I am not sure if this even counts as a chapter. I am only half aware what I have written in it. Really sorry for the delay, but I am just swarmed with work and in such conditions, the quality of my writing gets really horrible. I am already regretting writing this one. Maybe, I should have written this after some time, but oh well, it's done so, what can I do? And a prior warning, the dialogues in this chapter may not make sense because I am already half asleep as I am typing this. So really sorry if this chapter feels weird all in all. Oh, and it's not edited either.=P

But I am still hoping you like it (at least somewhat)

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"Favorite Color?"

"Black."

I rolled my eyes. "No surprise there." Daniel gave me a side eye. I ignored it. "Okay, favorite book?"

"Take a guess," he said, eyes going back on the road as we drove out of the town.

I wasn't told where we were headed. Daniel just barged in my room saying that we had to leave in an hour, with no more information.

The place around the limit of Cassell was mostly quiet and not occupied by even a single soul other than us. It was just a narrow road cutting through a dense, lush woods.

"Fault in our stars?" I suggested with a sly smile on the corner of my lips.

"That’s not even funny."

I chuckled silently. "Okay..." I made a thinking face. "How about...umm... the Golden Compass?"

Daniel turned to me, a look of being slightly puzzled. "Okay, that was freakishly quick."

I shrugged, shifting deeper in the seat of the car. "That's the most worn out looking book in your room, so..."

"Getting a little too observant, aren't we now?" He smirked.

"Says the guy who remembered that I wore a tiny pink butterfly clip to school and then mentioned it in a letter," I replied back, smiling knowing that I had won this argument.

Daniel frowned, a pout forming. "Okay, when you say it like that, it sounds really creepy."

"It sounds creepy any way I say it," I countered making his frown to intensify. I chuckled. "Just kidding."

"How about I ask the next few questions now?" He asked, his eyes meeting mine, and there was this bright shine in them, which had been there lately. It was hard not to notice and not hard to tell that what it meant.

Nodding, I smiled at him and he did too. For a few seconds we stayed like that before he turned back to the road. That was building into a habit of ours, I think, one that I definitely didn't mind. Just staring at each other and smiling for absolutely no reason. It was both exciting and scary the feels I got every time I said it to myself that Daniel and I were together now, finally, because I don't think I had even reached the stage where I was sure that I wasn't just making this up in my head. This was really happening.

"Favorite song?"

I blinked a few times, clearing my head to focus on his question. "Umm, I believe I have already answered that question. And here I thought you had a good memory," I said, tapping the side of his head with my knuckles.

He rolled his eyes at me. "Yeah, but I am pretty sure that Macarena cannot be your favorite song."

"And what if it is?" I asked in a challenging tone.

He took a dramatically deep sigh. "Then I am afraid you can't be my girlfriend anymore. This just isn't gonna work out."

Subduing the flutter in my stomach that I got every single time he called me his girlfriend, I mimicked his sigh. "Then this is it, I guess. I hope we can still remain friends though."

"Norah."

"Fine," I said. "It's Imagine, by John Lennon. And I know it's like the most common favorite song of all times but it is what it is, okay?" I huffed a breath.

"See, wasn't too hard, now was it? And any special story for that song being your favorite?"

I made a thoughtful expression. "Not really."

He nodded, and I looked down at my hands, feeling a little bad about lying, didn’t matter if it was about such a tiny little thing.

What I didn't tell him that it was my favorite because of Nathan. It was both of our song to just sing along too since we were young. It was one of the few things that he and I did which didn't include Emma to be present too.

But I couldn't tell Daniel that. For the past two weeks that we had been together, Nathan's name never came up, probably because neither of us wanted it to come up. Daniel didn't, because he probably wasn't ready to discuss it and I didn't because I didn't know how to. Also, there had been no contact with Nate since then and it felt sad. Of course, we had gone way longer than this without talking but this time it was different. What if he and I never talk again? I couldn't imagine a life where there was no Nathan. He had been there for me at the worst of times, and when now I am finally maybe at my best after such a long time, he wasn't there. And as much as being with Daniel left me with this happiness that sometime got too much to contain, the absence of Nate felt like a hole in the middle of it all.

"Do I get to have another question?"

