It was the early morning rays that woke me. The curtain was wide open and little prisms of light danced through the crack in Amber's window. She'd left, but I couldn't help but feel something I hadn't in the longest time: hopeful.

Flicking the duvet off, I sat up and sunk my feet into Amber's shag rug. My stomach flipped at the realisation of how she would've earned it.

Don't dwell. Just be happy that things are going to get better.

I fished my shoes from under her bed and got ready for the day. Before leaving the cosy room I made a mental not to thank My fellow wife for her hospitality. She could get in a lot of trouble for doing what she did.

As I opened up the door, I rested my shoulders back and walked slowly. Can't have Negan's people sniffing out my happiness. But as soon as the thought entered my head, I saw two large figures in my peripherals.

Cool it, Rackel! You're just being paranoid.

I slowed my gait. There's slowed with it.

Fuck.

Had they found out?

Am I dead?

Is he—

My throat constricted, but I kept pace. Thought it was probably best to go to the source with a smile on my face. I mean, what idiot would walk head first into the lion's den?

The Harem was uncharacteristically quite, which didn't bode well. "Good morning, everyone," I chirped, swinging the double doors open. Everyone looked at me, including a blotchy Amber, eyes bloodshot and nose runny.

He knows.

We're dead. He knows.

Negan came in with his usual flourish, but instead of Lucille, he had Carl.

"Sweetie!" I ran to my little man and gave him a bear hug, putting me between him and Negan. You are not taking him too. "What the hell are you doing here?"

"A bit young for you, ain't he?" Negan tugged at my shoulder. If looks could kill.

I retreated into myself, standing beside Carl but avoiding all contact.

Negan's eyes released me, turning his gaze over to Sherry. "Can I talk to you, dear wife?" He sauntered over to the liquor cabinet, easing a brow at me over his shoulder before smiling at his new prisoner. "Make yourself comfortable, kid. I'm sure you're familiar with my new woman."

Carl shook his head at him. But as he looked me up and down, his eyes widened. "What the fuck?"

It was easy enough to forget that I was dressed like a dominatrix when I was surrounded by strangers. But that look in his eyes made me feel like a loose-change hooker.

I wasn't much better, to be honest.

"What are you doing here?" I whispered, looking away from him.

"I, uh—" He was trying to get me to look, but continued. "Snuck into one of their trucks, tried to kill him." He tilted his head toward Negan.

"Are you crazy?" I yelped, looking down at the now tall boy. "Your Dad would be having a heart attack right now if he knew."

Carl's eyes went cold, tilting his chin. "The day's still young."

My finger jabbed into his chest. "Don't you fucking dare, Carl Grimes. I swear to God, I will not watch you waste your life!"

"I won't watch you waste yours either." Carl's brow furrowed. "We're on our way."

"What?" He can't mean it. Alexandria hasn't got the man power to take on this operation. "Enough now."

His voice lowered, leaning in. "I said, we're on our way."

Negan's head locked into us as Carl leaned in. Surely he's not jealous of the boy I'd known forever.

When Carl stepped away, Negan's focus switched to Amber, in the middle of his nest. He sauntered over to his wife, sitting opposite her on the coffee table.

"Amber, baby." He placed his hand on hers. "You know I don't want anyone here that doesn't want to be here, right?"

"Mhmm," she whimpered, not once looking up.

"So if you want to leave and go back to Mark and your Mum, you can." He paused. "But what can't you do?"

"Cheat on you?" She looked up, her eyes red.

"That's exactly right," he growled, shoving his face near hers. "You cant cheat on me."

Poor Amber.

She looked tiny in comparison. With her lips quivering she pulled her hand from his and wrapped her arms around herself, which seemed to make the prick happy.

"They're plenty of other gals who would love to take your place, and there's a few job openings I can think of. You want to go back to Mark and your Mum?" He possum need out the window.

I looked over my shoulder and immediately regretted it. The harems windows gave everyone a clear view of the walker fence.

Negan makes sure that Amber follows his hand before saying, "Hell, I'll put you all on the same job."

"No, I'll stay! I'm sorry." Her tears flowed again, her head burrowed.

He grabs her chin and lifts her. "You know what that means, right?" He didn't let go until she answered, until she knew.

I wish I never had to know.

"Yes," she whispered. "I love you, Negan."

Negan taps her on the nose. "Of course you do, darlin'." He wipes a tear away then has the audacity to chuckle. "I don't know why you're crying. It's gonna work out all aces for you."

————

Negan looked over at Carl, raised his eyebrows, then looked at me before directing his gaze back at Amber, placing the most insincere kiss on her forehead. He got up and continued with Sherry.
"Can you get Dr. Carson for me?"
"Yeah" Sherry sighed
"Did you see that? I wasn't hard on her, even though I am, VERY hard in general." He thrusted into the air for emphasis
Sherry rolled her eyes at him "You're an asshole"
You could tell from his body language that he was still enjoying the conversation
"I know, but the messed up thing is you like me anyway." He tilted his head and smiled
"You know the truth, just like me" He looked at me, a glint there that I couldn't put my finger on passing through his eyes as he kissed her. The whole interaction confusing until I saw Dwight come into the room with Daryl, tossing him around by his back whilst he held onto a ridiculously extravagant deli platter. Negan was throwing Sherry in Dwight's face, pissing on his territory.

As Daryl and my eyes met, relief hit me, knowing we both survived another day. Daryl looked over to Carl then back to me and I shrugged, having no idea why Negan had brought him here. Negan broke the kiss and started playing coy with Dwight as he grabbed a toothpick and claimed an olive off the platter.

"Carl, will you grab this tray for me?" Daryl passed it over to him and stared Negan down.
"Why'd you have him here?" He accused
"Whoa" Negan getting in Daryl's face, noses nearly touching.
"What we talk about when you're not here is none of your business." Negan leant back, letting that sink in.
"Do not make me put this toothpick through the only eye he has" Daryl backed down at the threat, Negan smirked at yet another victory
"You go with Dwight. He'll get you a mop" he flicked the toothpick into his mouth and directed his attention to Dwight.
"Dwighty boy, fire up that furnace" at the time I had no idea what he meant, and still wish I could've stayed ignorant.

He announced to Dwight "I'll be down in a few. Time for a little déjà vu" he flicked his hand at Carl
"Come on kid" he lead Carl away and I gave him a weary look, warning him.  Dwight pulled Daryl out of the room; as soon as they were out of sight I looked at Sherry, a tear fell down her face. I knew exactly how she felt, being torn away from the man she loved. I tried to hug her as a means of comfort, but she pushed me away.
"Go comfort Amber Rackel! I'll be fine" she rubbed harshly at her tears and took a swig of whiskey.

I walked up to Amber and the wives cleared a path for me. I sat next to her and rubbed her back.
"I'm so sorry this happened to you. I don't know what to say"
She pulled away from my touch
"Watch yourself Rackel!" She spat out, she screwed her face up turning her usual beautiful visage into the stuff of nightmares.
"I told Negan where you went last night! If Mark's not getting out of this, I'll make sure Daryl doesn't either!"
I backed away from her, like she'd slapped me in the face. I felt utterly betrayed and idiotic for ever trusting her.