(ty for reading, i very much appreciate u :) ty for ur time and the little star is happy to see u albeit late, my bad)

(EDITED)(Note to readers: Some chapters ahead may not be in line with the new edits.)

For all I talk about my brother, and for all the chaos that follows me from his shadow, the times we've talked alone can be counted on my two hands.

My mother was constantly anxious about us talking to each other without her there, especially if my father was there, too. It was relatively common in high-on families that siblings were not close, considering the whole second birth tradition, but to separate twins, no matter the culture, was admittedly rare. Then again, it was rarer for twins to be born of such different subspecies.

One of the times my brother and I had been left alone was when we were six and he had convinced one of our father's assistants to take him to us before heading to Gangnam on his request, which had not been the first time my brother had veered away from our father's wishes to see my mother and I.

He stood at the doorway, my mother gone in the kitchen for dinner, leaving me in the bedroom, by the wide bay window facing the river. Elias stared at me with my face, half an inch taller already, mirthless.

I said, "Hi, hyung."

Elias said, "Where's Umma?"

"Dinner. What are you doing here?"

He shrugged. "I can't see my own family?"

"You want to see Umma?"

Elias didn't answer. He walked towards me, settling down on the opposite end of the seat. Elias imitated my position, holding his knees to his chest, his chin settled on his knees. He looked out at the river, at the miles of green and gold.

Elias said, "How is it here?"

"Quiet," I admitted. "How is Appa?"

"Not quiet," Elias admitted. "It's been a while since we talked, just you and me."

I giggled at that. "Hyung misses me?"

Elias smiled softly. "Stop calling me that. I'm only a few minutes older."

"Elias," I said, testing it on my tongue.

He laughed. It sounded like my own.

I scooted closer. "You wanted to talk?" I asked, because I had never known Elias well, but I knew enough to know he never did anything without a purpose.

Elias considered me, then said, "I...just wanted to see you." He shrugged. "Appa talks about you and Umma sometimes, but I don't know anything, I feel like I have to look in the mirror just to remember, you know?" Elias gave me a sad grin. "We're brothers who don't know each other."

I laughed again, my smile bright. "Then we should know each other."

If I was crueler, I'd think my brother only ever snuck away to see me and my mother for sake of advantage, that he'd always known about the game, about the bets, about how only one of us could be left standing in the end. But even now, to this day, I only ever remember an earnest smile on my brother's face, and a loneliness in his words.

Even if I had been set up from the start, I'd had my mother, who had chosen to hope for me even if only for a few years. Elias might have been set up to win, but my father had only ever treated him as a burden to bear until fruition, a means to his own end. My mother had treated him as if he wasn't even her son, nothing but a constant reminder of the downfall we'd both one day greet. To my mother, Elias was not her son, but her killer.

Framed that way, Elias had been more alone than anyone.

The sounds of my mother's footsteps made his smile fade. He said to me, "Maybe we can meet halfway. Echo." He turned solemn. "I can't come to see you again for a long time. If I asked, would you come to see me?"

I stared. My mother was adamant, was determined, in her efforts to keep my brother and I apart. My father even more so. But for a moment, for a second, I wondered what it would have been had I been an Alpha, even a Beta, if my brother had been an Omega, if we had a different surname, a different bloodline, a different family. If my mother had never been abandoned by her family, if my father had never been chosen by his. If my brother and I had both been ghost children, exiled like dogs tied up by my father's leash. If we'd both been golden children, praised by the world as the new Drachmann power puppets. If we'd never been at all.

A key presented itself in front of me, my brother without it, me holding it by its teeth. Elias, abandoned by his mother, trained by his father. Me, loved by my mother, scorned by my father. In another world, perhaps a kinder one, we could have been each other's second chance.

"They'd never let me," I said sadly. "I can't."

"You could. You could sneak out, like me. Echo." Elias pursed his lips. "I...don't know anyone else."

"I'm sorry, hyung," I told him. "I can't."

My mother opened the door. She saw me, then the other me. She dropped the tray of food in her hands, letting the bowls and plates shatter on the floor in perfect porcelain shards.

"Out," she told Elias. "Get out. Get out now. Get out now!"

Elias scrambled towards her. "Umma—"

"Out!" she cried, backing away from him and going to grab me. She hauled me to her chest, rushing us away from the window, from my brother, his hands out and empty. "Get away from us! Get away from me!"

Elias began to cry. He looked at me through perfect brown eyes. "Echo," he sobbed. "Echo, please."

I turned my head into my mother's chest and let my brother cry to the sound of her breaking heart.

_________________________

"Our handsome victor," Jeremy cooed as he pushed the microwavable ramyun at me. "Who's our handsome victor?"

"Thanks for the breakfast," I said.

"Ah ah ah." Jeremy waggled his finger at me, the flora and fauna shimmering on his skin. "Say it. Say it out loud for the world to hear!"

"There's four people in this place," I said, gesturing around the empty Audrey.

"Why are you always so judgy?" he snapped. He flicked his fingers, the ramyun skidding away from my reach on the counter. "Go on. Scream it. I wanna hear."

"That's a child you're talking to!" Tri yelled from the back.

"I am not a—"

"Young is good. More stamina," Jeremy said with a nod.

I shook my head. "I don't even want the ramyun anymore."

"Ya, bworago?" Li appeared from behind the beads. "I spent ten minutes making that for you, you punk."

"Hey, I thought I was a handsome victor," I said.

"More like a unicorn-haired saekkiya."

"This unicorn is hungry." I folded my hands at Jeremy and yelled, "Naneun jalsaenggin seunglijaya."

Jeremy sent the ramen sliding back down to me. I grinned and grabbed the chopsticks off the top.

