Hello!

I know, a super late update again but look at least it's really long. It took me a long time to get this chapter finished because I was just a hard time writing anything. It was like a mental block. It's not the chapter that I mentioned in the last one because I made little alteration to the story but it still has something that hopefully you'll like.

Btw did you know that Taissa and Jeremy are gonna star in a movie together. I mean what are the chances? I was like WHAT?! when I saw the article. Too bad they aren't exactly casted opposite each other.

That being of my chest, here's the chapter. 

Enjoy♥

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"Oh my god! You poor thing! How are you holding up?"

Stopped on my way to my third hour class, I turned around, and got knocked over with the power that Shay enveloped me in her arms.

"What happened? Tell me everything!"

I pulled away from her, and pulled up a tired, sombre 'post-breakup' face.

I did that a lot, right? Acting?

Seriously, it was getting kind of ridiculous by now, how half of the time I was either pretending or spinning one lie or another.

Anyway...

"It was a mutual decision. It's fine," I answered, a small polite smile instantly up on my lips.

"No, it's not!" Shay shook me, gripping my shoulders hard. "It's not at all fine!"

She was reacting over this much more intensely than I was supposed to be doing.

But then again she was Shay.

"It is. And I am alright with that." I started to walk towards my class after the second bell rang, but Shay followed me, walking side by side with me.

As if just to make the scene seem like from a teenage movie, Seb appeared from the hallway that we were just about to go in. Shay glared at him, not even knowing why she was exactly doing it, but according to the unspoken rules of 'girl world', after a friend goes through break-up, hate the ex first, ask questions later.

Seb and I exchanged a look, and then I looked down, just to make the situation seem realistic.

"Urghh! What a jerk." Shay made a face, following Seb with her eyes to his classroom. "Anyway, how about a slumber party tonight at my house? We can invite all the girls, eat ice cream, watch movies and trash-talk Sebastian?"

And then I had to ask myself: Did I really need more occasions to lie?

"I don't feel like it," I replied, looking dubious over the offer. "I think I just wanna be alone tonight. I am sorry."

She nodded, pursing her lips. "Of course. I get it. Stay strong, 'kay?"

And with another shake of my shoulder, she ambled off to her own class, or wherever she was required to be.

Entering the class, I quickly scanned the class to find an open seat. There were only two remaining; one near the window, and the other was ahead of Daniel's seat.

So I took the window seat.

After the rat thing in the dance, the next day was given as a break because therodent control people were called to get rid of the rat infested school, so I had a whole day to myself to formulate how I was going to steer things from there on. I had a way of handling things with him.

I was going to start distancing myself from him, slowly, bit by bit, so that it remains unnoticeable and still serves the purpose at the same time.

However, what did not go unnoticeable by Daniel was my choice of seat, by sitting one seat down from stinky-Stan, and he gave me a weird look. I acted as if I didn't even see it.

Again with the acting.

God, I was such a fake person.

Thankfully, the teacher came in allowing me to put my acting skills to rest, but she also came bearing surprise test papers, so that was kind of a bummer.

It took me exactly twenty seven minutes, forty six seconds to finish the test, and once I was done, I was just playing with me pencil, rolling it between my fingers when I heard my name being called in a whisper and then saw something falling on my hair.

 I ran a hand on it to take out the tiny bit of paper and then turned in my seat to shoot Daniel a look.

Really? Paper bits? How old were we? Seven?

But then I remembered that bantering with him wasn't exactly the way to create distance between us so I dropped the subject off and turned back to face the board where the teacher was starting to collect the answer sheets.

I started doodling something on the corner of the paper, erased it and started again and was perfectly occupied with the doing this number of times when I felt a tug at my ponytail. Branding it as probably an accident by Georgina who was sitting behind me, I didn't turn around, just sat up straighter on my seat.

But then I felt again, and this time I didn't need to turn around because the tug was hard enough to turn my face to meet the blue eyes staring at me curiously.

"Is this the way we say hello now?" I asked, my neck still locked in the awkward state.

"No, it's only for special times when someone is ignoring you," he replied, letting go off my ponytail when the teacher sent a sharp gaze in our direction.

"I'm not ignoring you."

Yeah, I am just thinking of better ways of doing that.

"Right," he said, his right eyebrow going just a little higher than the left one and I didn't know why but it felt like such a cute thing. "Anyway, I need to talk with you about something."

Why do people say that? It's like a for sure way of making your poor heart worry about over what could actually be nothing.

"What?"

"Not here," he said with a mix of nervousness, excitement, and anxiety swirling in his eyes. "Come over after school?"

