Sneak

Sneak

Sneak

Sneak

Snea-

"Hey, Dadoo, what are you doin'" Asked the curious voice of Wakko Warner

"Shhh" Max responded pressing his finger over his mouth.

They were in the middle of the kitchen, but Max was quick to grab Wakko by the shirt and run out, hiding with him just outside the kitchen entrance.

"I'm going to sneak some garlic bread" Max explained, whispering aggressively.

"Oh, no way, cause I am too!" Wakko proclaimed excitedly.

"That's great!" proclaimed Max "You want to help your pops, if we work together I'm sure we can get quite a bounty"

"Sure!" agreed the child.

"Lets go get your siblings, something tells me they want in on this"

Wakko nodded and the two quickly made their way to the living room where Dot and Yakko were. 

Yakko was laughing loudly about something or rather, to the point where he was wheezing and coughing, meanwhile Dot had he arms crossed and was scowling, facing away from her oldest brother.

"Hey, what's so funny?" Max asked.

Between wheezes Yakko managed to say "She's trying to... She's trying to say, her full name, HAHAHAHAHA"

Dot let out a growl.

Wakko tried very hard not to snort.

"Oohh, that's always fun to see" Max said, you could heat the excitement in his voice. "Can you say it again, I wanna hear!" He smiled.

"No I can not, I refuse to" She growched.

"Oh, don't be like that, Dot, pleeeease, for Papa" Max begged.

"No"

"Okay fine, but I'm hearing it next time, you better get it on video one of you" Max declared, pointing at Wakko and Yakko.

Dot glared at the boys, "either of you record it and you die"

"Well, any who, how would you all like to help me steal garlic bread from the kitchen?" Max offered.

Yakko's and Dot's ears perked up at the sentence.

"Hmm, garlic bread you say, well I think we'd be inclined to help, right sibs?" Yakko thought allowed.

Dot and Wakko nodded excitedly.

"Great!"

"But here's my question" Dot began, here mood had fortunately changed "Why do we have to steal it, I mean, Dad doesn't really mind when we take things from the kitchen."

Yakko smiled, placing a hand on Dot's shoulder "Well you see my dear sister, the answer to that is quite simple... *ahem* It's funner"

"Can't argue with that" Wakko grinned with a shrug.

"You sure can't" Max agreed "and I've got a plan"

"Alright, lets hear it, Pops" Yakko invited.

"You three, go into the kitchen and distract your dad, do anything, just make sure his eyes are on you and away from the cupboard" The lagomorph instructed, "Meanwhile I am going to get rid of the lasagna noodles, that way, when he goes to boil the noodles he'll need to tell me to get more noodles, that or he'll go out himself, but he probably wouldn't trust me alone in a house with you three and the stove on. While he's telling me to get the noodles and giving me the money to pay, you kids take the garlic bread and get out of there, got it?"

"Uhhhh, doesn't this sound, I don't know, a little-" Yakko began only to be cut off by the younger siblings

"Overcomplicated?" Offered Dot

"A little much?" Wakko added

"Yes" Max said with a wide grin, "but this will be the most fun, and last time your dad was the one to buy the noodles, and it's the one with the weird aftertaste, so this is an excuse to get it out of here too, so what do you kids say?"

"We're in" The kids responded with a cheer and they scrambled into the kitchen.

"DAD! DAD! DAD!" They chanted, circling around the dog's legs

"WooOOAaaH" Sam hollered, nearly loosing his balance, but fortunately catching himself. "What is it?" He asked, still trying to keep steady.

The children stopped in a line of shortest to tallest, making sure they were positioned opposite from the cabinet.

Yakko held a finger to speak, but the only thing to come out was "uhhh" they hadn't thought of what to say.

Wakko realized this too, he hunched over and put a hand on his chin, thinking.

Dot though, had come prepared.

The youngest warner held her hands behind her back, stood up on her type toes and calmly stated "Yakko poked me"

This snapped Yakko out of his trance.

"Huh?" Yakko pipied.

Yakko was quick to jump onto the idea "Did not!" Yakko rebutted

"Did too!" Dot returned

"Hey, hey, stop fighting," He put a hand on each of their shoulders.

"Yakko, did you poke your sister?" Sam asked.

"No, no I didn't"

"Dot, why are you saying Yakko poked you" Sam questioned

"Because he did"

"Well I didn't"

"But you did"

"Yet I didn't"

"But you did"

"Oh boy, this isn't going anywhere" Sam muttered, he turned to Wakko "do you know what happened?"

