Minion Five's voice crackles in the communicators. "All clear out front."

Hefting his handgun, Minion Two stares longingly at the door into the vault room. "Are we sure we don't have time to just do a little light robbery while we're here?"

"Stay focused," Minion One calls from where he's helping Minion Three plant explosives at the bases of all the ostentatious marble pillars that every bank in Big City seems to have.

"I'm focused! I'm just saying, the vault is right there. I can hear it calling to me. Can't you?" Mimicking a longing whisper, Minion Two moans, "Minions! Miniooonnss! This is your buddy, the vault! I'm full of money! More money than I can possibly need! This money is just waiting for you to come pick it up! Think about how much pizza you could buy with this cash!"

Unhooking another explosive device from his belt, Minion Three says, "After we've set the traps, I'll see about the vault door, okay?"

"We're not here for the vault!" Minion One bellows, waving his modified rifle wildly. "Keep your mind on the job, Minions!"

"You know, I'm really not sure we should have let One be in charge," Four mutters to Two, casually smashing a teller's computer into smithereens with the butt of his ridiculously oversized gun. "It's going to his head."

"Poor guy can't handle all the pressure," Minion Two agrees sadly. Lifting his own gun, he fires three bullets into the offensively cheerful WELCOME TO BIG CITY BANK WE HOPE YOU HAVE A SMASHING DAY sign that hangs across the lobby. The bullets shred the cloth, and the banner droops pitifully from one end.

This bank is nicer than the one they helped Professor Force lose to White Squall in--fancier computers, more gold trim on the columns, a whole mural of anthropomorphic animals on the ceiling. How nice this bank is probably isn't something to be proud of, but they're kind of proud of it anyway.

"Had to take care of a stray cat, but alley is also clear," says Minion Six into the communicators. "Securing back entrance now."

"And where are our guests?" Minion One asks.

"Tracking shows the car on patrol a few blocks west of 14th Street."

"Roger that. Keep working, we've got some time."

Minion Two kicks the legs out from under a chair. It hits the floor with a thunk. "14th Street? That's so far away."

"Not to bust anyone's balls, but did we consider that there may be other, easier targets for Work Smart to take out tonight? What if she doesn't even show up?"

"Definitely intending to bust some balls with this one. What if we were wrong about her being the creator of Henchr?" Minion Three says, clicking the button to arm one of the explosives. "Then she won't be showing up at all."

"That's why we should just break into the vault."

The communicator crackles. "Shit shit shit, WE'VE GOT COMPANY--"

THUD. The Minions all wince as the noise reverberates in their ears.

"Five!" shouts Minion One. "What happened? Everyone, get--"

SKKKSHHH. The front doors explode inwards in an ear-splitting cascade of shattering glass. The Minions duck for cover, arms flying up to protect their heads. After a moment the dust begins to clear. One by one, the Minions risk a glance up.

In the now-open doorway stands White Squall, wings outstretched to their full, actually quite impressive width. A mysterious wind ruffles her white feathers threateningly and whips her long blonde hair around her face. Framed imposingly by the streetlights behind, she stalks inside, dragging Minion Five by the collar. Well, more like hobbles inside. Her enormous, taloned bird feet were not made for walking.

"Give up now, Villain!" she shouts. The uncertainty her voice held when she faced Professor Force is gone now, replaced by soaring confidence. She flings Minion Five forward. His limp body skids into the middle of the room, smearing blood across the white marble floors. "White Squall is here to put an end to your evil ways!"

"What's going on?" Minion Six shouts into the communicator.

"Five is down. We're off to a great start," Minion Three sighs, fumbling for his smoke bombs.

"She just threw him like that was nothing. Was she that strong before?" Minion Two asks in a high-pitched whisper. "I don't remember her being that strong."

"But-- 14th Street--" Minion One sputters.

"Car is at 13th now, actually," Minion Six says. "We probably should have considered the fact that Valery might be driving and Weather Stick might come another way. Like flying. Because, you know. Wings."

White Squall stalks inside, hands balled into fists, eyes darting around to survey the damage. "You can't hide forever! I know you're in here! Show yourself!"

From their hiding places between splintered desks and marble columns, the Minions all glance at each other.

"What do I do?" Minion One whispers helplessly into the communicator.

"You wanted to be Villain. You have to face her." Minion Four hisses.

"Just because I'm Villain doesn't mean we're not all in this together--"

Minion Three shoves Minion One in the back. He stumbles out into view, and White Squall spins around, fixing him with her suddenly intimidating glare. She looks him up and down. Her silver brows draw together in confusion.

