Dedicated to akashakhanxox =)

You're a lovely person and this is my way of thanking you for your just as lovely comments on the story. :)

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Guilt:  n. [gilt] 1. The fact of having committed an offence.

                         2. A feeling of having done something wrong.

I closed my phone dictionary. Yeah, no, that word didn't explain the intensity of the feeling that had been washing me all over for the last two days. Guilt was what I felt when I realized after the accident that I should've told Daniel's parents about what happened at the bridge. Guilt was what I felt about telling Daniel at the party that I didn't care about him. Those were the times I felt guilt. But what I felt right now was way more than that.

I was directly responsible of putting someone's life in jeopardy. However, this wasn't the first time that I had done that. The only difference was that Daniel was still alive and my sister wasn't.

Why was life doing this to me?

I laid my hands on the kitchen counter and rested my head on it.

"What's wrong princess? You seem awfully quiet today," my dad asked while sautéing the contents of the pan over the stove.

He had arrived early in the morning from his office trip in New York. He had been away from home for more than 2 weeks.

"Nah, it's nothing," I replied and then snickered at the ridiculous looking apron, with floral prints, that dad was wearing.

"You sure? You know you can tell me everything, Norah." Dad gave me a look coated with concern. I was familiar with that look. Very familiar.

I sighed. "Everything is fine. Believe me."

"Have you umm...have you," he searched for proper words that would soften the effect of what he wanted to say.

"Have I been popping prescription pills again?" I offered him some help bluntly. "Relax, I haven't been doing that. I'm past that thing now. So you can stop thinking of sending me back to the shrink, 'cause I know that's exactly what you're doing."

I hung my head low, studying intently the floor tiles as if they had suddenly turned into a Pablo Picasso painting. I tried to stop myself to feel anything.

 I heard my dad take a deep breath, probably out of relief.

"So how is everything going? How is Sebastian?" Dad asked looking out of the kitchen door, ignoring our earlier discussion.

I was still mad at Sebastian for his joke about Daniel and hadn't talked to him since. He had tried coming up to me a few times to apologize but I didn't to listen to him. Also Liam refused to meet me in the eye whenever I tried talking to him. So for the past two days I had spent all my time in school alone and away from everyone else.

"Sebastian and I are in sort of a fight," I replied with a bored expression.

"In that case, you better prepare yourself for a confrontation cause he's standing outside, talking to himself." Dad informed me still looking out.

"Great," I mumbled to myself and then got down from the bar stool.

I opened the main door and walked down my porch to find Sebastian pacing in my driveway and talking to himself as if practising what he wanted to say.

"I don't talk to you for 2 days and you go complete cray-cray?" I asked jokingly, walking towards him.

"Well I am bound to. You know I can't function without my best friend," he said with pleading eyes. "I am really sorry, Noh. I acted like an ass. Please forgive me."

"You should be. But I forgive you," I said smiling. "You're way too cute to be mad at."

"I knew my girlish looks would be of some use one day," he joked and then hugged me tight. I chuckled.

"Just so you know, I am standing right here so hands off my daughter!" Dad yelled from the kitchen window, waving his wooden ladle and grinning at us.

"I didn't know your father was back," he said, genuinely nervous as if was really dating me.

"Yeah, he got back today." I got out from his hold.

"Okay, so anyway you're really forgiving me, right?" Sebastian asked to confirm.

"Yup, but you pull that kind of prank again and I'll never ever talk to you." I used that threat a lot.

"I promise, I won't," he said honestly and after thinking about something for a few seconds, he added, "You know I went to see him again today."

"You did? How's he now?" I asked with nervousness,

"He's doing alright. But you know he was asking about you," Sebastian informed me, carefully examining my reaction.

"Oh" was all I managed to speak out but countless questions swam inside my brain.

What did Daniel say? Does he hate me now? Does he never want to even look at me now?

"Are you sure you both have nothing going on?" Sebastian asked, tilting his head to the side.

That annoyed me. "Are you sure you want to ask that? I forgave you like literally a moment ago."

"Alright, I'm sorry. Just forget about that," he spoke hurriedly and shook his head. "So I'll see you tomorrow then?"

"Yeah, alright."

After exchanging good-byes, Sebastian left in his Wrangler and I went back inside. Dad and I had dinner which he had prepared while listening to the stories he had about New York, both of us ignoring the emptiness that roamed in the house.

We were becoming expert in doing that.

Around midnight, I was lying on my bed with the phone in my hands. I wanted to call Daniel but it was very late and the last time I called him this late, he ended up being in the state that he currently was.

Even if I call him, will he answer? I questioned in my mind.

Normal people generally sleep during the night time, you know?

But that was it!