"Oh, sure I do, I saw the whole thing"

Max smiled, seemed his plan was working perfectly, though he did feel a little bad for putting him in that situation, eh, he'll make it up to him later.

He rummaged through the cupboard until he found it, a box of the thick long noodles. He didn't know why Sam got this brand this time, it was honestly disgusting, and Max was usually open to putting anything in his "gaping maw", as Sam called it.

This brand had these weird little grey chunks in it, that Max couldn't really figure out, not to mention it left this indescribable sour taste in the back of his mouth. Gross.

"-So Dot flew the fighter jet plane into Diana Morgan's house which-"

Now Max just had to figure out how to get rid of the thing. He looked around, the trash was too full. THE WINDOW! That would do.

"-And then the giraffe said 'but the pumpernickel was mine'-"

Max zipped on over and tossed the box and it's contents right on the window "I purge thy evil from the world" he whispered to himself, just as the box was run over by 14 separate cars, a train, and a herd of elephants raging through the street. Perfect.

Max went back to the cupboard

"AND AFTER THAT Yakko said, 'and we can die like cowards, or live like warriors-"

Max turned around and gave a thumbs up to the kids, signaling to them to stop the diversion.

Dot saw this. "Oh you know, I don't think Yakko poked me after all, oh well" She shrugged

"Whoops" "Whoopsies" Yakko and Wakko added.

Max took this as his que.

"Oh no." He began dramatically "We are all out of noodles for tonight's meal, whatever shall we do"

Sam turned around to be greeted by Max dramatically posing in front of the wide open cupboard. He walked over next to Max. He squatted down and looked over the shelf before finally saying.

"Great june-bugs dancing on tiger-lilies with tarder sauce, It appears you're right, Max" Sam acknowledged, he thought for a moment.

While Sam was thinking, the kids found the plate which displayed the slices upon slices of glorious garlic bread goodness. As fast as they could, they snatched at the bread, tossing it into Wakko's shirt. When they felt they had enough (about a third of the batch) they zoomed out the room too indulge in their delicious treasure.

"Say Max, you think you can maybe go to the store for me and get some new noodles, I thought I got some last time, but I guess it slipped my mind." Sam rubbed the back of his neck, a little embarrassed

"Oh that's alright, pal, I'd be more than happy to get it for ya" Max beamed

"Thanks, here" Sam gave the Lagomorph some cash "Don't spend it all on cheese this time" he warned playfully.

"I'll try, but I can't make any promises" Max agreed.

Sam chuckled "You crack me up, little buddy"

Max gave a broad smile, walked out the kitchen, and towards the front door "Bye guys!" he called as he was about to exit

"BYYE" the people of the house called back, and Max was out.

Thankfully it didn't take long to get to the store, he only really had to go down the street to Bosco's.

"What are you doing here, where's the big one?!" Was what Max was greeted to when he entered.

"For your information I am cruising your establishment in the hopes of getting some Lasagna noodles" Max informed the paranoid man.

"Oh, sure you are, I don't trust you without Sam, hell even when you are with him I don't know if I can trust you."

"Well I could make that easier for you" Max offered "You can't"

With that, Max went to the back of the store to pick a much better noodle.

When he returned to the counter he placed the box down.

 "How much? Could it be free perhaps, for one of your best customers of two regulars?" Asked Max, blinking his eyes innocently.

"No, what kind of business do you think I'm running, that will be $10" Bosco enforced.

Max giggled "Worth a try" and held his hand out holding the amount of money.

Bosco went to grab it, but just as he was about to he grabbed hold of the Lagomorph's hand and pulled Max in close.

"Between you and me there's something bad going on tonight, I've seen 'em, in the shadows, creeping in the streets, bad news, the lot of it" The man whispered aggressively.

"What are you talking about?" Max questioned, not bothering to keep his voice down.

"Quite down, I'm talking 'bout weird figures on the block, I don't know what they're up to but it ain't good, they're after me, or somebody, I don't know who, probably me though, I just know it" Bosco explained, though it explained absolutely nothing.

Basco then let the rabbit thing free.

"Yeah suuuuure" Max said sarcastically "I'm gonna go" and so he left.

He walked down the street to the office, and up the stairs to their week-day apartment above the office.

A/N: If you're wondering what that, "week-day apartment" is all about, it's just a little headcanon of mine that Sam and Max live in an apartment above the office on work days and then for like weekends and vacations they go to live in the house. This is mainly because I saw a post on tumblr where at one point Sam and Max lived in a cottage and I loved that so much I had to incorporate it into my understanding of the Sam and Max universe. Why am I telling you all this? I just really wanted to tell you all my headcanon

When he opened the door, the first thing he noticed was how it was too quiet. Normally silence was impossible to achieve in this family, not that he was complaining, he loved it, it was one of the bonuses of being in a 5-person family if you asked him. There was never a dull moment, which was exactly the way he likes things.

