Soooooooo, I actually can't recall the last time I updated. Sorry *insert my extremely sheepish apologetic smile here*

Please forgive meeeeeeee.

For anyone still remaining with this story, thank you guys. So this is a long chapter so I hope it compensates for like a teeny tiny bit for the super duper extra long hiatus. But it's not the chapter I planned, more like a very important filler to tie the loose ends. So that means next chapter would be fun to write!! (which I hope I would be posting next week) I am excited. =D

Enjoy ♥

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With narrowed eyes, I inspected the fresh coat of paint on the wooden prop bridge and deciding that the glacial blue color looked a little odd, I dipped the paint brush into the paint can in my hand, whirled it inside for a while and then applied another thick coat of the previous one.

There. Much better.

While I continued to paint all over the wooden prop, I felt my phone buzzing in my pocket a few times and then stop as they went to my voicemail.

"Hey, Norah, I am gonna leave, okay? My dad's here. I'll see you tomorrow." I turned around at the sound of Ariel Benson's voice. She and I were heading the entire committee for this winter formal.

I gave her a small smile. "Yeah, sure. Bye."

I got back to applying my final coat for the bridge as her ballet flats made a soft tapping noise against the wooden floor, an announcement that I was now the last person in the hall and probably the last student in the entire school too. Shaking the cold feeling that came with the realization of being completely alone in the silent school, I tried going back to working.

Once the paint job of the bridge was done, I walked over to the tables where hundreds of blue sparkle covered tiny pine cones lied in cardboard boxes. Picking one of them, I slid a plastic string into the holes, made at the top of them, along with the plastic pearl strings.

"Thought you'd still be here." I almost jumped at the sound of Daniel's voice which was followed by an echo. "Called you a few times. You're ignoring me or what?"

There wasn't a trace of anger in his voice. Infact it was way too cheery and light, considering how have been treating him lately.

"I am not ignoring you. I've just been a little busy," I said, keeping my eyes down to the decorations in my hands, making it look I was too occupied.

"Hmm, so you've been," he trailed off as he took a step towards me and left a quick kiss on my forehead. I smiled as he pulled back. "So when will you be done?"

"Umm, I don't know, I still have to get these strings up and the light tree needs to be set up, the lighting needs to be done and Melonie said she was going to help with paper snowflakes but she's down with the flu so I've to do that myself. And the tulle deco-"

Daniel cut me off, "Okay, woah, calm down. Take it a little easy. You still have a whole week to go." He pushed back the hair hanging in front of my eyes and tucked it behind my ear. I shivered internally at his touch. It felt as if I was missing him while he was right in front of me.

"Yeah, well, one week is not enough," I replied in almost a murmur and turned around to pick some more pine cones.

Why was I doing this to him? He didn't deserve this.

"You should have called me if you needed help. Staying all by yourself so late at school isn't a good idea." I could hear the worry so clear in his voice and somehow it irked me. It angered me why he had to be so nice to me when I had been a jerk to him lately. I wasn't worthy of his concern.

"It's nothing I couldn't do by myself," I replied, still not looking up to meet his eyes.

"Norah, it's already seven. Let me take you home. You can do all of it tomorrow." I sighed internally.

Why? Why did he have to be so fricking good? It was just making me feel even guiltier.

"No, it's okay. I brought my own car. I will leave in a while."

I finally looked up, and saw him nod, looking square in my eyes. Obviously feeling unnerved, I looked down again.

"So have you talked to your parents since then?"

And there it was. Just the conversation I wasn't looking forward to have and the conversation I had been dodging him about for two weeks.

"Can we not talk about it right now?" I mumbled, jaws getting tight as I paid all my attention to completing the decoration string in my hand.

"So when do we do it then?" It took me by surprise. Up until now, he had dropped the topic instantly every time I told him to. But I guess, this was to come someday.

"Later."

"And when does this later come? 'Cause it's been two weeks and you refuse to say even a word about how have you been, or if your parents are even talking to you or not. What's going on, Noh? Why are you ignoring me?"

I sighed, looking up. "I'm not dodging you. It's just we've both been busy with stuff-"

"Don't give me that bullshit," his voice was tight. "I'm not stupid."

"But it is what it is. You're busy with your basketball season and I don't wanna pile up on things you should be worrying about. Just go and practice on your matches," I rambled on, exasperated.