It'd been a week since Corvus's Green Diamond win, which left most of the time being consumed by practice for next week's match, typical press corral, and tentative discussion about Kane's recently revealed diagnosis. Ramos had prescribed what medicine she could and had readily exiled Kane to bed along with that. Him being an Alpha and young helped speed up the recovery process, but Ramos had been honest about what would come after.

"Well, for one thing, he should've known better about going out in such heat when his body is already so tired, and with such thin clothing," she said, sending a significant look at Kane's door as we were gathered in the living room the day after Green Diamond. "He's been taking a few meds, but I'm going to give him a new one that will stall some of the more visible side effects. It'll still show, but slower. For now, we should just watch for any fever or sickness."

"What can we do?" Zahir asked.

Ramos pursed her lips. "No extreme sun and no pool. Make sure he sleeps, and confiscate those cigarettes, it's a nasty habit anyway and it's far from helpful. Make sure he eats." She gave Corvus a look. "Has he been eating?"

"It's day by day," Rosalie admitted.

"Keep an eye on that then. Other than that, don't stress. He's twenty one, he knows how to manage himself, and I'll be checking on him, which is my job. He'd rather you worry about Championships anyway."

"Come on, Ramos," Zahir said weakly.

She sighed. "I know this is scary. But what he does is his choice, and support is the most helpful, not more stress."

"It's our team, too," Rosalie snapped, although more distressed than angry. "We should have a say."

"Then, that's a conversation to have with him and your Coach." She gathered her things.

Kenzo and Diego recovered readily enough given the week. Kenzo was in a brace up until further notice, axing him from practices to his mild aggravation, and Diego was sentenced to regular Ramos check-ups and an X-ray. Although Diego had apologized for his reckless moves, Kenzo had no explanation or remorse to give up.

"You're out of your mind, you really are," Rosalie had snapped as she set the soup and medicine on his bedside, his bedside that was about as oppositional from Kane's as you could get. In fact, Kenzo's room was so utterly, emptily clean that I wondered if he even lived there at all. There weren't even photos or trophies or memorabilia to show for who owned the space. "Do you have any idea how fatal that could've been? What were you thinking?"

Kenzo had taken the medicine and soup without a sound. He pressed on the bandage on his cheek firmly. "Got bored. Bye."

"Kenzo."

He closed his eyes, pretending she wasn't talking. Rosalie threw her hands up with a sigh.

Zahir had spent most of his days going between Diego's room, Kenzo's, and Kane's, although he spent less time with Kane considering Kane made an active effort to keep everyone but Ramos out, and was not very shy about it either.

"I brought cookies," Meredith offered from outside the door. "The ones from K-Town that you used to like. The honey ones?"

Kane called, "Kenzo likes those, give them to him."

"Can I come in?"

"Rather not."

Meredith slumped. Zoe patted her shoulder. "Maybe he's just not feeling it," she tried.

Zahir mentioned it while making a few plates of chicken and rice, the freshmen lined up in front of him as Rosalie tried to negotiate her way into Kane's room.

"None of those three are big on people in their room, really," he said. "But King really hates it. I think he yelled Meredith for it, way back in freshman year."

"Why?" Wynter asked.

Zahir considered that. "King doesn't have any family in the States, so the Talon is his main home here. We all stay here year-round too, but we all have family within fast flight or driving distance. I think since King only ever visits his family a few weeks in a year, he's pretty protective of what he's got here." He threw the chicken cutlets into the pan. "That, and I don't think he likes to share what's in his room with many people. Brings up bad memories."

"Of what?"

Zahir grimaced. "Soured things, I guess."

I listened to the rest of the conversation in silence, but not in spite of thinking why he'd so readily shared it with me.

I thought you'd ask more about her.

If I did, would he answer?

Kane only left his room when we came back from Green Diamond, for sake of checking in on Diego and Kenzo. He'd tried to be sneaky about it, I figured, but as fast as Kane healed, he wasn't that fast.

A crash echoed through the unit one night, jolting me wide awake and sending me bolting out into the living room. Kane knelt beside the coffee table, a fake succulent courtesy of Meredith's decor now broken on the carpet. 

He squinted at it. "Something broke," he murmured.

"No shit," I breathed, sagging with relief. "I thought we were being fucking robbed. What are you doing up?"

Kane thought about his answer. "Sleepwalking."

Zahir said behind me, albeit groggy, "You're not asleep."

"Yes I am."

I shook my head. "Why are you up?"

Kane glanced at Kenzo's door. Then said, "I wanted water."

"Where's the water?"

"What's with the interrogation? You shouldn't question your elders."

Zahir said, "Don't lie to your elders either. Come on, get up, you can text him."

"I should talk face to face."

"You don't even know where you're going," I said. "You're half-blind."

"Partially," he muttered.

Diego had healed faster, and once he was up and moving again with only minor bandages to show for it, he dragged Kane out by the shoulders in the midst of breakfast, looking wholly better enough to be unimpressed.

"Tie this loco up with rope, he's come in to talk to me twice," Diego said. "And he's got a 102 temperature."

"Traitor," Kane snapped. "I'm gonna kill you."

"I swear we're in freshman year again," Diego muttered.

Zahir raised a brow. "Dude."

Kane said, "I hate everyone. Loathe your guts." 

I said, "Go to bed."

"Make me," he snapped. He promptly yawned, then slumped on the couch, curled up around a throw pillow, and fell asleep.

"How much we gotta pay Ramos extra to come and tranquilize him?" I asked through a mouthful of granola bar.

"Too much," Diego said, watching Kane with a sad smile.

And so on.