"I will just leave him a missed call and when he sees it in the morning, he can decide for himself if he wants to talk to me or not," I mumbled to myself, smiling at my genius plan.

Okay, maybe it wasn't a very bright idea but it seemed like one in my head and I decided to act on it before the logical part of my brain could stop me.

Holding my breath, I clicked on his name from the contact list.

One round of ringing went on and just as I was about to press the 'end call' option, someone picked up the phone.

Oh my god.

"Hello" Daniel's voice came as a whisper.

"Hey, I-, uh umm" I spoke gibberish, not prepared to have a talk with him.

"Huh? What's wro-" he stopped and I could hear some voices in the background but they seemed distant.

"Hello? Daniel where are you?" I asked, my eyebrows furrowed together in confusion.

"In the morgue. Feasting on the intestines of the dead. Where do you think? I'm at the hospital," he replied in an amused tone. "But I'm sneaking out of it so maybe your question wasn't that stupid."

I nodded my head but then realized that he had just said. "Sneaking out? Where? I mean why?"

"To get a double-ham burger," Daniel replied as if it was such an obvious answer.

"A burger? You're lying, right?" I asked not at all convinced.

"Why would I lie? I'm already past the first security post of the floor."

Now, I was starting to believe that he wasn't lying and was actually sneaking out of the hospital. And for what? A burger. A freaking burger!

"You idiot! Why are you doing it?" I asked, my voice getting pitchy.

"Because the hospital food is awful!" Daniel grumbled and then I could hear some more sounds in his background but soon they died down.

"Don't whine, Daniel. Do you even understand what you're doing?" I yelled into the phone but then lowered the volume realizing that dad could hear me from his room.

"You don't believe me? Fine, think of a rotten egg that has been left in a room with no ventilation for three weeks. Now think of something worse. That's how bad it tastes!" he whined while whisper shouting.

"Oh come on! It can't be that bad," I scoffed trying to put some sense in the stupid boy sneaking out with a body covered in bandages and cast.

"Ya, well that's what I thought until the mouldy bread in my breakfast started moving. And not in a good way," he said faking a shudder.

What was happening? I was supposed to apologize to him, not trying to convince him to stop being a child complaining about his food. I rubbed my hand on my forehead.

 "But your stitches are still raw. You might make them even worse!" I reasoned with Daniel over the phone.

"Hmm...maybe." And then he paused, making me think that I might have succeded in my attempt in convincing him but then he spoke, "I might bleed out in the middle of the store. That would be cool, huh? Everyone would be so freaked out." He chuckled at his own joke.

I cringed, actually imagining the scenarios that he put in my brain.

"You're picturing it, aren't you? Me bleeding out?" Daniel asked in an entertained voice.

"No and it wouldn't be cool! It would be scary and bloody painful for you!" I reprimanded him but was actually snickering inside.

"Aww, you care about me." Daniel was finding all of this really funny.

"How many pain killer meds did they put you on?" He must've been under the effect of the pain killers that was causing the surprising change in his behavior.

"Well, there was a yellow one, a red one, and a white one. Also, there was this colourful one that they-"

"Okay, I got it. You're on a lot of them and they're obviously causing you to act strange so please just go back to your room and sleep."

"But I want a burger!" Daniel demanded like a 5 year old again.

"I'll bring you one tomorrow. I promise."

"That's a good idea!" he rejoiced, making me relax but I guess I celebrated way too early. "Bring me a burger right now!"

"What? No! It's like midnight! I'm not getting you a burger now!" I shrieked while he laughed.

"Bring me a burger Noh," Daniel sang in his deep voice.

I was partly fuming at his ridiculous demand and partly laughing inside at his stupid antics.

"Daniel, go to sleep. I promise I'll bring it tomorrow morning," I said keeping my voice levelled.

"No, I want it now! Or else I'll tell your dad that you like to jump off from cliffs for fun," he threatened me in a devilish voice.

What?

"You're bluffing."

"Wanna try?"

"You blackmailing bitch!" I spat out angrily.

"Did you just call me a bitch?" And then he went into a fit of laughter for a good half minute.

"I'm glad one of us is amused," I said sardonically.

"Oh, I am. You just made my day or night, whichever," he said in between laughs. "Now get me a burger."

"Whatever."

"Oh and Norah?" he said in a serious voice.

I actually paused breathing, thinking that he was going to say something important.

"Yeah?"

"Make sure they don't put ketchup. I don't like ketchup."

"Thanks for telling," I said sarcastically.

"You're welcome. Be quick. I'll be waiting."

And then he ended the call while I stared at the phone, dumb-founded.

What had I gotten myself into?

This is stupid, I thought to myself as I walked up the stairs of the medical centre.