 I looked back up, waving away my thoughts. "Yeah, I guess. Shoot."

"Okay, umm." His eyebrows went up a little higher, lips pursed together. "So, you don't have to answer it but I was thinking, you know, that umm the bridge that Emma's car went down from it's in Coral Hills, right?"

I simply nodded, having a hunch where he was going with it. I was actually surprised how he had gone so long without asking it.

"Well, then why were you on that old bridge in Cassell that night. I mean, they're not the same one so..." He was hesitating in going ahead.

"The reason is actually kind of stupid." I shrugged. "It's just, uh, the river that flows under both of the bridges, it's...the same one...I know, it's a stupid reason but I don't know..."

"It's not stupid," he said, quietly, glancing at my way.

I chuckled. "Yeah, okay let's believe that. And you don't need to need to be so hesitating all the time you ask anything about Em."

"I know," he answered, keeping his eyes fixed on the road. "It's just you can be a little unpredictable and I don’t want to push you any further for answers more than I already have."

I nodded lightly. "Okay, I am done with the questions."

"What else do you wanna do?"

I smiled, not being able to hide the mischief that came along with it as I reached for my bag on the back seat. "I don't know about you, but I have a perfect way to enjoy my time."

"What..." His forehead creased, he turned to me, but an incredulous look replaced the earlier one as he noticed the stack of paper in my hands. "Oh, come on. Why did you bring those?"

I shrugged with an innocent expression. "What? They belong to me so I can take them wherever I want."

Daniel gave me a side eye. "They do not belong to you. You just simply took them from my room."

"Well, they were written for me, weren't they? So I was only taking back what was mine." I pulled out the last letter from the bunch and kept the rest of them back in the bag. "Now, shush and let me read. I am still not done with this last one." I looked for the last line where I had left it. "It's been so long since I last saw you-"

"Isn't it embarrassing enough for me that you get to read these that you have to read them out loud too?" He remarked, making a horrified face.

"Yep!" and then I continued reading. "It's been so long since I last saw you. I've lost count of the days. So much has changed since then. I hope you're still like the happy little girl like I remember you. But it doesn't matter even if you have changed. I would like you just as you are. I am just excited to see you and this time I won't screw it up. Tomorrow, when I see you, I am going to walk up to you and talk. No excuses this time. I promise."

I stared at the last two lines before turning to Daniel who looked like he was half lost in his thoughts. "Why didn't you then? Why didn't you talk to me the next day?"

Daniel's eyes found their way back to mine, a mix of old memories, regret, love, everything mixed together. "Because the very minute I entered the school, I saw you with Sebastian," he answered, in a quiet way.

"Oh."

I closed my eyes, throwing my head on the headrest of the seat. I stayed like that for a while until I felt Daniel picking up my hand and lacing his fingers with mine.

"Don't overthink it. It's about how things turn out in the end, not what could have happened years ago," he told me, like the wise old man he was starting to become lately.

God, I really wanted to kiss him right now. At moments like this, I felt like I was brimming with so many feelings that I was genuinely concerned if it was even normal to feel like this. Sometimes, I even thought that I was going to be sick if I went more than an hour without him.

Yes, of course I knew it was ridiculous. but then I remembered that I loved how great his lips against mine felt or how warm my heart felt every time I get to rest my head against his chest, feeling safe in his arms and then it didn't feel so stupid or ridiculous to think like that.

I loved being in love with Daniel.

I was still smiling like the complete love struck puppy I was until I finally noticed the road we were on and suddenly the smile slipped altogether.

"Daniel, where are we going?"  I asked, my heart thumping as I whipped my head to him.

"Trust me, you'd not regret this," he said, reassuringly as his hand squeezed mine.

Without a single word, I remained unmoving on my seat, focusing my thoughts on the fact that Daniel's grip on my hand was slowly getting tighter with every passing second. He was nervous about this too.

Ten minutes of more driving later, the car came to a steady stop on the concrete ground. Tall wrought iron bars with point sharp edges that seemed to go on and on, were pretty much all we could see from our seats.

"Come one," he said, getting his seat belt off, and then noticed that I wasn't looking like I was ready to even budge from my seat. I simply stared at the bars that worked as a fence for the area. "Norah..." I turned to look at him, an empty look in my eyes. "Trust me."

