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"Call Dr.Batra Mahir! Ask him what's this??", Vyom said again.
"Yes Mahir Call him!", prompted Suhani.
I was numb as I held the white colored papers, screaming disaster in my ears.

They were Bela's blood reports.
"Sickle Cell Anemia", highlighted in the centre.
She was suffering this. Alone and deprived. No one was with her except Mahira.
I will be damned to rot in hell, for inflicting this on her.
The person I have loved more than myself, was undergoing so much and I had no clue about it.

A lone tear escaped my eyes.
And may be that didn't go unnoticed by Vyom as he approached me suddenly, "Mahir... don't worry let's talk to the doctor. There must be a solution to this. I am very sure.", he was patting my back.
No matter how much I despised him, he was all I needed right now.
With no more second thoughts,I hugged him.
"Vyom! Bela is my life...", I managed to utter between my croaky voice.
"I know... everyone knows this.... don't worry, it'll be fine!"
His comforting words did reach me, and I managed to stand on my feet.
"I'll meet him directly.", I said as I dialled Bela's dad number to meet him immediately.

Just when I was about to go, I heard Mahira, who was currently in Suhani's lap, "Dadda!"
She stretched her hands towards me, as a signal to come to me.
I forwarded towards her and picked her up.
"Dadda kicchi!",she leaned in and kissed the tip of my nose.

There are many instances, my daughter reminds me of her mother.
Her chocolate brown hairs, her frown, her habit of clutching my shirt while sleeping, her habit of kissing my nose, her love towards chocolates, her growing red in anger, everything.
What she inherited from me was the color of her eyes, a birthmark on her neck, my habit of playing with my hairs, my habit of sniffing now and then, hating fruits etc.

In all, my daughter turned out to be a delicious and wonderful combination of both of us. And we couldn't help but admire her in all senses.

"Dadda!", She snuggled closer and hid her face in my neck. She was sleepy and I could tell that.

I turned to Vyom and Suhani, "Thank you both of you. I don't think Bela would have ever revealed this to anyone. I'll try to sort it out."
Vyom nodded in my direction and came forward, "Anytime bro! You know you have my back always."
I hesitantly nodded and then the two left.

It was almost 10 at the night but I still wanted to meet the doctor, so I decided to drop Mahira with Bela, because she was sleeping now, and traveling with me will disturb her sleep again and again.

I didn't knock like usual, and went in.

After I burnt my mouth with the food, Bela talked to me out of concern.
I was on top of the world, unless she realized what she did, and turned her back to me.

  - She's hurt. And ill. You can't expect better.

I nodded and then scanned the room.

May be she was in her bedroom.
I marched towards the bedroom only to find the door ajar.
I went in, but there was no one.
She wasn't in the washroom too.

I then walked towards the study.

Bela loves writing.
She generally performed the writing works at Vyom's. She was a well reputed online blogger.
She used to write for a monthly magazine and she received a good payment for that. She was a well to do woman.

When I reached the study and opened the door, I found her sitting at the recliner of the window and writing something.

It was then I realized that I never came in this part of her penthouse.
I looked around the room and saw something, that had my breath hitched.

There was a picture on the wall.
Mine and hers.
The same one, I threw out of the window, on that mishap made day.
I felt something painful in my heart. It twitched.
Just near that one, was a picture of me and Mahira.
Something hit me hard, and I stumbled back.
Had I not been holding my daughter right now, I would have run away. The coward I was!
Hell!

  - She won today! And you lose... brutally!

I felt my face getting heated up again.

Out of all the things in this world, I don't expect love from her. Atleast now!

We are torn apart!

My reverie was broken as I heard some shuffling.
And then in no time, my eyes met hers.

It took me the effort of this world to stop myself from hugging her comfort.
She was not well. And her said were yelling this.
She was hurt. Her eyes were yelling that too.

  - Only if you read those eyes, before it was too late.

Her eyes widened in realization as she saw my eyes darting towards the pictures on the adjacent wall.

I wanted to scream right now.
Out of happiness, that she still values our dead relationship.
Out of guilt, that I realized it too late.
Out of hatred for myself, that I was the reason things were so wrong between us.

She marched towards me, blocking the view.

Me, at this hour, with Mahira means I got an emergency at work, and I need to leave, dropping Mahira with her.
She forwarded her hand to get Mahira, avoiding to look at my eyes.
But it was too late!

In her hand, was a notebook, titled
"MY HEART SPILLS", and by the style of font and cover, I knew it that this is her new work, or may be a bit older.

I stood there even after she took Mahira from me.
Mahira stirred a bit while she left me, and so her mother was cooing her to sleep.
"Sleep baby, mumma's here!"
And the little toddler was hell obedient while sleeping.

All this while, I couldn't help but stare at the pictures on the wall.
I would like to put a picture of Mahira with both her mumma, dadda here. Only if that's possible!

She cleared her throat, snapping me out of my reverie.
"I have something very important to do, and I don't think I'll be back before midnight. Her bottle is in your bedroom and..!"
She looked up expecting me to complete.

