Hola!

I posted earlier than I expected so I am really happy however, it's not a really great chapter or anything. More like a filler. But it's important for the story too so I hope you like it. =)

The banner on the side is by Effat8982. Isn't it awesome? I love it. Thank you sooooooooooooooo much. ♥♥♥

Song on the side---Moondust by Jaymes Young. The guy has the voice of an angel. Listen to it. =)

Enjoy ♥

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Have you ever been to New York? Even if you haven't, I still want you to picture this. Okay, imagine you're walking down in the city and you see three people strolling down the place.

Did you imagine it?

Good.

Now, I want you to picture two of these three people wearing identical all size 'I ♥ NY' T-shirts, caps, wrist bands and back packs.

What's the first thing that you think about these people? Well, whatever you did, I am sure that it was exactly what the people passing by us as we exited the arrival terminal of JFK airport were thinking.

"Why god, why?" I muttered over dramatically and looking up towards the ceiling as I pushed my luggage. "For which sin am I getting this punishment for?"

"Did you just say something?" Nathan inquired turning around, even though we both knew that he head heard me earlier.

"Nope, nothing," I replied. "Silent as a grave I was."

Nathan didn't retort back, just silently carried on walking all the while having a smile on his face, not like it was something strange. The boy smiled a lot, even when he didn't have a reason most of the time. He was good at hiding what he really felt.

We waited on the sidewalk and the two men just enjoyed breathing in the heavily polluted air of the city until Nathan finally flagged down a taxi and giving me a break from my eye-rolling and mumbling.

The cab driver, a middle age man, whose looks told me he was from South East Asia, raised an eye as he noticed dad and Nathan's choice of attire, but then started loading our bags in the trunk.

"It's such a great feeling being here. I've missed it so much," Dad began as our cab started making its way in between the infamous New York traffic.

Since we had walked out of the threshold of our house, dad and Nathan had spare no effort in trying to sell me the idea of how perfect living in New York would be. I now knew of all the great violin schools in the area that prepared students for Julliard auditions, all thanks to Nathan who had spent all the flight on his making a list of them and telling me his views about every single one of them.

"You come here like every other week. How much could you actually miss it?" I commented, giving my dad a look. He completely ignored it.

"But you gotta admit there's no better place to call it home better than this," Nathan interjected, looking out of the window having a star-struck look in his eyes, which was obviously for show.

"Yep, messed up pollution level, no place to walk, and the people rude as hell," I enumerated but then shut my mouth as I noticed the cab driver giving me a stink eye. Feeling sheepish, I mumbled, "Sorry."

Okay, I'll admit that it was indeed a very beautiful city. Or maybe, beautiful wasn't the word. Different. Yes, it was different. It was in a league of its own. The bright lights, the energy, the never ending sea of faces of people busy in their lives, and the tall buildings with more number of floors than I couldn't possibly count without spraining my neck first. But I still couldn't imagine living anywhere else than Cassell Brook because even though our little town didn't have the kind of life that New York did, it still had my life there.

"You can always find something wrong in a place," Dad advised, switching to his wise demeanour. "Try to see the positive things first."

Nathan nodded his head, showing that he agreed with the advice while I kept quite and watched outside of the window to look at road bustling with people spending their Saturday afternoon.

I was busy in blankly staring at everything that we passed and didn't even notice when the taxi came to a stop in front of a building, but as I craned my neck to get an idea where we were, I felt confusion taking over because it wasn't any hotel as I had expected. Instead, it was a residential complex.

"Why are we here?" I was almost on the verge of slipping into hyperventilation mode.

Are we permanently moving? So this was not just a trial weekend thing? OMG! This cannot happen! No, no, no, they couldn't do this to me!

"Holy hell, Noh breathe." Nathan said, a little worried but more amused as I could tell by his chuckling. "It's just for the weekend. I promise."

That did ease me up a bit but not completely. I was still very much confused. "Then why the hell aren't we in front of a hotel like people on a weekend trip are supposed to be?"

"It belongs to one of my work friends. Said we could use it for the weekend," dad explained, getting out of the cab. I clambered out too, followed by Nathan.

I took two things from it. One, that I hadn't been fooled to move there without my consent, and second, that my dad had friends! Like, since when?

"So there won't be any "welcome to your new home where you're trapped forever without any chance to escape. Enjoy" banner if I open the main door?" I asked, walking through the lobby door of the building.

"Don't worry, the banner is not that specific," dad simply answered, and my eyes went wide. "Kidding."

A simple tune played in the background as the elevator lifted us to the seventh floor where our home for the next two days behind the third door on the left side was.