All that being said, despite what Zahir had entailed, my nights soon took a turn.

"Ramos said this is your new medication," I told him the Saturday following Green Diamond. I set the tray of chicken soup and water along with the pill bottle next to his bed. His lunch had barely been touched, nothing but the bread and a few pieces of fruit missing. I sighed. "She also said the meds work better with food."

Kane's fever lowered in increments, his migraines had decreased to nearly nothing, and his body aches were disappearing, along with the dreaded metallic scent. But the exhaustion was what had lingered, no matter what Ramos and the rest of Corvus tried to do. As much as Kane talked up leaving the bed and returning to his normal life, he looked as though he didn't even have the strength to walk for more than a few minutes.

"Not hungry," he murmured. "Doesn't this house own anything other than soup?"

I sat down at the foot of his bed. "Like what?"

"Juk," he said with a nod. "Everyone knows that's what works."

"Juk is kind of chicken soup, just add rice."

"Disgusting," he murmured. "Real juk is better than that."

"I see your attitude persists through good and poor health," I said. "Picky healthy, picky sick."

Kane hoisted himself up. He crossed his arms. "Whatever."

I sighed. I gazed around the room. I said, "Zahir told me you don't like people in your room."

Kane shrugged at that. "Guess not. Who does?"

"Why'd you want me in here?"

Kane looked a bit taken aback. After a moment, he straightened. "You...take my mind off it."

"Off what?"

He shrugged, gestured faintly at the bed stand and his eyes. "Feels like someone in the peripheral," he explained.

I pursed my lips. I nodded. I said, "Eat your food."

Kane snagged my sleeve. He said, "You did well. At the match yesterday."

I paused. I glanced at him. "You watched?"

"It's Corvus," he said, like that was all he needed to say. When he let go of my sleeve, he gave me a soft smile, malleable like gold. "You competed in a death round."

I shrugged. "It was wild."

"You did well," he said. "I agree with Rosie."

"About?"

He smiled wider. "About a D1 top racer being just right for you."

I scoffed. "That sickness has made you delirious."

Kane shrugged. "You raced well," he said. "What more do I say?"

"Congrats?"

"Congrats." Kane tugged me to him. "Tell me about the match. How'd it go with Aster?"

I left out some details but relayed Aster's message to him. He seemed to understand it more than I did because he frowned a moment later, then nodded for me to continue. I was happy to change the subject, so much so, I did it several times over, until I woke up the next day diagonal on Kane's bed, his arms over my head.

Ramos stood above us. She said, "Really?"

"It's not like that," I tried.

Ramos shook her head. "Just go, Echo."

The next day was the same. I dropped off Kane's dinner, only to stay for longer than I should, only to lose out to my own day's exhaustion at some ungodly hour of the night and passing out in a less-than optimal position in his bed, only to find Ramos staring down at me with his meds the next morning. Looking very unhappy, may I add.

"He's sick," she said to me in lieu of good morning. "He's sick and you're sleeping in his bed, why is that?"

"It's not like that," I murmured, rubbing at my eyes.

"Then please let him sleep."

I told him such on Tuesday. "Ramos said let you sleep." 

Kane shrugged. "I sleep."

"You should sleep more."

Kane grabbed my sleeve and pulled me down to the bed. I stared at him. He said, eyes closed, "Then, sleep."

I slept, his heartbeat in my temples and running down my neck.

And again.

"You look better," I said, setting down the tray of food. I frowned at the picked-at lunch. "All things considered."

Kane frowned at the soup. I said, "I'd cook your stupid porridge for you if I could, man." He sighed. I added, "Corvus is gonna break down your door if you don't let them in soon."

He shook his head. "They don't need to worry more than they already have to with Kenzo in a brace and the next match coming up." He rubbed at his eyes. "Besides, I'm not good company sick."

"Well, they endure you healthy, too. Give them some credit."

Kane threw one of his many pillows at me. I laughed a little, shrugged. "I'm still here."

Kane hummed. "Yeah," he murmured. "You're still here." He scooted to the side of the bed. "I'm cold."

"Give me the thermometer."

"I'll stab you with it. Come here."

"I highly doubt I supply much body heat to help you."

Kane sighed. He threw another pillow at me and missed by a mile. "Just a little while."

I cocked my head. But, I got up, and slid in beside him, cotton and the scent of skin in my nose. I said, "You should sleep. If you do, you can sleep this all off."

Kane said, "Not how that works."

"You can't step down," I said.

"I never said I would."

"Then say you won't."

Kane closed his eyes. "Let's talk about something else, please."

And, so on.

By the time the following Thursday rolled around, Kane had finally shed the last of the exhaustion and his temperature returned to normal. He was seen in the kitchen with Diego making some sort of sandwich. The black scars on his body had lost their silver sheen. Him being better meant Corvus was immediately back to their usual agenda by that afternoon. I never thought I'd be so relieved to be in so much chaos once more.

"Kenzo drank all the milk," Diego announced. "Kenzo thinks he's better than us."

Kenzo said, "I'm injured."

"Milk makes it worse."

"You make it worse."

Diego gasped. "You, will receive no popcorn for movie night."

Kenzo hesitated at that. Rosalie pointed at Diego. "Bring the damn popcorn or I'm coming over there myself."

"Oh, no," he drawled, and bolted when she got to her feet.

Zahir tapped at my door one morning, startling me out of my half-finished orange. He opened the door, then frowned. "Why?" he asked.

"Hey, better than candy," I tried. "What's up?"

"Kane has insisted on going to the gym, so we're all tagging along, figure we've taken long enough of a break. He said you gotta come."

"This is a free country and I won't," I yelled, loud enough for Kane to likely hear.

