You were sitting in Seon's office working on the computer, having come home earlier than usual.

You didn't need to sit at the office to do your job and you didn't want to sit either, as you were kind of pissed off with Jungkook.

Your patience had started to run out and you honestly were in need of a break from him right now, a break you, unfortunately, can't have because you are also supposedly his wife.

Such a mess, a total mess, everything is a mess!

You pulled yourself away from the computer in frustration as you couldn't concentrate on how to function in all this anymore and it was all Jungkook's fault of course and his actions that were running through your mind.

His gaze whenever he was to look at you, his touch, his kisses, they were all so hard to put aside as they had made a mess of your emotions over time. It was a lot of pressure on you all this frequent exposure to contact even though you had tried so hard these days not to make it a big deal, but god knows how many times you just wanted to scream and tell him to never touch you again.

It wasn't that his touch was something you detested, it was just that he was so pressuring, or rather it was the fact that you couldn't trust him, one moment he behaves a certain way and the next he behaved another way. What exactly were you supposed to do with him?

"Y/N~" His voice calling you reached your ears, making you want to hide somewhere as you realized that he had just gotten back home and you would most likely hear a bunch of complaints cause you left ahead without him. 

"I am coming." But I wish I wouldn't ' You replied to him as you kept half of your thoughts to yourself before taking a deep breath and walking out of the room only to be confronted by a large bear at the doorstep.

"Hello miss. Would you like to dance with me?" The big brown teddy bear pretended to speak, making you crack up momentarily, before shaking your head at Jungkook's sweet goofiness, who was hiding behind the bear.

"Seriously what were you thinking?" You asked him as you took the bear from his hands and revealed his face from behind it.

"I know you're very angry today, you even left work without telling me anything. I just want to make you happy." He told you in all honesty and you couldn't help but smile as you walked past him and headed for the living room.

"If you want to make me happy then don't do stupid stuff Jungkook. I don't need gifts." You retorted as you placed the teddy bear on the couch and admired it a bit since you liked it, even though you weren't planning to admit to that.

"I know, I told you it won't happen again." He tried to get closer to you, making you take a few steps back, letting him know that you wanted to keep your distance.

"That's what you always say. You say you won't pressure me, but you put pressure on me. You say 'we'll go slowly, but you don't go slowly at all. And everything goes your way. I'm tired." You spoke somewhat abruptly at that moment, making the room fall into silence with the only sound of Jungkook's breaths starting to pick up in pace.

"I just don't know what to do! I fucking want you! Do you know what it's like to love someone so much and have it in front of you all the time but you can't touch it? Do you think how I feel every time you move away from my touch?!" It was his turn to speak and he raised his voice involuntarily because of the injustice he felt eating him away at the inside.

"What can I say. You should probably go unleash your hormones with the model then. Go satisfy your needs."The words rolled out of your mouth out of frustration but as soon as you realised what you had said, you regretted it, for you saw the expression that took over his face and how offended and hurt he looked by those words of yours.

"Seriously that's all you have to say." He let out a bitter laugh at that moment before turning to leave and you simply called him to stop, already knowing you had messed up at that point.

You acted selfishly and didn't even want to acknowledge his own pain and that wasn't fair because at the end of the day, a mess or not, he was someone who now, at that very moment, thought and felt like he was in love with you. With his heart and his mind, at that moment it was you all he wanted and that was truly something you couldn't imagine yourself becoming for anyone. You were his love.

"I said too much. I shouldn't have said that. I'm sorry. Please just sit down and let's talk." You told him as you were still looking at his back but Jungkook didn't turn to face you.

"Why should I forgive you? When you can't forgive me for trying to make you Jealous." His words reached your ears and you simply sighed at how he brought things back to where his side.

"I forgive you okay, are you happy now?" You gave in and he looked over his shoulder to face you before giving you a 'no' as a reply and leaving for his room.

You were speechless at his behaviour and you felt your nerves rising instantly as you followed after him, barging into the room while he had started to proceed to change his clothes.

"Are you serious right now? You're seriously going to act like it's all my fault? How dare you walk out like that of a conversation!?" You yelled at him furious, paying zero attention to his naked body as he had just taken off his shirt.

"Y/N I'm not in a mood to talk. Please get out before I do or say anything I might regret." Jungkook spoke to you coldly before turning his back to you and continuing to search for his casual wear in the closet.

"No! I'm not going anywhere. You're being rude. You tell me you love me but your actions are so whatever. You are confusing!" You insisted, your use of words triggering him further.

"What? Did I hear well what you just said? My actions? Not yours? You're supposed to be my wife but I am the only one who you don't  want to touch you, everyone else is fine." He uttered, words of anger that even he didn't believe but now he was out of control and his words had already reached your ears, making your gaze hard on him.

"That's not true! I don't like anyone's touch! And if I wouldn't love you why would I marry you anyway!" You argued, wanting to win this argument since he didn't know he wasn't married to you at all, to begin with.  

"That's what I wonder too. When you don't seem to love me so why did you marry me? Is it because of my money?" Jungkook's words froze the atmosphere as his eyes widened at what he blurted out at the realization of how much it could offend anyone to hear that.  

"Oh, I see how it is. Now I get it. That's what you've been thinking about all this time, haven't you? This is what you think of me. Jerk!" Now you clearly expressed your irritation and went to leave but Jungkook rushed to take hold of your wrist to stop you, for fear of losing you consumed his entity instantly. 

