POV Luca

I'm frozen as I stare at him, unmoving, eyes wide. My heart is beating painfully in my chest. Shit.

I try to speak. To say anything. Nothing comes out of my mouth. The longer the silence stretches between us. My muscles stiffen. Breathing becomes harder. The doubt starts clouding Eli's eyes.

"I thought I had more time." I choke out.

I know I shouldn't be panicking because we talked this relationship through, but my instincts are all over the place right now. As an omega, the wolf part of me already knew a claim was inevitable. He was just pleased the Alpha didn't push his human, so he eagerly waited and relished the moments the wolves got to bond.

"Luca, Sweetheart, we have plenty of time, but I," He pauses, and I feel like all of the air is being sucked away from me. "There are two things I've learned in the last week, so I want you to consider being my official boyfriend."

My wolf knows by this age that "boyfriend" from your alpha is as good as a claim, so he was immediately excited. Now, as the conversation between the humans continues, I feel him deflate, pacing anxiously. He whines, plopping down, watching me as if he is angry.

"Luca, Alpha."

I tilt my head. So he is ready? Well, hell. I internally groan at the idea that everyone is ready to jump into a relationship, but then also it isn't a jump. It's been several months.

"Eli." I pull in a shuddering breath.

"First, I really enjoyed waking up with you the other morning. It was quite nice, and I would like to do that more often." I notice that he shifted closer to me, but the air around us stayed light and fresh.

Shock spread through my body in currents of cold as I realized I had become quite used to Eli's pheromones when I was stressed, but he seemed not to be using them. That itself made my distress heighten for some inane reason. Since day one, he had always been a comfort to me. Now, I was aware that I might have taken that experience for granted. It's not Eli I'm afraid of; it's everyone else's expectations. But hasn't he proved that he doesn't care about anyone's expectations enough to make me do anything I'm uncomfortable with?

"Second," Eli sighed, looking slightly stressed, "the Elders' Council has made it clear that they want to start looking for a Luna for me. I don't want another Luna unless you decide you don't want to be with me."

"It's unfortunately been many years since I reached mating age. They want the stability of a sitting Luna. If I tell them we are together, even if we don't mate yet, they will likely back off." He drops that bomb as if it were nothing to say the pack elders had decided that he had been a mateless alpha too long.

I whimper softly. My hands are trembling at the thought of taking the next step into a relationship. I wring my hands together to try to stop fretting, squeezing my fingers tightly. Eli reaches for my hands take one of my smaller ones into his larger one.

"Is it really so bad? Still? The idea of being with me? Hmm?" Eli asked. It sounds almost painful, like just asking tore at him.

"It's not you specifically. I just," I breath out quietly. "I just don't really know what to do."

"You will learn to be a Luna in time." Eli pushes a stray lock of my curls out of the way so he can look me in the eyes. "As for our relationship, we can still take our time. Still get to know each other. Take it slow. Still be us. I-I'm running out of chances to turn down potential mates. And Luca, we kind of already are in a relationship at this point."

Shifting so my cheek rests in his palm, squeezing my eyes shut. I like how we are now. I know I don't need to be afraid of him. I'm not afraid of him. I'm afraid of everyone else imposing their will on us, because I still haven't decided if I can go through the whole mating process. What's going to change when everyone finds out?

Eli stays silent as I try to control my breathing. He doesn't try to soothe me, and I realize that in this moment, he wants me to think.

Thinking is what makes it scary, because then I remember sex-ed. Then all of the parts of the mating process, which always involves copulation, to solidify some bio-brain mess that is important to werewolves. Every year, there is a pack sex-ed class where they explain mating, the biting to mix scents, and all that jazz, but distinctly, with omegas, there is more.

Omegas don't get cute little love bites. We get an "omega mark," and alphas' knots are only triggered by omegas. I am so uninterested in the pain that either of those situations will bring. I already don't like the idea of sex, but being a werewolf adds a very different level of fear to bumping our uglies together. And no, the idea that our bodies are made for alphas does not help, because it just makes me question why I can't just do it.

It's a small comfort that Eli wants this decision to be all mine, what I want. Not be guided by his pheromones. Not have my senses dulled. Not to have an alpha decide. It gives me a little more confidence, but it still stresses me out.

Alphas are not gentle creatures. Also, I am a male omega, so anatomy-wise it's risky. Nothing about being a person who can carry pups makes me interested in sealing a mate bond. I shift away from him.

"Eli, I can't-" I feel the panic clawing at my throat when I think about the fact that agreeing to a relationship could mean mating, and mating will hurt, and there are many ways the result of mating can go wrong.

"I don't want to scare you. I don't want to force you. And if you really don't want to be with me, I will do everything to make life easier for you when I mate with someone else. But you do know that I will eventually have to mate with someone." I look at him with wide eyes. "You know the council wouldn't push it if a pack Alpha didn't need a mate."

"B-b-but-"

I feel my heart drop to my stomach as his words hit me. The details of a pack's Alpha and his Luna mating had never been something that I really paid attention to because I never imagined I'd be our Aloha's mate since he was older, but I remember that one of the things that we learned. Something I noted in all the Lunas' journals I had been reading. Alphas need their Lunas to stay balanced.

"Eli, why didn't you tell me?" I hate that it almost sounds like a whine.

"I didn't want you to feel like you had to mate if you didn't want to. I didn't want you to feel any obligation to be with me."

"I don't," I sigh. "I don't feel obligated. Relationships are just weird and, well, I know it's going to hurt when we mate. I really am not prepared for that." I look away, feeling my cheeks burn.

