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Commenting timeframe (CST): 8/13 -8/21

Moderator: swiftiegirl1010

Comment tip: Help support each writer by voting on their chapter. We are all writers trying to grow and improve. Be a reviewer but more importantly, be a friend by supporting one another :) oh, and don't forget the prompt challenge!

Comment Topic: Comment on the set-up of the scene in the chapter and how well the authors did it.

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Author #1: AmeVicky02

Book Title: Lighthouse Lullaby

Specified Chapter: Part 11 | Saturday, 26th September

Summary Thus Far in Book: Ambrosia "Amber" Underwood -- a seventeen-year-old high school student and hater of change -- goes to the old lighthouse in her town almost every night to battle insomnia. For quite some time now, she's been very careful not to make friends and to be as distant from people as she can. So, she loves the solidarity of the lighthouse. But on one Friday night when she finds a teary-eyed Dylan Frost there, everything starts to change, much to Amber's dismay.

In the current chapter, Amber and Dylan are at the high school queen bee's party that Amber had invited Dylan to without much thought, purely out of guilt. (Dylan is often bullied in school, and Amber doesn't defend him.)

Author's Note: Hi everyone! It's a wonderful feeling to be spotlighted once again. (And I'm just as nervous as I was the first time around!) 'Lighthouse Lullaby' is my second story, and it is completed. So, I'm not exactly looking for changes in the plot. But here's what I would like to know:

1. Did you enjoy reading this chapter? (Your thoughts on the song would be appreciated, too. Vanic is one of my favourites.)

2. What do you think of Amber so far? I know that it must be a little difficult to judge the MC when you're being thrown into the middle of the plot, but any thoughts you have on her are appreciated.

3. Finally, what did you think about Dylan and Amber's relationship?

Thank you so much for reading my story and taking the time to leave wonderful, kind and useful comments. I hope you enjoy this chapter. Thank you again! <3

Genre: Teen Fiction

Rating: PG-13 (for some language).

Winning Comment: 

#NBR

Congrats on the spotlight! You definitely grabbed my attention with the summary. I'm a total sucker for this kind of story, in fact after reading this chapter I went and read through the whole book from the start to the end and totally messed up my schedule because I was supposed to get work done this afternoon but no I just had to read your entire book it's your fault XD Can't listen to the songs with my current sucky connection but will definitely check those out when I'm home with reliable Internet! I really enjoyed this, it's dreamy and refreshing with lowkey sad but still beautiful undertones and an un-cliche backstory that's revealed little by little. I especially love how you deal with some "cliche" subjects in very unique ways. How the problem of Gracie is solved in the end is one of the best and most memorable ways to deal with bullies that I've ever read and that's saying a lot because bullies are like in every second teen fiction book lol

The setting of this chapter is well done I think! I was a bit confused at first at the park part, but that's mostly due to me not knowing what happened before the chapter. I love the way the party is described, I can almost feel the heat and the weird adrenaline that getting drunk at parties always makes you feel. Also love how Amber's narrative starts getting gradually more and more muddled after she gets drunk. Nothing screams "tipsy" more than Amber suddenly marveling how there's so many lights and colors lol. (Also kind of glad that Justin didn't end up trying anything. He actually ended up a character that I somewhat like despite seeming pretty annoying at first.)

Onto the questions:

Did I enjoy the chapter?: Yes! I loved the tone and style and even though all the pop culture references went over my head (sorry, I live in this Asian country and also happen to not have a TV) I enjoyed it enough to go back and read the book from the start. Definitely my cup of tea.

What do I think of Amber?: She falls into the category of witty sarcastic MCs that often appear in teenfics, but unlike a lot of those who aren't actually very witty or sarcastic (lol) I feel like she really is quite sharp. And real. And weird. She's excited pretty much all the time in this chapter but I can tell from the other chapters that she can get quite deep. If we met in real life she'd be someone I'd be kind of scared of but lowkey look up to from afar until one day she lets me pet her dog and we become besties that text each other dog pics.

