~Los Angeles,

•09/28 {Monday, 2:46 P.M} 

~*~ Dorian ~*~

Was it a way to punish me ? Or to torture me ? Did I really deserve it ? Did my mom really deserve it ? Why was it happening now ? Why ? I couldn't understand what was happening. One moment, everything was good and the next minute my whole world was falling apart. Why ? What did we do for this to happen to us ? Was it because we were being petty towards each other ? Was it God's or the devil's making ? I didn't even know anymore. 

I didn't know what to believe anymore. 

As we were speeding to the hospital, a million of different and crazy thoughts were going through my mind and I was slowly but surely losing it. I was mainly starting to be filled with full of regret for the way I behaved with my own mother. It wasn't normal. I shouldn't have let the situation go this far. It was my fault. I should've just accepted to move on like her and everybody else wanted to, but no, I, Dorian had to be complicated, as usual. 

"Who knows ? " I asked RJ as my right leg was jumping uncontrollably and I began to chew on my nail nervously. I was imagining the worst and it was hurting my heart. The only way I could calm down was to see my mother and make sure that she was okay. 

"My father and mother are out of town, but we'll send them a message later."

"Okay...And why did they call you first anyway ? " I was so worried that I somewhat had to start shit with someone and too bad for my little cousin, he was my target. 

He frowned, "Wh-Do you think it's really the time for your bullshit ?! Dorian, your mom got into a car accident, she's in the hospital, maybe losing her life and you want to fucking argue with me ?! Really ?! "

"I'm her so-"

"ENOUGH ! " Lani yelled in the passenger seat, "Enough ! " She repeated looking at us like we'd just grown two additional heads, "Are you serious right now ? We don't have time for this now ! "

"He started it ! " RJ defended himself pointing me in his rear mirror. 

"I don't care ! You both stop ! I'm tired to play the mom with you two, grow the fuck up ! And Dorian, you better stop taking your anger out on everybody before to take it on the wrong person ! We're all affected by the situation ! Not only you ! "

"It's MY mother though." I added folding my arms and looking out the window. 

Ten minutes later, we were finally pulling in front of the hospital. I didn't even wait for RJ to totally stop the car as I jumped out and ran inside the building. I had to see my mother and make sure that she was still alive. And if she still was, I was going to be better with her; "This is a promise." I told myself going to the reception desk.

"We're busy, like every day, so you won't be-" She started and I rolled my eyes.

"Suzana Willkingston. I'm gonna cause trouble if you don't tell me where she's at NOW." 

She looked me up and down chewing her gum, "I'm not scared, sir." She said fake smiling in my face, what pissed me off and then caused me to grab her neck and pulled her face closer to me, "U-uh-what are yo-" I squeezed staring into her eyes, so she could see that I wasn't playing with her. 

"Dorian, no ! " I heard RJ's voice behind as he got me off the receptionist, "Are you completely insane ? "

"Suzana Wi-Wil-Willkingston, third floor, she's still in the operating room, someone is already there for her, I think uh, I'm not sure." The receptionist told us shaking. 

"Thank you so much. Let's get out of here before the security arrives." Lani stressed us to the elevator, "I can't believe it ! Are you crazy ? This poor woman did nothing to you ! "

"Yes, she did." I pressed on the button while the doors were closing.

"Oh really ? What did she do exactly for you to attack her like that ? "

"She was being rude." I simply answered about to be aggressive with her too. She was annoying me, extremely. 

"Still it's n-"

"Okay, can you shut the fuck up now ?! "

"Yo ! Watch your tone whe-"

"I wasn't talking to you, Richard Jr., so shut the fuck up too ! "

"Alright ! I'm done with you !I'm two seconds away to choke you to death and there is no one to stop me ! "

Lani sighed wiping her face in frustration, "Don't fight. This is not the time." 

The bell rang and we walked out. There weren't a lot of people, except a family that was crying on my left and there were a hispanic couple standing there on my right. I noticed immediately that the man wasn't in a good state. It even seemed like he got into a kind of accident. He actually had a bandage around his forearm and a sticker plaster on his forehead. And I then remarked the bloodstains on his clothes. 

"They've been in there since how long ? I can't wait anymore. I hope she's okay. Oh Dios mío ! Please God, save mi amor. Please, save Suz ? "

I frowned unconsciously walking towards him, "Suz ? " I mumbled recognizing the nickname. But then again, my mother couldn't be the only one using this. Or maybe, I was really going to meet my mom's new man. In this circumstance ? For real ? 

