Songs for this chapter are:

When We Were Young- Adele (Guys, I just saw Adele in concert this weekend and it was a life changing experience for me. She was perfection and I'm kind of even more in love with her) 

Love You in in the Dark- Adele (did i mention she's amazing live?)

Say You Won't Let Go- James Arthur (I'm obsessed with this song)

Love You Goodbye- One Direction

Assassin- John Mayer

...

Landon's POV.

I push past Dakota and stand in front of Nora. "A husband?" I ask her. My voice is high, broken at best.

She blinks at me and we both hear Dakota approaching behind us. Nora sighs, "It's a long story."

A long story?

A long story is adding a lot of details to something. A long story is much simpler than a secret freaking husband. This is worse than her being a spy. Much worse.

"A story you didn't share me with me." I quietly remark. "That's a pretty important story."

Nora nods, her stature is calm and collected, the exact opposite of me right now. I feel like I'm being stuffed into a closet that's too hard to escape. Is she worth all of this trouble?

I look at her and look inside of her. I explore her, remembering how much progress we made tonight. The memory of her laughter rings through my head. The way her fingers feel massaging my skin and the way her sweet mouth tastes.

Another thing I can't forget is how she makes me feel so good about myself. She deserves something for that.

"I'm not going to stand here and fight with her all night," Nora whispers to me, just out of Dakota's earshot.

Dakota clearly has other plans. It seems that she wants to do just that. Her voice is loud.

"Oh, so you didn't tell him? Well, don't feel too bad, she didn't tell us either until we got a bill for him." Dakota keeps harping and one of these words is going to cause one of us to snap. It's like the whistling of the wind just before a storm, you can feel it coming.

"It wasn't any of your business, Dakota. And it still isn't. I didn't tell you anything about my life because it doesn't concern you. You're not entitled to know what's happening outside of that apartment. The only thing you should be concerned about is whether or not I paid the rent."

Dakota snaps her mouth shut and opens it again. "You-"

"Both of you-stop it! We aren't going to stand here and bicker all night." I look at both of the women wearing matching expressions. "Stop it." They both look so surprised to be called out.

"We aren't bickering," It's Dakota who talks first. "Just tell her lying ass-"

"Stop it!" I raise my voice. Dakota's eyes widen.

Nora is silent, staring at me with me with calm eyes. I need to talk to her, alone. With Dakota here nothing is going to get resolved. "Dakota. Go home, I'll come get you in the morning. Text me your flight and I'll see if I can get on it. But you need to go, now." I look at her to make sure she knows I'm serious.

"You're choosing her over me?" Dakota asks and my stomach aches. I know what she's thinking, after all this time, all of our memories, I'm choosing a stranger over her. I wish she didn't see it that way, but I can understand why she would.

"This isn't a competition. If you don't go, there's no chance I'm going with you tomorrow."

She stares at me, waiting for me say another word. I don't. I turn to Nora and she watches Dakota walk away behind me. I can see her from the corner of my eye and if she says another word, I may lose my temper. I'm fuming, irritated at both of these unpredictable women and at myself for not keeping a better hold on what's happening in my life.

Nora slowly drags her eyes up to mine. "I-"

I hold my hand up, letting her know it's my turn to talk. It's funny how she chooses now to want to talk to me.

I keep my voice down and wait for a man walking his dog to pass by. The dog pees on a trash bag on the sidewalk. Lovely.

"Before you speak, just know that I'm done playing games here. I'm done with the questions and skipping answers. If you want to be a part of my life, you're going to let me be a part of yours. Think about this before you reply, I'm serious, Nora."

I don't know the extent of what I'm getting myself into, but I know nothing can be worse than being out here, unsure of who this woman truly is. I would like to think that I know her better than this, that there's some magical explanation behind her secrets, but staring back at her now, I'm just not sure. I wish I knew her and I miss our rooftop in Manhattan.

Nora's eyes are glossy when I look down at her. "Can I come up?" she asks and reaches for my hand. I pull away, but I lead her inside my building. 

...

Nora's POV.

Is the elevator always this loud? The swooshing of the air around us is making me nauseous. Or maybe it's just the inevitable talk I'm about to have with Landon that's clawing at my insides. Even the lights in the hallway feel brighter than they usually are. And we are walking abnormally slow. Part of me wants to tell Landon that I have to go and run away and never look back. I could erase him from my life just as quickly as he came into it.