Amber and Dylan?: I really like the positive effect their relationship has on both of them. Amber (as can be seen from the blurb) is the type who bottles up her feelings and pretends to not care but actually cares a lot and somehow easily manages to be not unpopular, perhaps because of the careful measures she has taken to not go against the flow. And after Dylan comes along and brings out her emotions that she doesn't want, she becomes a bit unhappier at first but eventually starts getting the courage to do and think and feel things, and throwing that drink at Gracie is like that critical point when she realizes "to hell with it, man, having emotions is so fun" lol. I love how the chapter ends with the two of them running off to "their lighthouse". That's like one of the most beautiful phrases ever because who doesn't want a lighthouse they can share with only one other person? I know I want one ;__;

Anyway, this was a great read and I enjoyed the journey! Also, the color tones on the cover are great, that's the exact palette I would use for this story. I wish there were a lighthouse on it though XD

Network with this winner: mamoritai

1st runner up: AhsokaJackson

2nd runner up: Tie ktflynn and GirlsCanRockToo

Final Author's Note: Final Author's Note - A big hug and thanks to everyone who took the time to read my story and leave such lovely reviews! You guys made it nearly impossible for me to choose a winner and runners-up! I chose @mamoritai as the winner because of the understanding that they showed of Dylan and Amber, which is mainly what I wanted to know from the readers' perspectives. The runners-up had good suggestions that I appreciate very much.

There were so many reviewers who came SO close to winning or being chosen as a runner-up! I just want to mention them as a special thank you for their brilliant efforts. Thank you so much, miss_nebula, swiftiegirl1010, TimothyMarsh, VeilofPetals, infinitysbeyond, Arasia_Valentia, Tegan1311, yayathesailor, xtoverus, AyushiPandey, consciousdreamer1, PackerBacker2, Amara_Noels, dvberkom, MissMariex3, Victoria_Brooks, KurokageJS, Eye-Spy, _cmturner_, Pisaster_Ochraceus, and theemmpress for your incredible comments. Many of you have taken the effort to read the entire story, which is just such a wonderful and unexpected thing to do! Thank you once again. <3

I enjoyed this week as much as I'd enjoyed being spotlighted the very first time, if not more! Thank you to everyone at #NBR for making this contest possible. I couldn't be happier to be a participant and a part of the Board of Directors of this wonderful community. :)

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Author #2: Avaadore22

Book Title: The Furies of Lethra

Spotlight Chapter: Chapter 1

Summary: N/A

Author's Note: I'm so excited to make it to the spotlight. After only a couple months of being a part of NBR, I have already learned so much through the other wonderful members. Thanks to all of you for being so thorough, friendly, and honest! :-)

1. Description is something I try to focus on since I am a very visual person. Do you think that there is enough/not enough/too much in regards to environmental details and character features?

2. Pacing--I have a terrible time trying to make sure events and interactions aren't occurring too fast or too slow. Are there any areas that I need to focus on (slowing it down or speeding it up)?

3. Finally, I have been wondering whether or not this chapter (being the first chapter) is something that draws a reader in and wants them to read on. Does this chapter interest you and make you want to continue?

As always, I'm always open for alternative ideas regarding my syntax. I love seeing the different ways to word even just one sentence! Thank you all for reading!

Genre: Fantasy

Rating: PG

Winning Comment: Hi! We're so excited to read and review your chapter; your story name sounds so cool. :)

Grammarly Things (Things we jot down as we read your chapter, so they're in order):

>The first sentence in your first paragraph...you use the word 'sketches.' We weren't quite sure what this meant at first, and maybe you could use another word to clearly describe what you're trying to write? Your prose ROCKS, by the way.

>Should there be a comma here? : "You need to do it (,) Erin."

>By the fourth paragraph, we get the feeling that the two characters introduced so far, Erin and Tara, are standing on a cliff. This was inferred after you wrote, "Tara said, still keeping a watchful eye on the handful of candles burning on the windowsills below them." In order to avoid invoking confusion, we suggest putting somewhere in your first paragraph about the characters standing on a cliff, or giving some description as to WHERE they are standing, and that way the phrase, "burning in windowsills below them" flows a bit better in the story as a whole.

>"No one chooses this Erin..you know that." You have two periods in that sentence there.

>"Erin walked behind her (,) amazing at how graceful Tara made every step she took, while personally tripping over every bump she came across." Two things here: One, we added a comma after the word 'her,' and two, the second half of this sentence doesn't make sense. When you say, "While personally tripping over every bump she came across," were you talking about Tara or Erin? We'd expect you to be talking about Erin, and if this is the case, maybe you could cut this sentence off at the word "took" and then make a completely new one with something worded like, "Erin personally tripped over every bump that she came across."

>"Tara paused suddenly and looked to Erin(,) whose body was sideways along a sheer drop(.)" We added a comma and a period instead of a semi-colon here, because it seems to flow better. However, we suggest you word this sentence differently because we don't see clearly what you're trying to show. The sentence is just a bit awkwardly phrased. (It's okay, we do this all the time). Try this instead? "Tara paused suddenly and looked to Erin, whose body was resting on its side at the edge of a sheer dropoff of the cliff they were on."

