WARNING

The following depicts true and fictional events that have happened to BTS. As a kind reminder, this is a work of fiction trying to bring light to the disgusting ways these men have been treated. DO NOT take the following as all fact. Some of these events described may have happened to other idols in the industry since crazy people are not only related to one idol group or one genre of music.

Reader's discretion is advised.

~

Namjoon arrived at his home, kicking off his shoes and discarding his phone after a single last message with Nia.

"Get home safe."

His body ached in all sorts of places, Namjoon throwing his head back and turning his neck in a circular motion in hopes of cracking it. He could feel the cold breeze of December enter through the cracks of his home's door, Namjoon walking over with heavy feet to turn off the thermostat. 

He thought through the events of the past two years, his opinion about Nia and obsessive fans wavering. On one hand, he had women throwing themselves at him, discarding their underwear during concerts, and throwing them at him and his fellow members, sometimes even having those same girls scramble to touch bottles of water they had drank from.

Once he had even come face to face with a fan checking his private parts while he peed. It was odd, gross, and outright harassment. More than just his dignity, he had felt as if what remained of his private life had been violated too.

Some people had attempted to kidnap them, and the recollection of their earlier days only made their stomachs feel even worse. It didn't matter if it was a joke or not, he could tell some of the members in his groups were truly scared, to the point where some of them had even created new habits to avoid events that could panic them to death.

Jimin, one of the youngest of the group, had avoided hugging people, his hands always hesitant to lay on anyone's back. He had had dieting issues, and at some point was too scared to even sleep alone. Jungkook, the youngest, stopped letting fans know of his new tattoos since those were precious to him and he had seen many people putting those same tattoos on themselves without knowing the meaning behind some of them, just to "be close" to him. Seokjin had blocked himself off from the world completely, wearing a fake smile on his face so well that he would sometimes forget to be himself even when in private. Taehyung had become angrier, easily prone to lash out when in private to the point where he could hardly smile as much as he did before. Taehyung would often bicker with the others, or even bicker with staff he thought were stalking him, his paranoia increasing after several of his belonging had gone missing following the arrival of new interns. Hoseok, the sunshine of the group, was always gloomy when alone, avoiding sleeping alone because of the fear of having a "fan" sneak in while he slept. Yoongi in general had increased security whenever he went somewhere to stay a night, either in a hotel or with his family. He had had to change his phone number twice to avoid death threats for things he had done in his past or to avoid weird calls in the middle of the night.

Some of them had received packages with blood, hair, inappropriate photos, and even clothing that had clearly been used. It was traumatizing to say the least, Namjoon falling face first into his bed while recalling it all. He hated it.

If the psychological trauma wasn't enough, some of them had even "fallen", tripped, or been scratched while at the airport or during everyday walks. If it hadn't been for the group of people who defended them, they were all well aware that much worse could have happened.

Namjoon felt helpless.

Yes, they had chosen that life, but it was a life that constantly hanged in the balance between happiness and misery. On one hand, he couldn't see himself doing anything else. He loved his job and had cried many times out of happiness because of their fans who had supported them. On the other, he had more than a handful of rich girls from out of the country trying to buy them or buy their way into their lives.

However, Nia was different.

She had seen Seokjin the way everyone in the group saw him as, a fake watered-down version of himself. He felt a bit ashamed of the way he had judged her when they first met. She had grown over time, just like his beliefs had. She had changed and so had he, both of them getting along far better than planned. However, that didn't change the feelings he had whenever he went overseas or even to the nearest convenience store. He felt frightened. He felt uncomfortable even walking alone at night or in the daylight. It didn't matter what he did, at the end of the day, he knew she could not speak for a million voices, and she was definitely not the norm.

Namjoon would look behind himself every time he walked. Namjoon would still check his home cameras and double-check all his locks in his home. When with the boys, they would all do checks of their hotels or dorms without having to even say a word.

Paranoid.

They had become paranoid to even exist. Paranoid to even go to the toilet. All of them were anxious and scared, but they had to push forward for those who had believed in them then, and for those who still had high expectations of them. 

~

Namjoon entered the dorms cautiously. He was nervous to get there early in hopes of surprising the guys with some street food. It wasn't often that they ate meals together but with Hoseoks's help, everyone had agreed to go there in hopes of eating together. It was the least he could do. After spending so many years together, small details like those kept them together as friends, it freed up their minds for only a moment. 

As he entered the dorm where the guys would arrive, his eyes immediately spot the eldest members. Kim Seokjin had been sitting on one of the sofas that lined the living room area while looking at his laptop like a disgruntled old man trying to figure out how to work a new gadget, his face scrunched up as if he was worried about something, the second eldest, Min Yoongi, also nearby, his glasses laying low down the bridge of his nose. Both of them didn't even look up to acknowledge Namjoon's presence, instead, both of them idled in their own little bubble. 

"Didn't expect to find you two here," Namjoon beamed, setting down a couple of bags of street food he had bought on the way there.

"Came here early since Hoseok mentioned there would be food," Yoongi replied, chuckling to himself while staring at his phone. Yoongi looked up, his eyes immediately going in the direction of a monitor sitting on the kitchen counter. The kitchen and living room were roughly connected, and the monitor in the kitchen showed cameras around the house. It was an unspoken rule that whoever arrived there first would be the one to inspect the place with their bodyguards. Yoongi's bodyguards were standing at the front of the dorm, keeping an eye and ever so often making rounds around the place.

Yoongi looked tired, the bags under his eyes making Namjoon feel uneasy.

"Didn't sleep much?"

"No. Someone threw a rock at my parents' home window and I stayed up. I couldn't fall asleep," he groaned. 

"Been a while since they tried anything funny," a hoarse voice echoed from the hallway. 

Out of the corner came one of the younger members, Taehyung, his hair soaked as if he had just showered and a white towel around his neck.

"Yeah. It really has been. Didn't think they'd have the guts to but damn. Dammit, I really hate it," Yoongi smiled to himself. His smile was uneasy like he was trying to be cheerful but no amount of willpower could make him feel genuinely better.

"My mother's been messaging me and joking around about my dad putting up a new window and seeing him do something he hadn't done in so long for the first time. She thinks dad looks funny in an apron," Yoongi snickered to himself, showing the guys a picture on his phone screen, his father crouched down with a broom in hand in pink rubber gloves with flower decorations on it. 

Namjoon smirked sadly at him, Taehyung going over to have a better look at the picture.

"Well, I brought you guys some food. Tteok-bokki and some fried chicken. Hope you guys enjoy it," Namjoon offered, pulling out some of the food from the bags and placing them down on the wooden dining table. 

"Unfortunately I can't join you today," Jin interrupted, closing up his laptop and placing his large warm coat over his wide shoulders. 

"How come, hyung?" Taehyung questioned.

"I- I have someone to feed," he replied, getting up from the couch.

Just as he did, his phone fell face up in the direction of Namjoon, Namjoon taking a hold of it and glancing at it before handing it over to Jin. He had read a message, one he probably shouldn't have seen, however, Namjoon pretended not to have seen anything. Namjoon took some money out of his pocket and inconspicuously slid it into Jin's coat pocket. 

Nia. The message had been from a girl named Nia, and Namjoon could easily tell it was from the same Nia he knew. 

"I'm excited for what you will cook today!" - Nia

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🐨I know I have been MIA for a while but I hope you guys are still cheering this book on.

Special thanks to the following for their comments that keep me writing more:

Spooky808

Belgiangirl2001

ArtisticOwl123

Also, a cute little pic to bless your eyes:

I hope to see more support as we near the end of the book!

Marili Cruz

~♡~