He pushes the key into the lock and holds the door open for me to pass him. I walk under his arm and he clicks the lamp on. Under this light, he looks harsher, all angles and the softness of his lips is shaded by the darkness. Like this it's easier to imagine walking away from him. When the light is on and I can see his light, it won't be so simple.

Tonight has changed the way I look at Landon. Before Dakota showed up, I was getting to know a different side of him. I felt his pain and guilt and I saw him as a protector, a man doing his best in a tough situation.

"Do you want a drink first?" He asks and I follow him to the kitchen.

Not unless you have a bottle of vodka I can chug down?

Landon doesn't turn the light on and I listen for Tessa. The apartment is silent. She must be asleep or out. It's late, I don't even know what hour it is.

"A water. Please." I hold my hand out and he hands me a bottled water. He grabs himself a Gatorade and slams the fridge shut. Is he mad?

What a stupid question, of course he is.

I follow him to his room and he tells me he's going to take a quick shower. I don't know if the extra time will make this better, or worse. I nod and he turns his light on, grabs clothes out of his dresser, and leaves me alone in the room. I lay back on the bed and stare at the ceiling. So Landon is going to Michigan with Dakota. Just the two of them, their memories, and their hometown. I laugh a pathetic laugh at my own expense and hastily wipe the tears from my eyes. Her dad is dying, I'm being incredibly selfish by even thinking about myself right now. The sad truth about what happened to Dakota's brother was just one layer of what they have shared. I shouldn't have tried to come between them in the first place. I let myself get distracted and now everyone around me is suffering because of it.

Landon deserves a quiet life. He deserves to have peace and quiet and a calm love. He's steady, he's the kind of guy that makes sure things are okay. With him I wouldn't have to worry. But on the other side of the coin, he would be getting the short end of the stick. In trade for the comfort he would bring me, he would be given a hectic web that is my life. He has a nice family, not one driven by greed and notoriety. The tears burn the back of my eyes and I force myself to sit up and get my shit together. Sobbing on his bed and feeling sorry for myself isn't going to get me anywhere. Tonight is the last night that he's mine, the last time that I will feel his hands on me, if I'm lucky.

I climb off of the bed and walk to the bathroom. The door is unlocked and steam billows out into the hall. I close it quickly and lock the door behind me. I drop my clothes to the floor and take a deep breath before I step into the shower. Landon's body is under the stream of the shower and the water is coating his naked frame. His eyes are closed and his chin is lifted so his face is directly under the water. He doesn't make any move to let me know he's aware of my presence, but he doesn't flinch when I wrap my arms around his back.

I lay my cheek against his wet back and hold him. We stay like this for minutes, hours, who knows, and then he finally turns to face me. His hands wrap around my back and I lean into his chest. His heart beats for me and I mine aches for him.

When I put my fingers under his chin and try to kiss him, he turns his head. Pain slices through me. I better get used to this feeling. After I tell him everything and he spends time alone with Dakota, we will be done anyway. I knew this day would come since the first time I kissed him, but I hadn't expected to care as much as I do. He was supposed to be fun and I was going to be the fun older woman he could fuck for a few weeks and we would both go our separate ways. But now that he's turned away from me, I don't know how we got here. When did we cross the line from friendship to this?

What is this?

"I'm sorry about-" I start to apologize. I don't even know where to begin.

"Don't. Let's talk when we are...." He looks down at me. "Let's get dressed."

I agree with him, not because I want to, but because he does. When we step out of the water, he grabs a towel and turns to face me. Landon bends down and rubs the towel over my feet and up my calves, drying my skin. He's dripping wet himself, but here he is kneeling at my feet, worrying himself with drying me.

My throat burns with words for him, but I can't find them. I pull at his arms and make him stand to his feet. With the same towel he used, I lean down to dry his body. He doesn't stop me, he closes his eyes and I take my time collecting the droplets of water on his body. I ask him to sit down on the toilet so I can reach his hair, he obliges. His eyes and mouth are closed and I wish I could rewind to the first day I met him and have a do-over. If this was one of those fantasy books he likes, I could cast a spell and turn back time. I would concoct some type if truth serum to slip myself so I would be forced to tell him the truth from the start.

I reach for the pile of his clothes on the back of the toilet and take the black briefs in my hands. I bend down, touching his thigh and he lets me dress him. He bawls his fist, then flexes his fingers, and repeats this over and over until I'm finished. His green t-shirt is wrinkly and his wet hair is a mess on his head. It hurts me to look at him.