>"Tara tip toed to the gate to release the hatch, but before she got the chance to walk through(,) she..." We just added a comma at the word 'through' to stop it from feeling like a run-on sentence.

>"...the sound of a loud snore coming from the man lightly gripping the sword..." Lightly has a connotation of holding with ease. Gripping has a connotation of holding with a harsh grip. Consider changing the syntax 'lightly gripping' with something like, 'lightly holding,' since when you grip something you most definitely don't hold on lightly. Like, you don't grip a butterfly wing, but you'd grip a ledge if you were about to fall forty feet. Does that make sense?

>"...who had taken residence next to the man with a spear(.) His breaths were slow and even almost in unison..." We replaced the semi colon you had in this sentence with a period and made the second part of that sentence a new one because the semi colon didn't seem right in the context you had it in.

>"Market Street was one long line of boarded up and empty carts resting like their owners, preparing for a busy following day." For this one, you had the word 'and' after the word 'owners' and we felt it wasn't needed there.

>"Tara stopped dead in front of a small tailor shop searching for any small crack or crevice to get inside." You left the word 'a' out of this sentence and we added it. It goes between 'of' and 'small.

> ' "How can you be sure?" Erin asked....surveying the area with a look of discomfort,"there are..." There should be a space after the word discomfort, where the dialogue starts back up again.

>Really awesome ending, friend! :)

Do we think your description is too much/no t enough/enough in regards to environmental details and character features?

     To us, all of your description fit and was put together nicely. This is one aspect when describing things throughout a story that's needed, and we think HOW is makes sense and HOW it's put together accents the writer's style.

     We saw that you had two types of description in your story here: Environmental and character features. We felt as though there was a nice, even balance here, and you did a good job of using character aspects and the environment to couple up, therefore having quite a nice evenness going on there.

     One of the things we would suggest for your description is to be really specific with what your talking about and detail it out crisply, for some things maybe in one or two sentences. Like when Erin was "sideways along the side of a sheer drop" we found that to be a little vague. Ask yourself questions like, "What color is that sheer drop in the night?" 'The night' part of that sentence is what makes the specificness. It wouldn't be gray in the night, but rather a plum like color because it's in the night. Make the big things really crisp and specific, and you'll find that you'll have an even better balance between the larger parts that need to be described and the smaller parts that need to be details. The moral? Describe the bigger things specifically, and you'll find that as you write the balance will naturally come to you.

Pay close attention to hands. You do a great job of this, but it's actually something we just learned we feel the need to bring it up...maybe for some future reference and for some smaller parts in this chapter. While the character may be emotionally present, they may not be physically there. In order to bring yourself back to their physical aspects, write about where the character's hands are. There are little chinks in your chapter that the characters are emotionally there but we don't see them physically, and you c

an always add a sentence here and there about, "Erin's hands tapped an anxious rhythm," or "Tara's hands felt cold in the night." Surprisingly, this will bring the reader to back out of their emotional minds and they'll be able to better visualize what Erin and Tara are doing instead of what they're thinking. Like we said before, you did a great job of this throughout the bigger parts of the chapter, but look for those little chinks and cracks where you see that.

     You want to avoid run-on sentences, because these translate to clumps of description (and when you think about it, clumps can be bad things with anything, not just writing...clumps of hair...clumps of odd mystery in food...clumps of--we're getting off topic, sorry :)) The point is, you don't want clumps in your story. In order to avoid this, avoid run-on sentences. There were a few sentences in your chapter with a run-on sentence, and like us, you have the tendency to be a bit wordy when it comes to. It's something that we're constantly working on--and you know how to avoid run-ons and wordiness? Reading out loud! It's like our favorite thing ever because it helps with so many problems!

Reading aloud catches where you think commas should go and where they need to be omitted. For this excercise, you don't have to read your story aloud...read other books! Listen to how they sound on your lips, how other authors write their sentence, and in turn your brain will transmit those and the feel of them, the sound of those sentences will ring through your head as and when you write so then you won't have as many run-on sentences. Run-ons usually happen when we don't want short-clipped sentences and we just keep writing, writing, writing, by how we want the sentence to sound. Sometimes this can result in run on sentences and clumps of detail that you don't want, and so, after you get the sound of sentences are in other books, you'll use that sentence structure. (Kind of like if you watch a horror  movie about clowns right before you go to bed and then you fall asleep and have a nightmare about clowns is how that whole thing works...) Then, as your sentences get shorter, your detail will be less clumped together! Wow, we hope that made sense! :)

     But we are in LOVE with your prose! It rocks! You've got talent here, and we love your writing style! :)

Pacing---are there any areas that you need to slow down/speed up?

