Ellas POV

A week had gone by since that conversation with Miki. I couldn't say I didn't push him away because I kind of did. I stopped going to the cafeteria for lunch. I try my best just to bring my own lunch and I'd go sit outside. Mae is questioning me but I wasn't sure what to tell her. I couldn't just tell her everything because I didn't think Miki wanted her to know. Ugh it just sucks...

Today I forgot my lunch, so Mae got me some from inside. I saw her coming over to me with two brown bags. I love that girl.

"Hey! I got our food!" I smiled at her and grabbed a bag. "Yetti and the twins should be here any second." I nodded and started digging in the bag. The other girls joined us and lunch flew by. After school I went home. I told Mae I'd call her later.

In my room, I laid in bed in my stitch jammies and read my book. All of a sudden my door opens. I didn't bother to look because no one was home but Jay.

"What do you want Jay?" I didn't get a response, that's what made me put the book down and look back. Who I saw I didn't expect. Miki.

"Why are you pushing me away?" He walked towards my bed and sat. "I told you not to ghost me. I told you if you didn't want me to kiss you I wouldn't. Why did you push me away?" I just looked down. Because I had no good answer.

I couldn't even look at him because I knew he was right. As much as he wanted me not to ghost him I did. Because everytime I see him all I want to do is hug him. Kiss him. Be with just him.

"It isn't fair El." That comment brought out an anger I didn't realize I had.

"Not fair!?" I shook my head trying not to just blow up. "Why are you here? Where is Jay? I thought you didn't want anyone to know." He shook his head as if in disbelief. Like how are you in disbelief?

"El... It's not li-" I interrupted him. I was pissed! How dare he try to say it isn't like that? He clearly stated he was part of the reason why we couldn't be anything yet.

"Then how the hell is it supposed to be Mikeal? You confess your feelings after I confessed mine. Yet you tell me you want to be with me but you can't because of aging! Which isn't even a huge damn gap! Your sister has known my feelings for you since before I told her. She knows I am in a funk and I can't be completely honest because you don't want them to know! Do you know how it feels to see the girl who hates you go after the one guy you've always liked?" I paused and I shook my head. I felt myself getting angrier. He said nothing so I continued.

"No you don't! But I have to sit here and see that. Every damn day. So yes I ghosted you! Because it hurts Mikeal! It hurts me! I can't just go to you when I have a tough day. I can't hug you. I can't kiss you. I can't do anything!" I shook my head and looked down, as I felt my eyes watering.

"El... Come here." I shook my head no. I don't want him to touch me. Because no matter what I would melt into him each time. Why did I have to like him? Why couldn't it just be anyone else. I was so deep in thought I didn't even realize when he came closer. He grabbed my chin, lifting my face towards him.

"El, I do like you. Way more than I think is healthy. I just don't know what Jay's reaction would be." I pushed his hand off of my chin frustrated.

"What should it matter? If you like me that much and I like you that much, why should he be the reason we can't try this out?" I shook my head.

"Just go Miki. I think it's just best if we stood away from each other aside from the usual. Don't come into my room when you get the chance. Don't walk me home. Don't touch me if it isn't necessary. Lastly Do not ki-" I didn't get to finish that because there he went and did exactly what I was trying to say. He freaking kissed me! But to make things worse I kissed him back. But then I pushed him away.

"Don't." I got up and left my room and went straight into the bathroom. Slid down the door in silent sobs.