I dry my body the rest of the way and grab my black pants from the floor. He tugs at them and takes them from me. "I'll give you something to wear." He says, collecting my clothes from the floor. I wrap the towel around my body and follow him to his room. When the door closes behind us, I drop the towel. Landon's eyes rake over my naked body and I shiver under his gaze. He pulls his drawer open and hands me a pair of light gray briefs and a sleeveless shirt.

He doesn't look at me as I dress and my insides feel empty. I know it's a superficial thing, wanting him to crave my body, but him deliberately looking away from me gnaws at my insecurity.

When I'm dressed and feeling even more vulnerable than before, I sit on the edge of the bed. He takes a drink of his Gatorade and joins me on the bed. He hands me my water.

There's no point in stretching this out any longer. "I got married when I was nineteen." I say. Landon sucks in a breath and keeps his eyes level on the wall. "I did it for a number of different reasons. To rebel against my parents, to piss my in-laws off, to be able to go to college for free."

I didn't want a dime of my parent's money for college. Marrying Amir was the answer to that. Once married, my income was no longer based on my family's wealth.

"And where is your husband now?" Landon asks. If only it were that simple.

"My husband is in a field somewhere between here and Scarsdale."

That's where is spirit is, anyway.

Landon's forehead creases and he looks over at me.

"At first, we were just kids who signed a paper and were suddenly married. Both of us felt like we were getting out of the iron grip of our parents. We were in young love, the kind where everything is great until an actual problem comes along," I pause. Do you love me like that? I want to ask him.

"And so when real problems came up, like his drinking and failing out of college," I pause again. I should have written this down. It would have been much easier than explaining such a complex situation. "His parents started to blame me and threatened to cut him off financially. But I couldn't control him, I barely knew him anymore. But I tried, and of course he got angry with me. But he told me that his family wanted him to sign away some land they had purchased in his name. He didn't tell me why, but I did my own research and realized his parents were broke. They wanted him to give away his land, like his loyal brother had, but Amir refused."

I remember the day I had to drag Amir out of his father's office. He was livid, screaming that his dad was a fraud, a liar. He didn't speak the whole way home, but that was the day I realized I married a friend, not a lover.

"And what does this have to do with you now? Are you separated or not?" Landon asks.

I remember that he's young. Landon is too young to worry about separating and marriages and legal documents and deed to land. He doesn't understand the power struggle within a rich family. He's untainted and here I am staining him.

"Because," I drag a deep breath through my lungs. "Now that he can't sign anything himself, they expect me to just hand them over the land. But I won't. Amir doesn't owe his family anything and I don't either. They would have already unplugged him and let him die if it wasn't for me."

Landon jerks his head toward me. He probably doesn't understand anything I'm saying.

"Were you happily married before his accident?" He asks, putting two and two together. Why didn't I just tell him? Now that it's out, it doesn't seem so bad. I wish everything was simple. My problems provably sound like rich-girl problems, but that doesn't make them any less relevant in my life.

"No. We were childhood friends who made an adult decision when we weren't ready to. It was easier to stay married, but we were seeing other people. Well, he was."

"I'm missing a piece of this," Landon rubs his hand over the back of his neck. "How long has he been..."

"In care?" I answer for him. "He has an in-home system now. His own nurse at his house."

"Your house." He corrects me.

"Technically, yes."

"How else is there to be? Technically you're married and have an entire part of your life that you kept from me until someone else let the truth come out. Why didn't you just tell me any of this? I would have been able to deal with it, with you. But now everything about you seems fake and dishonest and I don't really know what to think."

I swallow. "I know. I'm sorry for dragging you into this."

Landon turns his body to me in a swift move. His eyes are harsh. "No. You didn't drag me into anything. You kept me on the outside until you couldn't anymore. God knows how long you would have kept me in the dark."

I shrug. I don't have an answer to that.

"You made it seem like you were sneaking around with your mystery husband, not that you had a loved one who can't take care of himself. Did you not think you could trust me with this? I really don't get it."

"It's not that I didn't trust you, but this is heavy shit. You're in college," I look down to his shaking hands in his lap and back up to his eyes. "You have exams to worry about and a life to live. You're young, you shouldn't be worrying about this kind of shit."

That does it.

