After my moment of weakness, Negan had me escorted to my new living quarters.

"Not that you'll be needing it very often darlin'!" I recalled his final words to me before leaving, the sinking feeling settled in once again.

I sat on the single bed with the Motel-Six bedspread. The fabric was similar to a scrubbing sponge: uncomfortable and abrasive. The walls were painted a dark grey, with basic furniture. I looked at the window and wished it wasn't frosted. It would've lifted my spirits to see the outside world.

Im sure that's by design. He wouldn't want me hiding out here!

Sitting on the scratchy blanket for a moment, I stared at the blank window. It wasn't long until I was breaking my nails off, attempting to peel off the laminate. I picked at it until I'd damaged all my fingernails and blood caked under what remained.

Even a domesticated rat had the luxury of being able to see outside of its cage. So I'll be damned if I'm not afforded the same right! It had taken me hours to peel just one square off. But when I stared out into the sunset, I knew it had been worth it.

I grabbed an apple that I'd found in the fridge and took a big bite, enjoying the sweet, crisp taste and the juices dribbling down my chin. It was the first bit of fresh fruit I'd had in months, and I tried to enjoy it, whilst numbing myself to the context that lay thick surrounding the gesture.

Lies. Lying to myself was going to get me through this. I purposely altered my line of view, avoiding the sight of the walker fort. I'm at Alexandria.

After I finished eating and had nothing to do my eyes drooped, fatigue setting in. I stood up, unzipped and shimmied out of my dress in preparation for sleep. After being up for 30 hours straight I immediately fell unconscious the second my head hit the pillow. Miraculously, I remained completely comatose.

My usual nightmares unusually absent.

I woke up about 7:00am, somehow feeling well rested. I stood by my hard-earned view, my fingers entwined in my tight curls.

I wish you were here, my love.

CRACK!

I snapped my head to the door as it swung open, and in trotted Negan. His stance was wide with hands on narrow hips, admiring me from across the room. My hands flew up to my breasts and crotch in a feeble attempt at covering my modesty.

Oh yeah, that made it so much better ...

His mouth formed an O, as a slow whistle filled the room. "Hey hey hey Goldilocks! It's poppa bear!" His unrelenting stare made my arm hairs stand on edge. He closed the gap between us in three long strides, his tall frame towering over me, and I wasn't short by any means! He ran his finger softly across my collar bone, and I gasped at the overfamiliar contact. "And this bowl of porridge was JUST right."

He tucked my hair behind my ear, and his hand rested on my cheek. "So what do you think about my offer? What's your verdict?"

I laughed humorlessly at his illusion of choice.

Well if he wanted to act like I had choices, I'll try my luck and state some provisos.

"I think I'm going to accept." But before he could get too excited, I whipped my index finger up at him. "On one condition."

He grunted, but allowed me to continue.

"I will be your wife as long as you don't lay another finger on Daryl." He rolled his eyes.

I was surprised he wasn't expecting it.

"Let's say that I won't lay a finger on Daryl as long as you don't lay a finger on him either." He moved his hand from my cheek to chin and pulled my face closer to his, waiting for my response.

I nodded, unable to verbalise it.

"Now, how about a kiss for your fiancé?" he grumbled. The devil's sickly-sweet smile returned.

He closed his eyes and leaned in as I did the same, picturing Daryl was there in his stead. I wrapped my arms around his neck and lost myself, running my hands through his hair. I applied longing and desperate caresses on his lips.

Negan responded with a primal growl and nipped at my lower lip, ending the kiss. "Oh baby, I would love to have my dirty way with you now! Unfortunately, I've got somewhere I gotta be!" He ran his thumb over my lower lip. "To be continued."

The beast took in my semi-naked figure one more time before exiting. I felt physically dirty after the interaction.

Should I be fighting him more?

As soon as he left, my hands scoured every part of me he'd touched. Daryl was rotting in some cell, and I'm here playing house with Mr. Psychopath? My throat swelled, thinking about how little control I had over the situation.

