Dedicated to Damned_Reality for her support to the story. Thank you ♥

Hey y'all! How is every one?

So here is the chapter with one of the major explanation. I wrote this chapter three times and still am not sure if it turned out to be any good. So please tell me your honest views about it. I can always rewrite it. =)

Enjoy ♥

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Five minutes later, I was still on my bed, nervousness filling me up.

Okay Norah, there's nothing to be worried about. Maybe it won't be too bad.

But then what if it was something I couldn't handle. Like what if he was dying or something.

No, he couldn't be dying. Right?

There was only one way to know. I had to go out and listen to what he had to say.

After having the little debate in my mind, I finally hopped off the bed to go to my dad's room. The door was slightly ajar.

"Dad, I'm going for a walk, 'kay?" I informed him, peering through the crack.

He shifted his attention from the book in his hand.

The Kite Runner

"Now? But it's already dark," he said using his stern father voice.

"It's just nine, dad. And we won't go far. Just around the block," I reasoned, tilting my head to the side.

"We?" His eyebrows rose up. "As in you and your gay boyfriend?"

I shook my head, chuckling. "No, we as in me and my straight friend who you met today," I answered, pressurizing the word 'friend'.

"Daniel?"

"Yeah."

He thought for a minute. "Fine, but be back soon. And remember, no puzzling, okay?"

He was having too much fun at my expense.

I rolled my eyes at that. "Yeah, got it. No puzzling."

He nodded, satisfied, and I ran down the stairs, almost tripping once.

"Finally," I heard him say the moment, I opened the front door. "I was ready to throw rocks at your windows."

"And then my dad would have shot those rocks right back at you," I answered, heading towards the hedge, against which Daniel was leaning.

"Then would you have come running down, and put my head on your lap as I died in your arms?" Daniel asked, with a feign dramatic expression.

"Nah," I drawled. "I would have thrown more stones and laughed at you like a maniac."

"And that's the modern day heroine for you, people," he announced to the imaginary audience, shaking his head in disapprobation.

"Sure is," I said, smirking a little. "Now are we going to stand here all night or are we going to start moving?"

"Look at you, Ms. Bishop. So excited to go on a little walk with me," he teased, smiling.

"Fine, good night, see ya." I turned around to walk back inside but he stopped me by grabbing my forearm.

Okay, why did he have to that all the time? I mean it wasn't like it was bothering me but I really didn't like the way my brain and body reacted to his touch.

Stupid teenage feelings and all.

"I was just kidding," he said, dropping my arm and I felt much more relieved. "Let's go."

And that weird feeling in my stomach that told me something was wrong, returned because he had dropped the cheerfulness from his voice.

We were walking near the playground that was at the end of my block and from the time we had left my lawn, Daniel hadn't said a word, just thinking hard about something. And since I didn't want to rush him, I stayed quiet too.

Instead of walking ahead, I turned towards the gates of the playground, and Daniel followed without even questioning once.

"Sorry, I just wanted to take a break," I said, although I doubted that he was even listening to me.

But his blue eyes turned in my direction, and there was a confusion that had settled in them. 

"What?" he questioned and then registered what I had said. "Oh yeah...it's okay...it's fine."

I nodded. 

"Hey, you alright?" I couldn't resist my temptation to ask anymore.

"Honestly? I don't know," he replied in a dazed manner.

"You don't have to tell me if you don't want to," I tried to lift the pressure of him. "As I said, it's not a give and take situation."

He thought intently about it and at one point I actually thought that he had taken my offer but then he spoke, "No, I need to do this. I just don't know where to begin."

"Okay, but like seriously, relax. Don't torture yourself too much." I guided both of us toward a jungle gym set standing at the end of the area. It was one of those complicated type with swing, slides, tunnels, ropes and ladders all in one. I sat on one of the bars of the ladder which was basically just a bamboo lying horizontally.

Daniel bit on his lower lip and then rolled it back in his mouth, chewing it.

"Hey, have you ever wondered why were we never friends before?" I asked in a hope to ease him a bit. "I mean, you know, we have been studying in the same school for what, like seven years, excluding the time I was at my grandparents', and yet we never really became friends."

Daniel shrugged and came to sit beside me. "I never really had the courage to go talk to you, I guess."

I chuckled, rolling my eyes. "Yeah, right. Daniel Cohen, never had the courage to talk to someone. Biggest lie of the century."

