t w e n t y n i n e

She had gotten Yixing's text message in the afternoon, several hours before their usual meeting time by the river. Sun then spent the next eight hours on edge, wondering what he would say to her, her mind racing with negative thoughts. Part of her already suspected what he wanted to talk to her about, but another smaller part of her mind hoped that what she feared would not happen. Sarang provided her with comfort and support, telling her that maybe he was going to forgive her and give her another chance. Perhaps they could start over and tell everyone that they were in love.

Sun certainly still loved him, and she thought that if he loved her too, there was still something to fight for. They were still in time to save their relationship as long as they still wanted it. Like Junmyeon and Sarang were doing--as long as they were both sure.

As though suspecting that both groups were closer to a peace agreement than ever before, Pledis hired more security to prevent outsiders from entering the building since they were suspecting that there was communication between the idols of both agencies. This came as a problem for Sun because she wanted to exit the building without being caught. 

To her surprise, Aron was the one who helped her get out of there without appearing suspicious. Both of them dressed up in dressy yet casual clothes and left the building hand in hand before midnight, pretending that they would be going out on a date together. They had dinner together, another fake date for the press, then she dropped him off at her parents house. He was going to be discussing with her father about the investigation on the whereabouts of Allisson Lugo.

Sun arrived at the Han River around two in the morning. Yixing was already there waiting for her. Only when he turned to face her after hearing her approaching footsteps, there was no longer that loving smile he always had for her. Sun noticed the way his lips were down turned and his eyes had dark circles underneath them. His disheveled hair was hidden beneath the hood of his sweater. He looked more than just physically tired to her. He appeared emotionally drained. As she got even closer she continued taking him in, and she noticed a rolled up gossip magazine in his hand. It was the latest issue with Sun and Aron on the cover, making out at a night club while she was drunk out of her own consciousness. 

She had decided to stop with the fake dates, but resumed when she saw the pictures of Yixing and Tiffany together. Her heart had been broken and she needed a distraction. It wasn't so great now that it was happening to her. In that instant, a Spanish saying flashed in her mind. El que a hierro mata, a hierro muere. Minnie had been adamant about teaching them colloquial sayings from her native country when attempting to teach her group members Spanish.

That saying translated to if you killed with a gun, you'll be killed by a gun. But it most accurately meant that If one played with fire, they were likely to get burnt. 

Sun was just now beginning to feel the burning consequences of her actions, of letting Pledis tell her what she needed to do with her love life, when she could have said no. It was easier said than done, but possible nonetheless. 

"Hello Mae." Yixing greeted her without any emotion evident on his face.

"Yixing." She replied, her voice barely above a whisper.

When she was close enough to him, she tried to lean in to kiss him, but he moved his head away, turning away coldly. Her lips dropped into a frown. "What's wrong, Yixing?" She asked out of instinct, but she already knew what was wrong. She knew why they were both there.

Without a word, he brought his hand up to show her something. It was the one holding the magazine. He didn't even have to unroll it because the way he held it showed the picture on the cover. Still, he unraveled it and held it in front of her with both hands, the creases glinted as the glow of the street lamps bounced off the glossy paper it was printed on. He pointed to the picture and sucked in a deep breath before beginning to speak in order to keep his voice steady. But the words were about to pour out of him like a river. All the things he didn't say, which bothered him about the way she was dating Aron in front of everyone while he had to remain cooped up in the shadows. Her own little secret for her entertainment. 

"Why do you do these things to me, Mae? You knew how much I loved you." From the start, she caught the fact that he hadn't called her jagiya, or even Sun, her nickname. The name Mae fell from his lips in a cold manner, reproaching. He paused for a moment when his voice cracked and he brought a hand up to his eyes, wiping away any trace of tears that were starting to fall. When he continued, he had managed to steady his voice and his breathing once more. "I was completely devoted to this relationship, devoted to you. Meanwhile you got to have your fun, playing with everyone. You didn't treat me right." He accused her. "You know, I could have endured any kind of pain and suffering...as long as it was with you. I was ready to accept anything that came at us."

Sun stood there, waiting for him to finish. Her lips began to quiver and her eyes stung with tears. But what could she say to him? 