"The same matches you don't even bother coming," he countered, voice dipping low.

"It was just one match," I told him, looking straight in his eyes. "And it's not like you didn't have your fans supporting you there that you need me."

"What are you talking about?" He asked, every shade of confusion painted on his features. "Is this about that Kacey thing?"

Kacey Simons, school's head cheer leader and probably the hottest girl ever to grace Cassell High's hallways, was all over Daniel during their match with Pontiac high and since people needed to have some kind of gossip to keep themself busy, this had been a news for the entire last week.

"It's not about the Kacey thing," I declared. "Besides, I don't even care what this thing is with her anyway."

Of course, I did care what this thing was. Maybe not because I was insecure about her and Daniel. I was just mad. Not at her. Not at all those girls who had crushes on Daniel. I was just at myself. I was mad that why I deserved to be with Daniel any more than these girls did? Why couldn't I be like a normal girlfriend that any of these girls could have been to Daniel?

"Yeah, seems like you don't care about anything lately," I felt a pit in my stomach at how dejected he sounded.

"Regretting being with me already?" I said, with a bitter smile.

"Or maybe you are," he replied, without missing a beat and with not a single trace of hesitation in his words.

I blinked, letting a moment of silence pass between us. "Just go."

And so he did, and as I watched him leave, I pulled on the ends of the string, hard enough for it to snap and all the fake pearls to scatter all over the floor.

Why was I such a screw up?

I didn't leave the hall for the next half an hour, but I didn't do any work either. I simply sat on the ground, staring hard at the huge banner hanging on the opposite wall.

The roads were just as deserted as the school hallway as I drove back to home, the last place I wanted to be nowadays. I kept the windows down, letting the icy cold wind to feel like knives on my skin. I was a glutton for punishment.

As I came near my driveway, I noticed a familiar Honda Civic parked in front of the house. My car came to a lazy stop as the doors of the Civic opened.

Nathan's eyes lightened up with a sad smile as he took a step forward to lean against his car, waiting for me to get out.

"Hey," he said.

I stared at him for a good while walking over to stand beside him. "I didn't think I would see you anytime soon."

He smiled a little. "You know me. Always surprising people."

I chuckled silently to hide away the nervousness. I felt fidgety under his gaze.

"How have you been?" he asked.

"Shouldn't I be asking that to you?" I raised my left eyebrow.

"Yeah, but I figured it couldn't have been easy on you to drop a bomb like that on your parents. So they aren't talking to you?"

I shook my head. "I never understood how do you always know what's going on with me?"

He shrugged, not losing the small smile. "I don't know. You've just been really easy for me to read from the very start. I could always tell what's going on in your mind. Surprisingly, I couldn't do that with her, but with you it came easy."

My eyes felt dry because of the cold wind as I stared at him without blinking. There was something different in the way he said 'her'. In fact, normally he would have said 'Emma', but I guess things were bound to change eventually.

I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. "Nate, I know it doesn't matter what I say now 'cause I know it's not going to change anything, but..." I paused to assess his reaction but he kept a straight face. "I am sorry. It was stupid of me not to do something in that half an hour I had which could have saved her, and I am sorry for not saying anything all these years. I am sorry for letting you stay in that miserable state which I could have done something about."

"It's okay." He asked. "I don't blame you."

Any stranger would have been affected by the pain that came along with his voice, but the thing that surprised me was that there wasn't any accusation or bitterness hidden anywhere in it.

"Of course, you don't," I sighed, leaning against the car, and looking up at the dark winter sky. "It isn't normal how nice you are, you know that?"

"Nah, it's not that," he said, softly. "I just don't see the point in it, in figuring out where things went wrong. Or...or...maybe because somewhere in my mind I'll find my own fault in all of it."

I whipped my head to look at him. "Your fault? Of what? Of being too damn good to everyone?"

"No, about what I did that drove her to him. That's where it started, didn't it?"

I was frozen in my place as he spoke those words and with the way his eyes shone with unshed tears.

And never had I ever felt disgusted by my sister more than I did right then. I felt this immense hate for both Emma and I rise in my chest.

Neither of us deserved people like Nate or Daniel.