     Well with pacing, we thought you did an excellent job. Certainly for a first chapter you want a nice, quick pace, especially when the characters are on the move. The only thing that made the pace seem even the slightest bit slow was that we didn't seem to find any tension-building where you might have wanted there to be tension.

For example, when Erin fell off that ledge and Tara grabbed her, it was "strictly written" which is our term for it was written without any tension woven in through the story. We know the story is written in both POVs of Tara and Erin, or so it seemed, so let's take a look at how we can find an even balance between Tara's strictness and Erin's clumsiness that couples well with tension building:

     → Play around with words. And we mean this literally. The four of us are very visual too...as a matter of fact Stephanie is Synesthetic, meaning she sees colors for every letter, word, person, month, day, and things like that. Play with words. We suggest writing. Shorter. Sentences. Or italicizing the ones that you feel should be emphasized, or even s y this, and emotions will really bring forth the tension.

→ Towards the end of the chapter, we suggest using darker words (words with darker connotations) to really invoke the pacing. We suggest slowing that part down just so your readers aren't like, "wait, what just happened?" (In terms of the story was going so fast towards the end.)

So what we've concluded is to keep that chapter fast all the way up until the end, then tension build and this in turn will give you just the right amount of pacing you want (when Erin brought the sword down on that man). And also, cutting off your run-on sentences will help with the pacing not being TOO fast. We love where the plotline is going and you did a great job describing your characters, to the point where it doesn't affect the pacing! AWESOME job on that, friend! :)

Does this chapter interest us and make us want to read more?

     It does, really. There were moments that you had us on the edge of our seats and moments that we wanted to know more. Your descriptions put is into the story, and we could feel what these two girls were doing and where they were. We like how you didn't add any backstory, because it adds to the mystery and the fierceness. We're really excited to see what takes place in this story! :) We're really glad we got to read your chapter :)

Comment Topic: (The Setup of the scene)

You set up everything nicely. We could smell the smells, smell the scents you described, and the hear the things that the characters were hearing. Again, remember adding in emotion inside of your characters as well as a lot of physical aspects so that we can clearly sense, feel, and see your CHARACTERS, and not just the climactic and environmental parts of your story. But other than that, we really liked your set up...you put a great twist on your words that just draws the reader in and we love that. A lot of our details about the setup of the scene are up top in the 'Grammarly Things' section, but as an o(thank you so much for reading through all this and this is the last one! :))

Overall, you did an awesome, awesome job. Honestly, great job.

Thank you so much for reading through this long review! We hope we were able to help and encourage you on this chapter! You have a beautiful writing style and we're so excited for you and your story.

Network with this winner: GirlsCanRockToo

1st runner up: Tegan1311

2nd runner up: theemmpress

*For the runners up, I really appreciated the inline comments you left. They were extremely helpful and will be taken into account for my first revision. Thank you guys so much again!

Final Author's Note: I've learned so much from all the thoughtful critiques, and I am so grateful to everyone taking the time to read. I hope that for the rounds that follow I can come even close to being so thorough. I would also like to thank everyone not into my genre who stuck it out and tried their hardest to get through it >.< I know the struggle is real. I'm looking forward to having some direction towards my first revision after this experience. Thank you all again so very much!

<3 Ava A.

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Author #3: Victoria_Brooks

Book Title: Secrets of a Pirate's Heart

Specified Chapter: Chapter One

Summary: N/A

Author's Note: Hello everyone! I've been eagerly awaiting my turn for the spotlight, and I'm really excited to read what you all have to say about my chapter. A quick thank you to Dawn and the NBR team for keeping this contest going and for inviting me to join! Here are my questions:

1) Do you like my overall writing style/voice and use of descriptions?

2) Is there too much or too little background story, and do you feel you have a good idea of the characters, especially Scarlett?

3) Do you find the story interesting for the first chapter and did it hook you enough to read further?

Also, if there's any extra things you want to point out, such as grammar, please feel free to do so. Thank you!

Genre: Historical Fiction

Rating: PG

Winning Comment: We're so excited to check out your story! Awesome title and cover, by the way :)

Grammarly Things: (These we jot down as we read, so they'll be in order):

>"George was the loving, joyous type of father(---)the kind who would do anything for his children's happiness." We replaced your semicolon with a hyphen because is seems more grammatically correct.