"This is nice," Nathan mused entering the apartment, taking in every corner visible from where we stood. I aped his action too, my eyes roaming to register everything that I could in the minimalist styled apartment.

The walls were simple yet sophisticated painted in white and the ceiling in blue. The couch placed on a white rug followed the same color pattern of white and blue. A few inspirational photos hung on the wall behind the couch in simple white frames and a sleek black flat screen mounted on the opposite wall. The only remaining wall had on it two moderately large windows looking upon the city. Because I had a habit of summing up every home I went to, I categorized this one as a place which belonged to a Pinterest board. And a sweet smell, which I placed something like Dove soap, only up boosted its 'dream home' factor.

"I want everybody back here in ten," dad announced closing the door. "Freshen up quickly. We're eating out today."

"Sweet," Nathan sang and then ran off towards the nearby hallway like he already knew of the place well.

It was a little weird being in someone else's house without them being there so I couldn't shake the uncomfortable feeling as I started to explore the place to find a room to put my bag in and couldn't help the hesitant way I took the steps.

Instead of ten it took us more than half an hour to actually get out of the house and ironically the person to blame was my dad who couldn't decide which bowtie to wear for an outing in the city.

I don't know what was scarier, that I didn't even know that my father owned a collection of bow ties or the fact that my dad wore bow ties.

But at last we did finally manage to leave the apartment, had an over-priced meal in a nearby tiny french Brasserie and then went to the standard tourist spots, clicked way to many pictures for people who have visited New York as many times as we had, ate street food from some famous food trucks that my dad had seen on Food Network. The most interesting thing in all of this was Dad and Nathan did all of these things still wearing their matching T-Shirts, but this time I was kind of amused with their goofiness.

Silly men.

Unfortunately, in the amid of taking an evening walk in the Central Park dad got a call from work and had to return to the apartment, while Nathan and I stayed back.

"Man, I don't remember it being this huge when we last came here," Nathan complained, grimacing at the fact that we had been walking for over an hour now.

The sun was almost gone, and the park was at its perfect fall perfection, with all of the fallen golden leaves, light breeze and the cups of pumpkin spice lattes in the hands of every other person roaming in the park.

"It has always been this huge, Nate," I informed, pulling my jacket close to me to fight the air that was getting cold slowly. "You're just getting old."

"If I am getting old, then that means so are you," he shot back, proud at his argument.

"Yeah, but I am still much younger than you so I still have more years," I carried on, as we passed the IMAGINE mosaic in the strawberry fields where musicians were lined up, all playing different songs. The one which stood out the most was yet another John Lennon song, Mother.

"Much? I am just two years older than you," Nathan protested, looking a little baffled at my exaggeration.

"Exactly my point. You're old," I drawled.

"Old? You know what two comes after? One. And do you know what one is? It's a really tiny number. Hence, two is a tiny number too. And I am not old."

"Whatever, grandpa."

We stopped near the bronze plaque with the name of the nations endorsing the place as the garden of peace.

"Hey, remember when we came here that other winter?" Nathan said, his eyes running along the names listed on the plaque.

"The one when you got the sudden crazy epiphany that you wanted to be an artist and then the three of us promised that we would visit this place every winter but eventually just forgot our pact?" I giggled, remembering the events of that particular winter. "God, we had such crazy expectations about life. Thought we could actually make that our tradition or something."

"Well, we were seven so who can blame us," Nathan replied, shrugging.

I raised an eye brow, smirking. "Bambino, Em and I were seven. You were nine!"

Nathan just shook his head in disappointment. "Why are you so obsessed with my age? I'm not that old!"

"Really? Then how do you explain that gray hair?" I pointed to his neatly coiffed hair.

"It's so sad when people think they are funny when they're not. My heart breaks for them." He sighed sadly, placing a hand over his heart. "And by the way, it wasn't a crazy epiphany; I just realized that art was my true calling."

"So why didn't you accept the scholarship from any of those art schools then? It was your dream to go to Yale, right?"

That's right. It wasn't just him who had the right to ask the tough questions.

"Some dreams are just meant to be forgotten, Niña," Nathan simply said, shrugging. Of course, he would always have something to say. "And beside, if would have gone to college, who would have taken care of my crazy Mexican mother. That mama bear needed her baby bear," his voice was all high pitchy and girlish as he said that.

"You sir, are an idiot." I rolled my eyes at him and he did the same but only he didn't look ridiculous while doing it.

"At least I am not as big of an idiot as this girl who cried to sleep that other day over a guy!"

He did not just say that.

"I wasn't crying over him!" I instantly defended myself.

"Nono, I've known you forever and I've this brain thing that lets me put two and two together."

"Well, your brain is putting two and two together and giving you a five, 'cause it's not what you are thinking," I objected, walking once again.