With the same empty eyes, I unlocked the door and clambered down. Daniel took my hand back in his after he walked over to my side and led me towards the open gate made from the same iron as the fence.

The blades of the over grown grass made a sound against my jeans as we kept on walking deep inside the area where the Bishop family plot was.

A bunch of fresh looking lilacs lied on the black marble headstone. I got down on my knees direct across from the writing inscribe in the marble.

'Our littlest angel who went back to Heaven. Here lies Emma Kristina Bishop. Loving granddaughter. Loving daughter. Loving sister.'

"You know I never got to know what they had put up for inscription on her stone. I never could make myself come here again after the funeral," I said to Daniel, but my eyes didn't flicker away from the words as I read them over and over again until I was sure they were never going to leave from my memory.

Daniel sat down beside me too. "You never felt like talking to her?"

I shook my head. "Not really. I never knew what to say," I whispered. "I still don't."

For a day in the first week of November, the day was oddly clear today. Though there was not much coming from the sun today, it still felt warm. Soft breeze ruffled the grass around, and listening to its soft hollow sound mixing with the random chirps that came from here and there, we sat cross-legged, silent.

How do people do this? And most importantly, why do they do this?

The people with their names written on all these headstones, they're not listening. They aren't here. So what will talking to these dead rocks do? Why torture yourself, put yourself through the misery of remembering the past, just to satisfy our macabre hope that our loved ones never really leave us?

For me, let alone talking to her, just the thought that my own real sister lied six feet under where I sat was enough to make my head swirl and my stomach churn.

"Hi, I'm Daniel." My head snapped in his direction, but he wasn't looking at me. "I have heard a lot about you, so it's only fair that we do get introduced to each other and since your sister won't do it, I guess that I'll have to do it by myself."

With an amused look, I raised my eyebrow at the way he was talking as if really there really was someone there, beside the two of us. Daniel turned to me with a shrug and a slight sheepish look. "What? I am just giving you an opening."

I sighed internally, pursing my lips. "It's pointless. She's not here, she isn't listening so who am I gonna talk to then?"

"You've got this whole thing wrong, butterfly," he pointed, with a shake of his head. "People don't come to cemeteries to make the dead listen, they come with the hope that they can talk, about the things that remained unsaid, and the things that are sometimes hard to share with anyone else."

I quickly closed my eyes, heaved a sigh and then opened them back again. "Fine." I clasped my hands together, turning back to face the headstone. "Hey, Em."

I fell silent, not knowing exactly how to carry on from here. I turned to Daniel with pleading eyes to not to make me do this. Instead, he made a prompting face for me to go on.

Huffing another sigh, I did what he wanted. "Sorry, that I never visited 'cause you know I was busy being stupid. I am sure you know everything so I'll just skip it. So...umm...what else...umm...I am sorry, for breaking your promise too. In my defence, he was really annoying me so I had to..."

"Yep, I take the blame for that," I heard Daniel say from behind, and get up from his spot. "I'll be waiting in the car."

Taking a step towards me, he left a kiss on my forehead and then walked back where we had come from.

With a half-smile, I watched as he disappeared behind a row of trees and then looked back at Em's grave.

"This is weird," I mumbled to myself, but then thought of trying this one more time. "So...uh...I don't really know what to say right now. Umm...so everything's alright at home. Dad and mom too...yeah, oh right, I am sorry about that Nathan ordeal too. I am assuming here that you understand what happened then so yeah, and umm..."

I breathed out again, letting out a nervous chuckle like sound. "I don't know, Em, this is hard. I keep talking to you all the time in my mind but this feels so strange...I don't know, I'm just really lost how you actually felt about me. Did you want me to be in your place? Did you really hate me about what happened? 'Cause if you're, I am sorry about that but...but I don't want to think anymore that it was my fault. I'm just really tired of blaming myself, turning everything around to make it look like everything happened because of me. Do you think you can do it too? Do you think you can let me off?"