When she finally managed to gather a response, she began, "Yixing, I told you I just didn't want anyone to find out about us because of the negative consequences it could being you-"

He stopped her by raising a hand and giving a shake of his head. "Don't give me that shit, Mae." Yixing--the purest person--the most forgiving person she knew had now accumulated bitterness and resentment in his heart. She had never heard him say a curse word before. He had even at times scolded her for using them. Now the word made its way into the atmosphere so naturally. Sun didn't like what he became--what she made him. "I could have dealt with the dates, and the dumb little instagram posts Pledis forced you to post. But only for a little while, not months. And making out with him at night clubs? That's fucking unnecessary!" Another curse word slipped from his lips. 

His words stung, but Sun felt like she deserved them.

She could feel the tears welling up in her dark eyes as she told him, "Please, Yixing. Forgive me. I tried to tell everyone the truth at Weekly Idol. You saw me."

"It was too late for that." He shook his head. He had seen it, he was there when it happened. But he felt like she had decided all too late. He had waited for her as long as he could before his patients thinned and then disappeared completely. "You already lost me."

"No." She shook her head in denial.

"Mae," He sighed, now avoiding her eyes. His tone had softened considerably. He had arrived there and accused her of being a bad girlfriend to him, and now he was trying to tell her that their break up was for the better. He couldn't keep that angered facade up too long. He was more disappointed than angry now that he had gotten everything out in the open. 

It pained him to see her cry because he still cared about her. But he thought it pointless to continue that way when the two of them had already caused each other a lot of harm. She had done it by refusing to get their relationship out of the shadows and then dating Aron. He had done it when he lied about the rumors of their relationship to the press and then claimed he was dating Tiffany. He continued as he heard her quiet sobs. "Please don't make this more difficult than it has to be."

"Yixing," She begged. "Please don't. I love you."

"Ah, jag-" He stopped himself before he could call her the nickname he was used to giving her. "This is the best decision for the two of us." He said.

She shook her head. 

"Its not the best decision for me." She argued. He finally looked up to meet her tear soaked eyes as she continued. This time she had a question for him. "Tell me the truth, Yixing. Are you leaving me because you're in love with her now? I don't resent you for that if you love her now."

He replied with a shake of his head, followed by a response that was accompanied by a scoff. "I decided to break up because I felt like our relationship wasn't going anywhere."

"You said you would wait for me." She reminded him.

"Yes." He nodded in agreement. "But that didn't mean I was okay with being your eternal secret love."

"Then why'd you say you were dating her?" She questioned.

"Same reason you said you were dating Aron." He said. Shortly after SM found out that he and Tiffany were friends, they used that to start a rumor of their own which would steer the media away from the Sun and Yixing dating rumors. Yixing hadn't been completely on board with doing that, but once he saw that Sun didn't seem to want to reveal the truth any time soon, he would get back at her so that she could understand the kind of pain she was putting him through. "Tiffany and I are just good friends, but if we wanted to date, I'm sure we could do it without all of this drama."

His words cut through her heart like a sharp blade. 

Sun countered, "That's not the same Yixing. You and her would have everyone's approval. We never did."

"I'm sorry, Mae." He finally finished with his break up speech. "I hope later on we can be friends. But right now I just need some space."

Yixing turned and stated walking away. 

He had done so just in time since the tears began to spill down his cheeks like a waterfall. He had been able to contain his tears just long enough to tell her that their relationship was over.

Sun stood frozen in the very same spot she had been in since she arrived at their meeting place. 

"Yixing, wait!" She cried after him, but he never turned back.

He continued until he was a mere speck in her vision and then disappeared from sight. That was when her legs gave out beneath her and she fell into a heap on the ground, defeated. She cried into her hands for what she had lost because she knew she was the cause of her own misfortunes.

El que a hierro mata, a hierro muere.

The phrase was once again present in her mind.

-

this chapter is about 350 words shorter than what i normally write, and i wanted to include other scenes. but i thought the break up scene deserved a chapter on its own. so i left it as is without including other scenes that will happen in other chapters. 

i hope you all didn't cry so much. lol

thank you for reading!

-clary xx