"No seriously, before when you moved away in ninth grade, you were like this person who always sort of lived in your own world and I guess I was the same way."

I didn't even have a clue that he had known about me before. And no, I wasn't the poor shy girl who no one spared a glance. I was more of the person who found comfort in being alone and on some levels, I still was that person. Maybe.

"Yeah, I sort of remember you staying alone all the time. You were that dreamy, mysterious boy for all the girls, you know?"

I bit on my tongue as soon as I realized I had just told him that he was 'dreamy'. Not like he wasn't but still.

"Oh, so you did know about someone?" He chuckled, but didn't comment on my slip of the tongue. "Cause by the looks of it, it was like you belonged to some different dimension where the rest of us didn't even exist."

"Over-exaggeration!" I sang.

"So definitely not," he countered. "And anyway, I don't mean it as a bad thing."

I shot him a side glance, not sure if I should ask what I wanted to.

"What's your story, Dan?" I asked the same question what Mike had asked me during the cabin trip.

"Where do I start this?" he asked in a whisper.

"How about you tell me about your life from the very beginning?" I suggested.

Daniel took a deep breath and started, "Well, I was three when my parents separated and...um...when I was four, my dad, moved here to start his real estate business. Since, he wasn't really stable at first, he couldn't take me with him so I stayed in Alaska with my mom. My dad, he came to visit me sometime but most of the time my mom and he would just get into a fight so his visits started to become less frequent."

He paused for a moment to collect another breath and my mind had used that nick time to come up with possibilities what was he going to say now.

"I was eight, I guess, when my mom started dating this guy, James. He worked at the same hospital where my mom was a nurse and things moved like...uh...really quick with both of them and they got married within two months. At first, James was like...like...a nice guy. He was really kind and friendly with me but then when my mom wasn't there he was really rude and he would sometimes yell at me for no reason at all..."

I wasn't liking the way he was heading cause of all the scenarios that my over speeding mind was producing, none of them were any good.

But this wasn't about me. This wasn't about what I felt. It was about him so I pushed all the thoughts in the back of my mind and just settled on listening to him. 

"You don't need to continue if you don't want too..." I said in a small voice, noticing that he had stopped talking and was looking up at the sky.

His lips quirked up in a small smile. "No, it's not that," he said, looking directly in my eyes and that made the knots in my stomach even tighter.

"I just don't really want you to think badly of me more than you already do," he continued and his nervousness was evident in his voice.

"I'm not here to judge," I answered. "And I won't."

He smiled to himself, looking ahead. 

"Yeah, we'll see that," he muttered. "So anyway, an year later, James lost his job, and all the time he stayed at home. It was getting hard to manage things so my mom took three jobs. She was working all the time, and was hardly ever at home."

Daniel ran his free hand through and tugged at the ends.

"James acted to be a nice husband and step-father in front of my mom but as soon as she left for her night shifts, he would get drunk and become like this t-total different p-person," he stammered a bit. "In the beginning, it started with cursing and a shove here and there. He threatened that if I said anything to my mom, he would hurt her too. And I was already missing my dad, and my mother was all I had so I kept quiet. Never said a word."

My spine was stiffening with every moment as I listened to every word carefully, knowing that it was hard for him to say them.

"And I think my silence encouraged him. His torture started to become more often, he would beat me up, blaming me and my mom for the failure he was. Three times I got my bones broken by him and every time I had to come up with some new story how it happened." A sudden anger had claimed his voice now. His teeth were gritted and jaw tensed. 

I found my own anger level rising in my veins but I didn't say anything.

"It was a December night when my mom left for work as usual and I don't know...I...I just couldn't take it anymore and when I know heard him approaching me, I tried to run away. He...he tried to catch me and for the first time I fought him. It was weird feeling but it was better than feeling weak all the time, so I put all my energy in it and then I don't know how it happened but I pushed him away..." He paused and tugged at the end of his hair. "I was there and I saw him as he fell off the stairs, hit his head on the banister, hard, and then bled out in front of my eyes."

Oh god...

"Did he..." I couldn't finish my question.

"Yeah, he died. I killed him," he said in a finalizing tone that was lacking any kind of emotion.

"You didn't kill him, it was an accident," I pressed, my nails digging into my palm.