"I can't," the words immediately left my mouth.

"Why not?" His eyes were narrowed, as if assessing something.

"Because I have something to do," I said, looking straight ahead again to not attract any more attention from the teacher.

"Like what?"

"Like...like...I don't know...finding out if Zulu people of Africa believe in marriages or not?"

What the hell was I talking about?

"They do," Daniel answered, without wasting any time. "There. Your work's done. Give me a call whenever you plan on coming."

And then he fell back on his seat, silent.

I probably even wanted to go spend time with him and to know what he wanted to tell me. But I was supposed to adopt the 'maintain distance' policy.

Oh, what the hell. It was just one day.

What the worse thing that could happen? I could always start the 'distance' thingy from tomorrow.

The notes of Vivaldi's 'Summer' from four seasons were rolling out as I stood in front of the dark colored door of Daniel's room.

He really listened to classical music a lot.

Weird kid.

I probably should have knocked instead of just standing there, but I waited for the piece to get over. Just like that. Standing absolutely still and doing nothing.

I was a weird kid too.

Thankfully, it wasn't one of those pieces that went on for hours and when it ended, I left two hasty raps on the wooden door.

Absentmindedly my fingers started to instruct the phantom bow along with the ups and downs of the music that I could still hear in my ears. It was a shame how I just decided one moment that I wasn't going to play violin anymore, and even more shameful was the way that I threw my violin out of the window, making every single wood fibre of it to come undone.

I let out a sigh. I missed playing it.

A snap of fingers pulled me back and made me notice the expression Daniel had on his face, leaning on the threshold of the open door.

"Back from your world?" he asked, pushing his sweaty hair back. In fact it wasn't just his hair that was sweaty.

"Is it a wrong time?" I pointed at the black tape wound around his right hand. If my assumptions were correct then he had been boxing before I had knocked.

"No, it's not. Come in." He stepped back to make room for me to enter. "I'll just be back."

I didn't reply seeing as he was already half way across the door to the bathroom. I just shrugged and looked around the dark room.

I walked over to the windows and slid the curtains open, allowing the evening light and air to enter the room.

There. Much better.

The music from the iPod which had changed to an Arctic Monkey song retracted back to playing another classic.

Beethoven Sonata No. 3

That made my attention to go to the fact that he had been listening to Vivaldi during boxing.

Who does that? This guy was such a confusing person.

Shaking my head, I thought of dropping the subject. I didn't need to understand him. I was supposed to do the opposite from now on.

Sliding the computer chair, that was away from its supposed place, back to near the table. I just rambled around the blue painted room. The bulletin board which was now that one picture short that now belonged in my room, the study table which had a clutter of books and papers scattered all over it, and the giant bookshelf with rows of books stacked up neatly, segregated into two groups.

Programming and Literature.

I paid more attention to the latter one.

Hemingway, Tolstoy, Steinback, Fitzgerald, Coelho, Victor Hugo. His interests seemed to be varied.

My pointer finger ran along the spines of the books, not searching for anything particular but careful not to skip any important one in my skimming. As my finger left the book jacket of The Christmas Carol and towards the cover of 'Atonement', I noticed the gap in between the two. Since it was the shelf that was above where my eyes could properly reach, I couldn't tell what was causing the distance and frankly, it shouldn't have. It was not my room that I was snooping around, but I was already intrigued and it was well known thing to me that I wasn't a very nice person who did the right thing, so I stood on my toes, to get a better view.

In the shadows of the recess created by the hardcover of the two book, lied a thick stack of paper. I pulled it out.

A thin yet strong string looped around the stack of envelopes looked like letters. Not exactly counting, I just ran my thumb over the side of the letters to get an estimate.

There were a lot of letters.

Feeling the curiosity bubbling in me, I tried to convince myself to just look through one of them.

"But they could be private!" The reasonable part of my brain screamed.

"Just one," The other part, urged me to go ahead with the sin. "He won't know."

Just one, I repeated in my mind.

"Don't even think about it!" The letters almost fell from my hands as I was startled by the loud voice which had boomed through the room.

"I wasn't going to," I tried to make myself sound convincing to the boy who made his way towards me in fast strides and yanked the letters away from my grip. "They just fell from there."

I felt both embarrassment and disappointment as Daniel pulled the drawer of his study table and threw the letters in it; embarrassment of being caught, and disappointment of never getting to know what was in them.

"What are they?" I asked, letting my curiosity take over again.

"Nothing that concerns you," he simply answered. He didn't sound mad, just defensive.

"Letters from your Juliet?" I added, teasingly.