"Oh. I was, uh. Looking for someone called Villain."

Minion One clear his throat and draws himself up to his full diminished height, brandishing his gun menacingly. "You can't stop me," he says uncertainly. "The money in this bank belongs to me now!"

White Squall looks even more confused. "Wait, so you are Villain?"

"Of course I'm Villain!" Minion One says, offended. "I'm Villain and I'm here to do, uh, villainous things. Isn't that obvious from the fact that I've broken into a bank?" He gestures at the destruction.

"Oh! Okay. No, it's just that, I mean, I thought Villain was a new, um, villain, and that outfit is a little dated. Those shoulder pads are just--" She makes a face. "Did you pay someone to design that for you? Because yikes."

Minion Two lets out a bark of laughter. In the communicator, Minion Six says, "Is it bad that I kinda like her? Yeah, it's bad, isn't it."

Minion One scowls, adjusting his enormous, acid-green goggles self-consciously. "Can we just get to the part where you try to stop me?"

"Yes. Of course. Sorry." Clearing her throat, White Squall throws out her wings again. A small silver orb rolls out from behind a pillar and bumps gently into her feet. Caught up in her theatrics, she doesn't notice. "Prepare to meet your justice, villain-- Uh, Villain!"

FshhhOOM. Smoke billows up around her, obscuring her entirely in an instant. The Minions scramble to find their positions, but there's a WHOOSH of wings and moments later the smoke clears entirely to reveal White Squall ten feet in the air, wings beating furiously. The Minions freeze mid-step, all still in full view.

"Is that the best you can do?" she shouts.

Minion Three discards the whole bag of smoke bombs and ducks behind the nearest column.

Minion Two fires at the ceiling. Ksh. A net falls, hitting White Squall squarely and entangling her wings. She hits the ground hard, grunting. Seconds later, the net is a shredded mess at her feet and she jumps into the air again.

"Wow, really impressive work so far, everybody," Minion Four says. "I'm so proud to be a part of this talented team."

"Shut up, Four." Minion One looks around as though expecting backup, then hoists his upgraded rifle and shoots. He aims for the wings, but White Squall drops, then zoom straight at him, talons extended, and how did he forget about how scary those talons are because they are HUGE and TERRIFYING--

He ducks. Claws drag along the back of his bulletproof vest with a skkrrrree, peeling long strips out of the material which is maybe not so protective as it was made out to be. He roars, "What are you doing, Minions? The plan!"

"Do you guys need some help in there?"

"No! Stay in position, Six! Four--"

"He's gone power-mad," Four mutters.

"FOUR!"

Ducking out from behind the teller's desk, Minion Four takes careful aim for White Squall's legs. His huge gun kicks. With a flap of feathers, she dodges and he almost gets her in the shoulder instead. Rock chips spray from the wall behind her. "This would be easier if we were just trying to kill her," he complains.

"Do you want Ishana to never talk to us again?" Minion Two asks as he crawls from one pillar to the next, wind from White Squall's wings tearing at his suit. "Because killing her girlfriend is a good way to get her to never talk to us again." A bullet strikes beside him, shooting marble chips into his cheeks. He winces. They sting worse than paper cuts.

Minion Three hastily pushes the button to activate the last explosive, then tucks himself into an alcove along the back wall from which he can see the whole room. He fumbles the detonator out of his fanny pack. "I'm in position."

"Two?"

"Ready."

"Okay, Minions--" Minion One spins to safety behind a pillar. White Squall swishes harmlessly past. He adjusts his goggles, then hefts his gun again. "Let's unmask this Weak Snitch."

The communicator fills up with loathsome laughter.

Minion Two braces himself against the wall and aims carefully. He breathes out slowly, watching White Squall swoop and flap as One and Four fire at her. White feathers litter the floor between broken computer monitors and chunks of marble, but if her easy agility is any indication, they haven't hit her properly yet.

Pop pop pop! Three more bullets sail past harmlessly past the tips of White Squall's wings.

Minion Four pauses to reload. She dives at him, talons outstretched. He scrambles for safety. She crunches into the desk, collapsing it into a mess of splinters. Bullets zipping past, she struggles to extract her claws from the wreckage.

"Second column on the left!" Minion Two shouts, and Minion Three slams the detonator.