"Hey, Ben." RJ greeted the man as they shook hands. What the hell ?! I couldn't believe it. It was effectively him. 

"Hola ! " Maybe I had totally lost my mind, because Mrs.Pedroza was standing before me too. I thought that I was never going to see her once my community service was over. But why was she here ? I was definitely confused by everything at this point, "Mr.Willkingston ? What are you doing here ? " She questioned confused as much as me.  

"Who are you ? " I ignored her and paid attention to Ben. 

He cleared his throat and held his hand out towards me, "I wish we would meet otherwise, but uh, I'm Ben." He introduced himself. 

"Oh..." I looked at his hand and never shook it, "What happened to my mother ? Did you do this ? " I interrogated him with a harsh tone of voice. 

He shoved his hand in his pocket, "We were on the road, arguing and then...I don't know what exactly happened, but we got hit and then...everything was black. I can't tell you too much, sorry. I wish I was the one there though." He finished nodding his head towards the closed door. It was the operating room, where my mother was maybe taking her last breaths. 

"So, you were the one driving ? " I asked getting angry. 

"Yes." He responded sadly.

"Why were you arguing ? "

He shook his head, "This is not the most important now, don't you think ? " 

I licked my lips, "I wish you were in there, dying." I coldly confessed looking at him like he was my worst enemy. 

"Don't talk to my brother like that, cabrón ! " Mrs.Pedroza joined our conversation, sounding upset. I wasn't talking to her and I didn't care about her, but if she wanted a piece of my mind too, I had no problem giving it to her. 

"Bitch, I do not recall talking to you. You wait until I ring your bell, okay ? Puta ! "

"HEY ! " Ben got in my face.

"WHAT ?! Touch me and I'll kill you ! I fucking dare you ! " I punched him off me as he fell on the floor, head first. Seemed like it hurt, "Oops." I spit on him. 

"Dorian ! What is wrong with you ?! " 

"Lani, didn't I tell you to SHUT THE FUCK UP ?! "

Next thing I know, RJ and I are fighting like there was no tomorrow. Punches, kicks, bits, chokes, we were going at it like we really hated each other. A minute, I had the upper hand, the next RJ had it and it went like it for fifteen minutes. We were stopped when a security guy came and separated us. 

"Fucking bitch ! " 

"Fuck you ! " 

"If you don't regain your composure, I'm going to call the police and you'll be arrested. That's what y'all want ?! " Mr.Muscles warned us, "Now...Take a deep breath. In three minutes, I'm going to let one go and after three other minutes, the second one can go." 

"Are you not supposed to arrest us immediately ? " I asked as I was catching up my breath. 

"Yeah, but I'm doing y'all a favor." 

"Why ? So you can have something in return ? " RJ continued the little interrogation. 

"No." Mr.Muscles sighed,  "I'd been there before. Just go home." He released me first. 

"I have to stay here, my mo-"

"Look ! " He raised his hand, "I'm already doing you a favor, so just go." He said motioning the elevator with his head, "I won't repeat it again. If you don't move in the next thirty seconds, I'll make you arrested for real. Go." 

"Fuck you all." 

•09/30 {Wednesday, 9:32 A.M}

* ''A lonely mother gazing out of her window

Staring at a son that she just can't touch

If at any time he's in a jam she'll by his side

But he doesn't realized he hurts her so much

But all the praying just ain't helping at all

'Cause he can't seem to keep his self out of trouble

So he goes out and he makes his money the best way he knows how

Another body laying cold in the gutter

Listen to me

Don't go chasing waterfalls

Please stick to the rivers and the lakes that you're used to

I know that you're gonna have it your way or nothing at all

But I think you're moving too fast'' *

"Another round ? " My new lady friend asked smirking at me.

It'd been years since I had sex for the last time, a little bit more than seven years and three months exactly. I wasn't too preoccupied to do it again once I got out, but I knew that I wanted my first experience after so many years of abstinence would be much more better than that.  But I thought wrong. It wasn't as magical as I imagined it to be. It wasn't as satisfying as I wished it would be. I wasn't pleasured, but still I had to keep a roof over my head. So, if being an ex-con wasn't already enough, now I was also a...gigolo.

