every inch of me visible beneath all this lace and tulle.

I scan the room, arms wrapped around myself. Mel excused herself to get refreshments, but probably has gotten mixed up with her high society friends, who suddenly seem accepting of me.

Even Elspeth congratulated me.

Deep in my sulking and feeling sorry for myself, I don't even notice Zyre walking up to me until he's right in front of me.

"The ceremony was beautiful," he says by way of greeting.

I straighten, adjusting the skirt of my dress busily. It feels weird being so close to him after last night. We kissed, and then he told me I needed to leave. He even packed my suitcase for me.

I refuse to let him think the kiss is haunting me, even though it very much is.

"It was, wasn't it?" I ground my gaze on Avi, my husband. Zyre can be as mysterious and attractive as he wants to me, I'm not going to notice anymore.

"Do you believe you made the right decision?" He looms closer.

I risk a glance at him, my stomach tumbling over itself. I hate how effortlessly good he looks in his formal wear, which is cut to the hard lines of his body perfectly.

For someone who didn't think I should be marrying Avi, he really dressed up for our wedding.

"It's done now," I muse, looking down at the drink in Zyre's hand. I shouldn't drink alcohol tonight, considering I'll be sharing a bed with Avi for the first time, and I want to be aware.

But right now, it's suddenly tempting.

Zyre shrugs with one shoulder, looking at Avi. "You cannot say I did not warn you."

I sigh. He loves saying that, which makes me think that what is coming, is orchestrated by him, and absolutely terrible.

"You didn't warn me. Not truly," I exclaim lowly under my breath.

People are already watching us converse, wondering why I'm speaking to Avi's mysterious visitor and not my husband. I don't them overhearing our strange, borderline nonsensical conversations.

He steps closer, possible rumours meaning nothing to him as he leans closer, his expression cloaked in a mask of utter seriousness.

"Perhaps you'll consider this warning," he murmurs. "Do not sleep with Avi tonight."

I pull back, my heart jumping into my throat. "Why not?"

"He instructed the maids to avoid putting any birth control tonic in your tea. Even if you insist." He says it so lowly, I almost don't catch it over the swell of the music.

His words are so shocking, though, that I can't help but take notice.

Ever since Avi and I had a conversation in my room about conceiving children and being grateful when it happens, I've been personally seeing to it that the maids at the tonic to my tea. They nodded along vaguely, although not once have I ever seen them do it.

I never thought, for even a moment, that they wouldn't. But if Avi instructed them, they would have to listen to him over me.

I scan Zyre's face sceptically. "How do you know about—"

"You are currently fertile. If you sleep with him, there is a chance..." He breaks, exhaling slowly. He's mad, trying his best to reign it in.

My hands lay over my stomach. The thought of carrying Avi's child so soon makes me want to be ill.

"He told me he would have the maids add it," I say.

"He lied," he says grimly.

Zyre has every reason to lie — he's been so insistent about Avi and I not marrying, that this could be a ploy to destroy it before it's barely started.

But what if he's telling the truth? He clearly knows more than he's letting on, and he looks too concerned to be lying about it. Plus, the way Avi spoke about having children together so shortly raised alarm bells in the back of my mind from the moment he said it.

"Why would he do that?" The lights in the room tilt a little, dizziness striking me.

"The sooner you are carrying a child, the better."

"I..."

"If you do wish to sleep with him despite what you've learned, then take this." He lifts the glass he's been holding the entire time, the contents tinged pinkish. "It's enough to stop him impregnating you for one night. You'll need—"

"Okay yeah, fine. I get it. Give it here." I snatch it from his hands.

This is just to be safe. I'm sure this is a misunderstanding, which Avi will clear up later tonight. But the extra precaution will put my mind at ease.

I tip back the contents of the drink, draining it all to the last drop.

I wince. "Fuck, that's sweet."

It tastes like honeyed syrup, coating the inside of my throat, making me cough. It tastes nothing like any birth control tonic I've ever taken before.

Zyre gently pries the glass from my hand, setting down on a table close to him.

"I'm sorry," he whispers, watching me brush away a stray droplet of the drink from my lower lip.

His entire demeanour has suddenly changed. He's gone from looking tense, to regretful. He hovers close, dark eyes scanning my face.

"About?" I ask distractedly. The tonic is making my stomach turn uneasily. This must be a blend unique to what is offered in the palace. I can only hope it is effective.

Zyre drops his voice. "I just drugged you."

"You what?" I look from the empty glass on the table to him, resisting the urge to retch.

"You'll knock out soon." He takes my arm to steady me. "I need you to stay in your room tonight. You cannot come out."

My head suddenly feels thick with tension, a dark vignette pressing against the outside of my vision. I sway, but Zyre's hand keeps me from stumbling.

"You bastard. You...fuck I don't feel good." I waver uneasily, instinctually reaching out to steady myself against him. My legs are weakening, the sound of the party thumping distantly in my ears.

He's betrayed me...I knew he would. And now, I don't know what he's going to do to me.

"Relax into me. I'll take you upstairs, claim you had a bit too much to drink." He pulls me closer, and I don't have the strength to resist him.

I sag into his body, his arms wrapping around me. I'm sure people are looking, wondering why I've tumbled into this man's arms, yet they won't do a thing about it.

No one is going to save me.

"Fuck...you..." I groan against his chest, desperately fighting unconsciousness.

But there is nothing I can do, as it claims me.

🖤••🖤

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