"Oh, yeah totally," he answered back with a taunting smile. "We talk all about the sun, the moon, and write haikus about our eternal love for each other."

"Sounds cool."

"It is."

And then the conversation died, but it seemed like I was the only who noticed that; because Daniel was still busy just staring blankly at the shut drawer which was assigned as the new keeper of the letters.

What was in them?

"So what did you want to tell me?" I asked after another moment of silence.

His eyes met mine, like I had told him something new but then as the words registered in them, he seemed to understand that he needed to explain the reason for this little meeting.

"Let's go downstairs," he suggested, and again without waiting for my reply was already ready to leave.

Something was definitely up with him today.

Like I usually did, I left the unusual behavior without any questioning, and traipsed after him.

The kitchen area was triple the size than usually kitchens are supposed to be. Now, I considered my own house kind of too pricey for my taste, thanks to my mother's need to renovate every few years, but this was like it belonged to some hotel in Dubai or something.

The marble counter tops, the fine flooring, and the high quality wooden cabinets were so squeaky clean that you could have a guilt attack for even tossing a dirty spoon in the sink.

"Rocky road or mint chocolate chip?" Daniel asked, his head sticking into the freezer.

Hmm, rocky road sounds good.

"Umm...Mint chocolate chip," I answered. "Now are you ready to tell what this is about?"

He set the ice cream tub on the counter, opened his mouth, kept it like that for a few seconds then closed it and rubbing the back of his neck, shook his head. "Maybe later. So anyway, what's up with you today? You're acting strange."

"Just keeping up the act of a heart broken person. I am a perfectionist," I gloated, so that I wouldn't have to tell the real reason.

"Just acting or..." he didn't finish. The question was self explanatory.

"What?" I laughed. "Why wouldn't I be acting?"

Daniel leaned forward, hand clamped on the counter after pushing the ice cream bowl towards me. "Don't tell me you never felt anything for him ever during all this time? He's gay, you're not."

"Well, don't you have a way with words?" I noted, spooning the ice cream. He shrugged.

Maybe he wasn't completely wrong. There might have been times when I felt little twinges of sadness after being reminded that whatever I had with Sebastian was utterly fake, but it wasn't just the prospect of not being with Seb, it was the sadness of knowing that I would never get to know what being in genuine love felt like. What it felt like to have someone who is willing to do anything for you. That was what made the sadness to run through my veins. Like now it did whenever I even looked at the tall boy standing in front of me.

The lack of any possibility.

"It's hard to have any feelings for someone who imagines Zac Efron every time they're kissing you," I said, like it was the natural answer which maybe it was.

Daniel's eyebrows arched in a questioning manner, prompting me to explain further.

"That's what he told me after the first time we kissed at school," I answered, trying not to laugh remembering the queasy look on Seb's face when he had told me that. "That in his mind he was picturing Zac Efron."

"Really? Zac Efron?" He laughed. It was a nice sound.

God, I was obsessed.

"That's harsh."

"Yeah, well I told him that he kissed like a girl so I guess that makes us even."

"Is it safe for adult ears to come in?" A third voice broke in making my cheeks to instantly flare up.

"H-hello Mr. Cohen," I stuttered as Daniel's father walked in the kitchen, dressed in a dark grey business suit which looked a creased in some areas, a sign of a busy day, but his hair looked like it had been just styled.

"Just here for a glass of water. Pretend I'm not even here," Daniel's dad said, opening the cupboard above the oven and then turned towards Daniel. "Did you tell her yet?"

"Um-no," Daniel replied, not looking at either of us.

"Well, it's a great news. I think you should," the older Cohen advised the younger one.

"Just tell me already," I piped in, the anticipation growing. "I wanna know."

"Well, Daniel here got an early acceptance approval from MIT. Just one interview and then it's all set." Daniel's dad patted his son on the back and you could feel the sense of being a proud father from the way his eyes shone.

"That is great!" I stood up from my seat with a big smile. "I'm so happy for you! Wait...this was what you were so nervous to tell me?"

"No, it's not," he simply answered in a discouraged tone, which was so not the tone we were expecting.

"It's not?" I repeated, and then looked over to the man in the business clothing for any help but instead found him switching his gaze from Daniel and me, with an unexpected look on his face, like he was processing something in his mind.

Having a different matter to deal with, I didn't dwell much on it.

"Well, I'll leave you two talk. I'll be upstairs if you need anything." Daniel's father left the kitchen, his voice getting muffled as he walked away.

"Okaaay," I drawled to help myself get rid of the awkwardness that I was feeling. "Wanna go outside?"

Daniel just pointed to the bowl in front of me with a look that asked, "Aren't you gonna eat that?"