After the fight with RJ, I knew that I couldn't and didn't want to go back to his crib and since I didn't have money to pay me a hotel room, I had to find another way to be able to sleep on a bed. That's when I saw Rita and it didn't take me too long before to apply my plan. I worked my charm on her and in less than five minutes, I had her in my pocket. One hour later, we were going at it and back to her place. 

Now, we were two days later and I was still here. I was giving her good time and she was cooking for me and even bought me some clothes actually. But mainly, she allowed me to stay at her apartment with her during those two past days. Yes, she was taking care of me. And I didn't feel bad for using her like that because I had other things to be worried about. 

My mother got into an accident and I still didn't know if she made it through or if she was dead by now. RJ and also Lani tried to call me, but I didn't answer. RJ's parents attempted to get in contact with me too, but none of them got the chance to talk to me. Dr.Khimona and Mr.Collins tried to,but I really had time for nobody. 

I needed to focus on myself. 

"You didn't answer. What are you thinking about over there ? " She kissed my torso before to make her way to my lips. 

I turned my head, "I have to go." 

This girl really got me to realize something though. A beautiful woman or as they call them nowadays, a 'bad bitch' is not necessarily the best bitch. Beauty wasn't everything. No, Sir. Rita looked so good, she resembled Jennifer Lopez even and I thought that I won the lottery with her. Beautiful and grown woman. I was like yes God ! I thought I was rich, but truth was she didn't really know what to do in the bedroom. It was the worst experience I had in my life to be honest. My very first time, even if I wasn't experienced at all and my partner either, was still better than sleeping with Rita. She was horrible. 

I couldn't take another round. 

She pouted caressing my abs, "Aw ! Why ? I thought we were having fun."

She was, but not I. At all, "I have to go somewhere. It's really important. Where are my clothes ? "

"Oh, they should be clean now. Let me get them for you. I'm coming back." She kissed my cheek smiling hugely.

I rolled my eyes grabbing my phone. I had twenty missed calls, thirty-five unread messages and ten mails. Fortunately, I hadn't those other social media accounts and I did delete Vine. When I was about to check the text messages, my phone suddenly began to ring. I groaned and took the call anyways, "What ?! " 

"Cut the attitude. Where were you at ?! We've been trying to talk to you since two days now ! We need you to come here, your mother needs you ! "

My heart started speeding up as I grew nervous, "What ? What's going on ? Is she okay ? "

"I don't want to tell you through the phone, come back home." 

I sighed feeling sad and ashamed of my acts, "Hey man...I'm sorry, but I would understand if you don't want to forgive me. Maybe, something's wrong with me. Maybe I-"

"Family fights sometimes. We have other types of fights, but we're a family. You're my blood and I love you." 

"Lani mad ? " 

"She can't wait to see you to slap the shit out of you. You were so disrespectful." 

"I know and I hope you'll both curse my ass out for that. Is that Ben thing still there though ? I hope no...it's all his fault." I said watching Rita coming back with my clothes in her hands, that were cleaned and very well folded. At least, she could do that goodly. But she definitely had to improve her sex game. 

"That was an accident, Do. Anyways, I'll be at the hospital in a hour."

"Okay, we can meet outside ? "

"Fine with me. See you."

"See you." We hung out and I got out of the bed, "Can I take a shower ? " 

She nodded her head, "Of course. Want me to join you in ? We-"

"No, I'll be alright. Plus, I won't take too long." I rushed in the bathroom and washed myself real quick. Ten minutes later, I was drying my body. I borrowed some of her lotion and put it on, then I wrapped the towel around my waist and walked back into the room to get my clothes. I dressed up as fast as I could wondering what was going on with my mother. 

Was she still alive ?

"Am I going to see you again ? " She asked looking at me with hope writing in her eyes. 

I hummed debating between the truth and lie in my head, "I don't know. Maybe. If we're meant to meet again." Was my answer. After all, you never know.

"Okay. Have a nice day. But uh, do you want a breakfast ? " 

I shook my head, "No. Thank you for everything. You're an amazing woman." I semi-lied. Except for sex, she was awesome. 

I guess. 

"Thanks." She led me to her front door, "Bye." 

