UNNOTICED

「fluff」 「little space」

top!jaehyun
bottom!johnny

[in which johnny sees jaehyun's busy schedule as negligence towards him, and only has one other guy who understands his stress...perhaps awakening his lover to how lonely he really felt]

requested by: @ST_An_ENhy_pEN_HoeS

"ah, you're back!" johnny grinned as jaehyun waltzed into their shared bedroom with an exhausted demeanour and eyes that appeared to have seen the world die and be reborn. "how was work?"

"it was fine, angel," he murmured, dropping his keys onto the nightstand beside his lover and pulling his jacket off. "sorry i'm so late. did you make yourself some dinner?"

"mhm...earlier."

"that's good. what did you do while i was out?" they tended to repeat this same, tedious conversation each evening around similar times...and it never particularly changed. this crazy schedule the younger had been working through had lasted three months so far (after a promotion), and the korean-american was starting wonder why he was being so neglected. did work have a higher place on jaehyun's podium of significance than he did? or was he simply drifting away and losing interest?

johnny was certain neither were true, but he had a smattering of doubt. it brought him unease, and lately...his method of comfort had been coming out more and more frequently.

"are you free this weekend?" the taller eventually enquired after giving the other a run-down of what his day had consisted of. "we could go out—"

"i'm so sorry, baby," jaehyun pouted softly and pulled on a loose t-shirt over a pair of shorts before crawling into bed beside him. "i have to interview this girl who'll hopefully be taking over from this other lady we had to let go. i'm not even a manager, and they keep lumping me with all these stupid tasks. the boss says i'm due another promotion though, and that would be nice."

"but what about our time together? wouldn't it be even more minuscule if you were ranked higher? i'm getting lonely, jae."

"johnny..." the younger hummed, cupping his cheek as they lay facing one another, and gliding his thumb over the man's beautifully sculpted lips. "i try to balance everything, don't i? i'm doing my level best to keep us together in a healthy, safe home...to buy you the things you want and deserve. i keep requesting time off that i shouldn't have, and yet i still never have the days and days i wish to spend with you. it's hard...i know."

"it's different for me though," the older defended. "you don't need me like i need you. i can't work in stressful environments like you, i can't earn the money you do, and i can't relate to your efforts at all. i'm stuck in a shopkeeping position where my brain won't melt and my nerves won't spike. one slip into my space, and i'm fucked. people don't..." he paused, looking away at the ceiling and rolling onto his back. "people don't see that behaviour and think 'oh well'. they point fingers and think 'wow, a weirdo'."

"it's you who let's them get to you, though."

"yeah, well once you've had your head pushed under water a few times too many, you start to fear the tide. i'm hiding a horrible secret, and there's only two people who don't take advantage of that knowledge."

"johnny, i'm sorry. it's not a horrible secret, it's a beautiful one and i love you regardless of public opinions. i'll... i'll try to find a day off."

"it's fine...i'm okay. i get how you're struggling as well, i just..." he blinked wearily and ran his tongue over his lower lip in thought, "i just wish we were the same as back in school. y'know, with the guys and the fun. no jobs or drama, just idiocy and games. i wonder what they all went on to do."

"you'd never know with them. they always managed to surprise us," jaehyun smiled faintly as he eyed the male's profile. then, he extended his warm hand forward again and played with the other's fringe. "if you want, you can slip. you're stressed, aren't you?"

"you have a long day tomorrow."

"i'll deal with it. c'mon, angel. relax."

johnny arched his brow and glanced to his boyfriend, still feeling that pinch of sadness prick his heart, but appreciating this time he had with him anyway. and like that, he slid into his space...seeking comfort in blissful ignorance. the world fell into a haze...

and then got brighter.

"work, work, work," the brunette complained as he sat up to the island and messily ate a jam sandwich mark had made for him at the younger's apartment. the following morning, jaehyun was gone...leading johnny to come back to where he was looked after. the blue-haired adult at the sink, washing up the utensils, turned to him with a sad smile and shook his head.

"kiddo, there's not a lot you can do. he's a busy man, and he does it all for you, hm?"

"he should stay home all day everyday."

"and how would he pay for stuff then?"

"money."

"what money? he couldn't work."