Naturally, he found this scene... eerie. Carefully Max tread through the home, the floor beneath him squeaked quietly, the only noise in the apartment.

"Max, I mean Sam, you here?" he called "Where are ya?"

He peered into the kitchen, there didn't seem to be anyone in there, but the stove was on. He walked over to it and turned it off. It wasn't like Sam to leave the stove on like that, and that worried him "Sam?"

There was no answer...

"Kids?" he tried, again, there was no response, not even Yakko, who, if his name wasn't a given, was a yakker. If he was quiet, that couldn't be good, either for him or the people around, it was really a matter of who was messing with who. "Dot? Wakko? Yakko?"

He looked into more rooms, and found no evidence of where they were.

"Sam? Kids?" He was kinda starting to let his worry slip to the surface "If you're doing a joke, I mean, that's fine, I like jokes, but... I don't like this one very much, SO COME OUT!" He yelled desperately.

Still, nothing.

"Guys! C'mon! This ain't funny" his voice felt fainter.

Every room in the apartment, empty, nothing, quiet. This wasn't right.

Where could they be? What was happening?

Maybe they had gone out for ice cream, that could be possible, right? Or maybe they were getting some kind of surprise? Maybe somebody saw something outside, and they all went to look because it was neat, that could be it? Or... Or...

He entered the living room after his 3rd search around the building, and he saw it, a note, sitting alone on the table. Something he somehow missed in his searches. He jumped on the table and snatched it up quickly, reading it intently to see if it had any clues to tell him what had happened to Sam and the kids. And he was in luck, if you could call it that.

Max held the letter in his hand, reading it over and over again, until finally, he let it drop and drift to the ground.

They were gone...

Taken...

He was alone, unless he could find them...

He didn't move, he was still processing this information.

When his brain finally caught up to him, he gave his reaction.

"AAAAAGGG" He cried out angrily, flipping the coffee table, breaking it in half. 

He breathed heavily for a few moments, letting his brain reboot again.

"no, no, no no nonononono" he whispered. He pulled his hands over his face and sunk down to the floor, tears were beginning to form in his eyes.

This wasn't happening, this wasn't supposed to happen, it shouldn't be, it shouldn't be. He felt the pace of his breath quicken. He pulled down on his ears and his head hit the ground. That was right about when he began to sob.

He stayed like that for a while, on the floor, feeling like he'd been shattered and broken. But eventually he got up, with struggle, he felt like a chunk of lead had been placed in his stomach, as if he was being weighed down by each step.

He turned to leave the house, might as well get a move on, he knew what he had to do, but... he didn't feel right, too empty, too alone. He turned around and dashed into Sam and his room, delving into Sam's pile of clothes.

He came out holding a tie and hat. He placed the hat on his head gingerly, and wrapped the tie around his neck with care, like a scarf. After he was done with that, he took the Scarf's end and held it close to him, taking a long deep breath.

It wasn't as good as the actual thing, but it definitely made the Lagomorph feel less... on his own, and the scent was confronting as well, like Sam was still there beside him, where he was supposed to be.

He had to head out. He walked out the room and into the hall, making his way to the door. He opened it and found-

"Sam?" Max looked up and saw him, the dressed in blue and all, the big brown dog.

"Hey there, little buddy" the dog smiled.

Max grinned from ear to ear, he was okay, of course he was okay, he was Sam, he was always gonna be okay.

He lunged forward and hugged Sam "You're alright! I shoulda known, You scared me, are you happy? Happy I can feel emotions other than minical glee? How'd you get away, you shoot 'em? I bet you shot 'em, didn't you" Max babbled on, but Sam didn't say anything.

"Hey, uh, you okay?" Max asked, he pulled apart from him, and his eyes grew wide at what he saw.

Sam was bloodied and cold. His eyes weren't open. There were gashes in his skin deep as craters, and his fur was ruffled and matted

"S-Sam?" Max stuttered.

The body said nothing, only looking horribly disfigured

Then the body fell forward and-

Max awoke with a start, screaming, looking around frantically, breathing erratically.

Sam wasn't there, real or hallucinated.

He was in the car, it was cold, there was nobody there. He looked at the car clock. 5:49 am it read.

He had to get going.

And with that he got back into his seat and started driving.