"Alright, so lucky coincidence, we're in a park with enough time in hand. Fess up!"

"I don't narrate the stories in which I'm the bad guy, so no thank you." I laughed nervously, suddenly craving a cigarette badly.

"Hardly think so that it could be true," he snorted.

If he only knew the other things I was responsible for.

"It is. Sometimes I even surprise myself with the things I do," I said, and as Nathan's eyes reflected back the confusion in them, I instantly felt stupid for it. "Kidding."

He didn't look convinced, not that I expected he would be. He was a person with a sharp brain and even sharper observing skills.

"Race you to the nearest exit?" I challenged, changing the subject.

Shrugging the pensive look off his face, he smiled. "Loser pays for the coffee."

"I'll have a white chocolate mocha," I yelled and sprinted off.

"We'll see."

_

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I lied on the bed, listening to my own breathing and the ticking of the wall clock hanging directly above the window which had its drapes pushed aside, allowing the outside light from the street to come in.

"Try to fall asleep," I told myself, but even I knew that it wasn't going to help.

Sitting up, I gave up on the idea of sleeping.

Forget it. Who needed sleep anyway?

Rolling off the bed, I walked over to the window and looked down to the below. So true were the words that this city never sleeps because there were just as many cars passing by as there were in the evening. It was close to twelve in the night right then.

Light drops of rain pattered down against the walls of the buildings, drowning the city in a strange melancholia.

Or maybe it was just my state that was pushing me to see things that weren't even there.

But just my imagination or not, watching the rain falling made me remember the rainfalls back home, and one specific one evoked a whirl of emotions in my chest.

I could still see his blue eyes like he was standing just in front of me. Here. Right now. Like I would reach out my hand and there he would be.

No.

Don't think about him. Not right now. Or if possible, never.

Hoping that maybe Nathan was awake, I padded towards the living room where he was supposed to be sleeping tonight. I was right, he wasn't asleep, but I didn't dare take a step more, because in his hands, securely clutched, was his phone. And on it was a picture, a picture which I could easily see from there, since Nathan had his back at me. The picture of the two of them, him and Em.

He whispered something softly, still looking at the screen and I questioned whether it was wrong of me to stand there and watch as he talked to my sister, the words not meant to listen by anyone else other than the person who couldn't possibly listen to them, no matter how much he wished for it.

But if the guilt of intruding this moment was heavy, then the need to see just how much Emma is being missed was heavier, so I didn't take step forward or backward.

"Having trouble falling asleep again?" I was startled at Nathan's voice that filled up the previously silent room. I was hoping that I could get away without being caught.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to disturb you," I replied back, shuffling my feet awkwardly debating if I should just go back to my room.

"Nah, it's okay," he turned his head to face me. "Come here. I was almost done anyway."

"Why aren't you asleep yet?" I asked, plopping down on the couch beside him.

"I was born sleepless, without a talent or desire for it," Nathan sighed dramatically, and threw the afghan, that he had draped around him, over my shoulder.

"Is that Fitzgerald?" I asked, nestling under the warm afghan.

"Yep." He nodded. "Scotty just gets me sometimes."

I chuckled and shook my head.

"You know Em would never have been able to guess it so easily," Nathan murmured, looking down at the phone screen once again, and there was that lost look in his eyes again. I looked up to stare the wall opposite to us.

"As if the girl ever picked up a book in her life." A chuckle almost left my lips remembering of all the times people tried to make her read a book and she would dismiss them with a flick of her hand and scrunching up her nose like reading could actually harm her physically.

"Why read when my own story is so interesting?" Nathan repeated what used to be Em's excuse for her lack of reading.

This time I didn't hold back the chuckle.

"She always had a good excuse for everything." I pulled up my knees on the couch, rubbing my palms over the knees.

"That she did," he agreed, then thought for a moment. "It bothers me that you gave up on reading too and that you gave up on your music. It really bothers me a lot."

I breathed in, held it in for a few seconds and let it out. "Don't worry about me."

"It's hard not to," he simply said and left me with nothing to reply with.

For some minutes neither of us said anything, just sat there listening to the faint sound of the city outside.

"Does it help?" I finally broke the comfortable silence, pointing towards the phone in his hand. "Talking to her?"

"It does." Nathan ran his thumb over his phone screen and a small smile appeared on his smile. "She's the only who can bear my never ending rants sometimes."

It was impossible not to smile at that, but there was also that sting in my chest.

Why had life become so empty for this perfect guy? He was the kind of person who deserved to be smiling all the time, but there he was, lost in the past because that was what he believed he had now.

"She is not here anymore, Nate," I stated. He needed to be told what he was already seeing but was not accepting.