"It didn't. If there's one thing I know for sure, it's that you were too good for her. Now, I know she was my sister and I love her and if I could do anything to bring her back, I would, but it won't change that she did wrong with you. You deserve someone who values you more than anything, and I'm sorry my sister couldn't be that person."

Nate's head fell back to stare at the sky. "I don't regret that I ever fell in love with her, Noh. I don't regret her. And neither should you."

"I don't regret her," I told him. "But it's impossible not to think about the life if she hadn't done it. If only she hadn't made that mistake, things would be different. We would be different."

"You don't really like the person you're anymore, do you?" he asked, tilting his head to the side.

"No..."

"Don't be so hard on yourself, Noh. You've been blaming yourself for a long time. It's time you stop doing that because until you do that you'd find a way to stop good things to happening to you," he said, with his infamous wise tone. "And I hope I don't have to explain where I am going with this."

I shook my head. "I don't think for someone who has done things like I have is worthy of having those good things happen to them. I want them to happen, I just can't find enough reason that they should."

"Then stop looking for them," he said, tone rising like he was highly opposed to what I had just said. "God, Norah, there doesn't have to be a reason for everything. I didn't have a reason why I fell for Em. I mean why her? There isn't an answer for every question. Some things just are a certain way. Just let them be."

I turned and tossed his words in my mind.

I looked at him as a thought hit me. "You idiot, you still love her, don't you? Even after all of this..."

He responded with a sheepish shrug. "I can either love her for all the good things she did or hate her for that one mistake she made, and what's the point in hating her."

I opened my mouth to say something, but he beat me to it. "And before you tell me that it's not healthy and I need to move on and all those things, let me tell that it's exactly why I am here tonight." He pulled himself off the car to stand in front of me.

"What do you mean?" My eyebrows were knitted as I looked at him with confusion.

Nathan stared back silently for a second before speaking. "I'm leaving. Tonight."

I waited for him to explain further but he didn't. "Leaving? For where?"

"I don't know yet. Just somewhere far away from here."

I stood up straight at the oddity in his voice. "I don't get it. For how long?"

"I...I.." he struggled with words. "I don't know."

There was a knot in my stomach that was getting tighter with every passing moment. "Nate...why..."

"I don't know, maybe I am finally ready to let go, I guess. I want a break, a new start maybe, and I can't have it here or back home. There's just too much of her everywhere in all of these places.... And if I don't leave now, I might never do it..."

I could feel tears stinging in my eyes. "You don't plan on coming back, do you?"

He didn't reply, just looked at me with a pained expression. "I..."

"It's okay, I get it," I said, wiping the tears off. "You need to get away from her. And I am like the biggest reminder of her. I get it."

"Norah, you're nothing like her," he cooed softly, stroking my hair. "I'm leaving because I want to, not because of you. And I'm sorry for all the times I made you feel like you're just a reminder of her, and for all the times anyone else did, because you're not. You're not just her twin. You're Norah, the little girl I saw growing up. My best friend. The only one who would always get the quotes I randomly say, the only one who pushed me to start painting. You're my little bird, who right now desperately needs to see that she has been missing out on life so much. Noh, stop punishing yourself, and just let go. Try to live without defining yourself with that one moment where you think you could have done something."

"Nate please, stay," I nearly begged. "I need you. I don't know a life where I don't have my best friend to tell me things will be alright when they are not. I need you to be here...please..."

Nate closed his eyes to take a deep breath. "I can't. I need to do this for myself. I need to get out."

I didn't say anything this time, because of hearing it clearly this time in his voice how badly he did want an escape from her. I hung my head and took a step back, to give him space to get in the car.

For a while, we both stood there without moving, before Nate took a step forward, took me in his arms and held me as close to him as he could. "Goodbye, Noh. I love you."

There was a dull ache in my chest as he let me go and got inside his car. I wanted to beg so badly for him to stay as the engine started, but I didn't.

I couldn't do that to him.

The car soon drove away into the light November fog that had descended over the streets. I kept staring at the red tail lights until they completely disappeared into the night and even though he hadn't answered it when I had asked, I had a feeling that it was really the last memory I'll have of him for ever or at least for a very long time.

I stared into space where his car once was, until I could feel my fingertips going numb from the cold. I took a few steps to my right so that I was now standing at the spot where I stood eight years ago when Nate came to visit us for the first time in this house. He had hopped off his mom's car with his usual grin and his mess of floppy hair.