"the money he always has." 

yeah, there's no point in explaining economics to a six-year-old. "guess you're right." mark dried his hands and wandered around the island to grab the older's (though mentally younger's) hand and guide him to the living area to finish his sandwich in front of the television.

the short enough man was basically the designated babysitter. he was one of the original friends in their high school group, and stuck around since he cared too much about johnny and his well-being. there was absolutely no romance between them, merely a brotherly bond that jaehyun trusted with his life...and both shared their worries and concerns for the oldest.

"should we watch some 'spongebob'?" he asked quietly, using the remote to flick from station to station. he honestly found it hard at times to cope with the regressions when they weren't planned for or predictable, and tv usually fixed a lot of their issues. he was prepared for raising a grown child when he had to, but there was a bit of skill and patience involved. today, johnny just knocked on his door in tears and that was that. no explanation other than 'jae doesn't love me'.

god, jaehyun, he thought, sitting back in his seat and glancing to the male watching the screen happily, what are you doing? he didn't want to butt in. that just wasn't his place...but he needed to say something. something along the lines of 'stop acting like his guardian and more like his boyfriend'. he was happy to be a glorified minder...but there was a certain love he couldn't provide, and johnny was probably deprived of it now.

"seonny," he hummed, that nickname being one the three of them had concocted together during one of the little's past birthdays. "do you know when jaehyun's gonna be home? when should i drop you off?"

"m'not sure," he sighed and started chewing at his nails.

"don't bite your fingers," mark gushed and reached out to pull them down from his mouth. "you'll hurt them."

jaehyun tapped his index finger off the steering wheel as he pulled into his best friend's estate and drove quietly towards the semi-detached house to the left. it was already eleven at night, and he regretted accepting the extra hours when sometimes the money wasn't worth it. he felt like such a dick for making too many empty promises, and he wasn't sure how or when he could make it up to his longtime lover.

mark's lights were off, which made him worry. had they already gone to sleep? had johnny regressed while he was out? why was he fucking up his life balance so badly?

getting out, he locked the door and jogged towards the front door. before he could knock, however, the frame was yanked open and there stood a tired and grumpy looking korean-canadian.

"inside. now," the bluette hissed.

"i'm so sorry," jaehyun whispered and wandered past him, standing in the hallway and wearing a pitifully sheepish expression. the darkness was welcome for once — shadowing their less-than-elated expressions. "is he upstairs?"

"no, no let's start with why you're here at," the other checked his watch, "twenty past eleven in the night?!"

"shhh, i know. i'm sorry."

"apologies are useless when they're constant. if you were genuinely sorry about it, it wouldn't happen four to five times a week, would it?"

"mark, you know i'm figuring this out too," the brunette grumbled. "i...i don't know what i'm doing. i don't know...how to fix this."

"start with prioritising. what's most important to you?"

"johnny, obviously."

"then why is he sitting on the bench while your job is on the field?"

jaehyun blinked in surprise, throwing his arms up in exasperation and massaging his temples frustratedly. "i'm trying to help him. nothing in life is for free, and i'm learning that the hard way."

"look, i know," mark uttered softly and placed his hands on the man's shoulders. "he can't work for enough, and you're pulling your house and expenses together on your own...but sometimes taking a leap of faith is more important. downgrade, change jobs, spend less on nice things and settle for normal stuff. it's weird, cheap, and maybe doesn't sound appealing at first...but if i could go back in time, i'd have done it too. i'd still have my boyfriend and we'd have lived in a shitty house but with each other, eating crappy takeaway on a sofa together, and spending our birthdays and anniversaries on our front yard with one another. i should've sacrificed everything else for him."

"hyuck was a good one...that i'll give you."

"and so is johnny. don't fuck this up based on frivolous luxuries like eating out and holidays."

but i want to show him the world, was all the older could think. he wanted everything for them, and it was so damn difficult. but his friend had a point, and there was no way that things could stay the way they were.

so, with a small plan in mind which seemed all too reckless...he set onwards towards the stairs, having mark hiss quietly at him to explain what was happening. all the money he'd accumulated so far had to be used at some stage, and this little idea seemed like a great one on the spur of the moment.

"dude, don't wake him. just stay the night," the younger begged whilst tugging at the male's sleeve and halting him in front of the guest room's closed door. "he might still be little?"

"i know," jaehyun hummed. he knew all too well how irregular these patterns were for johnny, and how one could last a day while another an entire week. it depended on the level of stress. and inwardly, he was a little jealous that his boyfriend always ended up here instead of running to him to talk it out. "i want to go away for a while. maybe two or three weeks..."