Nathan shrugged lightly, a smile still there on his face but it was easy to tell that it was pained. "I know she's not listening, but that doesn't mean that I can't talk to her. Million of things were left unsaid, Noh. Things I wish I could have told her when I could but this is all I am left with. It's the next best thing."

I thought about what Nathan had said. Would he think the same thing if he knew the truth?

"Now, don't let that brain of yours to think too much," Nathan said, tapping my forehead with his pointer finger. "Go to bed."

Without any protest, I nodded and got up to walk back to my room.

"Hey, Noh." I turned around. "No matter what you say, I know you won't ever hurt someone knowingly, so don't punish yourself. Do what makes you happy. The lord knows you need something like that in your life."

I pondered on his words and then asked, "But what if it's not the right thing to do?"

"I'd rather be happy than right," he replied.

"Which book is this one from?" I asked, cocking my head to the side and an amused smile on my face.

"Hey, give me some slack, okay? It's hard to come up with original wise things to say that quickly," he told me, raising his hands in the air.

"Sure, whatever," I mumbled as I started walking towards my room again. "Good night, Nate."

"Good night, little bird."

An hour later I was still awake and then as I stared at the ceiling again, I kept on thinking what Daniel would be doing right now. He wouldn't have gone to bed, that was for sure. I knew that.

Was he thinking of me?

In a twisted way, I hoped that the answer for it could both be yes and no.

What if I call him right now? Would he answer?

Probably not.

But what if...

I picked up my phone lying under my pillow.

No. I shouldn't do that.

How about just a text?

Yes, maybe that would be better.

I had my thumbs poised over the screen.

But what would I say then?

Did I have the right to ask how he was? Or that I was worried that maybe he had started drinking again? Could I ask that?

Taking in a sharp breath, I quickly typed what came first to my mind and then hitting the send option, I let my phone fall back against the bed.

Daniel's pov-

The car roared as I pressed on the accelerator harder. The maximum speed limit was long forgotten as the car blazed past everything on the road.

The trees, the silent houses, the annoyingly brightly colored shops, all coming and going as blurs.

The speed of the car had gotten to that point that if I were to hit breaks right now, it would definitely going to topple over and the rest is left upon your imagination.

This was so bad.

But who gave a shit?

Not me. That was certain.

I was back to feeling like I used to. I was going at a crazy rate and there was not a single drop of fear in me. Instead, I was casually drumming my finger on the steering wheel along with the loud beats of some heavy metal crap baring from the speakers.

I couldn't care less to find out what I was actually listening to.

And in between the ear deafening sound of the song, trying weakly to make itself heard, was my phone's ringtone which had been going off every few minutes, with the screen lighting up with Anya's name.

Seriously, the girl needed to stop. She was wasting her time, trying to knock some sense in me.

I was a hopeless case, she should know.

Ignoring the call once again, I looked up towards the road which was taking me out of the town. The area was slowly getting darker and quieter as I drove further.

How long would it get me to be lost completely?

The song on the speaker ended, and for just a few seconds until the new song came, everything was silent and just then my screen of my phone lit up once again.

At first I thought of ignoring it, thinking it of another way Anya trying to know where I was, but then I couldn't tell what but something in me made a little nag to see it.

So with one hand on the steering wheel, and my eyes on the road, I picked up the phone from the dash board and as my eyes fell on the sender, the grip on the wheel threatened to loose.

*Good night*

What?

What was this supposed to mean?

This girl seriously made my head spin. First she ignores me, then tells me to be with someone else, and then sends me a goodnight message.

What was that she exactly wanted? Because I was kind of giving up on trying to figure out what went in her head. Trying to make sense of what Norah Bishop thought or did was like trying to tell the smell of colour nine.

But keeping the whole confusion aside, I couldn't help but let go off the force I had on the accelerator.

The car slowly decelerated, the speed dying slowly.

Slowly and stealthily, it was back. The ache. The pain. The feeling of my breath stuck inside.

I hated feeling this way.

She had the power to make me feel this vulnerable.

Sometimes, I wished I could shut it all down or maybe find a way to lose all my memory. But the thought of not remembering her at all was scarier than feeling like the way I did now.

I sighed and let my head fall wall back on the headrest of the seat.

What should I do now?

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Filler! Nothing major happening, but it will soon be here. I wasn't originally planning on writing the Daniel's pov but I've been missing writing about him as he hasn't really been in the last few chapter so I was like 'what the hell, lets see what's going in that boy's head'

So the next chapter would be here soon but it's not too eventful either, more than this one at least but not like one of those OMG! chapters. Buuuuuut the chapter after that will be exciting for me to write and for you to read. =)

Until next time! =D

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