Cassandra

After James had left me standing on the school stairs feeling like a total jerk and a complete idiot I was certain my day could only get worse.

...

Until I remembered I had chemistry that morning.

'Andrew would cheer me up. He always knows how to, even when he doesn't realize it.' I thought to my soaking wet self as I headed down the hall in the direction of my chemistry class. I was drenched in rainwater and had to be careful whenever I turned a corner so I wouldn't run into James accidentally, my paranoia running on overdrive. I don't think he'll want to see me for a while.

As I thought about Andrew my mind drifted to we would become of us. Sure, I might have broken up with James but Andrew was still with Victoria. There was no way I could have him with her still in the picture.

The mean dark and twisted part of me hissed back. 'What do you mean have him? You barely even deserve him! What do you think people will say when they hear about how fast you moved on from James onto Andrew? They'll think you're a terrible person that's what!'

My heart sank a little bit because I knew that there was some truth in that statement.

I reached the door and was about to turn the knob when someone turned me around from behind and planted a light, sweet, innocent kiss on my lips. I recognized who it was immediately.

The last time I had a kiss that was as soft and warm and passionate as the one I was getting now was last night. So it must've been Andrew. And as much as I would have loved to stand there and kiss him until the cows came home, I knew I couldn't so I reluctantly pulled away.

Andrew let out a disappointed hum but I shushed him softly, all the while playing with his many blonde curls, a newfound habit of mine.

"You can't just go kissing me anytime you like, you know?" I half scolded him. He flashed me a cheeky, adorable crooked smile in return.

"And why is that, hm?" He asked, mischief evident in his voice. I twisted the ends of my own hair nervously. "Because everyone still thinks you're dating Victoria." I paused, then continued. "And the fact that you are indeed still dating Victoria," I muttered, disappointment laced in my tone.

But Andrew only smiled wider at me. "Not for long!" He beamed. I was slightly surprised at his reaction. I didn't expect him to be so happy about a breakup with someone he had been dating for so long. I thought he actually loved her. I guess I was wrong.

My eyes widened in disbelief. "Seriously??? You broke up with her? And you're still alive?? Well, what happened?" Andrew laughed.

"I haven't broken up with her yet but trust me, by the time today is over, I and Victoria will be done with forever."

He stepped closer to me and said in a low husky voice almost whispering in my ear "then I can kiss you all I want." The feeling of his hot breath against my skin sent shivers down my spine. Ugh, it was so hot and I have no clue how I was able to keep my composure but I managed to do just that.

"Like I'd ever let you." I attempted to scoff at him but it came out as more of a squeak than anything else.

"I have my ways..." he started in the same husky voice that I loved so much and then, proceeded to set my skin on fire by kissing me just below my earlobe.

He kissed me from my ear to my jawline to even my neck. But every time he got close to my lips and I could feel the anticipation building up inside of me he would always drift away again leaving my excitement to dissolve into the dust. It drove me insane. Andrew was such a tease sometimes.

A soft moan escaped my lips and Andrew smirked at me. "Thought you said you could handle it." As he continued to suck and kiss and nip at the skin around my neck, slowly pushing me to the edge. My breaking point.

I moaned again. "I give up; you win, ok? Now kiss me. Please?" I didn't know how much more of this I could take. He thought for a moment before shaking his head at me. "It's much more fun to watch you squirm." And his arms snaked around my waist as he got comfortable.

I knew I couldn't let this go on for much longer so with a determined look in my eyes I said in the sexiest voice I could possibly muster up "Fine. If you don't want to kiss me, I'll make you want to kiss me." I backed away so he wouldn't be able to make out with my neck but before he could move in any closer, I grabbed a fistful of his shirt and crashed my delicate, soft lips onto his rough ones.

The more he pressed his lips against mine, the deeper the kiss became. I sighed as I poured my whole heart and soul into him, my thinking process clouded with the raw and intense emotions I had inside of me. None of the previous what-ifs I had before as an excuse mattered anymore. I was stuck in the now.

