I had conditioned my body to never react in front of others, but this absolutely knocked me off balance and made it almost hard for my lungs to work. It felt like ice was being poured down my throat and that every part of my body was being hacked through by shards of pure steel.

I stood up straight. My throat tightened as my heart pounded. Please let me have mistaken what Claud had just said.

"I don't know what you mean." I was able to talk despite my tight throat.

Claud let out a low laugh, shaking his head ever so slightly. "Princess. Let's not start lying to each other."

I turned to him again, plastering my millionth smile of the day on my face. How my foundation didn't crack was a phenomenon I still had to crack.

"I believe I will go to bed for the evening."

Claud didn't even hide his laugh this time around. He laughed heartily, with his head thrown back. He exaggeratedly wiped an unseen tear from his eye, displaying his usual flare for attention. "Damn, princess. If I didn't know you were taken I'd kiss you senselessly on this table right now."

I scowled at his crude remark and pondered how he ever felt confident enough to say anything like that out loud. Our previous conversations were typically chilly and sparse, but it was obvious that he wanted to alter the direction of the track. It didn't make me happy. All of these guys, who are connected to my most beloved father, are raped. Some monumental things had to shift in the universe for me to even consider ever befriending any of his associates.

"I'm not taken." I complied since I didn't like how aware he was of my personal life. The only person who was aware of my late-night activities was Lorna, since nothing escaped her notice. I kept it from everyone else because the repercussions would be too severe.

Claud raised his water glass and smiled.

I used the opportunity to get up from my chair and give my father a quick look. He was looking at me once again, but this time, I truly didn't care about his terrible lecture that would undoubtedly follow if I got up from the table.

I struggled to go against the respect he had so forcefully instilled in me as I cocked my head in his direction. If I wasn't so weak I would have just turned around and not spared him one single look.

I waited... and waited. A few seconds passed before he returned a small incline of his head - effortlessly dismissing me at his own pace.

I turned around, gather my dress and speedily hightailed it out the dining room.Although I could hear footsteps behind me, I knew they were coming from Lorna because of how little and delicate they were. She would seldom leave my side on days like these.

Even at her age, she caught up quickly. "To bed?" As we reached the top of the steps, she questioned.

The furthest room in this home, my bedroom, was the first stop as we turned the corner. It took me a while to realise that my father didn't want me to be close to him, but now I value the separation. It prevented me from walloping in my silly emotions and kept me grounded.

"Yes," I said. "Will you stay with me?" I asked her softly, refusing to look at her. She knew why I was asking. And each time, she said "yes."

A few hours later, I was curled up in bed, my eyelids closing naturally. I had my alarm set for 11:30pm, giving me thirty minutes to meet up with him.

Lorna took her little knitting basket out from behind my desk and settled into her favourite chair. Only the little light next to her remained on when she turned off the others.

My door creaked open slightly, but not enough for sleep to totally intrude on my consciousness. Their laboured breathing and loud footsteps as they entered were audible to me. The closer they became, the more I could feel their vengeful eyes on me.

"How can I help you?" Lorna said from the back of my room.

I had my eyes still closed but I was fully awake again. This is what we were expecting. It always occurred after each event my father hosts.

"Can't I check on my niece after she left the dinner so abruptly?"

"She is sleeping now. Try again tomorrow at breakfast." Lorna silenced him.

I felt like throwing up. If there was anything this man could make me feel, it was being sick to my stomach. This guy would serve as the face and body of evil.

"I will see her in the morning." said my uncle.

*****I sat down on the seat, pulling my jeans jacket closer to my body and kept my eyes fixed front. My heart started to warm as I sat there, looking at nothing but complete blackness that stretched into a distance my eyes couldn't see.

My hip was softly touched by a hand, which drew me into his solid frame. He moved when I was near enough for him to reach my neck with his fingers through my hair. Then, after tightening his hold, he drew me in so that our lips were almost touching.

I anticipated the next events. Every time, it occurred only a few seconds after midnight. His cool lips lightly touched mine, sending a tingling sensation.

He placed his large hand on my exposed knees and lightly squeezed it. I had one and only one purpose for donning a skirt. Every time he touched me, I felt good. Our skin-to-skin contact was to me like a narcotic, and every night, I desired whatever amount of time he gave me, no matter how little.

His long and slender fingers came perilously near to contacting my centre with only a little upward movement. Instead, he did what he usually did and twisted his hand around to grasp my inner thigh.

I needed to kiss him because I was out of breath and wanted to satisfy that craving. "Calm down, beautiful." He laughed, his deep voice sounding to my ears like a soothing tune. I questioned how the rest of the world was surviving if attraction was this bad.

Although our ongoing need and chemistry was bordering on abnormal, I embraced it.

Everything in my life, from my profession to my personal life, was in order and under control. So if there was anywhere I could let loose, it was with this man. As much as creating a safe zone for me to explode, him alone brought those feelings out from me.

"Good morning," I whispered, noting how our lips brushed against each others.

"Good morning." He responded back, giving my thigh another squeeze which I felt go straight to my core.

His lips tenderly pressed against mine, almost like it wanted to commit it to memory before devouring me. And wow, is he good at it. Within a few seconds, he fully captured my lips in his own. The violent attack engulfed me in an unending depth of heat and buzzing nerves like a warm blanket.

In an effort to feel that contact, my fingers fought against his shirt's hem. He let me the privilege of touching him, and I couldn't get enough of it. I desired him. I've always desired him.

A moan slipped out from between us, lost between the both of us. One hand lifted up to the side of my face, skimming my skin before running itself through my hair. I felt the slight tug when he grabbed the back of my head, pulling down so slightly.

Our lips parted, and I looked up at him as my chest heaved. He looked down at me and rasped, "Fuck me," his eyes gliding over every aspect of my face.

I watched him lean down and grab my lower lip with his teeth, giving it a firm nip. My back continued to arch toward him until I was completely pushed against him.

He grinned, "So responsive," but quickly drew away.

Within seconds, I felt his heat leaving me. I immediately cleared my throat when suddenly my pride chose to show itself once again.

I sat back in my seat and fixed my hair, acting as though nothing was bothering me and that my heart was about to leap out from my chest.

"So, Ellie, how was your day?"

"Fine, yours?"

He went quiet for a few moments. "You don't sound so fine."

I hummed to myself, not sure if I wanted to disclose that much to him. He only knew my name, and nothing more. He was not aware of the realities of my life- and how I was sneaking out to see him even with my big age. Times like this I longed to have my own space and my own life, where I could tease him and ask him to come over to mine. My fantasies always drove me insane with the endless possibilities of having him in my own personal space.

But I knew none of that were ever going to be a reality for me. Leaving my father's grasps seemed impossible.

"You going to tell me?" He asked softly. And I really did. I wanted to open my mouth and tell him every single dirty secret of mine. 

I faced away from him and shook my head.