"jae."

"we should do it, shouldn't we? one last hurrah before settling down and mending our lives and schedule."

mark blinked once in thought, letting the sleeve go and placing his hands on his hips. "it does sound fun. but will you really be able to give up your success? are you ready for that?"

"i'm ready for him," was all he could respond. "and to be honest, you're getting wiser than me by the day. so, maybe before i bring up this plan..." he smiled faintly, "we could watch a film. i need to apologise properly for being so absent."

"man, where's this boldness and recklessness coming from? i mean, i love it," the bluette smirked, "but it's so strange on you. i'm excited to see the fruits of your efforts."

"and i want you to be there when they grow. you're so important to us," jaehyun nudged his friend's shoulder. "and i feel like you have some mending of your own to do, hm? maybe a single text to get a coffee~"

"dude, he won't—"

"it was a year ago. if he's still bitter, then maybe it's a match made in hell. just...give it another chance? for me, at least? i liked him with you."

"ugh, fuck off," mark moaned and wandered past him to give the guy some space. "whatever. i blame you in advance for this not working."

and i thank me in advance for getting your happiness back, he thought fondly, and with that proceeded to push into the bedroom. it was dimly lit by a lamp, and johnny was sound asleep with a teddy in his grasp and pyjamas covering his arms. his hazel-brown hair was fanned out over his forehead and pillow, illuminated by the brilliant amber hue and helping him to appear more ethereal than he already did.

"seonny," jaehyun whispered, carefully creaking over the floorboards towards him and sitting down onto the mattress. it sunk under his added weight, which caused his lover to stir into a state of bleary consciousness.

"mhm..." was the initial sound he managed, before "markie?"

"no, it's me, baby."

the older squeezed his eyes shut and fluttered them open repetitively to disperse the sleep in them, and finally settled with the adjustment to the light. "jae? what time is it?"

"it's nearly twelve."

"don't be mad. i wasn't up late—"

"i'm not mad, lovely. i actually came up here to apologise. i'm so sorry for leaving you this morning, and for coming home late last night. but more than that, for doing this all the time...you deserve better."

"jaehyun, m'not grumpy." he clutched his stuffed bear even tighter against his chest and buried his lower face in it. actually, if memory served correctly, donghyuck had bought johnny that teddy a couple of years ago during a trip he and mark had set on to england. it had the british flag stitched into its little cardigan, and the shorter supposed it remained in this room for the little since mark never wanted to part with it either. "but are you free tomorrow then? we should get ice-cream."

"definitely. we'll get ice-cream, and watch a movie, and play some basketball in the park. and better yet, i want to go on holidays with you...somewhere different. maybe the philippines, or india or russia since we usually see america."

"seriously?" the male wormed up a little to visibly pinch his wrist, scrunching his nose dissatisfactorily at the small burn it brought. "am i going to wake up soon?"

the fact that you can't believe this is exactly why i need to do this, jaehyun realised. he should've never let work and income get the best of him or dictate his happiness. it had gotten too far beyond 'for johnny' and into a dangerous red zone of blindness. "you're awake, seonny. and tomorrow, hopefully i will be too. mark is right...we need to fill in the hole i've dug over the past couple of years."

the childlike adult smiled faintly and sat up properly, unaware of his body size and mass while in this state and happily crawling over to sit on his boyfriend's lap while facing him. johnny's warm arms encompassed jaehyun's neck and he buried his face into the nice-scented alcove of his shoulder. lavender and twilight...an incredible smell.

the younger kissed his cheek lovingly before resting his nose there too and enjoying this moment. "can i hop into bed with you? is there enough room?"

"there's always enough room..." johnny whispered into his body, not moving an inch regardless. the pyjamas smelt of body wash from the shower, and his hair seemed to be only slightly damp. an adorable thought.

as the shorter slowly slid the little down into a lying position and quickly rid himself of his jacket and trousers, he too got in beside him and acted as the big spoon to promise warmth and protection to his boyfriend during the night. "love you, angel."

"mhm," the taller gushed quietly while playing with the other's hands laced across his own tummy. "i love you too."

i won't lose you to a silly mistake like work.

word count: [2728]

hey guys, this one was much quicker to do. i hope it wasn't too short or anything — just a fluffy dose.

i also hope that this was somewhat like what you were looking for, or something everyone enjoyed. thanks for the request.

stay safe!
-lily