Alex's POV

I woke up crying. At first I was confused as to where I was, but I quickly forgot about that once I remembered my dream. I started shaking a bit and focused on my breath to try to calm me down, but all I could hear was my stupid heart beat monitor, which started to quicken, hearing it quicken just made my heart beat go faster. A few doctors run in to find me awake and in a panicked state.

They tried to calm me down, but it didn't work. Seeing people that I didn't even know all around me made me more panicked. I saw one of the doctors tell a nurse something and the nurse nodded then speed walked away.

The doctor started putting his hands on me.

The doctors true intentions were to calm me down and stop me from kicking and thrashing around which I had started to do when he put his hand on my shoulder. Images of getting raped from my father went through my head and soon that was all I could feel, see and hear.

The real world was gone.

"NO STOP, PLEASE, STOP!" I screamed. But that only made him enjoy it more.

"Shut up, slut!" He growled.

"Alex! Alex! Alex! ALEX!" I heard a voice yell, and I was snapped back to reality (please tell me someone gets that reference!).

"T-Thomas..?" I stuttered hesitantly.

I had tears streaming down my face and I felt exhausted from all the kicking and screaming I had done.

"Oh, thank God!" He replied in relief, then wrapped me in a tight hug.

I held back a sob, trying to forget all the images that came into my head everytime I closed my eyes.

I felt disgusting (everyday bro). I was tired, hungry, sore, and well, in summary, felt like complete horse shit.

"W-what happened?" I asked, Thomas let go of me and I looked up at him, but I emedietly needed to look away because the moment I saw him, all I could picture was him with a large gun wound in his abdomen and him bleeding out in front of me.

"Well, you saw.... James and I... uh..." Thomas couldn't seem to finish the sentence. Did he know I liked him? I started panicking a little bit which made the heart monitor go up a bit but I forced it back down.

"Yeah, I know that part.." I said, letting him know that he could skip that part of the story.

"Well, then you started running away and then I ran after you and then I couldn't find you and then Burr came around the corner and told me where you went and then I found you and you passed out in the middle of the street! You could've died if I wasn't there!" Thomas yelled.

Maybe that would've been for the better...

"Alex... how could you say something like that..? It wouldn't have been for the better! I would have never forgave myself!" He sad sadly. It seemed genuine, but I knew better than to believe that.

I must have accidently said that out loud... whoops..?

"Anyway, according to the doctors you're badly starved and sleep deprived. Alex, you need to take care of yourself! When was the last time you slept and ate?" Thomas asked in a mother like voice.

"Um.." I thought about it for a little, "I... don't.. remember.." I mumbled.

Thomas sighed, shaking his head, disappointingly.

"You have to sleep and eat everyday, Alex!" Thomas reminded me of common sense, in which I just crossed my arms and rolled my eyes.

"I've been doing just fine without either of them." I stated.

Thomas gave me a look and replied with an "mhm." Reminding me of the state that I'm in.

"Well.... I blame you for this!" I yelled in defense. Throwing my arms in the air. Even that seemed to be taking large amounts of energy from me.

Thomas continued giving me the look but crossed his arms now. "And how is that?" He questioned.

"Maybe if you didn't kiss James then I wouldn't have started running and wouldn't have passed out and I wouldn't be in the hospital right now!" I accused.

"Well why'd you even run away after James and I kissed?!" Thomas yelled back.

Then there was silence.

Thomas was glaring at me and I couldn't bare to look at him so I looked down. I felt tears brim my eyes knowing that it's already too late to even try to see if we could have even had a chance. I knew that there was no point in telling my feelings anymore, but I couldn't find any possible excuse that would seem believable. My heart beat started to quicken feeling Thomas's burning glare on me. My mind raced but I couldn't think of any possible answer except for the truth.

"Ugh, nevermind! I'll jus-" Thomas started, I was going to let him finish but my mouth and heart decided to work together against my will and cut him off.

"BECAUSE I LOVE YOU-" I covered my mouth with my hands. Welp, too late now. The cats already our of the bag, down the street, over the mountain, through the canyon, and deep at the bottom of the ocean where it can never be retrieved again until it's forgotten about or dead.

Thomas, didn't answer me and I refused to even glance up at him.

I was about to speak again when the door opened. I looked up and froze. Fear clearly plastered on my face. Despite my still body on the outside, the inside was freaking out and racing, my heart beat went up and my mind swirled with thoughts and I didn't know what to do.

"Hello, son."

Hehe, you're welcome for yet again another cliff hanger! So after this story is finished (who knows when that will be), I have A LOT of stories for after I'm done this book. Some of them Jamilton and some of them not part of the Hamilton fandom. But I'll do a vote for which story you guys would like next. I'll just tell you the titles and then you guys will choose. But I'm really proud of this picture I drew that's going to be the cover for one of the Jamilton books I have planned and I wanted to show you guys what it looks like before I draw it and while I'm proud of it XD so here ya go!

Word Count: 1,086