James joined the Marauders at the Gryffindor table in the Great Hall the next morning, to find the air around their small portion of the table highly expectant.

Sure enough, and soon enough, music could be heard to be approaching the Great Hall, and all of a sudden, the double doors burst open to issue a very grumpy Snape. The doors slammed shut behind him, and the boys winced as a great clanging of metal rang through the Hall. The noise abruptly halted and the music resumed soon after, and the doors were once again opened to admit a suit of armour, which appeared to be singing.

Lily had heard the tune from a reasonable distance (she had very good hearing) and had been surprised to recognise the muggle Christmas song "Oh Christmas Tree, Oh Christmas Tree". As the doors opened for a second time after Snape, however, Lily realised that the song was not, in fact, "Oh Christmas Tree, Oh Christmas Tree". In fact, it was very different.

"Oh Snivelly, Oh Snivelly,

Gryffindor won at Quid-ditch!

Oh Snivelly, Oh Snivelly,

Your Seeker cannot even find the Snitch!

Gryyyy-findor will win the cup,

And Slytherin will have to suck it up!

Oh Snivelly Oh Snivelly,

You are an ugly gi-it!"

The Hall was silent as the suit of armour finished, taking his place behind Snape at the Slytherin table. The teachers stared at the suit of armour in surprise, and Lily approved of the fact that their gaze was immediately redirected to the Marauders, who were busy trying to look as innocent, amused and surprised as the rest of Hogwarts.

Peter Pettigrew had never been a convincing liar.

"Why has it stopped?" Sirius hissed as the students were beginning to slowly leave the Hall, chattering and laughing excitedly some ten minutes later. "Wasn't it supposed to keep singing?"

"I put it on a twenty minute timer, Padfoot," Remus explained patiently. "Because I, unlike you, would prefer that we learn something today."

The golden suit of armour persisted in following Snape around for the duration of the day, much to the detriment of seventh year classes, which would be interrupted every twenty minutes for the armour to complete it's rendition of what had formerly been one of Lily's favourite Christmas carols. Professors Flitwick and McGonagall had attempted, to no avail, to remove the charm placed on the suit of armour, and when that failed Professor McGonagall had further attempted to transfigure the suit of armour into a rock. This also did not work, due to certain wards that Lily suspected James Potter must have laid on the armour to make it un-Transfigurable.

Professor Dumbledore had examined the armour himself in the morning break before announcing, quite contentedly, that the suit of armour had been placed under a particularly curious and wonderful piece of magic which he believed should be appreciated and admired. This, of course, displeased Snape to no end, and he became, if possibly imaginable, even more bitter and twisted than usual.

"Why don't we silence it?" Lily suggested finally, in Charms.

She was pleased to note the Marauders exchange stricken looks, and knew instantly that silencing would work. And so it did – well, kind of.

Unfortunately for Lily, the silencing charm required constant replacing. The charm developed a tendency to wear off at the most inconvenient of places, for instance that evening as Professor Dumbledore was speaking to the students before dinner.

"-And Mr Filch has asked me to remind you to please refrain from setting off Dungbombs in the corridors-"

"And Slytherin will have to suck it up."

The entire Hall turned to stare at Snape's armour. Professor Dumbledore raised his eyebrows at it. "Thank you," he told it mildly. "I don't feel that will be necessary."

Lily could have sworn, much to her disappointment, that Dumbledore's eyes were twinkling in amusement. Was he just going to let the Marauders get away with this?

"I think perhaps that I would like a word with my Head students after dinner, if you please, Lily and James?"

"I am concerned," Professor Dumbledore announced, "That poor Severus is being bullied. Can either of you think of anyone who would be so malicious?"

Dumbledore was frowning as he directed his gaze toward the head boy. James shrugged, apologetic but only to a point.

"Snape has a lot of people off-side," James remarked, looking out the window at the glittering lights of the school.

"And why, do you suppose, people are "off-side" with him?"

"Well, he's kind of obsessed with the dark arts, Professor," James told him earnestly, meeting Dumbledore's eyes now. "Remember last year, when he slashed that poor Hufflepuff for staring at him? And… about that other incident?"

Dumbledore nodded again, leaving Lily to ponder the enigmatic incident. Unfortunately she couldn't recall anything in particular.

"Do you have anything to add. Lily?"

Startled, Lily bit her lip. "Well I don't have to wonder that poor Severus is antisocial when he has been continually victimised by certain persons for as long as we've been at Hogwarts."

"He provokes me, Lily! That day at the lake… well I'm sorry about that, but he provokes me just as much as I provoke him!"

Dumbledore did not seem to miss the distinct note of pleading in the Head Boy's voice. Lily remained unimpressed.

"James, do you know who is responsible for today's display?"

James bit his lip. "No," he lied hollowly. "I can't say I know."

Dumbledore sighed, disappointed. "Very well. Thank you for your help. Good night, James, Lily."

They had made their way back to the Head's tower in silence, but James knew better than to expect Lily to remain quiet. Surely enough, scarcely seconds after "Amortentia"had been muttered, and the Carved Witch had swung open, Lily rounded on him.

"You are a big fat liar, James Potter," she told him, eyes flashing. "I know you bewitched that suit of armour."

"Actually, Remus is much better at charms than I am," James said fairly, completely missing the look on the Head Girl's face.

"I knew it! Why can't you just take responsibility for yourselves, for once? Cowards!"

James scowled. "Lily, we may be accomplished liars, and yes, I will categorically deny telling you that. But the Marauders, cowards? How could you?"

"You're too scared to fight your own battles, for one," Lily pointed out scathingly. "You have to hide behind your pranks and let some poor, useless piece of armour take the flack. You called Snape an ugly git, Potter. That's extremely low."

"Sirius prefers to think of it as affectionate."

"POTTER!"

"Well," James appeared to deliberate the point. "We were going to have him sing "You are an evil git" but we thought that might be taking it just a bit far."

"So its ok to call someone ugly?! Do you throw that around often, Potter?"

James bit his lip, increasingly worried by the look on Lily's face. He was afraid that she was nearing the stage of spontaneous combustion.

"Well, yes, we do, to Snape. But we'd never call you ugly, Lil," he told her kindly,

Apparently, this was the wrong thing to say.

"I've had it!" Lily cried, her eyes flashing as she threw her arms up in the air and disappeared up the stairs to her bedroom, slamming the door for affect.

"Artemis Scamander requesting entry, Mr Potter," the carved witch announced, half an hour later.

James scowled. Perfect. Setting down his Care of Magical Creatures homework, he stood up.
"Let him in, I suppose, please."

The Carved Witch swung open and Art stepped inside. James felt bitter that the magnificence of the room seemed to be lost to him. Instead, Scummy marched down the hall, nodded coldly at him, and climbed the stairs. Once he was at Lily's door, he knocked quietly, and was quickly ushered inside. This also gave Lily further opportunity to slam the door.

James sighed. It was going to be a long night.