I ran my fingers through my hair, taking a quick glance at the sky above. "You remember how you once told that you could feel in your bone when you were with Nate that you two are really meant for each other? Well, I never really believed that. Until now, that is. And Daniel, he's just so...sometimes I am afraid that all my issues will drive him away, like someday, he would get so overwhelmed with the mess I can be sometimes and that it will push him over the edge. And-and I don't want that. I am not stupid, I know it will never be alright knowing that you aren't here. There will never come a day when I would have made peace with the fact that you left us, but I also don't want him to have just this sad, depressed part of me. I want to be happy too. You can both be happy and sad at the same time, right?" I paused, like I was actually waiting for her response. "When he's around, it's not like all my problems go away, but I feel like there are better things to live for, and that feels great, to have reasons to live. And I don't want to lose it. I don't want to lose him. So, please if you can, let me free of this guilt and forgive me, ‘cause I think I am ready to forgive myself. Please Em..."

It felt different to have those words out in the open. It was liberating feeling, but also there was this part of my brain that was busy in reminiscing in the memories I had shared with my sister.

Maybe that's why people still do the painful task of talking to these graves, because every time they come here, another part of them, no matter how big or how small that part might be, it is set free.

With misty eyes and a small smile, I walked out of the cemetery.   

"How did it go?" Daniel asked, sitting on the hood of his car.

"Can't tell you. It's between sisters," I replied, smiling. "So I am presuming my dad told you about this cemetery?"

Nodding his head, Daniel wrapped his hand around my stomach and swiftly pulled me over one of his leg, so that now I was sitting in between his legs as he pressed the tip of his nose against my cheek. "Yep, sorry for going behind your back but your dad too thought that this needed to be done."

"I am not complaining." Shutting my eyes close, I leaned towards him as his other arm came to rest on my lap. "Can I ask something?"

"Hmm."

"It must be really annoying to you how much I whine, right? About Emma?"

He pulled back to resond with a frown. "Norah, you can talk to me about her or anything as much as you want. It's not whining and it will never get annoying."

"I don't like it that among the two of us, you're now the wise one who gets to say all the nice things," I fake scowled.

He shrugged his shoulders in a bragging sort of manner. "What can I say, I am the whole package, babe."

I chuckled, shaking my head. "You just love yourself, don't you?" I ran my fingertips on his hand lying on my lap. "Hey, the thing you said about it not being about if they're listening, but because you get to say what you want to but can't..."

"Yeah? What about it?" He asked with a frown.

"It's kind of the same idea why you wrote those letters, right?"

Daniel rolled his eyes. "It always comes back to those letters for you, doesn't it?"

I laughed at his not so amused expression and then got down from his lap. "Come on. We need to go somewhere."

"Where?" He asked, getting down from the hood too.

"Home."

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"Home?" he asked, as I towed him through the narthex of St. Benno cathedral. "Correct me if I am wrong, even though I am not, but this is a church."

"I know," I replied with a sweet smile.

"Okay, is this the moment where you tell me that we're getting married at this very second because I really love you, but shouldn't we first discuss about this?"

"Nobody told you, you should talk so much in church?" I asked rolling my eyes.

"Not really, I've never been to one before," he answered, scanning the paintings of the gallery.

I turned to give him a look of disbelief. "Really?"

He responded with a similar look. "It can't be that you're just now realizing that I am not a Christian, right?"

"No, of course I know that," I said, lightly pushing the wooden door of the area where the service takes place. "It's just a little surprising that you've never been inside a church."

"Yeah well, so why are we here again?" Daniel inquired as we walked down the aisle, with all the pews on both sides completely unoccupied. His attention was on the high rib vault ceiling that never failed to fascinate anyone who saw it.

While he was busy with that, I stepped towards the raised altar. Our family had a lot of memories associated with this church. My parents were married here, both Em and I were baptized here too and one of the silliest yet the sweetest memories I had of this place, was when Nate and Em staged their fake wedding here. Of course, had she actually been here this is where they would have actually gotten married someday too and that's what I actually used to think would be the next major event that would have taken place at this altar, but instead it came out to be her funeral.

"My grand dad is a Bishop here. We're gonna meet my grandparents," I answered, turning away from the altar.

Daniel's head snapped to me. "What? Meeting the grandparents, but that's a huge step! I don't think I am ready for that."

I crossed my arms over my chest. "You done being dramatic?"