"Bye." I waved and left sighing in relief. Actually, she was annoying. Not too much, but she was aggravating my last nerves like hell since I woke up yesterday morning. No, she was the annoyance in fact. I hope that we weren't meant to see each other again and that it was just an one time like I wanted it to be. Whether my dick was too bomb or she was desperate as hell, but seemed like she was already in love. She wanted to play the nice little couple so bad, it was ridiculous.

I was officially done with the one-night stands. 

∫

∫

∫

"So ? What happened ? " I questioned hungry for answers. I need to know if she was still breathing. I was scared, but I had to know. 

RJ licked his lips, "We should sit down before to go in." 

"Why ? Is she okay ? "

He looked around and motioned a bench, where we went and sat down to talk. He took a deep breath as I noticed the sadness all over his face. It wasn't good, "Uh...It's not going to be easy to hear everything. Uh...Her head got hit pretty hard, what caused multiple seizures. And uh...There was an explosion after the cars collided and unfortunately auntie Suz inhaled a lot of smoke. Well, until the ambulance finally arrived. And uh, they discovered that she already had lung cancer." He paused looking at me. 

"What ? Lung cancer ? But when did sh-she get it ? " I was completely lost. 

"We can't know exactly. But the doctor said that it was already well advanced, that..." He sighed, "They couldn't do something to make it go and with the smoke she inhaled uh, in short her lungs are completely ruined."

"I can't believe that she knew she had that cancer and was still smoking ! I'm sure she's been smoking for awhile now and...Was she trying to kill herself before the accident ? " It wasn't making sense to me. Since her cancer was at an advanced stage, she knew better than smoking. She knew it, "How could y'all not notice it ? "

He groaned getting frustrated, "You're not about to do this again."

"It's not that difficult to notice that someone has a lung cancer, mainly if this is well advanced ! You mean, she was never...coughing or having problems to breath normally around y'all ? How ? I don't understand ! " 

"Listen, we kept eyes on her the best way we could, but after you got incarcerated she pushed us away. We weren't spending time together as much as we were when we were younger. And then she started dating Ben and-"

"Y'all told me you were taking care of her ! Was it all a fucking lie ?! "

"No. Not entirely..." He scratched the back of his neck, "We saw her occasionally, but most of the time she was...avoiding us and since she's a grown woman and we have our own lives to live, we couldn't be behind her like little puppies all the time. I was as shocked as you are right now when he told us that and I feel so guilty for not noticing this sooner, so we could help her ! She's my auntie, Do ! I care about her too and it's killing me to see her in this state too ! You're not the only one suffering in this situation ! "

We both stayed silent for a couple of minutes, thinking. 

It was a lot to take in. I wasn't expecting that. My mother had lung cancer and nobody could save her. And maybe she was the one who helped the cancer to reach an advanced stage. To kill herself. Because why would she be smoking if she knew that she had that cancer ? And it was impossible for her to not know that since it was already advanced. I witnessed Nǎinai going through this, so I knew somewhat what I was talking about. She must've been knowing all this time, told absolutely nobody --not even her own son-- and she kept living recklessly, like everything was fine. 

"Why did she do that to herself ? " I asked feeling the water making its way to my eyes. I wasn't ready to lose her. Not now. 

"I don't know, but uh...It's not all." 

I frowned, "What ? There is more ? "

"She's still alive, but she can't breath by herself. And she can't have a lung transplant."

"So, you're telling me that she's plugged to a machine now ? That's it ? "

He nodded, "Yes. But uh..." He trailed off.

"But uh what ? "

"The doctor doesn't think that she'll live more than three days. It can go to one week maximum. She can't breath by herself, she's in a coma and still having seizures. When and...if she wakes up, she could be partially or completely paralysis. Also he thinks with a traumatic brain injury like this one, she'll definitely have short or long-term memory loss the time she'll still be alive an-"

"Enough. Please, stop. I got it, she doesn't have too much time left. She's damaged." I wiped my face as a few tears ran on both of my cheeks, "I can't believe it." 

He bit on his bottom lip, "Do you want to see her ? " He asked standing up slowly. 

I hummed, "Yes."

__________________________

Feel free to comment and/or to vote =)

•A/N: I'm not a doctor, but I did my researches. BUT if you're well informed on medical subjects and something I said about Dorian's mom's medical condition in this chapter is totally wrong/can't be possible in real life, please let me know 🙂

THANKS FOR READING ! 💗

CissyItsMe 💋✌🏾❤️