Suddenly feeling the excessive need to go out, I picked up the glass bowl and gulped down the scoop all at once.

I probably looked like a chip-munk with my cheeks inflated like balloons. But the question was, who cared?

"Okay, that's definitely not something a human should be able to do," Daniel pointed out with an astounded expression like I had just killed a bunny and had made a hat out of it.

"I live for such things," I answered, my mouth still full of ice cream, and biting down on my tongue to subdue the pain that was cutting through my brain.

I swear I was a little convinced that I was going to die someday because of my offbeat habit.

Death from brain freeze.

Elegant.

"Disgusting," Daniel mouthed the word as I walked around the counter to put the bowl in the sink, and there was that guilt feeling, for staining the perfection of the unblemished kitchen.

I shrugged, both as a reply to Daniel and for me to stop feeling bad about dirtying a bowl.

The sky outside was losing the orange hue, that it had acquired earlier on the evening, as the last ray of sunshine prepared to leave. The branches of the trees lined on both sides of the trees moved along with the gust of wind that swept every few seconds. A few dark clouds were starting to come together to work as a mass and hang overhead.

I sat on one of the cushioned seats of the newly installed gazebo in the front yard while Daniel remained standing up, arms crossed.

The street was silent except for the few kids in the lawn of a Prairie school styled house, all from the age group of six-eight, who were playing tag, laughing, and messing around with each other. Two women, in their mid thirties, lounged on the lawn chairs taking the whereabouts of the kids every few minutes.

A girl, not older than seven years, came out of the front door of the house, wearing a white tee and black tulle skirt, her soft brown hair held up with a black ribbon. As soon as the kids playing in the yard saw her, they all ran towards the young girl, circling her, every single one of them trying to get her attention.

She immediately reminded me of Emma. The looks, the smile, and the ooze of the confidence from just the way she looked at everybody.

It wasn't the first time that I was doing it. Any time I saw any group of kids, it was a little ritual of my own to find someone who reminded me of someone, like that brunette girl or the boy in the green shirt whom the girl was giving the most attention. That boy reminded me of Nathan.

I looked over to Daniel who was looking in the direction of the kids too, with no expression. Just plain old nothing.

For me those children were like a reminder of my childhood, which I considered was perfect, but Daniel's wasn't. So that made me wonder what was going on his mind. Was he thinking about James? Of that scary winter night? Of all the abuse?

Was he thinking all those things standing on the rails of the bridge too?

"What were you thinking that night?" I asked, before even considering once if I should do it.

"A lot of things," he answered, still looking straight ahead.

"Are they always on your mind?" I inquired further.

He turned to face me. "Not always. It's just some days and when it becomes just too much, I drink and then incidents like the bridge happen."

"Then maybe you shouldn't drink," I suggested.

"I am working on that. The last time I drank was before the accident," he answered, and sat on the seat three spaces away from mine.

"Really?" I couldn't fight back the smile that I felt from the spurt of hope that I got from his reply.

It was good sign. It meant that maybe he had been feeling better, maybe he was learning how to handle his thoughts and it wasn't just a good sign. It was a great sign.

And plus he was going to freaking MIT! Good things were starting to happen for him finally. And I was really happy and excited for him but then why was there a tiny bit of sadness in me about the thought that when high school was going to end, he would be gone for a better life, and slowly I would become another person whom he just knew from school. Or if my incorrectly wired brain and ideas succeeded, then I would become even worse of a memory for him.

I blinked a few times and told myself not to think about it. It was one of those subjects that never ended up on a good note.

"What are you thinking?" He asked and I found him looking directly at me. It was slightly difficult for me to look back straight so I looked away.

By now it had become a Herculean task to be around him without experiencing the wave of nervousness and silliness.

Stupid crush.

"Nothing," I answered, pulling myself together. "I was just thinking how awesome it is that you're getting into MIT."

"Yeah, but I still have an interview left tomorrow so..." he answered, in the same tone that he had used inside, as if he was telling me that it was going to continuously rain for the next three months or something.

"You do wanna go there, right?"

"It's not about going to some engineering school," he answered, running his hands over his face.

"Then what is it about?" I asked, and then started to move a little closer to him but then stopped as soon as the 'maintain distance' bell went off in my mind. "It's obvious there has been something going on in your mind today. Planning on sharing?"

"Maybe some other day," he said and then smiled. It was small but a real one.

I should have looked away. I knew should have. Because I knew it very well that having these kind of silent staring moments weren't serving the purpose of the separation from him that I should be working on, but then I just couldn't. I couldn't because for those brief moments, I felt the spark of a warmth and life igniting in me. In those few seconds I could imagine a life time that never was going to take place. And the thought of it was all I had so I didn't look away.