And I did it.
"... your eyes still betray you."

She snapped her head in my direction, and something flickered in her eyes, something familiar, but as soon as it appeared, she drew her eyes apart.

Keeping her things in the cupboard, that includes her pen, notebook, novels, she walked past me, out of the study.

With her dad, I reached to Dr. Batra's office.

"Mahir!? This is so hard...how can Bela do such thing to herself!?"
"It's because of me dad!"
"Don't blame yourself son...we need to talk to her doctor. Why did she hide this from us?"
"May be she didn't want to bother us.", I answered monotonously although a havoc was going on in me.
"Don't worry son! We'll sort it out.", He assured however he himself was unsure of what the future has in store for us.

~~
"Mahir! I hate hospitals.."
"You hate injections!"
"Okay that even...but please stop insisting on bringing me here.."
"Take it as a date...", I trailed off smirking at her.
"Date my foot!", She stomped her foot.

We were in the third year of our graduation when she suddenly started having feeling feverish.
Like always, she hid it from me thinking I would freak out.
However, I did freak out.

She held my hands so tight, that her nails dug my skin, while the doctor was injecting medicine.
I had to kiss her a million times that day, to distract her from the pain in her arms.

~~

How is she going to bear all the treatment here!?
I flinched at the thought, when I felt a comforting hand over my shoulder.
"Doctor is here." Dad said and we went in immediately.
My heart still throbbing in pain.

"Hello Mr. Mahir and Mr. Sharma!"
"Hello doctor! I am Bela's dad and he's my son in law...", Good that he still considers me so.
I kept her reports before the doctor, "Doctor! Bela hasn't told anything to anyone about this. This can be fatal for not only her, but us to. Please tell her everything in detail. And what can we do to get rid of this."
He nodded, "Mr. Mahir! Bela is my patient and as according to my principles I should keep everything about her a secret. But her case is a bit complicated. And I would like her family to stay by her at that time."

Dad spoke up next because I had no power, "What is it doctor?"

The doctor cleared his throat and began.

"So as you have already read through, this disorder is called 'Sickle cell Anemia'.
The red blood cells, on of the main constituents of blood becomes sickle shaped, losing it's originally disc structure and hence the capability to hold heamoglobin. And hence leading to fatal weakness and eventually... you know....!"

I couldn't hold my head high.
My eyes were threatening to flow.

"In Mrs. Bela's case, things got complicated after her pregnancy.", My head snapped up.
"Yeah! Mrs. Bela was in a complicated pregnancy...", He declared.
"No doctor! It wasn't.....Mahira is very normal, and even Bela was...", I tried to say but he stopped me..
"Mr. Mahir. Your wife wanted to have this child at any cost. Her gynecologist is my wife's friend. After I got Bela's case, I contacted her and she told me so. She was ready to have the baby, as far as the baby is fine. Luckily both of them did survive, except the effects on Bela's body."
Earth swept down my feet, and I could feel nothing but numbness.

It didn't take me time to realize that Bela wanted Mahira at any cost, because Mahira was the last tie that held us together. She is the only symbol of our love, only memory of us together!
A fresh tear rolled down my cheek and my head bent in defeat.

"Just a month before, she came to me telling the various symptoms and so we decided to get a high resolution blood test.
The final confirmation required more tests and the real thing was told to her just five days ago."
The day I found her unconscious.

"There must be some solution to this!? Some treatment!? Doctor we can afford everything! I want my daughter to be fine again!", Dad said desperately in his croaked voice.

"There is...", I looked up immediately.
"What it is doctor!?"
"Blood transfusions..."
"Oh okay...no problem doctor...what are we waiting for!?", I said excitedly.
"Mrs. Bela needs O-ve blood, which is comparitivly rare, and hence there's a problem."
"We can always buy the blood!?", Dad stated it.
"No! We had to have a single donor for all the ten blood transfusions. Since Mrs. Bela is still a second degree case, she can recover with blood transfusions, however no guarantee. But having a blood donor of good potential, who could give her thirty bottles of blood would increase the chances."
Dad said, "Doctor! May be there's someone who's willing to do so. I mean there are people in desperate need of money, and I promise to savior their whole life if they do so for my daughter!"
"Sir! Life is an important thing. Thirty bottles will be a great sacrifice from a person, who doesn't even know her properly. Plus, it's hard to get people in commitment. What if they change their mind in the middle of the treatment!? We won't be able to treat her. Rather that will worsen the case!"
He took a deep sigh and then began, "We are desperately searching for someone who could do so. But that would be fatal for the donor also. People are turning down the offer just because of the deadly risk here."

"What will we do then doctor!?", Dad asked him.
"May be just wait...."
"...and watch her dying!?", I completed.

I stood up, "Doctor! Get this thing straight in your head! Bela is my life! If anything happens to her, I won't be able to take a single breath. We have a daughter too! Her life will be destroyed!...How will...!", O stopped as dad held my hand.