At one point, I gently massaged and nibbled at his lower lip and I could feel the smile that was dancing on his lips as he spoke dangerously "Aw, baby, now why'd you do that?" And he slid his cold hands up the length of my warm back.

The sudden change in temperature caused me to gasp a little and in that fraction of a moment, he slipped his tongue into my mouth.

'Smooth move' I thought to myself. Kudos to him for thinking fast.

Our tongues clashed and fought tirelessly for dominance but eventually, he gave in to me and I explored his mouth, letting myself get familiar with it.

I wasn't quite sure where this sudden surge of energy and confidence had come from but it seemed to disappear then reappear again from time to time. I wished like mad I could be this confident all the time.

Andrew kissed me passionately just like he did in my dream and I kissed him back the same way. We acted so needy around each other and when it came down to things, I guess we were.

Eventually, the bell rang, signalling the beginning of class and I pulled away "Let's go inside. I don't want to be late." A good suggestion from my end. Andrew nodded his head in agreement. "Good idea." And we walked into chemistry class hand-in-hand, together.

♡♡♡

I stood at the cafeteria doors, one hand glued to my side and the other gripping the handle so tightly, my knuckles were beginning to turn white as my eyes stayed fixated on the floor beneath me.

I was deep in thought about whether or not I should eat lunch in the cafeteria. 'You haven't been in there in weeks!' I told myself.

It was true. I hadn't stepped foot in the caf since... That scene with Victoria and Andrew. The only reason I was deciding on going now was because I kind of thought that maybe Andrew would break up with Victoria here... and a small part of me sort of wanted to witness it all happen first hand.

But by the time I had gotten to the door, I was beginning to have second thoughts. I inhale softly and lowered my eyelids.

'It'll be fine.' The small voice in my head told me. 'You have nothing to worry about.'

I opened my eyes again, with an expression of calm and readiness adorning what made up most of my facial features and strode into the room.

In all honesty, I half expected people to go silent and whisper amongst themselves "Look, it's Cass!" But no, the room stayed chatty as usual and I only got a few acknowledgeable glances thrown my way.

I don't know why I was even expecting that in the first place. Just because I had kissed a popular jock on the football team and he had a (soon to be ex) girlfriend who would probably smash me to bits when she found out it, didn't change my status as 'that quiet, geeky nerd-girl.'

After all, I was no Cinderella.

Speaking of Andrew, after our... intimate moment before school had started we continued to talk in chemistry.

"So..." he had begun as we sat down in our usual seats. "Storytime?" I asked with an innocent smirk. He smiled back. "Yep."

Then his face hardened and his expression shifted into one of seriousness and concern. "How are things between you and James?"

My body tensed up and a tight, suffocating feeling seeped into my chest and managed to wiggle its way into my heart. It was so strong and intense that it took over all my emotions until I could feel were disappointment and shame.

'What's your problem?' The same mean part of me from before snapped coldly. 'Why are you so upset? It wasn't like James was the one who dumped you, you broke up with him. And you're about have Andrew all to yourself so quit being so dramatic and get it together!'

It was true, he did tell me that he would break up with Victoria and we would go on from there so what was my problem? I was this close to getting everything I had ever wanted since the eighth grade and in less than a day, it would be just within my grasp. So why did I feel so bad about it?

Andrew was all that I really wanted... right?

Remembering that he was still waiting on me for a response, I cleared my throat as my eyes darted from his cool pools of blue to the black and white tile checkered floors over and over again.

I pushed up my glasses and swallowed the lump that had formed in my throat. "Yeah, uh, no we broke up right before I met you here this morning."

I didn't dare look at him while saying it. He was silent for a moment and I knew that he was debating on asking more when my eyes were glistening with all the leftover tears I had from earlier.

He went ahead and asked anyway. "And how did that go?" He inquired and a slow and soft tone as if I was some hurt and frightened animal ready to lash at him at any second.

I grimaced before responding. "Not so well..." I inhaled then exhaled sharply and took my hair out of its ponytail so I could run my fingers through it in frustration. I continued. "There was crying and yelling and screaming..."