"Hurt?" Eli asked.

"You know when you, when we..." I trail off feeling very shy.

"It's not supposed to hurt, Luca."

"I am a male omega."

"No, I mean, there can be discomfort, Luca, but if we, um, take our time, there should not be pain enough to scare an omega." Eli reached to tilt my head so I could look up at him. "Even when I knot. Because sex involves communication, I'd expect you to tell me how you feel so I can do something to ease discomfort. Luca, do you know anything about sex other than general pack sex ed?"

"Um, not really."

"Okay. That's fair. But I can't push you, Luca. I want you desperately. I do." I could see his eyes darken, which made me nervous. "But just because you are mine, doesn't mean I can do whatever I want. I'd rather lose my mind or even just part from you than ever have you be afraid of me."

"How long do, when would we need to mate?"

"I'm not in a rush. I just want to tell the council that I have my Luna. They will need to confirm it with you, but we can stall mating for a bit so they don't force me into an alliance or something."

I frown at him. If the council is pestering him, mate with a chosen mate, then he has been struggling for a while. He likely needs to seal the bond soon. But I realize that just as much as he doesn't want to let me go, I don't want to walk away from him. And I'm not afraid of him. Never him. My eyes burn, and I blink back the tears of fear.

"I'm scared," I whisper.

"I know, Luca." I feel his thumbs brush across my cheeks.

"I don't know how to be a boyfriend."

"I don't expect you just to know, but you've been doing okay."

I close my eyes to think. Biting my lip, I try to compose myself. My eyes fly open as I hear a soft growl. Eli's wolf is present. My eyes widen in surprise. He shakes his head with a curse.

I grab his wrist before he lets me go. I can be brave. I trust him to take care of me.

"Okay." I breathed out.

"Okay?" He turns back to me, looking down at me.

"But I'm still scared."

"But not scared of me?"

"Just that you are an alpha, but not of you."

Eli inclines his head in understanding. He looks lost in thought. I nuzzle my cheek against his palm again to bring his attention back to me.

"Are you sure you can wait for us to mate officially? That, you are going to be okay if you are already-"

"You don't worry about that." Eli leans in, rubbing his nose against my cheek. "Just sleeping with you for one night gave me a boost for several days."

I laugh to cover my shock.

"You're kidding, Eli."

He smiled at me wistfully.

"Of course not. Fully mated or not, my bond to you is already strong. And I simply adore you." I flush.

"I'm not sure I deserve you," I whisper as we shift, snuggling together.

"Of course you do. We deserve each other. We are very good together. We will be a very strong Alpha Couple." Eli says softly as he tucks me into his arms tightly.

"How long do we have before you have to get back? You had a meeting, right?" He groaned at the reminder.

"We have time, but the Elders can always wait for their Alpha, especially when he has news for them." He paused thoughtfully. "Luca, can I kiss you?"

I peek up at him shyly through my lashes. I realize that I'm not tense anymore; I don't want to run, which brings my focus back to him. There is no negative feeling in the pit of my stomach or revulsion. Just my general experiences of disinterest in physical intimacy, but this is also Eli, who smells really nice and is safe.

Eli. The Alpha. My alpha. A man who very clearly loves and values me. Not because, as an omega, I belong to him. He never had to do any of the things that he had done for me. Not this way.

The Alpha would have protected one of his pack members and made sure they were safe.

An alpha would have likely just claimed me.

Eli, this specific, alpha, my alpha, made sure that I was not just safe. He made sure I was comfortable. He didn't have to do any of the little extra things just because he noticed I liked those specific ones. He didn't have to court me.

I can at least try for him. I know I can because if I'm uncomfortable, he will listen. He never pushes. Which is bare minimum, I suppose, but with many alpha-omega pairs listening can be a lot.

I definitely want to see if I like it. Biting my lip, I decide to brave again. Yeah, this isn't embarrassing at all.

"Okay. Yeah, let's do the kissing."

Eli let's at a short bark of laughter before I felt my body move. I yelped before looking up at him, now that I was flat on my back with him leaning over me. Looking up at him wide-eyed, I suck in a deep breath. My wolf tried to soothe me despite his own nervousness. He recognized that this was a big step for us, just as I did. That if I didn't panic, this would push the whole thing forward. It was like he was lending me strength not to forget that I was with Eli and that we were safe, because for just a moment, I saw only a very large alpha.

When his lips touched mine, they were soft and smooth. Nothing like what I expected. No force or extra pressure. Shock coursed through me for just a moment before my eyes fluttered shut. I'm quite sure I heard another growl from Eli, and even when the pressure slightly increased as his lips moved across mine, I didn't get scared. He stayed calm. He was gentle.

Then the pressure was gone. I shivered as the cooling air from early afternoon poured over me when Eli leaned away. Opening my eyes slowly, I watched as his own scanned my face before a happy smile spread across his. He leaned down and rubbed our noses together.

"That was okay?" Eli checked in, bringing his hand up to cup my cheek.

I feel my cheek warm. My mind scrambles to decide what to do. Nothing. I absolutely don't know what to do.

"Um, yes," It's almost a question. "Thank you."

My face is so hot. The humiliation is only furthered as Eli's deep laugh tumbles from his lips, and he sits up on his haunches. His thumb caresses my cheek even as I feel like maybe the ground should open up and swallow me, but he is still smiling happily at me like I'm the greatest treasure in the world.

I don't know a lot, but I know that I like that.