This is probably going to sound strange. Maybe people who have studied psychology will tell me that I went about solving my problems the wrong way.

      But the day I let myself catastrophize, the day I let myself envision the worst case scenario, is the same day I began to learn how to manage my stress.

      When faced with stressful situations, were often given or give ourselves words of reassurances. We're told to look on the bright side and believe that everything will go well. We use these sometimes empty promises to try to ease our worries and stress.

      I did this for a long time.

      As a child and teenager, any kind of social situation caused me immense anxiety. Oral presentation, for starters, were my worst nightmares. I over-prepared everytime. I'm still convinced that the hours I spent preparing doubled that of my peers. I wanted to make sure that I left no room for errors. And the idea of aiming for perfection, was often my downfall.

       My parents and friends would reassure me beforehand. Everything will go well, they'd say. You know your material and you've practiced about a hundred times. And I did. I practiced so much, that I knew my materail word for word. I could recite it in my sleep. Every time I'd think about the upcoming presentation, I repeated these words also. It's going to go well. You have no reason to be stressed.

       Those internal thoughts didn't change the fact that I was very much still stressed.

       And that's when I realized, that part of my stress rested in the idea that I wouldn't know how to react if things didn't go as planned. Because I didn't let myself think of the possibility that everything could go wrong.

       Let yourself acknowledge that things might not go as planned. Our reaction to our mistakes and disappointment is an important factor to the trajectory of our self-growth.

        I imagined what to me was the worst case scenario: My face would turn bright red (per my usual). I'd forget every single word I meant to present. I would freeze in front of my peers, and everyone would laugh. I'd get zero marks, because I'd run away in shame. My peers would think I was stupid.

       I listed all the bag things I could imagine. It may not sound like, but by saying this I'm not suggesting that we all become pessimists.

       I consider myself an optimistic person. My family and friends know me to be the optimistic one. I like positivity and looking on the bright side. But I was using these qualities to ignore my insecurities and fears.

       In a previous post, I wrote about how we can't solve problems if they're not acknowledged. In the same way, I couldn't easy my worries about the presentation, because I wasn't acknowledging them.

       After I catastrophized about the presentation, I tried to counter the bad thoughts I had listed, and imagined what would happen after their occurence. If I forgot my words, I reminded myself that I had cue-cards to help guide me. I had friends that would ask questions and help me get back on track. Even if I stumbled on my words, I'd get points for participation. And even if I received a bad grade, it wouldn't be enough to fail the class.

       Somethings I couldn't change. I couldn't stop the way I blush easily. I couldn't control my peers' judgement of me. These concerns weren't as easy to let go. But it helped me reflect on why I thought someone else's perception of me mattered. They could think I was stupid or useless. But at the end of the day, only I really knew the extent of my knowledge. And at the end of the day, my intelligence or success at school didn't make me any less of a good person.

       Nobody knows you, like you know yourself. And so, you're the only person in a position to be able to properly pose judgement.

       Castastrophizing helped me feel some relief, because it became clear, that it was very unlikely that the disaster I had envisioned would occur. And even if it did occur, it wasn't the end of the world. A bad presentation meant room for growth for the following one. It meant that I wasn't expected to be perfect.

      If something is causing you stress, let yourself imagine the reason for it. Let yourself imagine everything going wrong. Because only then can you work on finding solutions. It'll help you reflect on your priorities and values. And I think you will find that what made you anxious, doesn't hold as much power over your well-being and future, as you initially believed.