I smiled weekly at him in a hopeless attempt to cover up my true feelings but it was no use. The tears from the mental dam I had built in my head was at its capacity and was beginning to overflow so it's water slowly leaked out of my eyelids in a steady stream and stained my cheeks.

I chuckled breathily at my new, unexpected show of emotions, thinking that I had embarrassed myself and started to wipe the tears away whilst apologizing. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to cry it's just-"

But before I could even finish what I was going to say, Andrew pulled my small body into his larger one for a tight hug. I buried my head in his chest while my hair moved with me as if it was a curtain to cover my face and took in a whiff of his cologne. I would never get over that.

"I'm the one who should be sorry," he said sadly in a soft tone. "I didn't mean to make you cry." I leaned back and smiled up at him while smoothing down the collar of his shirt.

"You didn't, you just made me feel ten times better." and I gave him a small peck on the cheek. I needed that hug more than he would ever know.

After I had collected myself a little bit, I questioned him. "So why do you ask?"

At first, his eyes widened in surprise as if he didn't expect me to ask him why he was asking. Then he stared dumbfounded down at me, searching his brain for a response.

Finally, he replied with "Oh! Um, no reason." I didn't like the silence before he spoke so I kept prodding for answers.

I arched my eyebrow at him. "Really?" I probed.

He just nodded in response and smiled sheepishly at me, whilst rubbing the back of his neck.

By now, I was beyond suspicious. I crossed my arms and my lips twisted into an unconvinced frown. "I don't believe you," I said to him, deadpan.

He sighed while blowing raspberries at me, then pursed his lips. "I know..." He looked away for a second, then met my eyes again, a half-smile tugging at the corners of his mouth. "I suck at lying don't I?"

I couldn't help but grin back. Who knew smiling was so contagious? Especially when they came from Andrew.

"You really do." I chuckled. Then I scooted my chair a couple of inches closer to him and turned my body around so that we could look directly at each other, face-to-face. "So... tell me," I ordered playfully.

Andrew shook his head. "I don't know Cass," he began. "I might have to like, kill you if I do." He joked, lightly punching my arm.

I laughed. "Andrew!" I exclaimed.

He threw his hands up in surrender. "Ok, Ok. I'll tell you, but you won't like it." He warned.

My hands waved him off dismissively. "Doesn't matter, I just want to know."

He bit his lip in thought, which I have to say was kind of hot but I didn't point it out, in fear that it would change the subject and I'd never get to know so I sat there and waited patiently for an answer.

"Fine, if you really want to know..." he started and tapped his fingers on the table to make it seem like he was drumming for a drum roll. It was so cute and dorky that I literally laughed out loud. This boy never ceased to amaze me.

"Yes...?" I ushered him to continue.

"Well... I may-or-may-not-have-ran-into-James-right-after-you-broke-up-with-him." Andrew belted out in one single breath.

It took me a second to process the words that had left his mouth but once I did, my smile disappeared and was replaced with an expression of shock and surprise rolled into one while my heart skipped a few beats and my stomach dropped to the floor.

I tilted myself forward and rest in my face in the palm of my hand. "Oh no," I said to mostly myself but it came out muffled because my hands were still covering my mouth.

I leaned back in my chair and stared at Andrew. "Tell me everything," I commanded and he did. I cringed with every word.

"Oh my gosh, you handled that terribly!" I half-joked to him. Andrew laughed. "I told you it was bad." I shook my head in mock disappointment at him. "I didn't think it was that bad!" I used as an excuse. He laughed again.

I lay one hand on my face and the other on the table, tapping my fingernails rhythmically on it. All jokes aside, I was frustrated and still a bit... or maybe a lot upset and I was starting to let it show.

I hung my head at him. "Everyone hates me," I mumbled quietly. Andrew protested in my defence. "What do you mean; I don't hate you."

I chuckled sadly and shook my head at his response. "But you used to..." he took my tapping hand in his and stared deep into my soul. "How so?" He asked softly.

I took in a shaky breath and continued. "When I told you I was dating James, afterwards, you would barely talk to me. Even when I'd try to have a nice, fun conversation with you, just like we used to have, it was never the same. I just assumed you hated me for it." I finished, exhaling deeply and waiting on him to respond.