Had any of us ever thought that there would be one day like this too?

There was a loud blow of car horn from the end of the road, something that was enough for me to pull myself from my passive state. Turning around on my heels, I dashed towards my car.

The windows were still rolled down as I steered the car towards the inner part of the town.

Pulling my car to a stop, I fished for my phone in my pocket and dialled the recently used number.

"On a scale of one to you want to feed me to Alaskan bear, how mad are you at me right now?" I treaded towards the back of the house where the window to his room was.

"Shutting the door in your face mad."

"So, much better than I thought," I said, craning my neck to see if I could see him through the window glass. "Let me in?"

"No, I am pretending not to be at home." He leaned against his window sill and since it was almost pitch dark outside, I couldn't see his face properly. "So you can go now."

"Oh, come on. I'm sorry. What do you want me to climb your window to prove it to you?" I waved my hand dramatically at him. "I might break my spine or my skull might rip open but if that what it will take, then I'll do it too."

"I would say 'as if you really are going to' but I have a feeling that it might prompt you even more." I watched the window of his room open and his head peering down at me. Judging by his voice he didn't sound mad, just maybe not in a mood to talk. "Go home, Norah. We'll talk tomorrow."

"No." I shook my head, even though I doubted he could see me do it. "No tomorrow, no laters, I want to talk right now. And fine, if you won't open the door, I will have to resort to this." Without waiting for him to say something, I shoved the phone back in my jeans and went for the drain pipe that ran vertically along the wall of the house.

"Have you officially lost it? Norah, what are you doing?" I heard him shout as I set my foot to start my way up the drain, praying that it was strong enough to take my weight and won't rip off midway.

"Well, spartypants, I am climbing up your window. Not exactly rocket science."

While talking, I looked up, losing my eye on where I was putting my foot and accidently missed the spot, losing my balance slightly.

"Oh my god, you really are an idiot. I'm opening the door, just stay where you are" he yelled.

I hugged the drain pipe because literally my life depended on it. Maybe this wasn't such a good idea.

Lesson learnt. Never work on your impulse, Norah.

"No, it's okay, I can do it. I am almost halfway through anyway. Going down seems even worse," I shouted, slowly moving up, this time with way more caution.

I heard him mumble something but I didn't catch the words, but he didn't seem very pleased by the tone he had.

When I finally reached near his window, the drain rattled as I took Daniel's hand to jump inside of the room.

"Oh, god that was scary," I said with a chuckle as I tried to catch my breath.

"You know there's something really wrong with you." He probably sounded more out of breath than I did.

"Nothing, you don't know, right?" I said, biting my lip, feeling a little nervous because of his hard gaze on me.

"Am I supposed to laugh?" He crossed his arms in front of his chest, lips turned down in a frown.

I stepped close to him, so that he had to look down at me. It was moments like these when I realised how much he towered over me. "No, you're supposed to yell at me for my jerk behavior and then you're supposed to forgive me and just be my usual adorable boyfriend."

I reached for his hand and was relieved when he didn't pull it back. I interlinked our fingers lightly. "You're freezing."

"It's nothing," I waived it off. "And that's not important right now. I wa-"

"No, it is. I am not taking the blame if you die of hypothermia," he said, and I am pretty sure I saw a hint of smile on his face. "Get inside the covers."

"Is it just me or did that sound really suggestive?" I took a chance in seeing how far I could push my luck with him.

"Just you," he replied, dryly but I could tell that it was just an act now. If I tried a little bit harder, I might even make him smile. "Now get in."

Since I wasn't in a mood of acting defiantly and plus the plush warm quilt on his bed look really inviting, I got inside without any further argument.

Once I was nestled comfortably inside, I turned to Daniel who sat on the farthest corner of the bed.

"Would you stop staring at me like I am a lab rat?" I said sinking further inside the stack of pillows lying against my back.

"I am just not sure what I am 'allowed' to do without making you go ballistic on me, so I am just gonna stay silent unless told otherwise." The sardonic tone wasn't hidden in his tone.

"Okay, ballistic might be too exaggerated," I said sheepishly but got no reaction from him. Just blank.

I sighed, feeling a sense tiredness take all over me. "Oh, come on. Don't be like that. I am already getting the silent treatment from my parents, not you too."