The security personnel of the hospital inquired me for the reason I was there. Faking a fever, I got inside easily but the main challenge was to get to Daniel's room which unfortunately was extremely close to the nurse station.

Instead of taking the elevator, I took the stairs as it seemed like a much safer option. Reaching the third floor, I peeked from behind the wall and found the way to be clear.

Never in a million years, I would've thought that I would be sneaking inside a hospital at such an absurd time, carrying a brown bag in my hand and conviniently looking like a drug-dealer.

Rounding a corner, I warily walked down the hallway to Daniel's room, careful not to make any sound. There was no nurse in my sight so I quickened my pace.

The line tiny lights on the ceiling were giving the deserted hallway an eerie feeling. I kept walking, ignoring the disinfectant like smell lingering in the air.

Knocking on the white door, I said in a low volume, "Psst, Daniel!"

I heard footstep approaching the door from inside and then they stopped.

"Daniel!" I whisper shouted, frantically looking in every direction to see if anyone was coming.

The blinds on the door openes slightly and I could see Daniel's eyes peeking through it.

"What's the magic password?" Daniel's voice came as a whisper as well.

Say what?

"Password? Just open the damn door, you dummy!" I said in disbelief, still maintaining complete vigilance 

He chuckled. "What's the magic password?"

"Please just open the door. I don't wanna get caught!" I said looking at the glass door infront of me.

"Have you forgotten the password? I can remind you, if you want."

He was enjoying my misery way too much.

"Fine! What's the stupid password?" I asked.

"It's 'I'm not mad at Daniel anymore'. Say it," he told me happily.

"I'm not mad at Daniel anymore. Now open the door!"

"Wait! It has another part. Say 'I am not mad at Daniel anymore cause he's really really awesome and I love him.'"

"I'm not saying that," I said with a dead pan voice.

"Fine, then good luck explaining what you were doing near a guy's room when someone catches you." I heard him walking away and the blinds closing again.

"No no no! Okay I'll say it!" I said hastily.

"Alright, go on. I'm all ears for you, butterfly."

Butterfly?

"Uggh! I'm not mad at Daniel cause he's really awesome and I love him." I said, finally giving in. There was much point in fighting this anyway.

"Really? You love me? Gosh! I'm so flattered. This is the best day of my life," he gushed in a high pitched voice.

"Oh just open the door already or else I'm going, taking this burger along with me."

Not even a second passed and the door swung open, revealing a tired looking who took the now greasy looking bag from my hands.

"Welcome to my humble abode," he said gesturing me to come inside of the semi-dark room. A lamp beside the metal bed managed to lit the room, dimly.

He was carrying along with him the metal rod from which a saline drip bottle hung. Since he wasn't wearing any shirt again, my eyes went immediately to his chest and his tattoo. It looked much more impressive from up close. I could read what was written in the middle.

Trust

Family

Love

Pain

Fear

The words written in black ink looked to be incised into the skin. I had to stop myself from touching it thinking that it would be way too inappropriate of me to do so. Right?

"If you're done staring at me, can I go and sit? It kinda hurts to stand for this long." He complained but I could see the tiny smirk playing on his lips.

"You can't manage to stand for a few minutes and were planning to make a trip to the burger store? Funny," I snorted, taunting him and then pointed to the saline bottle. "And don't tell me you were gonna take the IV with you."

He repiled lazily, "I was. It was going to accentuate my whole "bleeding-in-the-middle-of-the-store" act." And then walked over to his bed to sit.

I saw his eyes cringe a little and his face tighten as his lower part of the body settled on the white sheets. I cringed along with him. He was obviously in a lot of pain.

"So since I've done my delivery services, I think I should go now," I said, standing awkwardly in the middle of the room and shifting all my weight on my left foot.

Daniel looked up to the clock on the opposite wall, squinting his eyes to see better in the dark and shaking his head then said casually, "Yeah, no, you can't."

"Why not?" I asked and looked at the clock. It was 12:30 am.

"Cause now the nurse station actually has nurses," he replied opening the brown bag. The greasy smell wafted through the room and Daniel breathed it in as if it was the most heavenly smell in the world.

"No there weren't any nurses. I checked." I walked over to the door, opening it slightly. I peered through the gap and indeed there were two nurses arranging some clip boards and random papers at the station.

Where did they come from?

"That's why I told you to hurry up," he said taking a big bite of the burger and grinning at the taste. "The shift changes at 12:30. They're going to be here till 6:00."

Till 6:00?

"So what I'm like stuck here till then?" I asked horrified and asking myself again that had I gotten myself into.

"Pretty much."

Daniel's grin got wider.

This was going to be a long night.

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