Because yes, he had thought about this option many times but he still loved you just the same and he didn't care why you were staying for as long as you did stay and he had a chance to win you over with time. An opportunity that seemed to be fading away at that moment, filling him with despair.

"Let me go!" You tried to free yourself from his hold but to no avail as he simply brought you into his arms and held you tight.

"Please don't leave. I'm a fool I know. But I love you. I love you,  please don't leave me." He told you, his voice stating the amount of pain he was in.

You fell silent for a while in his arms, feeling bad that you ended up making him feel crappy and full of doubts again, which wasn't your intention. You were just full of nerves on your own and your mixed feelings brought you to an even more confusing moment between you two.

You brought your hands to the side of his body and pushed him lightly, meeting his eyes and then you smiled softly at him, wanting to reassure him.

"Why do you have to be like this? You make me incapable of knowing how to deal with you," You told him, something he didn't understand but you knew what you were referring to because if he was the Jungkook who you used to know, you would know how to behave, while with this Jungkook you were a mess, because this Jungkook, expects things from you that the old one would never even think about.

The two of you just stared at each other for a minute, before Jungkook's eyes landed on your lips. An action so subtle yet you immediately picked up on it for it strangely brought the aura in the room to shift.

"Jungkook-"

"Please... Just once... Let's try." He cut you off in a whispering and pleading tone,  his words making your heart beat faster at the thought of what he was asking of you to try.

"M-m-emmm... I-I don't-" You trailed off a bit, trying to answer him but you couldn't finish your words as his arm wrapped around your waistline and pulled you, even more, closer to him. 

"Just a try and if you don't like it, we can stop. Whenever you tell me to stop and I give you my word that I will stop. Come on, if we never try how are we going to get over this?" He reasoned, putting you in a difficult position to refuse but you couldn't say yes because your position was as such.

You weren't even his wife, doing anything with you was the same as doing it with anyone else, in the sense that the deception was the same towards his marriage. A marriage in which you were aware of how faithful he was towards and how much he would regret it if he was to do something to damage that. You honestly had tried hard to keep his marriage intact for him and not do anything that when he remembers, he might feel bitterly about it.

But unfortunately, you couldn't finish your trail of thoughts and succeed in coming up with something that could sound like a good enough of a reason to reject him at that moment. Yet even if you had, the gaze in his eyes made you aware that it wouldn't have been easy to change his mind, and before you knew it, he had placed his lips on yours, erasing every thought and filling you with nervousness.

A nervousness that began to fade as his kisses increased, along with your body temperature. A feeling you never thought he of all people, would be the one to give you. The realization couldn't help but make you freak out.

"Don't be afraid.... Trust me...we are in this together" He whispered against the skin of your neck where he was, noting the slight trembling that took over your body.

Jungkook looked into your eyes as he took your hand and brought you to the bed where he laid you down carefully, while you were still completely speechless, just looking into his eyes as if trying to find something in them, something to prove to you that he was lying. That his words of love weren't real.

Because in your head, only the thought that he loved Seon was running around in circles because the Jungkook you used to know, only loves Seon. Yet Why? Why now were those eyes full of love turned towards you? And why, that proved to have such a big effect on you at that moment.

The way he seemed to love you, the way it was only you. The fact that he suffered waiting for you and only you. The fact that all that ever rolls out of his mouth is your name. Everything was so annoying yet so new to you. How does it feel, to have someone to love you?

He caressed your hair as if it was the most delicate thing he had touched in his life before leaving a small kiss on your forehead and then moved down to your lips again which he kissed softly, leaving the sweetness intoxicating his breath before he moved further down your neck while his hands began to unbutton your shirt.

His heart was beating like a drum in his ears as your heavy breaths accompanied it like a melody that was hazing his mind, with desire for you. Oh how much he wanted to have you. To show you how much he loves you. To let you feel the turmoil you have awakened in his body and the fire that was running through his veins, calling for you.

He wanted to caress every part of your entity. Hold in his embrace all that is you and keep you safe in his warmth. He was desperate to make you his, to win that trusted place that a husband must have at the side of his wife. He wanted to give you his all. Lay his heart open in your palms and enjoy the warmth of your care.

However, he was the only one under that sweet veil of love, for it didn't take long for you to get sobber from the sweetness of his kisses, and the craving that he had awakened in your flesh.

Hold up, Hold up!! Is this seriously happening right now??...Seon~...I can't...I can't.

Your mind suddenly shook you well from the bewilderment you had been in as guilt filled your insides and your lips immediately let out something Jungkook didn't want to hear.

"Please ..stop." However as soon as those words echoed in the atmosphere, he brought his actions to a halt immediately,  his body did not leave yours. Instead, he stood there above you and with heavy breaths he reached out to your hand and took hold of it, only to bring your hand above his chest letting you hear his heart pounding beneath his bare chest and his sharp breaths, which you yourself had caused to him.

"It hurts... but I would do it forever...You don't have to think about me...I will wait... I want you so much, my love. Now and forever, one day we will succeed... One day I will make you mine." His words rang in your ears before he brought his head closer to face your now flustered state, which brought a smile of joy to appear on his lips.

A smile that once again filled you with a warm feeling inside you. A feeling you had now started to fear.

Seon... I think... If he doesn't get better soon... We're going to have a problem.

You thought as the sounds of his heartbeat kept pulsating under your fingertips, sounding so as loud as they were in sync with yours. 

--- The be continued...