"Yeah, that's what my dad keeps telling me but still, it was a life that I took," he whispered, exhaling and closing his eyes.

"And it was a life that he was destroying," I reasoned with him in a slightly higher tone than required. "Alright maybe I'm not the person who believes that there is goodness in everyone because I don't think he was the kind of person you should feel guilty about. Your dad is right, it was just an accident."

He kept a straight face for few seconds and then chuckled. I looked at him in disbelief.

What the hell?

"What's so funny?" I asked, confused by his reaction.

"Nothing. It's just that you look like a little kitten when you are furious," he said, snickering.

"Oh please, I'm hella scary when I'm mad," I scoffed.

"Right." He rolled his eyes. "Your highest level of being scary is same as of a Hello Kitty doll."

I nudged him in the ribs with my elbow and it took him a while to speak again.

"And you know what I've been trying to figure out since then," he said, "that how could my mother not notice it? I mean she had to know, right? She's my mother. She had to know. And the only answer I could come up was that she did in fact have an idea that something was obviously wrong but never said anything cause she was scared... She was scared to find out and... then scared that she would be left alone again. B-but only if she would have done something- just something- I wouldn't have to wake up everyday with the burden of having killing someone."  

His voice was now almost quivering now and it was so heart-breaking to see him like this. He didn't deserve to live like this. He deserved to have a happy life, one where he didn't have to question if he deserved to live another day. This wasn't supposed to be his life...

"You know you have to find a way to forgive yourself for something that wasn't your even fault, Daniel. And I really think that you can. You're a strong person; stronger than you realize," I said but I wasn't sure if it would even effect him. I mean he must have heard those things a million times already. How could my words help him any better.

"I don't know..." 

"Did you ever talk to her after that? After the accident?" I asked, moving closer to him.

"No," he simply answered. "She came here a few years back, saying that she needed another chance but I just can't do it. I can see that my constant rejection is effecting her badly but there is nothing I can do. Remember when you said how I can lie about her death so easily?" I felt strange remembering that fight. It felt like that happened ages ago. 

"Yeah, well I mean I did feel bad for lying to you but I didn't really feel bad about lying 'about' her. And I know it makes me sound like a horrible son, doesn't it?"

"No," I told him in a low voice.

Who was I to judge?

"Nah, it kind of does and even though I shouldn't have lied about her to you but I knew I had to give you a reason for the bridge someday and that's the first lie that came to my mind. However it wasn't very nicely planned, was it?" he asked, sheepishly.

"No, it wasn't." I couldn't help but chuckle at his expression and he chuckled with me.

And the silence replaced our voices again but it felt good because it gave both of us some time to collect our thoughts that were obviously going haphazard.

Why did he have to go through all of that? Life is so not fair...

And what was more scarier than anything was that who went through all of this was just a nine year old kid.

I remember when I was nine, playing hide and seek with my friends and my sister, without a care that there was some kind of evil out there, that some kids, kids that were our age were suffering everyday.

What he must have felt every night when his mother wasn't at home and he had to live in the fear of another round of torture and after all that he was required to stay quiet and suffer in silence.

Growing up, my home felt like the safest place. I knew that if anything happened, my mom and dad, would be there to protect me but he didn't have that childhood. Daniel never experienced what is it like to grow in a home, with a sense of complete security and that had left its effect on him. There was a reason that Daniel didn't trust anyone to even call them a friend, and there was a reason he preferred to hate before he could be hated. And none of us tried to find it out. 

I couldn't have done anything about while he had to go through it all but I wished I would have tried to be his friend before and not just after seeing him at the bridge. And the shame that settled in me was intense but right now I had to say something. Anything that might help.

"I really hope you find your reason..." I said, replaying what Mike had told me once.

Who knew Mike would be the one whose advice I would be forwarding to Daniel one day. 

Life is strange...

"What..." He looked perplexed at my half-structured sentence.

"Someone once told me that even though bad things happen to us, but ultimately we do find a reason one day. Reason to keep living our life, to believe that we will be happy one day. And all of us do find it someday. We just need to hold on till then." I tried to use Mike's exact word but couldn't.

But it's the meaning that counts...right?

And that happened again. The moment where he looked straight in my eyes, like a meaning lied in it, like he had something to say...

But then he broke the eye contact with a dim smile but it was enough to provide a light twinkle to his blue eyes and all wanted was to hug him tight.