BOOM. The second column on the left crumbles. A chunk of marble the size of her head smashes White Squall on her left shoulder. Shouting with pain, she falls hard to one knee amidst the rubble.

Minion Four leaps to his feet. He took a hit, too, and a gash in his forearm streams blood, but he seizes a knife from his belt and slashes at her wings. The tips of several feathers float to the floor.

"No!" Huge wings thrash frantically. Wind gusts, then howls. Minion Four is thrown against the wall like a ragdoll. He slumps to the ground, gun tumbling from his slack hands.

"Four is down!" Minion One shouts over the screeching wind.

White Squall soars into the air, chunks of desk still impaled on her steak-knife talons. "This ends here, Villain!" she screams. She seems shaken by the close call.

Enormous wings flap madly. The hurricane wind lifts debris and hurls it around, tumbling chunks of marble and wood shards as long as swords slicing through the air.

"Third and fourth columns on the right!" Minion Two screams into the communicator.

Minion Three detonates the bombs. The columns shatter, but the wind sucks up the falling pieces and slams one of them straight into Minion Two's head. He goes down hard.

"Fuck!" Minion Three growls. "We are so fucked. I can't believe we're losing to a teenage girl! AGAIN!"

The wind makes Minion Five's limbs shake where he still lies prone in the middle of the floor.

"Sounds like you're having a real party in there, but I've got some more bad news," Minion Six says over the communicator. "Tracking device shows the car coming our way, fast. Wife Shout is about to have backup."

Squinting against the gale, Minion One aims for any part of White Squall he can see amidst the chaos of flying computer parts and dust thick as smoke, no longer worried about whether he might kill her. He just needs to hit her. A chair tumbles over his head and slams into the wall behind him, but he doesn't flinch.

"Steady," he whispers.

"We should run," bellows Minion Three.

"I have her!" Minion One fires once, then twice. A scream cracks above the wailing wind. The whirling dust turns faintly pink. "Finally!"

On the other side of the room, Minion Four stirs, fumbles weakly for his gun. "Sorry. Just had to take a little nap," he mumbles, pressing to his knees. He freezes as White Squall lets out a hideous shriek.

She plummets straight onto Minion One, her talons sinking deep into his chest.

The conscious Minions all feel it as he dies, a wrench in their guts like nausea, or getting stabbed. Still woozy from being knocked out, Minion Four vomits, all over the floor and his hands. Minion Three's pants give him a wedgie as he grows three inches.

The wind drops as suddenly as it came. All the debris thuds to the floor. White Squall stares down at the empty clothes torn to pieces by her talons. Her right arm is bleeding, thick streams of crimson dripping from her fingertips to pool at her feet. Probably all the blood that drained out of her face, leaving it ghost-white.

Minion four wipes the puke off his hands onto his pants and staggers to his feet.

"Guys? Who died? Is anyone still there? Guys? One? Three? Anyone?"

"I killled him," White Squalls says, and suddenly she doesn't look so much like a hero, just a scared teenage girl. "Oh my god. I killed him. No, I didn't mean to-- Please, no--"

Minion One's rifle begins to play "I Will Survive" at top volume. White Squall jumps three feet in the air, the Villain uniform dangling from her talons.

Minion Three lunges at her and slams a grenade into her temple. Her eyes roll back into her head. She crumples to the floor, her pale blonde hair spreading out daintily around her. Squatting down beside her, he tears her mask off. Wynter's face looks calm, as though she's sleeping.

"It's her," he says grimly.

Their phone lies amongst the tattered remains of the Villain costume. Minion Three grabs it and snaps a photo of her. Stepping back, he turns the phone, trying to get the whole width of her flaccid wings in the shot. Minion One's gun continues to play its jaunty disco tune.

Minion four plods through the carnage to Minion Five and turns him over. He's lost a lot of blood, great pools of it spreading out around him. If this had gone on any longer, he would have died, too. There's no triumph in this victory. "Please stop the music," he says wearily, and the gun goes silent. "Ishana is going to hate us for this, isn't she?"

"Somebody tell me what's going on, right the fuck now."

Minion Four and MInion Three exchange a look. Minion Three reaches for his communicator. "White Squall is down. We have proof of her identity."

"Oh. Good. Because Valery is here."

The Minions spin around. Framed by the shattered glass in the doorway stands a man in a white-and-gold costume. He's even got shimmery gold lipstick on. All around him, the air seems filled with floating specks of glitter.

It's Valiant Virgin.

"Oh, fuck me," Minion Three says loudly.