"This is my team and you will," he yelled back.

"What is this injustice?"

"This isn't a democracy."

"You're a dictator!"

"Tracker. Stop whining."

"When does that contract end?" I asked Zahir.

He just smiled.

The gym was as fun as you can imagine.

I lied on the treadmill. "I can't. I just can't. You can't make me."

"It's a fifteen pound weight," Rosalie snapped. "My twelve year old cousin can lift that."

"Then send it to your cousin."

"At least try," Meredith said.

I got up. I grabbed the weight. I heaved it up. "Okay, there, done."

"Good. Twenty more."

"Tomfoolery."

"Stop whining," Kenzo said from behind me. He seemed plenty at ease with his rowing machine, his brace now abandoned in favor for KT tape and ibuprofen. "Hurry up."

I made it to ten before sitting down and saying, "I think I was meant to be a prince in another life."

Wynter hopped off her treadmill and bent down. "Better buck up and lift, Your Majesty."

"It's your Royal Highness, politically speaking."

"Someone get this badger some muscle."

I gaped. Corvus shrugged from their machines. Rosalie shook her head down at me. I said, "Why are you my coach?"

She raised a brow. "Oh, well, if you prefer someone else, I'm more than happy to hand you off to your tracker."

Rosalie dragged me by the arm through the Talon's expansive gym, weaving through athletes sweating up a storm with weights upwards of 190 pounds and speeds faster than 5 minute miles. She stopped in a new corner of a gym where Zahir and Kane were situated.

Zahir was up against a speed bag, and ducked out of it when he spotted us, waving. He called, "Handing him off?"

"With pleasure," she muttered.

"With pleasure," I mocked.

Zahir gestured opposite of him. "Yeah, good luck with that."

Kane was busy up against a punching bag, clad in nothing but a tank top and basketball shorts. He must've heard the conversation—the eavesdropper—because he turned around a second later to frown at us. He ran his taped fingers through his hair, sweat beading on his skin.

I said, "I think I'm having a seizure."

"What?" Zahir and Rosalie said.

"What?" I said.

Kane approached me. He said, "Fifteen pounds?"

"Your judgment is cruel."

He grabbed me by the back of my T-shirt. "Come on."

Kane taped up my hands and fingers before pushing me in front of the bag. I didn't have the heart to tell him I long knew how to fight, thanks to Mercy's ministrations, but he seemed to catch something after a few minutes, because he said, "You were pretty good at the Eval matches, too."

I said, "I got hobbies."

Kane said, "Hope you got them for the next hour."

And, so on.

All of which eventually brings us to that very Saturday, me in the Audrey, sitting at the counter with three witches and a ramyun bowl, roots freshly dyed and a quasi-victory in my spirits, and the Splinter's humid tail-end of June coloring the outside skies blue and gold like a freshly blooming flower.

Jeremy and Tri set their elbows on the counter, leaning over to flutter their lashes at me. I said through a mouthful of noodles, "What?"

"You," Tri said with a glittering grin, "look different."

"New dye," I said, gesturing at my hair. "I added more purple."

"No, no, I mean your face."

"I got one of those."

"I mean your aura."

"Or a what?"

"Your energy," she sighed. She glided white-tipped fingers along the wood, the air a little static. "It's very...magnetic. Very romantic, if you will."

I cocked a brow. "I won't."

"Oh, you know something. You're smitten."

Jeremy gasped. "It's that handsome man that you nearly killed with your bony body."

"Okay, first off, that was an accident. Second, I went to the gym. No more bony for me."

"The gym? With who?"

"You witch, you wizard," I snarled, and he snickered. "It's not like that."

"Like what?" Tri asked.

I ate my ramyun. They snickered. Li burst through the beads, shoving them out of the way to plant her hands on the counter. "Never fall for a pretty boy, Echo. They take your heart, crush it up, turn it to dust and crush the dust. Terrible people. I wish I'd never known they existed. Echo, ya, paba. See a pretty boy, take his liver."

"For fuck's sake, Li," Jeremy snapped.

"Would you take my liver?" Tri asked.

I hung my head. "Oy vey." I shoved another chopstick-ful of noodles into my mouth.

I was content to escape Corvus for the morning, considering we'd only interacted with each other nearly twenty-four-seven for the past week, and as great as the bunch was, a man could only handle so many Class I lycan golden children in one room for so long. Nia was gone already for summer vacation, relocated out of state for her own getaway from school, the lucky bastard. It left me with the Audrey to retreat to, but with food and old hags with gossip, I supposed it wasn't a terrible haven.

Li said, "I heard you got the gram."

"The wha?"

"The gram. Instant gram."

"Show your age, why don't you! It's Instograph," Jeremy argued.

I said, "Sure."

Jeremy said, "Oh, you are in a good mood." He narrowed his eyes. "Whose dick you suck to be so happy?"

I choked on the noodles, coughing violently away as Jeremy watched in amusement. I pounded furiously on my chest and wheezed for air. Tri and Li raised their eyebrows at me.

"Between all your racing and researching the structure of a petunia," Li said, snagging a napkin to throw at my face, "I'd think you wouldn't have time to go making moon-eyes at anyone."

"I don't," I gasped. I grabbed the nearest bottle of water and chugged a fourth of it. "I've never. No moons in these eyes, only fear."

Jeremy hummed, grinning wide and reaching out to let his mink coat sleeves brush against my skin. "Fear of...love? Oh, my goodness, I knew it. Our Echo is getting married!"

"How the fuck do you even get to the points you get to?" I snapped.

"Marriage!" Li scoffed. "My thirteenth husband will tell you all about the futility of that stupid, stupid word."