"Cass... is that what you really thought?" He questioned, cocking his head to the side. I stared hard at the table as my hair cascaded down my shoulders like a dark, walnut brown waterfall. "I mean... I guess..." I murmured, fiddling with some strands of my own hair.

Andrew convulsed in a little bit of laughter and lifted my chin up so that I'd be able to look him straight in the eyes. "The only reason I ignored you was because I thought you didn't like me back. That you had chosen James over me. And anyway," he tucked the strand I was messing with from before behind my ear.

I looked at him, my mouth slightly ajar and listened like my life depended on it. "I didn't wanna hit on you if you already had a boyfriend." he stopped talking and there was a pause. "But I can't guarantee that people won't flirt with you now since you're practically my girlfriend. You're just too pretty." Andrew frowned at the thought.

I can't help but beam as my heart swell and butterflies swarmed in my stomach. 'He officially called me his girlfriend and was genuinely afraid that people would steal me away from him with my "looks"!' And though I try to play it cool and act like it didn't matter to me, I was giddy with happiness. In a total euphoria.

I scoffed and rolled my eyes at him, my cheeks glowing. "Pfft, I'm not that pretty. Like, take Victoria for example. I could never compare." Andrew gaped at me in disbelief.

"Let me tell you something real quick. The difference between you and Victoria is that she's all plastic. Literally, nothing about her is real. I've never looked at a photo of her without a filter or seen her go out in public without a truckload of makeup on. She's just so uptight and obsessed with what other people think of her, it's not even funny. On the other hand, when I met you, you were the exact opposite. You're smart funny and the most beautiful person I've ever met. Even without makeup, you shine brighter than any other girl I've ever seen and that's why I love you."

I was so moved by his speech that I was beginning to tear up. "Andrew," I sniffed, wiping my eyes. "I love you too." He gave me the biggest grin that I had ever seen after I said that.

"Good." Then he leaned down and I felt his lips brush up against mine ever so softly. I had never felt happier. When I pulled away, I rested my head on his shoulder and closed my eyes. A sense of calm swept over us and for the first time all day, I was actually enjoying myself.

Or for a few seconds at least because our cuddling session was rudely interrupted when the door swung open and the crazy chemistry teacher paraded in, startling us both and making us jump. When he saw us, he gave us the sternest glare ever seen by mankind, folded his arms together and said firmly "Hands. And. Feet. To. Self. Please."

Both of us looked at each other at the same time and after that, it was a full minute before Andrew and I could stop laughing.

"Hey! Hello?" An older woman snapped her fingers in my face to get my attention, drawing me back into the present day.

I blinked at her. "Hm?" I asked, slightly dazed.

It would appear that while I was retrospecting, I had managed to end up in the cafeteria food line and it was my turn to order.

"I asked you what you'd like to eat" the lady repeated.

"Oh!" I exclaimed, finally realizing what was going on. "Um, ok let's see..." I responded, scanning my options.

There were 5 I could choose from but I disregarded the meatloaf and mac 'n cheese because both didn't seem very appealing to me; narrowing it down to just 3 items. Lasagna, Chicken Wings and Shepards Pie.

Not really caring what I got anyway, I silently did a short round of Eenie Meenie Minie Moe in my head, landed on Lasagna and requested out loud "Could I have the Lasagna, please?"

"Sure!" the lady replied, her brunette curls bouncing as she moved.

She scooped out a huge helping of food onto my plate and handed it to me.

I placed it in my arms and smiled at her. "Thank you, uh..." I squinted at her name tag. "Ms. Morgan." I finished politely.

Ms. Morgan beamed back, her velvety, grey eyes giving off a soft feeling. "Why you're very welcome!"

I nodded and with one last look, I went to go hunt for a decent place to sit.

Scanning the entire room, I began strategizing where the perfect place to eat my lunch would be.

Usually, I sat with Bella but she was probably sitting with her track friends and even if I did try and sit down with them, I'm sure she'd move, leaving in an awkward position with people I barely even knew.