My phone went off in my pocket, and I tipped my face down knowing that it was getting filled by color already.

It was a text from dad, and I was prepared to feel the disappointment expecting it to be another 'going to New York' message, but instead it was just to ask if I was going to be home for dinner or not.

I quickly replied and then slid the phone back in my pocket.

"My dad wants me home for dinner. I should go," I spoke, drawing his attention back from the rain that had started to pelt down as a shower. The kids playing in their front yard were gone now. "Good luck for your interview tomorrow."

"Thanks. I'll see you on Thursday then."

I nodded and stood up to make a run towards the car.

The distance between the gazebo and my car was not too much but my extremely high heeled boots were making it tough to walk in the grass. I was almost in the touching distance of my car when I felt my left foot digging into a marshy patch of land, making me trip forward. Prepared to face the embarrassment, I was about to fall flat on my face when the tight hold on my forearm steadied me.

"You really need to figure out how this walking thing works," he said, with both amusement and a trace of seriousness.

I stood up back on my feet. "Where's the fun in it?" I jived, so as to save myself from humiliation.

"You're an idiot," I heard him say with a chuckle, and to shoot him a glare or something of the likes, I turned around and was very soon notified how wrong of a move that was, because there was little to no distance between us. And then I made another bad move, I looked up. So now there we were staring straight into each other's eyes, because I being myself, couldn't pull myself back from swooning over his eyes. It was unfair how perfect those eyes were or just how perfect he was in general. I had no chance.

What I was expecting from my mind was to scream something like "retrieve!" or something, but what I got was this blank.

Only thing I could make out was that Daniel was in the same state of my mind as I was, but then his eyes shifted quickly from my eyes to a little down.

Oh my god! Oh my god! Oh my god!

His right hand encircled around my waist, fingers lightly brushing my skin that was exposed as my shirt had hitched up a little. A shiver dashed down my spine with the sensation that his fingers were leaving in their wake. My eyes closed down involuntary.

 There was now a little nudge in my brain to rethink about what was happening, but just as I sensed the distance between us become non-existence, all went blank again. All my resilience gone, I was defenceless.

Like it was supposed to be a natural reaction from me, I was leaning closer, eyes still closed and the rapid flow of my blood audible in my ears.

Once I felt his lips on mine, the feel of my heartbeat was gone, the force of the rain falling was gone, and the sound of anything that was around was gone.

It was just him.

His other hand curled up under my jaw, slowly moving up, leaving a trail of warmth behind despite the chilly rain. It was nothing I had felt before and I wanted more of it. I wanted to be as close to him as possible.

My arms went up, and my fingers intertwined behind the nape of his neck.

I felt myself being backed against the cold metal door of my car, with our lips were still pressed together, moving in soft motions. It wasn't anything wild or ferocious. It was gentle, like a delicate, cozy feeling and I loved every second of it.

I believe my mind had gone so blank that I had even lost track of time because I couldn't tell how much time had passed before he pulled away. Could be a minute, an hour, a week anything. All I knew was that when he did there was a whine of disappointment in me.

I dared not to open my eyes fearing that all the elation that I was feeling would come crashing down. I just kept my eyes shut, and unlinked my hands to bring them back. His arms dropped from my waist too and the second they did, I was already missing their feel.

Slowly, I opened my eyes and the first thing that I saw were his eyes that looked more blue and alive than ever. I didn't need to see it to know that my own pupils were blown too. I bit my lower lips and saw his eyes track their movement with a hint of smile on his face.

His eyes rose up back to find mine, and our faces were still so close that I could feel his breath on my cheeks and it was driving me crazy.

I could have spent my life staring back at what was my new favorite view in the whole world, but then my brain which had been quite all this time powered up.

One minute there was nothing and in the very next, there was everything.

The realization of everything plunged down on me and it was powerful enough to almost rob me of my breath.

What had I done?

So much for distancing myself.

I think my mental freak out was visible on my face too because a look of confusion was taking over Daniel's eyes.

"I-I'm s-s-sor-" Words seemed like an alien concept to my mouth. My legs were taking steps away from him all the while I tried not to feel torn by the look on his face.

I didn't want to leave him like that. It was heartless and cruel but it needed to be done.

So that's what I did.

I left.

I got in my car and drove the hell out of there. Like the coward that I was.

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I know a lot of the readers were waiting for this. So here you go. Hoped it was what you were expecting. =)

The next chapter will be the introduction of a new character which will bring a new twist to the story. I'm stoked! 

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