"Oh, what's the theme?" Tri clapped her hands as she fluttered towards the other end of the counter, randomized objects flying to and from the counters and shelves to place themselves in haphazard arrangements around me, trapping me in her so-called wedding themes. "I say beach. Or, enchanted castle. Lycans...forest? Enchanted forest above a beach. Naked. With teeth."

"What the fuck? What the fuck, man, what the fuck?"

"Naked teeth wedding enchanted forest above a beach special guest—" Jeremy opened his palms as bursts of blue light sparkled in them like micro-fireworks. "—me."

I let my forehead thud against the countertop.

Li hummed. "Naked teeth wedding enchanted—"

"Stop. Encouraging them," I groaned.

"—forest above a beach special guest Jeremy catered exclusively by the Audrey sponsored by rich groom which is not the pink one." Li made a rainbow gesture with zero impressment. "Oh, happy, happy days, ring the bells now."

The witches clapped amongst themselves. "It's a wedding!" Jeremy cheered. "It's a—"

Someone said, "Wedding?"

Tri, Jeremy, and Li all froze in their tracks. They lurched around me to see who had walked in.

I buried my face in my hands, ramyun abandoned along with any shreds of dignity that I had once had slowly building for myself. I wondered if it was possible to kill yourself with wooden chopsticks and your best efforts.

"That's the groom now," Tri said, earning a sharp hiss from Li.

"The rich groom at that," Li murmured.

Jeremy said, "I'm gonna look so good in those wedding photos."

Tri leaned over the counter, fluttering her eyelashes. "And how can we help you, our wonderful gro—customer?"

A pause. "Something keeps running off on its own, so I'm just here to pick it up. Sorry for the trouble."

"No trouble! This one, why, he's the trouble! Trouble of yours, of course." Tri pushed me from the counter. "All yours, this one."

"Treacherous wench," I muttered.

"Runaway pet," Li replied.

"Say that to my face."

"Hey."

I sighed. Jeremy and Tri leaned over towards each other with a gushing, "Hey."

"Flawless," he gasped.

"The most perfect 'hey'," Tri agreed.

"Yeesh," Li muttered.

I turned around.

Kane stood in a thin blue long-sleeve and jeans, his hair still damp from a recent shower and leftover sleep still shadowing his eyes. He had on a pair of plain black Converse high-tops, the most modest pair of shoes he owned in his entire closet. He tapped silver rings against the edge of the energy drink aisle shelf.

"'Hey'," I replied, "is for horses."

Kane cocked his head. He said, "I hear there's a wedding."

I stared. "How long have you been here?"

Kane looked me over. "Long enough. Are you getting married?"

"What's it to you?"

"Nothing and less than. You like him?"

"He is...an acquired taste."

"I ought to meet him."

"You ought to."

"Strange theme, though."

"It's Nordic."

"Is he Nordic?"

"What's with the questions?"

"What's with the wedding?"

"You wanna be the ring boy or something?"

Kane headed for the breakfast bar. "Not the first title I'd pick."

I slumped against the counter. At Li's bemused look, I explained, "I've got brain damage, you see. Life-threatening, and all."

"Don't you need a brain to have it be damaged?" she drawled, and left me with that.

Kane set the breakfast bar and an iced black coffee down before the register. He didn't bother looking at me, simply reaching into his back pocket and withdrawing the Atlas phone I'd still refused to carry on my person if I could help it.

"You live to piss me off, I swear," he muttered and pushed the phone towards me. "How many times do I gotta tell you to carry that with you if you're going somewhere?"

"What'd I miss now?" I sighed.

"Kenzo is insisting on going out tonight," he said. Tri took an extra minute to hand him his change, solely to smile at his face. Kane, to my irritation, was polite enough to smile back. "Says he hates the atmosphere, we need our minds off it."

"Off it," I repeated. "Is he one to say that?"

Kane slid a stack of bills back to Tri, who grinned at it with green eyes. "Come every day," Tri told him.

He maintained his smile. "Thank you again." He glanced at me, sliding into French without a blink. "What's that mean?"

I shrugged. "Nothing."

"Doesn't sound like nothing."

"Let's not talk about this now," I said.

I pushed my empty ramyun bowl into the trash and got to my feet, saluting the witches as I went. 

"Hey, hey, hey!" Jeremy snapped. "We're not done here! I'm not, at least!"

Tri squinted at me. "You speak French."

Li said, "Echo Yun, you look damn depressed now."

"Thanks for the celebration," I called.

"Echo," Kane said, but I was already out the door.

I stopped around a corner, Kane pausing at my side. I reached around Kane and into his back pocket, fishing around until I found a box of Lucky Strikes. I withdrew one, then opened my hand at him. He raised a brow, then put the cartoon crow lighter into my palm. Kane leaned on the wall across from me. I lit the cigarette and bit down on the smoke.

 "You're mad at me," he stated.

"That's an assumption," I replied.

"Why are you mad?"

"I'm not," I tried, because I wasn't. 

We stood in silence for a few moments longer, the wind curling around our feet and wrists, cool and damp. The smoke fled from my tongue, floating away into the vicinity of the shadowed avenues. 

Kane said, "I would have told them eventually."

I didn't speak to that for a few moments. I sighed. "When?" I asked. At his quiet, I added, "When it was too late?"

"Neither of us are ones to be talking about the timing or the contents of secrets," he sighed.

I pursed my lips. That was painfully fair, and quite heavy for such an hour. "No," I agreed, "but that doesn't make it right."

Kane bit his lip. "Corvus will withstand."

"That's not what this is about."

"Why are you mad at me?"

"I'm not," I repeated. "I'm just...I'm being blunt. That's not the same thing. It's not just your life."