Then again, I could always sit with the Mathinators, at least they were people I actually knew but a downside to that what's that I was sure James would be there and avoiding him was my number one goal for today so that option also had to get crossed off my list.

I mean... I guess I could always sit with Andrew. I knew that he wouldn't shoo me away but that could decision could cause complications because his friends might ask questions and if anyone else saw, the rumours would travel fast and Victoria would find out. That can ruin how Andrew was planning to break up with her and I didn't want to meddle in that at all.

Trapped in my head once again, I didn't notice when someone's pink Converse sneaker was stealthily placed in my line of walking, tripping me and causing the contents in my tray to go flying in the air. 

A choir of high pitch giggles wailed likes sirens in my ears; and though I was sure I already knew who it was, I turned around anyway to see Victoria and her minions looking down at me and snickering.

Then, as people nearby had started to notice, Victoria's hands flew up to her mouth dramatically and her eyes filled with fake concern. "OMG, Cass! I am so sorry about that! My bad." That was all it took for her friends to start cackling like witches again. I glared at them and was about to tell them off when a loud gasp interrupted us all.

My food had landed right on the back of the girls white sweater and the rest of it splattered on her platinum blonde hair and all over her light blue jeans. 

The girl was Bella.

 "My clothes!" She shrieked, turning around to see how bad the damage was, but when she saw me on the ground with the tray in my hand, she shot daggers my way and sneered, "What is your problem? This sweater probably cost more than your face!" The small group of bystanders that had turned around to watch from their seats mumbled 'burns' but I rolled my eyes at both them and her stupid remark while standing up and brushing myself off.

"Well sor-ry, Victoria over here just tripped me so technically, it's not my fault." I pointed a thumb in her direction. 

Victoria glared at me for throwing her under the bus like and crossed her arms and pouted like a baby, yet didn't say a word. Maybe she knew better than interrupting a conversation that wasn't for her.

Bella, putting her hands on hips, scowled at me. "Save the excuses, because we all know your lying." 

"Why the heck would I even be lying about that? I mean we all know Victoria. Snobby and mean. Nothing more, nothing less." I gave her a sweeping look and turned my attention back to Bella. 

"I'm literally right here," Victoria grumbled but I ignored her. I knew Bella was looking for a fight and if that was what she really wanted, I'd give her all I got. 

"You lie about a lot of things," Bella commented as if she was stating the obvious.

I snorted. "Pfft, like when? 'Oh look, it's big bad Cass! You better stay away from her or she'll-" I gasped dramatically "-lie to you!'"

Chuckles echo throughout the entire room and that was when it was made known to me that what used to be a small group of people watching me, had morphed into the entire cafeteria's eyes and ears focused on our argument. 

Heat rose to my cheeks due to the fact that too much attention made me flustered but I smiled triumphantly through my embarrassment because the feeling of having the crowd on my side, in a way, empowered me to keep going.

With an unamused look on her face, Bella narrowed her eyes at me. "Grow up," she said in a very blunt, monotone voice. But I kept going.

"No but seriously, give me one example of when I lied to you."

"Umm..." Bella racked her brain for ideas and I almost laughed out loud.

"Well, how about the time you took Stephanie's Beanie Boo and hid it in your lunchbox and then blamed it on me in third grade, hm?" 

Memories from back then flooded my brain and I tried hard, I really did come to keep my straight, angry face but I was howling with laughter until my sides hurt in seconds.

 When I calmed down a bit, I exclaimed to her "you're talking about things that have happened over five years ago!" I continued. "look, I don't have time for people who are stuck in the past so talk to me when you reach the present, okay?" I dissed and the crowd went wild. I guess they didn't think I had in me and to be honest... neither did I.

With a small salute and an "adios," I turned around on my heels and started walking away, satisfied with how I dealt with the conversation until Bella called out to me, "you want the present? What about when you lied to James?"

 My legs instantly stopped functioning and I took an abrupt halt. It was like I had been slapped, gotten ice water poured on me and had been viciously stabbed in the lungs, my breath leaking out of my body, leaking out of my soul, like a puncture hot air balloon.