"Mahir! Calm down son! She'll be fine...just believe in God! Bela is a gem of a person. She's born to survive. She'll recover through this!", Dad calmed me down.
"Yes Mr. Mahir! There's definitely a solution to this, we just have to figure it out!"

We sat there and began thinking. Something that could solve our problem.

~~
"Mahir! You are my 'knight in the shining armour'!", She declared kissing my cheeks.
"Novel hangover!? Huh!?"
"No man! You always save me...be it my homework, scoldings, lectures, periods, fevers, confusions everything!", She said as she laid her head on my lap.
"So... you like me for that!"
"I love you for that!", She snuggled her face in my stomach, hugging my waist to herself.
"So! What do you expect this 'knight in the shining armor' to do for you 'lady'?", I mimicked a fake Italian ascent.
"Umm...wash my clothes!", She giggled snuggling close to me..
"Oh! That's what he does in your novel!", I scoffed.
"No he saves her from a brutal human trafficking gang!", She was serious in a second, "...and she got shot! And then he saved her running to the hospital holding her in his arms."
"K...he should have taken a car!", I reasoned.
She smacked my hand, "You kill the beauty of my novels! I won't discuss them with you now!"

~~

Wheels turned in my head.
It was time to fulfill those promises, we made to each other.

"Doctor! I want to be the donor. I am luckily O group!", I declared it and both the heads snapped in my direction.
"Mahir!?", Dad's eyes widened in shock.
"Yes dad! I want to...I hope you trust me with this...I want to give Bela my blood!"
I want to be her 'knight in the shining armor' again!
"But Mr.Mahir! This can be dangerous for you too...when Bela undergoes treatment, you will have to look after your daughter."
"It is dangerous, but not more than seeing Bela dying! And about Mahira, my daughter will be our strength throughout and not the obstruction."
The doctor turned to dad, "What do you say Mr. Sharma!?"
Dad was in dilemma and I can see that.

"Mahir is as precious to me as Bela! I can't decide this!", He held his head and looked down on the Earth.
"Think about Mahira dad! She needs both of us. And I can't afford to let her lose any one of us, especially not Bela!", I said determined.
"But Mahir...!"
"I love her dad...!", I said directing it for Bela.
"Okay... I am with you!"
I smiled triumphantly.

The doctor turned to me and said, "Mr. Mahir! That's a big decision on your part. I couldn't help admiring the love you have for her. We need some paper work and then some tests on you. And then we can begin the blood transfusions!"

"There will be total of 10 blood transfusions in the period of five months. Each time, we'll take three bottles of blood from you and transfuse into her. She'll be recovering for the better!", He was happy.

Dad nodded happily and stood up to hug me, "No matter what happens between you both, you never let me regret choosing you for her!"
He patted my back.

"Now I'll inform Bela that we found a donor for her, and she is going to have a happy life ahead!"
As I heard this, something ticked in my mind.

I just had a slight burn in my mouth and she broke this eighteen months silence between us, her eyes overflowing with concern.
Any time before, when I got a cut or hurt my knuckles in gym, she would freak out like I am dying.
A scratch on my knee will be same to her as a sword in my chest.
How will she react on knowing that I am going to donate thirty bottles of blood to her!?

"Wait doctor! She doesn't need to know!?"
"Huh!?"
"What!?"
Both of them looked at me.
"I mean she may know that she have got a donor, but not that I am the one. You can say it's my condition.", I said to both of them.
"But Mahir! Do you think Bela will let it go this easily...", Dad reasoned.
"I know she will not, but we will have to manage that! I can't let her know that I am the donor."
"That's fine...if you want that..may be we can think of something.", Doctor said, "We can inform her that she's got a donor, who's not comfortable in revealing his identity."
"Yes! That's fine."

All this while, dad was looking at me with narrowed eyes.
I know he'll make out, whatever I have in my mind.
We took the doctor's cabin and got in my car.
"Mahir! Now tell me the truth!? What is it that you need to hide this from Bela?"

I took a deep sigh.
Even I don't know why I don't want the acknowledgement, but it's just that I don't want it.
"Dad...me and Bela are no more husband and wife. I am not entitled to do anything for her. Neither is she for me. If she'll come to know that I am doing this, she'll take it as a favour from me. However, she isn't aware that by doing this, I am doing a favour to myself, and not her! For me...for Mahira!"

When I turned to look at him, I found him smiling.
"Why are you smiling dad!?", I asked.
"...just few days before, I was trying to insert some senses in you, and today, it feels I should learn from you! Bela is lucky to have you..."
"She's no more having me...we are broken..", that's an unavoidable reality of my life.
"Only on papers!", My head turned towards dad automatically.

Only on papers- I wouldn't mind believing that our relationship still lives in our hearts. Our relationship was still legal between our souls.

This thing relieved me to a great extent. God knows why!

Life was giving me another chance.
I don't know the truth. I don't know if Bela was wrong or not. But I love her and that's what I believe in the most.
I don't want to know anything, I don't want any explanation, I just want a chance, to shower my love on her!

Because no matter how far we push each other, we can't abstain our own selves from drifting towards the other.

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