"You sound like Rosalie," he murmured. "The timing wasn't right. There's too much going on, and there's nothing that can be done anyway. It would've only made them panic."

"What's happening now?" I said, and he pursed his lips tight. "They got blindsided in broad daylight." I faced him. "They all just found out you went behind their backs to set the team up for a new lineup, a new captain, and your imminent death. They lost one person close to them, they probably don't want to lose another. To them, you chose something they feel they should've gotten a say in. It's your life. But it's their team, too. And I might've figured it out on my own, but..." But you won't be captain at the end of the year no matter what anyway. "You might not care what happens to you, but somebody is gonna have to be there to pick up the pieces. They'd rather lose their captain than lose their friend."

It occurred to me just how hypocritical my conversation was, all things considered, but I figured my justification came in the context. My life's position in Corvus's world was expendable. I was a body easily replaced, someone to lift up or chow down with ease both ways. I was a friend at best. But Kane was family at least.

I wasn't angry, but mournful if anything. Corvus had clung to their number one title with a desperate fervor after Poppy's death, and had only been able to hang onto it because of Kane's rallying and their own efforts and abilities. They were only just returning with fresh victories and new faces. Having to undergo it all over again, there was something unendingly cruel about it, even if not on Kane's part.

Kane seemed to sense where I was going if the grim expression on his face said anything about it. He said, "You should be mad."

I shook my head. "Why?"

"It's your team, too."

"I'm different," I said. "I'm an extra body for sake of. I'm not talking about me anyway, I'm talking about Corvus."

"If I talk about Corvus," Kane said, "I'm talking about you."

"You shouldn't," I said. "Just talk to them. They're not stupid enough to try and bring it up first."

Kane considered that. I handed him my cigarette, and he let the gray storm leave his mouth in a fleeting puff. We passed it amongst ourselves in silence, the morning slowly warming into a signature June heat wave, until there was nothing but the stump left. I ground it under my shoe.

"Let's stop meeting out of context," I told him.

Kane said, "Carry your phone."

"What'll that do?"

"Keep my head from hurting," he muttered. "Come on. Let's go back home."

I left the ashes in my wake, conversation and all, and took a breath.

_______________________

If Kane was keen on talking to Corvus, he and I seemed to share the timing habit considering he avoided it for the sake of a carefree night and seemed content to table it for a calmer weekend. For now, Corvus was eager to flee the Talon's confines and recall their current youth, and along with it, their unholy bank account balance.

"Clubbing," I repeated back to Kane from my perch on the bathroom counter. "You want this—" I gestured at myself. "—to go clubbing? Club Penguin, maybe."

"Kenzo and Diego opted for it, got the rest of Corvus to agree, too." Kane looked over the trays of serums, jars, and cologne bottles. "We're outnumbered, so might as well shed the Club Penguin face and put some decent clothes on. What'd I tell you about burning that shirt?" He pointed at my PLUTO IS A MOTHERLOVIN' PLANET shirt.

"Burn me with it then," I said. "If this is to clear minds, I'll stay home and namaste my way there while you all get shit-faced. Why do I have to come?"

"First rule." Kane pushed his salt and pepper hair back to spray cologne against his neck. Cotton and soap dissipated into soft pine and blue wood. "And I don't trust you without supervision."

"Your 'supervision' has gotten us kicked out of three places."

"Yeah, that's what happened," he deadpanned. Kane rolled up the sleeves of his black blazer, forearms bared to the world. I stared the dreaded veins running through them. "Go get dressed. They'll kick you out of the car if you look like that."

"Four places, then."

Kane slid over to stand between my legs. He furrowed his brow at my outfit. "You buttoned this wrong," he said, tugging at my shirt collar.

I didn't bother arguing and let him have his way with the buttons hiding under Kane's gifted neon green sweater with strange French words strewn over it that I figured were of a higher knowledge than my French could extend to. I tugged at the sleeves of his black and white jacket. "How you find things—unwrinkled, at that—in that monsoon of a room, I don't know."

"I have a closet," he replied. "And my room is only messy in the summer and spring, I clean it up after I visit Korea because I end up replacing a lot of stuff."

"Just what is happening to you in Korea that you go from a needle in a cotton and leather haystack to a Kenzo?"

He shrugged. He fixed the buttons of the shirt with a hum. "Come on. Before they track us down."

"What kind of club is this exactly?"

Kane rolled his neck and grimaced. "Canine club. Kenzo and Zahir went  a few years back and they want to go again, they say it's a fun distraction." Kane peered at my hair, then ran fingers through the waves, pushing them back from my forehead. "It's not really my scene, but it's an experience."

"I'll take your word on that." I hopped off the counter. Kane's hand lingered on the top of my head before he dropped it and headed out to the living room.

Outside, Corvus waited impatiently and luxuriously, their bodies wrapped from head to toe in both the flashiest and most subtle of riches a rich kid could manage; earrings glittered with true metals, tops clung with a tailored fervor, jackets draped like royal tapestries, shoes shone like leather stars.

Kenzo looked me up and down in a millisecond assessment, then turned on the heel of his black and red shoes. He called, "Hurry up."

Meredith sidled up next to me, the silver skirt of her dress swishing left to right. "You look very sophisticated," she told me.

"A fraud, then," I said.

"A new man, perhaps?" Zoe corrected, going on my other side.

"Wonder who's responsible for that," Meredith murmured.

I figured we would take Kenzo's and Zahir's cars as we always had, maybe even the team van, parked out front and waiting for our imminent arrival. However, the moment I stepped out into the unforgiving heat of evening June, I found something very different waiting for us in the streetlights and shadows.