I slowly turned around to meet her once inviting and comfort-inducing baby blue eyes, now hard, cold and challenging from an icy stare, filled with jealousy and contempt. 

"Don't-" I started, my voice quivering in quite the aggressive manner so I pause, inhaled slowly and deeply as if the more air I consumed, the more the balloon would begin to refill a little.

 I tried again. "Don't bring my affairs with other people into this, please. It's not nice and it has nothing to do with you." I said in the best version of calm I could possibly muster up. 

I was sure that, even if it was for a fleeting moment, tucked away behind all the meanness dwelled a hidden disappointment, locked away and never to be seen by the outside world. Until now.

"But Cass," Bella started, keeping me held captive in her intense gaze. "I liked James." Her eyes darted to where he was sitting, a bit farther back behind me. I turned around to see a very confused James looking from one of us to the other, acting as if we had just told him the meaning of life.

Turning back to Bella, I felt like kicking myself. All of it made sense now. She hung up on me because I was dating her crush. I was such a bad friend. But I masked my shame with anger, my eyebrows furrowing so much I was sure anyone would mistake it as a furry brown caterpillar, first glance. 

"Wait," I closed my eyes and rubbed my temples attempting to make sense of it all. "So you're telling me you ignored me because I was dating someone? You ignored me because of a boy??"

 My voice was rising multiple octaves higher, my emotions getting the best of me. I knew it wasn't right that I shove it all the blame on her but... I guess in the spur of the moment... it was easier for me. It was just a lot of information to take in.

Bella just looked away, crossed her arms and shrugged at me; not breathing a word.

I scoffed bitterly and glared while my words oozed out of my mouth like a deadly poison. "Wow, I'm speechless. I mean, I thought we were close. Friends even. But then you showed your true colours. Just another jealous, backstabbing fake friend. I hope you're proud of yourself because you're the first person I've ever met that has stooped that low." I spat, engulfed with rage.

I guess I hit a nerve or something with my rant because her face turned fire-engine red while she did the unthinkable. She began to spew more garbage about me. 

"For your information, if you think what I did was low and that I'm the jealous one I suggest you look in the mirror because that's exactly what you are. Do you how annoying it is hearing 'Oh Andrew did this' and 'Andrew did that' all the time? It's so irritating. And even though you knew he has a girlfriend? That's way worse than anything I could ever do, you hypocrite!" 

Victoria, who we had forgotten was quietly watching right there in front of us, stood up and peered at Bella. "Um... what did you say?"

 In a flash, what would occur next played out in my mind and I pleaded "Bella, no, stop!" But it was too late. She ignored me and proceeded to tell Victoria and everyone else in the cafeteria for that matter the truth. 

"Oh, you didn't know? Well, let me fill you in on the latest tea then. Your boyfriend Andrew who you love ever so dearly has been cheating on you from right under your noes with this..." Bella turned to me and gave me a disgusted look. "With this thing!" 

The usually sassy and tough girl with the jet black hair and the emerald pools of green grew saucers for eyes while her face became a few shades paler. She looks from me to Andrew- who was a bit farther off to the side- then faced Bella again.  

Still in shock and overcome with incredulity, her voice oscillated. "W-what?" She whispered, A genuine look of the betrayal and hurt scattered all across her face.

Everyone erupted in mini side conversations of their own. Some of the comments I overheard were 'Cassandra did that?' and 'I never expect such a quiet girl like her to do something like that!' But I didn't bother correcting them.

I was too busy panicking. 

My secret was officially out, not only ruining Andrew's plan but demolishing the small chance that I could become his new girlfriend I had worked so hard and tirelessly to get. He could never love me now. 

With blurred eyes, I gave Bella one last glowering look before screaming in her face "What is wrong with you?" And bolting out the cafeteria doors. 

I ran and ran and ran until I reached my destination: the girl's bathroom. 

I stormed inside, ignoring the 2 freshmen girls who were giggling about something until they saw the state I was in, immediately shut up and silently made their way out through the door. 

Grateful for the solitude, I did what any other normal human being would do when faced with a situation like this. I locked myself in the nearest stall, sat down on the toilet seat and sobbed like there was no tomorrow.