>Your prose rocks. :)

>Maybe instead of outright telling us who the parents are: "Catheryn was the type of mother who..." "George was the type of father..." You could weave in the details about them. The fact that Catheryn saw the pirate tales as unrealistic is a characterization type. Before you say, "Catheryn was the type of mother who..." we could visually see and hear that because you showed it to us, therefore the statement isn't needed. :)

>We love how your dialogue reflects what time period this is in. :)

>The paragraph that starts with, "Startling the family, the door burst open suddenly..." Since this is a transitional phrase, it sounds a bit awkward sped up, so maybe you could slow down the pace just a bit. Consider saying something like "When a sudden whoosh from the front door opening came in from outside, George and Catheryn looked up from their tasks as a rush of bitter air swept into the cottage."

>In paragraph 8, we have a feeling that Cathryn's wording whilst talking to Scarlett is a bit awkwardly phrased. The only reason is because there are a lot of exclamation points. We'd suggest refining your exclamation points to a minimum and saying something like, "I'm so glad you're home! I've had so much to do lately---with Joseph's schooling, your father's shirts that need mending, the garden that needs to be raked---never mind the fact that I haven't even started dinner..."

>You have awesome characterization techniques :)

>"The following morning, Scarlett awoke to see her bedroom window open and assumed her mother had opened it for fresh air." Two things here: T H I N G 1: We removed the comma between the word 'open' and 'and' because it isn't needed. T H I N G 2 (We're starting to sound like Dr. Seuss now, aren't we?): You used the word open twice. It sounds a little repetitive, so consider rewriting to something of another word.

>ARGHHH your tension is AWESOME and we knew something bad was going to happen! (Sorry for the outburst. Alison kept repeating, "Something bad's gonna happen, something bad's gonna happen to Scarlett, something bad's gonna happen....) Then we had to read on to your next chapter to find out what Scarlett saw! :) Really cool chapter :)

Do we like your overall writing style/use of descriptions?

Yes, we do. We liked how you weaved in characterization techniques and how you built enough backstory for us to get to know the character. We really loved the way everything was set up and built-upon, too.

One of the suggestions we have for you is to try to cut out some of the commas. There seemed to be a lot through there and sometimes it disrupted the story flow. A good trick to keep in mind is that typically, after the word "and" there doesn't need to be a comma.

Another thing we would suggest is to be specific with your description. Crisp, clear descriptions go a long way and it's certainly something to keep in mind. We love your prose, and we'd suggest for you to take it and make the things you detail and describe (such as the pirates aboard the ship, George, the suitor, etc... ) them whilst you're describing what actions you're giving them. So like, WHILE you're writing about George speaking, you can describe what he looks like. For example, in a dialogue tag you could state he narrowed his bushy eyebrows or one side of his lips quirked upwards. It's a great way to diversify your already-awesome writing style.

Slowing the pace down just a bit might help when talking about writing style, mainly because when going fast those amazing prose words that you use can be overlooked. Otherwise, we seriously enjoyed reading about your prose, style, and work throughout the chapter. :)

Is there little or too much backstory in the chapter, and what do we think of the overall characters, especially Scarlett?

(This is just our opinion, remember :) )Guess what? There's no rule that says: YOU MUST HAVE AT LEAST FOUR HUNDRED AND THIRTY SEVEN WORDS OF BACKSTORY IN THE FIRST CHAPTER OF YOUR BOOK! No, people aren't gonna say that and there's no glowing silver WRITING RULES BOOK to quote that. Frankly, we've all agreed that it doesn't matter how much backstory you put into a chapter or whether or not it's good or bad or too much or too little, as long as the story is good (which, yours most definitely is a VERY good story, friend) and there again---it's your story. You're the one who gets to decide...you can start introducing backstory in Chapter 1,343 if you wanted and we wouldn't mind one big (that would be a really really long book if it had that many chapters) but you get our point :D. We liked the backstory you put into here. It showed the characters really well and you put it into all the right places. Backstories can be tricky, because writers never know how much of it to use. But when you're writing and revising this chapter, we want you to remember: Don't worry about how much backstory you have in a chapter---that's content of your book and the content of your book is up to you because YOU are the writer. :)

As for the overall characters, through the backstory and actions, we got to see them clearly. We had some characterization notes for you up above, and use those as you please, but yea, we liked your characters a lot. This was a short chapter and it seemed like it was third-person omnipotent, which was a really cool and unique view on such an interesting story line. Remember that you deepen the to a point where their thoughts are visible so that way the readers can SEE and really feel them. We'd suggest weaving in emotions...that usually "Scarlett felt scared," or "The pirates resounded in their satisfying glory." These bits and pieces may help you. But yes---we did really love your characters and we loved the way that the mother, father, brothers and sisters and Scarlett all seem like a really awesome family. They actually reminded us of a friend that the lot of us have who has eight brothers and sisters, and loving parents, and the girl is so sweet. It's also awesome that you reminded us that through your story and chapters---you're a very clever writer there, you are.

