So one of the things I noticed this morning is that my mom wants me to be someone else. (aka her) We were on our way to church and she kept trying to get me to change to "current style" or "looking good." Well, what if one day, I became a famous author and my style was considered "current style" and/or "looking good" and everyone started wearing it.
My friends around me keep pushing me around trying to change who I am by pushing me into boys. Ima like
No thank youuu. They ask me why I don't date.
Because it's not me yet.
Did you really think that it would work?
Other friends... Well sometimes they encourage me not to be me by not caring about my problems.

Because the truth is I am sloppy. I am not perfect. I am a mess. I am not "boy crazy" I am still considering. I am.

But I'm also honest. I am also kind. I am also an author. I am also friends with several people. I am generous. I am a child of God. I am merciful. I am willing to give anyone a second chance. I am a nerd. I am a dork and a geek. I am funny. But more importantly I am happy. And that's all that matters isn't it?

My old friend identity came back to give me a reality check after I thought I knew exactly what I was supposed to do. But what I thought wasn't right. That thing couldn't make me happy anymore and the more I started thinking about it...
I realized that the one thing kept coming back to me.
Writing.
I would write stories everyday! Wattpad was given to me. And when I have it up the first time, it came straight back.
And it was his fault. Him.
Stampy.

Being me is who I want to be! Maybe not who you want to be!

I can't tell you how many more times I have cried. I have considered even considered doing the thing Stampy encouraged me not to do a while ago.

But I started gaining a community that was...me.

People cared for me! It's not like nobody else did, but it was nice to see that people actually did care for one another over the Internet.

I was scared okay?! That these people would be horrible people!!!! I was taught that the people that used the Internet was bad!

And you know what? My first internet friend was met over an RPG game.

They had a community! And I was the weird friend they loved to lift up and laugh at and...have me as their best friend...
It felt amazing! Just think. Think of your dream or the best thing in the world to you. The thing that would bring you pure happiness! Whether it is winning a 5lb bag of gummie Bears, or winning a Grammy, listen. This felt ten times better than that!

Me was building up. At that time I wanted to teach and do music. But that wasn't me.

Me still loved to create characters and stories to go along with them! Me still wanted to continue writing! All these ideas were coming into my head at once and it was all more words than I could ever fit in any amount of paper they just kept going...

Even after I quit going I still wrote stories.
I lived it. I loved it.

I wanted to know what I wanted to do. And it was writing.

That was me.

So next time your encouraging a friend, or your son and\or your daughter, or a parent, or anybody, to do anything....

Just think. Consider.

Is what I'm doing going to try to effect their me?

Because you can't change a me.

It's permanent.