It chilled me, the goodbye note. Even in death she was melodramatic, but Jesus. These were this girl's last words before ... before ...

"How'd she die?" I asked.

"She overdosed on sleeping pills," the ginger cop told me this before sighing and crossing his fingers together on the table. He then leaned over. "This is what happens when people get bullied and then it keeps going online."

"Nobody forced her to keep that account," I muttered under my breath. He slammed his palms on the table, making me jump.

"What the fuck is wrong with you, Renny? Now see, you may act cold and distant, but I know you feel remorse. You're a smart girl. Yet still, even after this girl's dead, you keep trash talking her?!"

"I'm not trash talking," I snap. "and what do brains have to do with remorse anyway?" I lean back and cross my arms, defiant. No way was this dude gonna intimidate me like this. "I'm just stating a full on truth. Cyberbullying is a fucking myth. Literally nobody was forcing that girl to keep posting on social media. She knew the kind of hate she was gonna get, and she still did it. And you know why?" He looked genuinely confused when I said it. "Because most girls today are fucked in the head. Because girls today would rather get hated than ignored. Because at least through the online hate she got, that bitch thought she existed. Whereas in real life, for every one time she was bullied, she was ignored 99% of the time. Because people like her thrive off of being victims. That doesn't excuse at all what Jenny and I did. It was a horrible thing to do, I won't deny that. But that bitch had issues before us. Yeah she got bullied and harassed, and guess what? That shit was worse than the cyberbullying!"

Sikh cop looked like he was gonna say something, but I cut him to the chase and kept going.

"Cyberbullying is a fancy ass term grownups – well, older adults, anyway – use to distance themselves from the fact that bullying was just as fucking bad when they were young, and they didn't do shit to stop it, so they try to act like the younger generation bullies more. But it's two completely separate issues. The bullying is as horrible as it's always been, but people are so fucking narcissistic 'cause of social media that they'd rather get bullied even more so long as they get constant attention! It's an illness! But one comes from society and the other is technology's fault."

They stared at me like I sprouted wings or something for a while, then the ginger dude went back to talking.

"You can come up with theories like this but you couldn't figure out that making that website was wrong?" That hurt for some reason. I didn't know what to say. Then I found the words, eventually.

"I knew it was wrong."

"Then why in the world did you do it?"

--

Jenny ...

It was nighttime and I was staring at the city view from the 18th floor of Jenny's apartment, wearing nothing but those tiny shorts and cute teddy bear shirts that bad girls wore to compensate for being sex symbols all the time.

Toronto at night was so beautiful and peaceful. I wondered if New York was the same. I'd always wanted to go. Jenny and I kept saying we should plan a trip there sometime. Hell, maybe even move there at some point.

Seeing all those lights and imagining all the life still going on out there so late at night made me feel ... something. Like a weird blend of peace and sadness. Nostalgia, I guess. Something like that.

Loneliness. Yeah. Maybe that's what it was. No, not maybe. That was what it was. I wondered if the feeling was ever gonna leave or if it'd always be like this. There was something comforting to it though, that loneliness. The kind you feel in lovely parties with tons of attractive, superficial people talking about trivial things. Or maybe it was just comfortable because it was all I knew. Or because I'd spent more time in hotels during my father's trips while growing up than I had at home. Or maybe it was because he always paid more attention to me when we were travelling than when we were back home.

First world problems, I know. But that foggy sadness hadn't always been there. I guess now it was just a matter of whether it would stay or not –

"Renny..." a small voice called out, making me jump. I turned around and saw Jenny, and my heart swelled with affection then. It was hard to explain. She's always so strong, so sexy, so ...hypnotizing, I guess. And yet seeing her right there, with those tiny pink shorts and that long grey shirt with 'I AM A PRINCESS' sprawled across it ... seeing her so vulnerable and innocent, with her hair tied up in a messy bun and her face devoid of makeup, it just did something to me. In that instant I saw the little girl she'd told me about, the one who used to adore her maid more than her own parents. The one who used to be scared of her father and mother because she saw them so little. That girl. That lonely girl, although she herself didn't want to acknowledge it. She rubbed her left eye tiredly with one fist.

"Are you coming to bed?" She asked. So much affection in so little words.

"Yeah, I'll be right over," I said gently. She nodded before yawning. After that she made her way back to her room and I soon followed. Soon as we got to the bed we both curled into a fetus position and huddled against one another, and right then it no longer felt like I was alone.

--

When I snapped out of my trance I finally noticed that the two cops were staring at me, expecting an answer.

"Why'd I do it? I don't know. Because I'm weak, I guess."

--

Hope you guys enjoyed the new Morbid update! Can any of you relate? Have you ever done something you shouldn't be doing for someone else? Or have you ever let bad things happen just because you were too depressed to do anything about it? If so, let me know in the comments! And as usual, don't forgot to vote and add Morbid to your reading list if you like what you're reading! This next update is one of my favorites -- it's a Renny/Nathan scene and will talk a bit more about the kind of social pressures and issues men face. So make sure not to miss it ;)