Does this chapter hook us so that we would read farther?

Yes---and we'll list the reasons why so you can know for the future:

.You used shorter sentences towards the end to tighten the tension.

. The story was fast-paced and a really fun read.

. That anticipation that held us.

. That you used the sentence "Scarlett couldn't believe her eyes" which made us click on the next chapter.

.Your tension building tactics were phenomenal.

So those were a few of the reasons that we would keep reading. It was a really fun read, although we would suggest that you create a more specific detailed part towards the beginning about the family life that Scarlett lives in. Your story had that classy storytale ring with a dash of historical fiction that we really love, and you built upon the plot very well (more in that in the CT.) Remember to keep being specific with your descriptions, creating emotions inside your characters, and to keep writing---always! :)

Comment Topic: Scene Set-up:

We absolutely loved the way you set up the chapter. There was a ring of fairytale with it, and we found ourselves believe that this was written as omnipotent in which, for a fairytale, is quite a good, well-developed idea to use. We were reading a list on scenes in fictional writing on the WritersDigest website, and here are some of the things we think could apply to your chapter scene set-up (put in ou

>M A K E your writing explode; make your writing explode with big surprising actions. Instead of blending where the pirates grabbed Scarlett into the rest of the story, make it pop, because that's a scene you really want to pop. You could say something like, "There was a sudden crash that exploded through the tense air as two gruff pirates... " Words like CRASH, BANG, and EXPLODE are words that'll really make your words explode.

>R E F L E C T the character's thoughts and emotion through an action. For example, instead of saying, "Horror filled Judah. He lifted his eyes. The queen's smile was cunning," try "Judah lifted his horror-filled eyes at the queen's cunning smile."

>T A K E your scenery and use it for tones.You did a really good job of this with the homey feel in the cottage Scarlett lives in; now use words with connotations of homey feeling, such as classic, warmth, candle-lit, etc...

Oh, and here's the link so we can cite where we got those ideas from and if you want to look at it you can :) It's a really cool article and it helped us a lot in our writing, too :) :http://www.writersdigest.com/whats-new/10-ways-to-launch-strong-scenes

Yes, you have an awesome storyline going for your story here and we're so excited to see what will happen here. Thank you so much for reading our tips, suggestions, reviews, and comments. Best of luck to you and your story and remember to

---K E E P O N W R I T I N G!---♥

---Stephanie, Rachel, Alison, & Clary

Network with this winner: GirlsCanRockToo

1st runner up: The3dreamers

2nd runner up: LaurynHarvis

Final Author's Note: Hey everyone! It has been such a crazy and busy week during my spotlight round! I received so many comments that were helpful in various ways, from constructive criticism to personal opinions, and I had a hard time narrowing them down to pick the winners. Thanks to everyone who commented! I tried my best to keep up and reply to every review, but if I happened to miss any, I want you to be sure I still appreciate your comments.

I chose the winning comment because I love the enthusiasm these girls felt for my story and the encouragement their comments gave me. They made me want to work on my story right then! For 1st runner up, Amber gave me some very helpful and interesting tips about punctuation that I'll use while editing. And for 2nd runner up, Lauryn was encouraging and made me want to work hard to make my story enjoyable, maybe even aiming for publication :)

For a final note, I wrote Chapter One of Secrets of a Pirate's Heart about 3 years ago, and I read a lot of reviews that all focused on the same issues. I realize these have a lot to do with the lack of experience I had when I began this story, as well as a vague direction of its plot (I was such a pantster then). However, I have definitely grown in my writing (and Wattpad) since then, but this was a good experience to let me know what works and what doesn't in this chapter, and eventually the rest of my writing. I know I have a lot of work ahead of me to make my story better and to continue improving. So in conclusion of my note, thanks to everyone for their ideas and opinions and letting me see my story through the reader's eyes for a week!

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Remember: DIPLOMACY is defined as: the art of dealing with people in a sensitive and effective way

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Remember: #NBR then write the comment.

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