Jackson wakes up after a short nap. Though he can't really call it a nap as he kept tossing and turning. He didn't really sleep, he fell asleep but woke up after 20 minutes, then fell asleep again after tossing and turning some more and so it went on for a couple of hours. Every time he woke up his head was throbbing with a horrible headache.

Jackson felt frustrated because he couldn't sleep well. Every time he woke up again he felt his head aching and the tears almost fell down his cheeks again. He tries to keep it in for the sake of Mark. He doesn't want to burden his boyfriend with all his feelings. All Jackson wants is for this to be over, though he also knows this is just the beginning.

Mark is awake all the time and he watches Jackson rest in his arms. He brushes his hand through his boyfriend's hair and he says some sweet and calming things to Jackson when he sees that Jackson is awake.

When Jackson decides to give up on taking a nap, Mark hugs him a little tighter. "We are going to go through this together baby, I will be here every step of the road. No matter what, I will be here." He says and kisses Jackson's forehead softly.

"I know, I just can't believe this happened. I can't believe he's gone. I can't believe I will never see him again." He tries to hold himself back from crying. A tear slips from his eye.

"Oh, baby, it's okay. Shh." Mark tries to shush him. He pulls Jackson up in a sitting position and he sits up himself aswell. Jackson embraces Mark with both of his arms and he hides his face in the crook of Mark's neck, pulling himself up into Mark's lap as he cries. Mark embraces Jackson tightly as he rocks them back and forth, petting his back.

"I just can't believe he is gone. I loved him so much. Now he is just gone, I can never do anything with him again, Mark. I can't see him. I can't touch him. I can't tell him about you. He can't meet you. I can't tell him about my life, about my struggles. I can't tell him how much I love him. I can't tell him how thankful I am for him." Jackson sobs through his words.

"I know baby, I know. It isn't easy. I know how you feel. I know it might seem like he is gone. In a way he is, but he will always stay here." Mark pulls away, his left hand supporting Jackson's waist. He lifts his left hand up to Jackson's chest and points at Jackson's heart. He draws a heart with his index finger on the place where Jackson's heart is. Mark stares at Jackson, as Jackson stares at Mark's finger on his chest. Jackson is still sobbing and he lets out another broken cry as Mark traces the heart on his chest. He watches the finger make the shape over again. He watches his tears fall on Mark's finger.

"He will always stay there." Mark says softly. Mark has tears in his own eyes. He knows how it is to be in Jackson's state. He knows how it is to loose someone so close to you, to cry your eyes out until there are no tears left. He looks at his boyfriend who is still looking at his finger, which is still tracing the pattern on his heart.

Mark moves his index finger to lift Jackson's chin. He cups Jackson's right cheek and wipes Jackson's tears. He repeats the action a couple of times making sure to make his cheek dry. He does the same to his other cheek. Jackson has calmed down a little bit but he is still crying. Jackson tries to catch his breath while still letting some tears fall.

"I just can't believe it. He has been taken away from me so fast. I didn't even get to say goodbye." Jackson mutters.

"You will get that chance sweetheart. When everything is resolved and those criminals are in jail. You can say goodbye to him at his funeral."

"I know, but that seems so far away. What if the case never gets solved? What if the funeral isn't satisfying enough? I maybe never be able to say goodbye to him. It perhaps will never feel that way."

"I know it seems far away, but that means that every day from now on will be a step closer to getting to say goodbye to him."

Jackson sighs softly as he dries his last tears. "Yeah I guess so." He says softly.

Mark hugs Jackson and he rocks them back and forth a bit. Mark's left hand going through Jackson hair and his other hand holding him tightly around his waist. Jackson rests his head on Mark's shoulder as he enjoys the comfort of his boyfriend hugging him.

There is a knock on the door. Jackson looks up "come on in" he says, his voice hoarse from crying.

The door opens and Jinyoung stands there. "How are you feeling?" he asks, concern evident in his voice.

"I am okay I guess? I don't know I feel a bit numb from all the crying to be honest."

"I understand. I don't know if you're hungry but I made some dinner so if you want to you can eat a little, both of you actually."

"Yeah, we'll be coming down." Jackson says. Jinyoung just nods and closes the door.

They both get up and Jackson's mind is immediately filled with other thoughts. He worries about the future. He will have to go to the police station soon. He has no clue what to expect and if he is being honest he feels scared. He doesn't know what the police officers will tell him.

He is afraid an ugly truth of his uncle will be revealed. He fears the police will go too far, investigating every single little thing. Maybe there is something that will be revealed, something that Jackson doesn't know about his uncle.

Up until know he had never found it weird that his uncle didn't have a wife or kids. He had not found it weird his uncle didn't share much about his work. Now, it all seemed suspicious. He re-thinks all the conversations he had had with his uncle. He never noticed how his uncle didn't share much about himself. He had never noticed how his uncle would change the topic if Jackson asked something about his work.

Jackson notices how his uncle was actually quite vague about his life. Jackson had always thought it was because he had nothing much to share or because his life wasn't too interesting. Or because his uncle liked to live simply. But now, it all seemed like Jackson was being lied to.