"Yeah, I hope so too," he crooned, exhaled, and stood up. "So ready to go home?"

"Yeah," I breathed out, standing up on my feet.

The neighborhood had gone much silent than when we had arrived and it felt nice, and a little surreal walking with him, like it was someone else's memory.

We were walking towards my house in silence when he spoke, "Do you love him?"

I am pretty sure I missed a beat of my heart at his sudden question. "Who?"

Of course I knew who he was referring to but I was in no hurry to have that talk so I tried to stroll.

"Your Tamagotchi," he answered, sarcastically and if I wasn't so nervous, I would have smiled or something. "Sebastian, of course."

Okay, what do I say?! What do I say?!

"It's complicated," I settled on the pathetic age old answer.

We were almost near the gate of my house when he stopped walking abruptly. "What is? I saw you yesterday, and I knew you were not at all fine, and he should have been there with you but he wasn't. So what's so complicated? I think when you give someone a special place in your life as you have given him, then they should be there for you, no matter what and there is no complication in it. It's that simple."

I stood there silent. What was I supposed to say anyway? I couldn't tell him the truth about Seb because it wasn't my thing to tell but I also couldn't say that I loved Seb, because it would have been so wrong to lie after Daniel had just told me everything about his life.

Urghh!

I never thought that this fake-dating deal would become such a pain one day.

"I don't have any answer for that..." I admitted in an almost inaudible voice, my eyes fixed on the street.

Please don't hate me. Please don't hate me.

Gathering a little bit of courage,  I looked up again. He wasn't mad but of course he wasn't happy either. It was just nothing.

"It's okay. I shouldn't have asked that anyway," he said, sighing. "Now, go back and sleep, 'kay?"

How had the topic turned from about him to me was confusing. I should have been the one to tell him to take care, not the other way around but I still nodded.

Without turning around, he took two steps away from me but there was still something I needed to ask. "Hey, do you think you're alright? As of now?"

He nodded, and I don't know how I could tell but there was honesty in his eyes.

"Yeah, I am," he replied before turning around and walking away.

With an unfamiliar feeling I entered my house. Dad was still reading his book when I went to tell him that I was home and then I went to my bed but I couldn't sleep.

Like the previous days, it wasn't because of the nightmares. No, tonight my mind was too preoccupied to think about them.

All night long, I kept thinking what he had told me and that didn't let me sleep, not even for a minute.

For an odd reason, I was feeling calm because in my mind I had an idea that he would be eventually completely fine and guilt free. Maybe not now, but someday. I knew it.

The next morning, I was in a hurry to get to school. Not for a single second was I feeling tired. I just had to see him, to assure my mind that last night did actually happen, and wasn't just something that my brain had made up.

For the first two classes, I was practically squirming in my seat as if that would somehow fasten the time but when it was actually time for my Calculus class, I started to feel anxious.

As soon as I set my foot in the threshold of the classroom, I immediately spotted Daniel sitting on a seat at the corner talking with Mike. And for the first time since we had become friends, there was a look of relief on it.

Relief of finally having a burden lifted from the shoulder, maybe?

And then I became sure that, yes, he would be fine.

"Hey, Norah, come here!" Mike beckoned me, shouting over the sound of people chattering. "I need to ask you something."

Daniel looked up towards me and his smile with the glint in his eyes returned.

"If Dan and I, were male gigolos and you had to choose one, who would it be?" Mike asked, loud enough for the whole class to hear but he didn't care, and Daniel just shook his head at him, discouraged.

I settled my books on the desk behind them and answered, "Neither. I would become your pimp and put you both up for business."

"Yeah, that's what I thought too," Mike mumbled to himself and then walked over to his seat as the teacher entered the room.

I opened my book and was about to take out a pencil when Daniel turned around.

"No, but seriously, you would choose me, right?" He asked with so much desperation that I had to chuckle at that.

"Totally."

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Please please please comment. =)

I knew it would be sad but I didn't want to end it on a depressing note so I added the last part. Cause you know hope is all we have got. =)

Vote, comment, share ♥

Also I've posted a new story 'The wifi stealer'. It's just a single chapter and I am not sure if I'll be continuing it so I want your opinion about it. Thanks.

And a very happy 4th of July in advance for all the American readers! Be proud of your nation! =)

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