Wynter gasped, seizing her chest. "You rented a limo?"

"His dad uses this to transport artists when they're overseas here," Zahir explained as Kenzo headed for the car with the same manner as he'd approach a taxi. "So, for the rest of the night, him and his other guy are on call." He grinned widely. "Travel in style, right?"

"Travel in rent," I said, shaking my head at the limousine. "Is this necessary?"

"No," Kenzo said, and headed for the car.

Zoe shrugged. "But Christ, doesn't it look pretty?"

"Don't be so easily wooed," Wynter said, then bolted for the back. "I call window."

The driver, a slim-shouldered man of a relatively ripe age under the simple name of Fred-and-nothing-more, opened the door for us with a bow of his head. Kenzo said something to him in sharp Japanese, then clambered in with the rest of us as Fred returned to the driver's seat up front.

I'd seldom witnessed a limousine, let alone been inside of one, so it was needless to say that I was a bit awestruck by the sheer excess of it all. Leather cushions lined the walls for seats, an icebox on one end, a snack shelf on the other. Shadows encased the interior, nothing but stripes of purple LED lights to give any illumination for us to see. Corvus was nothing but black and purple blurs, their chatter swelling from minute to abhorrent in a matter of moments.

Cold waters and wine coolers were passed around almost immediately, with Kane and I content to pick on dried fruits and vinegar chips, just as the vehicle began to move. I said, "Is this just how you people travel?"

"No," they protested just as Kenzo said, "Mostly."

"What's that like?" Wynter drawled.

Kenzo took a large swig of the wine cooler. "Pretty nice."

Rosalie glanced at us from behind her gold bangles and peach cooler. "You two our designated sobers? Yun, you have to drink a little."

"Allergic," we both said.

"And aversive," I said, wrinkling my nose at the sugary smell wafting from their drinks.

"Gummy bears for breakfast but aversive to a wine cooler at night," Wynter scoffed. "Doesn't matter, sober or drunk, let's live it up. Kenzo actually had a heart for today."

"Don't get your hopes up," he said.

I said, "What kind of club is this exactly?"

Corvus looked amongst each other, then gave us cool grins. Meredith handed me an ice water.

"You'll see," she promised.

"You people gotta stop saying that."

Meredith laughed. She glanced around her, then leaned forward clandestinely. "We used to go a lot because of Kenzo, he knew someone there. Personally, you know?"

"You don't have to be all secretive about it," Kane sighed. "He used to screw around with someone there and now he's trying to sneak his way back into that."

Kenzo said, "I can hear you."

"Ah, are we discussing the pitfalls of Kenzo's love life?" Diego asked with a snicker. "Hey, I can totally hop on that train."

"Kenzo with a love life," I repeated. "Regale me."

We spent so much of the car ride caught up in a tug-of-war of gossip over Corvus and their past lives before us rookies had come along, that I hadn't even bothered to pay attention enough to look out the tinted windows at our surroundings as we rode. It wasn't until nearly an hour had passed with several wine coolers gone, that I even thought to peer outside.

The vehicle came to a stuttering halt. Fred rolled down the separating window and called, "We are here, sir," in polite Japanese. Kenzo raised a hand in silent acknowledgment, then gestured out the doors.

"Get out," he said.

We got out.

As we did, I finally took a damn good look at exactly where we had ended up.

In perfect blue and pink, neon bright and packed to the damn brim, Fang Flower smiled down at me with a cursed, wretched familiarity, wholly pleased with herself at meeting me once again.

Let me tell you: karma is a scheming, snaky, snaggle-toothed bitch.

I faced the three stories, the smell of sweet perfume and pungent alcohol, the sight of canines swinging heels and tails and teeth and rings. I closed my eyes.

"Fuck me," I sighed.

"Me first," Diego snickered, earning a side-eye from Zahir. "Vamos a vivirlo, yeah?"

"What's that mean?" I said.

Diego swung an arm around my neck and wheeled me straight for the club. "Means live it the fuck up, cobayo," he said. "You're about to have a night so crazy you'll think you're dreaming."

Corvus headed for the club with us at its tail.

Under my breath, I said, "I sure as shit would like to be."

Ho there, behold the cruel chapter of my fate: the fuckening of my fuckery.

"What in the hell are you doing?" Kane said, pushing my head back away from his arm.

"Er, your jacket is very soft," I replied, before promptly attempting to squirm under his arm and into the fabric to hide my face.

"It's leather," he drawled, but let me crawl in anyway. "Since when are you so touchy?"

"This club is very cold."

"It's eighty degrees."

"This club is very...lukewarm."

Kane didn't bother trying to argue as headed for the monstrosity. Meredith came around and snapped a photo, to which Kane went to swat her away for. Which was fun. This was fun. Not really. Not at all. If anything, I'd be lucky to keep my stomach from upheaving itself all over those gilded floors.

"I'm so screwed," I muttered. "Beyond screwed. Screwed times two. Screwed 2.0. Screwed squared."

"Be screwed inside," Kane sighed, and pushed me forward. "At least you'll be trendy and screwed."

Or trendy and dead.

"Go with them," he told me, gesturing where Corvus was lining up for specific admission next to the regular guests. "Kenzo and I are going to get the drivers' contacts just in case."

Shamefully, I wasn't very settled at the idea of going in without Kane at my back, all things considered. But Diego was already dragging me away and waving Kane and Kenzo goodbye as we went. An unforgiving purple and red glare showered over us, eradicating any other kind of light available to illuminate our paths. The world was a sickly, hazy violet.

"They...don't ask for ID, do they?" I asked Diego.