"You don't tell me what I should be worrying about!" He stands to his feet and his arm swings across, knocking into the wooden headboard.

I join him on my feet. "You aren't even supposed to be this involved in my life!" I shout back at him. I hope we are alone in the apartment.

"Okay, Nora. You go ahead and try to flip this around and make this my fault. Make up your mind, either you want me and we can figure this out together, or you don't."

"What?" I blink at him.

"What?" He repeats, his hands in the air.

I feel the tear drip down my face before I can stop it. "I can't believe after all this, you're still trying to be accepting and want to give me another chance."

Like I said, I could live a thousand lives and never deserve him.

He shakes his head and stops pacing around the room. "Well, what's it going to be? You decide."

"What about Dakota?" I ask him. His eyes spit fire at me.

"What about her?"

"You're going to Michigan with her. You two will be alone..."

"Are you kidding me? This is what you're worried about?" He sits down on the bed and drops his face into his hands.

I had expected this to go a different way. I thought we would go into his room and decide this was just too messy to continue and he would be sad when I left, but he would be fine tomorrow. My head aches and maybe I can compete with Dakota? Maybe he would choose me?

The story of Dakota's brother haunts me, haunts them. The way Dakota went into the convenience store after Landon and I just stood there on the sidewalk. I watched her takes his hands in hers and I watched when he didn't pull away. When she finally walked away, she sobbed into her hands. The reality of it is, my first love is over, but theirs isn't.

"Touch me." I tell him. I walk over and stand right in front of him and beg him to touch me. I need one last night with him. His hand hovers over my face and I close my eyes as he brushes his thumbs over my cheeks.

"I'm sorry," I tell him when his finger glides over my lips. I don't tell him what I'm sorry for, but soon enough, he will get it. He will thank me for backing away from him now. Better late than never.

My hands move to his stomach, to the hard muscles and I pull at his shirt, to bring him closer to me. His mouth is soft when it touches mine. I could kiss him and kiss him and kiss him and I would never get my fill. I push at his shoulders and climb on top of his body. I take all of him, circling my hips over his. My hair falls down my back, wet and cold, and Landon's hands move up to fondle my breasts. I take my time with him, slowly scratching my nails down his taught stomach as I move over him. He sighs, he pants, he says my name. I tell him that I can't get enough of him and he agrees, pulling my body to his chest as he comes. I feel him shuddering in pleasure and I try not to cry.

What happened to me? Who is this weak woman crying over the body of a boy she's too complicated to be loved by?

I lay my head on his chest and close my eyes before the tears can fall. I breathe in and out, hoping he doesn't recognize my emotions.

He doesn't, and when he falls asleep, I gather my clothes and leave him in the quiet of Brooklyn.

When I get to the gate of the house, my eyes are swollen and raw. My chest is heavy and my body is weak. It was a long drive here and it was too late to call a driver. The entire ride on the train, I stared at the seat across from me, remembering the night Landon followed me. The more I try to push the memories back, the heavier they push themselves on me.

I push in the code for the big metal gate and the cab drives away. The gate creaks open and I walk slowly up the expansive driveway. Manicured trees and flowers line the way, as if there is life in this estate. I look up to the dark house perched on top of the hill. There's no life here.

The house is silent except the quiet running of the fish tank and the beeping of the machines as I get closer to the master bedroom. The nurse's car is parked out front, so I know she's here somewhere. The walls echo each of my steps and I wonder if I would have loved this massive house if things were different.

Would I have learned to love my husband and raised a family in this house? I look up to the chandelier swaying above me and the expensive art hanging on the walls. One-of-a-kind paintings and chandeliers for a man who will never see them?

The bedroom door is unlocked, of course it is, and I push it open. Amir is sitting in his chair. His eyes are closed. His face is freshly shaven and his white cotton shirt is unbuttoned at the top. He was such a beautiful man. He is such a beautiful man.

In the morning, I will yell at his nurse, Jennifer, for leaving him in his wheelchair all night, but for now, I drop my bag and sit at his feet. I lift his heavy arm and lay my head on his lap. The breathing machine hisses and I move the hose away from my feet and drop his arm over my head. I don't cry, and for the first time in a long time, I can imagine myself living here, in this room, with my silent husband, for the rest of my life.

(I love nora and landon and even dakota in her own way. *sobs*) I have something that's exciting and important to me coming within a week or so!!!! Stay tuned:)