"Yeah, almost," he answered with a grin. "Wait, your grandfather is a Bishop?"

"Yeah, so?"

He chuckled to himself, having found something funny in what I had said. "That makes him Bishop Bishop."

I looked back at him with a deadpan expression. "Boy, your humor level does have some really low points, doesn't it?"

He opened his mouth but a voice beat him before he could say anything. "Nyura?"

I turned on my heels, to greet Pastor William. He was a middle age man with short build, and distinguishable red hair. He had been working with my grandfather for the last sixteen years.

"Hello, Father William," I said with a smile. "How have you been?"

"I am good. How have you been, kid? It's been so long. The last time I saw you was years ago," he talked with a huge smile and gave a quick nod of acknowledgement in Daniel's way.

"Yeah, it's been," I answered. "Is grandpa here today?"

"Yes, he is. Wait here, I'll be sending him in a minute." Pastor William walked out of the door talking.

I turned back to Daniel who had his face set in a confused expression. "What?"

"Are we simply gonna ignore the fact that the guy called you Nyura?"

"Oh, that," I waved my hand. "Yeah, my grandma calls me that so some people here have caught on to that."

"Nyura? Hmm…sounds kinda European."

"Yeah, it's Ukrainian," I simply said.

"You're Ukrainian?" he asked, looking actually surprised.

"Yeah, three quarters, actually. You didn't know?" I asked, being a little surprised too how this had never came up before.

"Huh, you learn something new every day, I guess."

We spent the rest of the day at my grandparents’ house. Grandma prepared a load of food and made sure that we were stuffed to the limit that we couldn't even move from our seats. While I was used to this kind of grandmother love, Daniel wasn't but he seemed to adapt really quick. He answered every single of the long list of questions that both of my old folks had for him, insisted on helping grandma with the dinner and washed all the dishes after we were done with it. Of course, my grandparents were already impressed with him when he had told them about his college plans at MIT. It was obvious that he had gotten the approval of my grandparents.

As for me, I simply enjoyed my time. It felt good to be back. It didn't feel heavy or gloomy like the last time I was there. Everything seemed better or at least on its way to getting better, until I went to Emma’s old room.

It was around eleven in the night and I was sitting on one of the huge rocks lying in the front yard. I stared blankly at the huge window on the second floor of the house directly on the opposite side of the road. It was Nate's house. The curtains were completely drawn, unlike what his windows normally looked like. He had a habit of leaving all the windows open to let in the cold night air inside the room.

Did he know that I was in town? Would he talk to me if I went over there? Was he ever gonna talk to me?

"Can't sleep?" Daniel sat down on one of the rocks to my right.

"Needed some fresh air," I answered, turning to him. I raised my eyebrows at him, looking at his unbuttoned shirt. "Seriously? It's freaking November. You can probably use the buttons."

"Oh, please, don't act like you're not enjoying it. I mean, come on." He gestured towards his body and yes, of course I did stare at it, but the good thing was that I could now do it and admit it too. "See, that's what I am talking about."

"Yeah, yeah, we get it, Daniel, you're hot. There. Now, stop freezing yourself to death please," I said, rolling my eyes. With a grin, he started buttoning his shirt. "And by the way, why haven't you gone to sleep yet?"

"Ask that to the gigantic, glow in the dark 'Jesus loves you' poster in my room staring right in my face every time I try to close my eyes," he said, stretching his arms.

"Yeah, that could be a little uncomfortable." I rubbed my palms together.

"Yeah..." he trailed off. He didn't say anything for a while, which was an obvious sign that he had something on his mind that he wanted to ask. "Now, tell me the real reason why you couldn't sleep?"

"I went to her room. Now, I have a head ache."

Her room still stood like her shrine that might never have any change made in it. It still had her presence all over the place and as much as I would like to say that it didn't unnerve me in the slightest, it wasn't the truth.

"I want to make everything alright, Daniel. I want a way out of the lies," I confessed, looking at the ground.

"You already know how to do that, Noh," he said, quietly.

"There's no other way, is there?" I asked. "I need to tell my parents."

"You need to tell your parents," he repeated.

I breathed out a tired sigh. "Fine, then that's what I am going to do."

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