He considered that. "We've never been flagged," he said with a shrug, which wasn't really an answer. "Hey, what's with the shakes, cobayo? You're with us, like hell they'd ask. What, you an identity thief or something? You a wanted man?"

I didn't even have the nerves to laugh.

Not a wanted man. Not a man at all. No one.

The bouncers took a look at us, humming to themselves as they ushered us inside past the lines of glittering people in the simmering heat of late June. One stopped me with a raised brow and an unimpressed face, and my heart jumped up into my throat.

Rosalie stopped, frowning at him. "He's with us," she reminded. "Come on, Yun."

I kept my face down. I tried to take a step. The bouncer reached over to hold his arm out in front of me. The flash of a black gun in his pants made every nerve in my spine spasm with panic.

He said gruffly, "How old are you?"

"Oh, you've got to be kidding," Rosalie sighed, then snapped at me, "I told you to wear platforms."

"Not helping," Meredith snapped from ahead of me.

I clenched my fists. "Nineteen," I said.

He paused. "I'm gonna need ID."

My skin went ice cold. ID? I didn't have fucking ID, not a real one at least other than a measly school keycard. The only wallet I'd dared to bring was one of the dozen wallets I had stuffed in the box behind the dresser that contained one of many fake IDs courtesy of Mercy's jobs, and it might've worked if I was alone, but it sure as shit wouldn't hold over with Corvus if they caught a glimpse.

I swallowed hard. Sweat began to prickle on my neck. "I...have a school one."

"I said ID, that means a real ID, kid, what kind of place you think this is?" he sighed. "Come on."

"I have the school one."

"And I said real ID." He narrowed his eyes at my face. "What's your name?"

My breath thinned. I just stared, racking my brain for some semblance of a decent answer that would satisfy him. Diego and Zahir had returned to see what the hold-up was.

Diego rolled his eyes when the bouncer wouldn't let up. "Pendejo. Fine, whatever. Yun, just show the bastard."

Meredith pushed her way through. "He's with us." She took my arm and gave the bouncer a polite smile. "Thanks for being vigilant, but no need here. We have a room reservation, you can check if you want."

She tried to tug me through the door, but the bouncer reached out and grabbed my shoulder. He yanked me backwards too fast for me to realize and my shoulder blade jammed into the metal bar, which was highly unpleasant as you can imagine, seeing as the match of last week had put out that particular muscle for some time as it already was.

I didn't bother trying not to crumble a little at the shock of pain that bolted through me. Meredith yelled my name. Guests and strangers looked our way curiously. I cursed violently.

"ID or no entry," he snapped.

"What the fuck is your problem?" Rosalie shoved her way through. "Are you out of your mind?"

"No ID, no entry," he said louder.

I held my shoulder. I kept my head down. The last thing I needed was eyes on me, let alone with any ill feeling. I was better off disappointing Corvus than I was jeopardizing me or the Bengals.

I brushed myself off. "It's fine, then. Forget—"

"Hey, hey, hey now!" someone yelled from behind me. "That's a pretty harsh move on such a young puppy, don't you think, Jay?"

I turned on my heel.

04 Yubaek Han was covered head to toe in blazing, bold red, the smirk sewn into his lips even bolder. He smiled at me, then at the bouncer with a wink. "You're too judgy, Jay," he told him. He swung his arm around my shoulders and beamed brightly. "Book and its cover, you know what I mean? He's with Corvus, you know that. Let the newbie be. I think he gets enough flack, yeah?"

The bouncer sighed at that, squaring his shoulders. He glanced between me, Yubaek, and Corvus, before finally stepping aside and gesturing at the club entry. "Go on in," he grumbled.

"Aw, see? I owe you one," Yubaek promised.

If my stomach was ill before, I was downright nauseous now. The world began to spin faster than I could bear to keep up with. 

 Yubaek winked down at me, which didn't help. "You're a real troublemaker, Yun," he told me, then snickered. "All alone, without your team. Hey, where's your captain? Isn't he supposed to be the one swooping in to save his pet?"

I didn't even have the wherewithal to answer. Yubaek let me sit in the silence for a while, then looked behind me. "Oh, hey, speak of the devil. There's the martyr now."

Martyr? I glanced back.

Kane stood with Kenzo at his back, staring at us like he'd seen a ghost. He looked at me, then Yubaek, then me and Yubaek, and only looked sicker.

Yubaek didn't seem to notice, or at least didn't seem to care. He raised his hand to wave. "Whoa, whoa, whoa! What's that tall thing over there? The king himself, in the flesh?" His grin was devilish, full of fangs. "What a treat."

Kenzo wasn't concerned with Yubaek, his eyes busy boring into something adjacent to us. For all the shit that had seemed to miss my peripheral in the past five minutes, I was seriously scared of turning around yet again and likely find something that would be the true fuckening of my fuckery. But, if I didn't, that'd mean I was smarter, and if I was smarter, well, this story would really be a lot shorter, let's be honest.

I turned around.

Half a dozen people standing by newly-arrived limos stood on the sidewalk, all gore and glamor, blood and beauty, alive only by the moonlight and the club's cruel neon glow. Among them, Baluyot, 08 Yugyeom Han, Aster, and Luan all stood, staring right back at us.

Luan grinned wide.

"Long time no see, Kitae," he said. The words were nothing less than a knife slicing flesh open, from head to groin, through tissue, through veins, right to the bone.

I closed my eyes, and watched the blood begin to run from the open wound.

(this chapter honestly ended up being a lot less directional than I wanted but i'm writing it up in short intervals over the course of a very busy week, so please forgive this very strange, sort of randomized chapter for sake of context, haha. thank u for reading anyway, and ty for patience over the delay of posting for the last week or so.)