How could I possibly think that I could've saved anyone?

I needed to get out of that room! I put the tight leather dress back on, and quickly exited the room. I wondered around, trying to find an open space where I could get some fresh air, hoping that some grand plan would just come to me. I eventually found my way to a courtyard off the main hall.

Everyone stared at me as they passed.

Men unashamedly ogled me, women scoffed at my indecent attire, and all I could do was look straight ahead, trying to act like I was ignorant to it all. I found a bench, sat down and looked up to the sky, trying to zone out the fact that I was the new sideshow. I sighed as the rays warmed my skin, the black leather warming me quickly.

But, even the sun couldn't rid me of the crushing guilt I felt for Daryl.

Must be nice, sitting out here while your boyfriend rots...

"Hi!"

A shrill soprano voice interrupted my self scathing. I looked up to find that it belonged to a teenage girl, the bubbly aura surrounding her was quite perplexing! She was as beautiful as a button with delicate features. She had porcelain skin and jet-black hair, straight and shimmering in the morning sun. But that wasn't her most striking feature. It was her crystal-blue eyes that sparkled at the smallest amount of light.

I smiled at her. "Hi there."

"You're Rackel? Negan's new wife?"

Hot topic right here apparently.

"I guess I am. I'm sure I stick out like a sore thumb in this get up!" I laughed politely.

Her face dropped.

"You don't like it?" Her innocent face screwed up in discomfort, brows knitting together.

I wasn't sure why she looked so upset, but I decided to backtrack anyway. "It's very fashion forward, gorgeous even! It's just not the kind of thing I would usually wear."

She nodded, perking up again. "That's OK! We'll have a chat and find out what you like and I'll see what I can whip up!"

She made this?

"It's very well made, you have a real gift!" I nodded in encouragement. "I'm so sorry, but I didn't catch your name."

The bubbly girl flipped her hair playfully and giggled. "How forgetful of me. My name's Skye and I'm the resident stylist and seamstress! I was sent to find you and get you prettied up for tonight!"

I should've been worried, but there was something about this girl. She made me feel like things were going to be alright.

There was something about her smile too! It was the kind of smile that you don't see much this side of the apocalypse. She felt so untouched by it all, like she'd had no idea what was going on outside! Or in it, for that matter.

She tugged at my arm as we jogged through the courtyard, all the way to her room.

When she opened the door, I couldn't help but squint. It was covered in different swatches of fabric, and various garments hung on any and all available surfaces. I laughed as picture of my high school production of Joseph and the Technicolor Dreamcoat came to mind. It was the first room I'd seen with a colour on the wall. The soft mauve she'd chosen created an inviting space.

She motioned for me to sit on a computer chair as she got to work on me, brushing and blushing, reminding me of a salon trip. A ritual I only performed on my birthday with my Nonna.

It was easy to forget everything when Skye was talking. We'd share our interests and what my "style" was.

I was thankful for the distraction.

After a while, curiosity got the better of me. "So how'd you end up here, Skye?"

She took a breath in, sadness hinted in those baby blues. "I was lucky enough to be saved by Negan early on. I'd just lost my mother when he found me. I'd tucked myself away in my room, away from it all!" Her orbs iced over as she recalled the memory. Then before it set in, she snapped out of it with a smile on her face. "I've always been here, doing what I can to help. I owe Negan my life and I try to pay it back everyday."  

I was a bit shocked that Negan was able to keep her this sheltered. She seemed like she was more concerned with making his multiple wives feel pretty than everything that was happening around her. She was so lovely, but I couldn't help but think that keeping her that sheltered wouldn't be good for her in the long run.

As refreshing as her sunny disposition was, I was concerned about her welfare if the shit ever hit the fan.

But, in the presence of Skye, the afternoon flew by with curlers and makeup. I tried my best to forget what it was all for. What going to all this effort would mean for me at the end of the evening.

You knew what this was leading to Rackel!