Okay, yeah I was desperate enough to resort to emotional blackmailing.

A look of pity crossed his eyes. "Did something happen today?"

"What?"

"An hour ago you looked you were done with us, and then here you are freezing your ass out in the cold, breaking into my house. So what happened?"

What happened was that Nate was gone. He was at last taking the first step of breaking from the hold of the old life, where there was nothing left for him except Emma's memories and a lifetime of loneliness. And even though, my heart sunk at the thought that I might never see him again, I was happy for him. And the idea that he would find his life back again soon made me see that I could do that too.

It's tough to let go of people that you have known from before you even had a name, and I could be lamenting about him going away all I wanted, but the truth was that our time in each other's life was up.

It was time for new beginnings.

"I am sorry..." I whispered. "I just...You know me, I can be difficult. I tell myself something one day, and then forget it the next. I thought I was finally moving on. I thought I would at last stop blaming myself all the time, but then since the day I came clear to my parents, I see the look in their eyes, and it's like going back in time, going back to the self-loathing..."

"I am so sorry..." And the wall was down. In a second, he took me in his arms as he made room for himself next to me. "I am so sorry I forced you to tell them."

I shook my head. "No, no, it's not that. That had to be done and if it weren't for you, I don't think I would have ever done it...so you have nothing say sorry about..."

"I am still sorry...about how things are right now with your parents..." He said softly into my ears. My head felt light as I let myself feel at complete ease in his arms. "I wish I could do something to help you."

He was where I always found my peace. Why did I have to first push him away to realize that every time?

"You are. Just hold me. That's all I need right now," I mumbled into his chest.

"I was always here I always am. It's you who forgets that all the time."

"I feel like I am burdening you, you know, with my never ending problems. I mean you must wonder what it must be like to have a normal relationship, right? To be with a normal girl? Like Kacey Simons? Someone who would just go on regular dates with you, someone who knows all the right things to make you happy and whose biggest worry of the day might be an upcoming calculus test, not someone who's still struggling to find if she exists without her dead twin."

Daniel pulled me away from him, to look at my face with a disapproving frown. "Norah, I love you but baby, you're an idiot, okay?"

I rolled my eyes. "I am just saying."

"Okay, this is the last time I am explaining you this, so hear me out without interrupting, 'kay?" He looked me straight in the eye. "Remember how you said that I fell in love with the ten year old you and that's not who you're anymore?" I nodded weakly. "Yeah, well, I guess you were right. You're not her but I am not in love with that girl anymore, 'cause maybe I really didn't have even a clue how you really were back then. I guess I did fell just for my imagination of how you would be. But then I met you...I mean actually met you and I got to really know you. You weren't just a figure of perfection sitting on a swing that I admired from far away anymore." I listened with my undivided attention. "Norah, you're not perfect. You overthink, you jump to conclusions faster than anyone else I have ever met, you think of the worst case scenarios all the time and you're difficult at times...but I still fell for you harder than before. I don't care if we don't have what you think normal is. I don't care if we spend our weekends just talking about how you much miss your sister instead of going on dates or whatever. If you are not normal, I am not either. I hardly think anyone else would have stuck with me like you did, or if anyone else would sneak into a hospital room at midnight just to talk to me, or climb drain pipes like a maniac." We both chuckled at the same time. I stared in his eyes, watching as a feverous look settled in them. He traced my lower lip with his thumb. "So what I am saying is that as much as you think Kacey Simons, the girl who still counts on her fingers in math class, is my soul mate, I can't see myself with anyone else because her eyes aren't the perfect shade of brown like yours are and she doesn't look like a little kitten when she's mad and I definitely bet I won't enjoy kissing her as much as do kissing you."

With a huge smile, I met his warm lips with mine, and we kissed like putting all of ourselves into it, letting each other know how much we needed the other.

He pulled back with a grin. "See, told you," Daniel said, with a smirk. I bit on my lower lip. "You know I am beginning to think that you just keep on finding more ways of making me do this love declaration again and again."

I pulled him towards me from the hem of his sweatshirt. "Admit it. You like it just as much as I do. You're cheesy like that."

He smiled wider, eyes going down to my lips again. "Guilty."

Before he could, I kissed him first this time.

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