Jackson becomes painfully aware of this now, as he tries to eat the dinner Jinyoung has made. Jackson eats calmly, or makes it seem like he is. Internally he is freaking out. His uncle might possibly might not be the person who he says he is.

His mood changes, he is no longer sad about his uncle but rather mad at him for not telling him what secrets he was hiding. Of course, nothing was sure until the police told him about their findings of his uncle.

It did make Jackson mad, how dare his uncle not to share anything about himself? Why was his uncle a selfish bastard who didn't even share anything with the person he was the closest to?

Jackson's hand forms a fist on the table as he stops eating and inhales deeply.

"Jackson, are you okay?" Mark asks concerned.

"Do I look okay to you?" Jackson yells.

"Wow, Jackson calm down. What is going on?" Jinyoung says as he stands up from his seat.

"Do. Not. Come. Near. Me." Jackson tells him coldly. Jinyoung stops moving and looks down at Mark, who is now also rising up from his chair. They exchange a worried yet anxious look. Why is he acting like this all of a sudden? 

"You too, do not come near me." Jackson snaps.

"Jackson. What is going on?" Mark repeats calmly.

"My goddamn uncle, that's what's going on Mark." Jackson lashes out. He turns around and walks to his room. He needs to find tickets to Hong Kong. Right now.

Jinyoung and Mark are left dumbfounded. They look at each other.

"What the hell just happened?" Jinyoung asks Mark astonished.

Mark thinks back about the time where he had lost someone dearly. He remembers being angry at some point to. He was angry at himself, at the world, at everything. For no reason really but he was angry at himself for not being able to say goodbye to the man who had died. He was angry at the world for letting such a beautiful human being die.

Looking back to it, it was all silly. It only hurt the people around him when he was in such mood. He remembers he was just constantly mad. He had a lot of conflicts and thoughts in his head. He saw the world from a dark perspective and he couldn't see anyone like a good person for a while. That until he started bargaining.

"I think it's just another state of him trying to cope with this all. I was mad a lot too when someone close to me died. I yelled, I threw things around, I screamed, I cried. Nothing really helped me from getting rid of the feeling. Until I started thinking about how I could have let it happen and how I was selfish. Jackson being this mad is just part of his grieving process. We shouldn't take it personally. We should just let him cool down. He will come to us, and if not we will go to check on him."

"That makes sense. I am just worried about him. This whole situation is unbelievable."

"It is, but Jackson will survive this. It will be okay."

"I guess so. Another random question, who did you lose?"

Mark starts telling about the owner of the grocery store who had died. They both sit down again and Jinyoung listens to him attentively. Mark explains about all the different emotions he went through and how much it had damaged him but also how it made him stronger.

Jinyoung asks questions about everything. He just wants to understand what he can expect from Jackson the upcoming months. Jinyoung is someone who takes yelling personally and who starts to think it's his fault when someone gets mad. He hopes by hearing Mark's story he will understand Jackson's feelings. He also hopes he won't feel attacked by Jackson every time he says something nasty to him or about him.

Mark answers all the questions and gives Jinyoung some advice on how to deal with him when Mark won't be around to do so. Mark realizes he can't be around all the time because he has a store he owns, he needs to make money. He can't expect Jaebum and Youngjae to run the entire store for him. Of course he will travel with Jackson to Hong Kong. He wants to be there for him as much as he can.

The living door creeks open and both of the boys fall silent and look up at the door. Jackson stands in the doorway, his head low and he is visibly trembling on his feet.

Mark stands up from his seat and walks up to him. He engulfs Jackson in a hug. "What's up baby, why are you crying?" he asks.

"I- I feel sorry to you guys. I shouldn't have lashed out to you guys. I don't know what is wrong with me." Jackson replies softly.

"It's okay, it's all part of you grieving. It's okay, we won't take it personally." Jinyoung says, he has stood up from his seat and his patting Jackson's lower back.

"It just hit me my uncle is probably lying about everything. Lying about who he is, or was. It hit me he never told me anything about his life, about his job. I feel like I know nothing about him and it makes me mad that I don't know him. I am mad at myself, for not asking him enough about his job and always thinking he just wanted privacy. I am mad at him, for not telling me, the person who he is closest with the truth. I am sorry for lashing out."

"It's okay, we can't blame you." Mark says. He lets go of Jackson and lifts Jackson's head, he looks him in his eyes, "it's okay." He shushes Jackson.

Jackson nods. "When I was upstairs I wanted to buy tickets to Hong Kong. I was so mad I felt like I had to find out the truth as fast as possible. I didn't do it. Before I could even pay I realized I shouldn't have gotten so mad at you two. I immediately started crying as I realized what kind of an ass I was being."

"You're not an ass Jackson. You are just feeling what you are feeling and that's okay." Jinyoung says to him. Jackson nods once again and embraces Jinyoung. Jinyoung hugs him back.

"Let's look at those tickets tomorrow, okay? Let's enjoy ourselves a little, shall we watch a movie?" Mark proposes.

--------------------------------------------------------
A/N: Well then.. This was an emotional rollercoaster. Much more emotional rollercoaster to come because I am not done with this yet at all.

It's only going to get worse 👀

Anyway, until next time! 💕

~jacksonsidiot👀